Nobody Knew

In the end, the reversing of the transfer rite was a very simple matter. A short incantation accompanied by drinking a single inconspicuous-looking potion, followed by a simple Finite Incantatum.

Theresa was sitting on the floor in the corner of her own living room, with arms circling her knees. She watched as her husband, in the form of her daughter, went through the motions. It still could go wrong, if the slightest part of the main rite had been amiss. And if it had, Severus could die. It was only after Caia's body collapsed to the floor and ceased to breathe while Severus' hand twitched that Theresa allowed herself a small sigh of relief. The relief was heavily lined with pain, for she realized that she would never see Caia alive again. But it was the pain she has been living with for the last couple of days, so it was actually easier to see her dead indeed, and not as a half-resurrected zombie.

Her heart breaking, she placed a Preserving Charm upon the girl's body and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Looking up, she allowed her eyes to wander, observing the artistically transfigured glass orbs as they floated beneath the ceiling, emitting faint light. They had to be triggered by a charm in order to emit more, but she had neither the power nor the inclination to do anything about the relative darkness of the room.

She knew, although only vaguely, what the Necromancy was. She was familiar with two or three rituals, their mechanics and purpose. She had seen the results of some more advanced stuff back in the First Reign of Terror. She was aware of the fact that her husband had been deep into it during his Death Eater years. Being aware was one thing, but seeing Caia walking, talking and performing magic was another.

What have you done, Severus? What have you done?

"Theresa?"

It was a barely audible croak, but she could hear the confusion and fear in it. She rushed to Severus' side.

"Severus?" she whispered, as if afraid that a loud question would cause him to retreat back into unconsciousness. "Are you all right?"

His eyes were closed as he moved his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I think so. Headache. To be expected after... well, after."

He managed to prop himself up on his elbows, but failed to get up.

"Here, I'll help you."

She didn't succeed in helping him up. He was too heavy and seemed boneless in his present state. She let him sit with his back against the wall instead, doing the same thing beside him. The reality started to sink in. She was free. Everything was over. She was all right... safe and sound, at home. She was safe and sound and at home. But only her.

Caia's body was dead, cold, and unmoving.

She had no more tears; her choked sobs were dry. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... it should have been me!"

With some strange newly found strength he gathered her in his arms, holding tightly. "No, never you. Never you."

"My fault... all my fault..."

He released his tight hold on her, clutching her arms until she winced with pain and looking into her eyes. "Not your fault. If anybody's, it's mine."

"I wasn't careful... I told them not to bother me... I lost our children. I lost them! Caia, Cassius, Aurelia!"

Snape knew guilt and self-hatred when he saw them, and it was what he could see on Theresa's face right now. It was forming behind the pain and the despair... No wonder she had wanted to die, thinking all the children were dead.

"Cassius and Arelia are fine!" he cried, shaking her. "They are alive, at Hogwarts!"

Her sobs died, as the look of hope replaced astonishment in her eyes, "They are?"

"Yes, yes!" he whispered fervently, moving his hands up to wipe the dirt from her face with his thumbs. "Aurelia was all right, she managed to come to me and I was able to save Cassius. He's recovering at Hogwarts."

"They are... well? Alive?"

It turned out she did have tears left. They were not tears of happiness, or joy. It was the catharsis she needed. The relief from shock, from guilt, from fear, from pain. She had to look up when she felt the wetness seeping into her clothing. What she saw made her sob even harder. Severus was crying. Never, in all their years together has she seen him cry. Not even once.

It was more reassuring than if he told her that everything would be all right. They both knew it wouldn't. But he knew what she felt, he could understand her pain... he felt the same.

The first thing to do was to regain some strength. When Snape entered the kitchen he was grateful that he sent Theresa upstairs to take the shower, for the sight that greeted his eyes was a little more than horrific. He had forgotten about the dead house-elves. The dark soils of dried blood on the floor and the stench of decaying flesh hit his senses, making his stomach churn. Merlin, he was worse off than he thought.

Cleaning took him more time than expected, but then the house elves were always the ones to do cleaning. He had no time to do more than prepare coffee when Theresa entered the kitchen.

"How do you feel?" he asked, placing a steaming mug in front of her.

"Better," she replied quietly. Indeed, washed, with her hair combed and in clean clothes, she looked much better. The eyes behind small wire-rimmed glasses were conscious if somewhat dull. "Severus... what did you do?"

His lips thinned. "I did what I had to in order to keep you alive."

"At what cost? At the cost of our daughter's soul?"

A little shiver went down his spine. Soul... No, he was too good a Necromancer to endanger Caia's soul. Although... there was something wrong with the balance of power while he was in Caia's body. He had been too powerful. Those last pieces of Apparition were extremely difficult and he shouldn't have been able to perform them. Did he, by any chance...?

"There was no soul, Theresa," he said harshly. "Caia was dead. Dead. All I manipulated was the body. The soul was gone."

"How can you been so sure? What if Caia can’t find rest? I have seen some ghosts roaming the earthly planes because of the Necromancy rituals. They were trapped, bounded to places, tied to objects, couldn’t find the way..."

