Hermione Surfs the Net

Hermione sat at the computer in her bedroom, surfing the internet. Being a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she wasn’t really that interested in computers. They didn’t have them at her school, of course, and none of her friends from the wizarding world used them. But she was home on summer holiday and very bored. She’d been invited to the Burrow, the Weasley’s house, for the month of August. But it wasn’t August yet, and Hermione was finding it hard to be patient. It seemed that August would never come.

In frustration, Hermione clicked on a link to a search engine site and typed in “Order of the Phoenix.” She sat staring at the computer screen with her mouth open, amazed at what had come up on the screen.

“Harry Potter Fan Fiction?” Hermione read out loud in a puzzled voice. “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” The computer screen listed a whole page of links to pages with this name. All different pages, different stories. Stories involving Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny, Luna, even Draco Malfoy, as well as Professor Lupin, Sirius, the rest of the Weasley family, Professor Dumbledore, Snape and (gulp) Voldemort.

Hours passed. Hermione’s mum called her for the evening meal, and she realized she’d spent most of the day reading. Her head was spinning. There were stories about Harry defeating Voldemort, stories about Ron and Hermione snogging, stories about Harry and Ginny snogging. It was strange to read about herself and her friends as if they were famous, and even stranger to read about them doing things they’d never actually done.

Hermione ate as quickly as she could so she could return to her computer right away. This time, however, she stumbled upon a story that left her feeling quite shocked. It was a story involving her and Draco Malfoy in a romantic relationship. Hermione quickly hit the “back” button.

“Fiction Alley Park,” Hermione read from one of the links. “I wonder what that is.” Hermione clicked on it. The computer screen was soon filled with a message board, all about “Harry Potter Fan Fiction.” There were posts by people with all sorts of strange screen names, names that were familiar to Hermione and some that weren’t. The posts discussed stories these people had written, ideas they had for stories they might want to write (“Plot bunnies,” Hermione read that they were called), and Ships that they supported.

“Ships?” said Hermione, puzzled once again.

She continued reading, her mouth hanging open, and soon learned they were various combinations of romantic relationships involving the people Hermione knew at Hogwarts and in the Wizarding world. Some of these seemed right to Hermione. She’d enjoyed reading stories that told about her and Ron, and the ones about Harry and Ginny had made her smile. They were perfect for each other, after all. But — Draco Malfoy and Luna Lovegood? Or Draco and Ginny? That was even worse. She was, of course, most offended by those who sought to pair Hermione herself with Draco. She could understand that these people realized that Draco was attractive, but … Well, Hermione just wouldn’t think about that.

She read a few more posts before turning off the computer for the night. “The Government Stole My Toad!” Hermione giggled as she switched off the computer and got into bed.

The next morning Hermione was dreaming about Ron. Ron was kissing her. Then he was yelling about how she was too obsessed with rules. Then he was kissing her again. As she started to wake up, she put her hand on top of the bed covers, and she was instantly wide awake. She’d put her hand onto something furry! Something that definitely did not belong in her bed.

Opening her eyes, she looked to see what it was. It was a rabbit! A small, white rabbit sitting quietly on her bed. Well, not so quietly. Suddenly, it nipped one of her fingers. “Ouch!” said Hermione. She pulled back her hand and jumped out of bed, heading for the bathroom.

The skin was not broken. It was early yet, but since she was wide awake Hermione decided to take a shower. The nice warm water would make her feel better after having been awakened so rudely. She needed to think of something else. What had she been dreaming of? Ron … Ron kissing her ….

Before Hermione knew it, the plot of an entire story had just appeared in her head. A story about Ron blocking a goal and then flying toward where Hermione sat in the Quidditch stands. Ron would pick her up and carry her away to a secluded spot in the Forbidden Forest ….

What was she thinking? Ron would never do that! And Hermione wasn’t so sure she wanted their first kiss to take place in the Forbidden Forest anyway. Maybe at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Yes, that was better. It was the end of Astronomy class, and Ron needed extra help finding one of Saturn’s moons. Hermione stayed to help him, and soon the rest of the students, along with Professor Sinistra, had left the Tower and they were all alone ….

When Hermione stepped out of the shower, she found not one but two rabbits playing on the floor of the bathroom. They sure did multiply quickly, these plot bunnies.