Seeds of Doubt

Chapter 1:

"I'm sure you and Remus will do a great job looking after Harry" said James, leaning on the kitchen table.

Sirius looked at him. "What about Peter, surely he'd be the better choice?"

"Peter's coming with us; we need someone's help to organise things. We thought that, as you were the godfather, that you should take care of Harry since it's too dangerous to take him with us. We also thought it safer that you didn't look after Harry alone in case there is an attack on the house whilst we are gone. We thought it best that Remus rather than Peter helped you"

"Really... are you sure?"

"Yes," said James impatiently. "It's not just for you, though; we thought it would be safer for Remus to stay here rather than going gallivanting off around the country helping us to find a secure place. You know what BOTH sides have been doing to werewolves recently"

"Yes," admitted Sirius, "our side has been extremely suspicious of them..."

"That's an understatement," interjected James. "Werewolves have been imprisoned on the smallest of whims and as for Voldemort's people..."

"Join them or die," said Sirius frowning.

"Precisely."

"How can you be sure he hasn't joined them?"

"What makes you think that he has?" James practically shouted, he was so angry. They were interrupted by the sound of the front door being knocked upon.

"That's Remus now..." James called over his shoulder as he walked to the door. When he got there he opened the door and was met by the familiar face of his friend.

"Hi," Remus greeted him. "You all ready?

"I think so. Lily's just double checking upstairs and we're meeting Peter and Dumbledore at Hogwarts. Then it's just the task of organising everything. It shouldn't take us longer than a week. We will owl you regularly to keep you informed, though".

"Thanks, hope everything goes well. Has Sirius arrived yet?" inquired Remus.

"Yes, he's in the kitchen," replied James, gesturing over his shoulder with his head. Just as he did so Lily came downstairs holding Harry. She smiled at the sight of Remus.

"Hi Harry," Remus said taking Harry from his mother's arms. "Sorry I haven't seen you much since your birthday," Remus apologised.

"That's all right Remus," Lily answered for Harry, "we all know how hectic things have been recently."

"Well," said James, " I suppose we should be off. I'll go and get the trunks." He glanced at Lily, who simply nodded in reply, before disappearing upstairs.

"How have you been?" Remus asked cautiously.

"All right," Lily sighed. "It's funny how you never realise how much there is to organise until you actually have to think about it. Wills, money, bills, who would look after Harry if the worse happened, what stuff we should take, what stuff we should leave - where should we leave it. The questions go on and on." she said, gesturing with her hands.

"It is a minefield and none of them are easy questions." replied Remus, offering a grim smile of what he hoped to be encouragement. At the same time James came back down with the trunks, he once again looked at Lily. Remus shifted awkwardly on his feet. He felt like he was in the way. The silence was getting to be quite uncomfortable so he searched around to find what he hoped would be the best words of encouragement.

"Well, I wish you good luck." he said. Harry felt strangely heavy in his arms - he thought to himself how unfair it was that the parents had to leave their kid behind. He was brought out of his musing by James' reply to his lame statement of good luck.

"I think that you're the one that needs good luck, having to look after both Harry and Sirius," he smiled, although all that showed in his eyes was despair.

"I'm sure Harry will be fine..." Remus reassured him. "Sirius on the other hand..."

"Did I hear my name..." called Sirius, entering the hallway at long last. He leaned against the wall and stared at Remus.

"Yes, but we were talking about you not to you!" replied Lily, in a would be light-hearted manner.

"Well," said James, "see you." He seemed anxious to get going.

"Take care of yourselves," said Lily, turning to kiss her young son who was contentedly nestled deep in Remus' arms.

"Don't worry about us," Remus reassured them as they left, "You just take care of yourselves." When they had gone Remus and Sirius looked awkwardly at each other in silence until Harry's crying broke it. Remus gently bounced him up and down in his arms

"Shh, don't worry, they'll be back soon and until then you have us to play with."

"Yes," agreed Sirius, taking Harry from Remus' arms. "Let's go and see what we can find to eat in the kitchen, it's almost lunch time." Sirius walked into the kitchen leaving Remus behind sadly watching them go.

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Chapter 2:

If Remus thought that things would settle down once Sirius got used to the idea of him looking after Harry, he was greatly mistaken. For the next couple of days Sirius kept Harry away from Remus as much as he could, and hardly talked to him at all.

"Look at this mess," Remus complained, as he entered the lounge. "You should pack away the toys that you're not playing with."