He felt drops of sweet forming on his forehead. "It won't be Caia's fate! I'm a Necromancer, with a capital N, certified in Abydos! I know what I am doing." And even if, Snape thought, I would know how to reverse the damage. Wouldn't I?"

Theresa stared at him, her blue eyes suddenly hard as diamonds. "But how could you have taken the risk? Risk the condemnation of our daughter's soul?"

At that, he clenched his hands in fists of helpless anger. How can she question that? "Would you rather die? It was the only way I could think of to get you back!"

She switched her gaze to the coffee mug. "It was not the only way. Out of the two, I would have preferred the... the... what they had in mind back in front of Voldemort."

Snape shook his head fervently. "No, Theresa..." he went around the table she was sitting at and kneeled down in front of her, placing his hands on hers, but she withdrew from his touch. "That would have taken you away from me as effectively as death would. If I had raped you while Voldemort was watching, while the other Death Eaters laughed and cheered on me, you would never be able to forget that. You know that, Theresa, you begged me not to go through with it. You would always wonder if all the crimes I committed were natural to me. If I really am a Dark Wizard at heart. You would never trust me again."

She kept silent.

"Please, understand," he said pleadingly.

Nothing. Well, that would take some time, he supposed. Sighing, he acknowledged the subject was closed for the time being. Standing up, he went to the cupboards, deciding that busying himself with the kitchen routine would be more productive right now. Finding the vegetables, he started to cut them, the familiar task soothing his mind and helping him steady his hands.

"I saw Peter," Theresa whispered hollowly, and Snape's knife slipped, almost cutting his thumb off.

He's always despised Petttigrew, but since returning to Voldemort's fold, the negative feelings towards the man progressed to loathing. Theresa had cried for him when he had disappeared from the face of Earth fourteen years ago, but that was nothing in comparison of the heart-wrenching despair when she learned about his betrayal.

"What happened?"

"He was surprised that I'm alive." Her tone was matter-of-fact, but Snape knew how hard it must have been for her. "He promised not to tell Voldemort who I am."

Snape considered it. Pettigrew keeping a secret? Of all ludicrous notions, that must have been the most laughable. Theresa would end up like the Potters. She almost did, although not because of her brother.

Putting the deck on the vegetable-filled pane, he sat at the table opposite his wife.

"Theresa, you do realize that--"

"I will have to change my persona again? I know." She looked around the kitchen with a wistful expression. "I'm going to miss this house."

Snape managed to smile a sad little smile. "It was home."

Yes, it was home. The first home of his where the good memories outweighed the bad. He was happy here. Until this week there was no pain attached to this place, no guilt, no remorse, no grief. Whenever he stepped through the fireplace he was greeted with affection. It was his respite from Potter, from Death Eaters, from bitter memories. Even when Aurelia shouted that he was a mean tyrant, who forbade her everything, he knew she loved him. Even when Caia accused him that he cared more for his Slytherins than her because he couldn't come for her birthday, he knew she would soon forget her anger and come to him asking for help in Potions. Even when Cassius pestered him about buying him a wand, Snape was aware he would rather be pestered by his son than not have him at all. He thanked every diety out there that he could quarrel with Thresa about their parenting methods.

There would be no home like that from now on. At least not in near future.

"We will have to find you a safe place."

"Hogwarts?" Theresa asked hopefully.

Severus felt like the worst of traitors having to squash her hope as he shook his head. "Too public, I'm sorry. And Emmeline Vance is going to teach DADA again, remember? It's enough that I will have to deal with my old Head of House, I would prefer not adding old grudges to the situation."

"Look who's calling the kettle black," Theresa murmured, but she looked convinced. She's never been on good terms with Emmeline Vance. "I learned to hold grudges from the best."

"Half of the school governors are our former classmates," Snape continued. "There are too many people who could recognize you, old staff aside. It's simply too perilous."

"Then what? Another heavily warded house? They didn't prove to be particularly safe, did they!"

Bitterness in her voice made her sound harsh. Snape felt another wave of guilt wash over him. Wards were his responsibility.

"Grimmauld place then." She didn't look too happy at the prospect and he couldn't blame her. "Unless you'd prefer to be settled with the Krums?"

Theresa blinked in confusion. "The Krums? Your cousins?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"They know about me?"

"Of course not. I would say you're a colleague of mine in dire need of peace and quiet to complete her work."

Hesitance shone in her eyes. "I don't know... It's so far away, the Carpathians... and the vampire population can be a real nuisance. I guess the Order headquarters wouldn't be so bad now that Black's gone. At least until the legal problems after Black's death arise. You'd visit..."

He sighed with relief. 'You'd visit.' If she chose the Krums' castle in the Carpathian mountains as a hide-away, his chances of restoring their relationship back to normal would be limited.

The frying pan began to hiss.

"Food's ready," he announced unnecessarily.

"Yes," Theresa said tentatively. "Yes, Grimmauld place. But I can go to Hogwarts, just to see Cassius and Aurelia? I won't be running around the school for everybody to see me."

Snape felt the headache getting worse. Theresa hadn't sounded so pleading since the start of his spying career. "Of course, love. We shall go to Hogwarts right after dinner."