Sirius just shrugged in return, answering, "I'll put them away before James and Lily come back, so don't worry"

"It's dangerous," said Remus angrily. He half thought of tidying it up himself, but there was the principal of it. It was Sirius who had created the mess not him.

"Not if you look where you are going" Sirius replied haughtily. Remus sighed in exasperation, clearly annoyed with the game Sirius was playing.

"Don't tell me how to care for Harry, especially not in that tone of voice. I didn't ask you to hang around to help me." Sirius said, his face clouding over in anger.

"No, but James and Lily did and Harry's their son," Remus snapped back.

Harry, seemingly oblivious to the argument, started to yawn. Remus immediately turned his attention to Harry.

"He's falling asleep." he told Sirius.

"And? ..." Asked Sirius agitatedly. Remus sighed again. 'How could Sirius put their little quarrel before Harry?' he questioned silently. He decided to ignore Sirius

"Come on Harry, time for bed," he said as he picked Harry up off of the floor.

" You've always have to be right, haven't you?" growled Sirius.

"And you can't ever admit that your in the wrong" replied Remus, walking away without looking back.

Up in Harry's bedroom Remus gently laid Harry down in his cot.

"Night, night, Harry, pleasant dreams." Remus tucked Harry in and watched him until he was sure that Harry was asleep. Then he looked at the door and supposed that he should really go and check on Sirius.

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Chapter 3:

Remus laid awake in bed in the guest bedroom (Sirius had Lily and James' bedroom). Things were not going well between him and Sirius and if they were not careful, Harry would pick up on the tension between them, if he hadn't already. But the point was Harry was in enough of a difficult situation as it was, all the Potters were, without Remus and Sirius adding to it. Sirius had refused to say one word to Remus when he had come down from putting Harry to bed; he had just sat in a seat and glared at him. Remus had found this so distracting that he had given up trying to read his book and decided to go on to bed. Deciding that just because Sirius was being rude to him didn't mean that he had to be uncivilised too, he had bid Sirius goodnight, only to be greeted with silence as a reply. But then he hadn't really expected anything else.

So Remus lay there, wondering where and when his relationship with Sirius had gone so wrong. Only Sirius going downstairs in what, Remus figured was a trip to get a glass of water broke the silence. He hadn't been down there long when an almighty crash could be heard downstairs, then more silence. Thinking that it may be burglars or worse, Remus grabbed his wand and crept down the stairs. He carefully looked into the lounge to be greeted by the sight of Sirius laying down face first on the ground.

"What happened?" Remus inquired.

"I tripped," was the quiet reply.

"Well if you'd looked where you were going..."

"Very funny," snapped Sirius.

"OK, what have you hurt?"

"I don't need your help."

"Fine," Remus replied, in a calm manner. "I'll just stand here and watch you sort yourself out."

"What if I don't want an audience?"

"Tough!"

Remus leant against the doorway as he watched Sirius try to bring himself to his feet and support his own weight. It was obvious that he had hurt his left foot, as he could only stand on his right. It was utterly impossible for him to navigate the untidiness of the lounge floor. Eventually Sirius gave up, leant against the sofa, and stared at Remus.

"Do you need help now?" Remus asked, only to be greeted by silence. "OK then, if you don't need any help I'm off back to bed."

"Yes I do need help," Sirius finally replied, obviously angry as to the fact that Remus was right. Remus stopped in mid-turn, about to make his way back upstairs.

"Happy now?" Sirius snapped. Remus decided not to reply to this, instead muttering a quick cleaning spell to tidy the floor up. It wouldn't do either of them any good, if he tripped over and hurt himself as well. He then helped Sirius upstairs and back to his bed.

Once they were safely in James and Lily's bedroom Remus started to examine Sirius' ankle. "It's just a sprain," said Remus whilst looking at Sirius' ankle. "Do you want me to heal it?" Remus asked. Sirius didn't reply. "Well, if that's how you're going to be then you can heal it yourself."

This wasn't an option, Sirius was not at all good with healing spells and Remus knew it.

"What do you want me to do? Beg to you on bended knees?" asked Sirius sarcastically.

"No just some simple civilised conversation would do. I'm tired of you growling whenever I try to do anything with Harry. I'm also tired with your absolute refusal to say anything the rest of the time." Remus found his voice was getting louder as he went along. Suddenly Harry started crying in the next room. "Damn!" Remus exclaimed. He hadn't meant for his voice to get that loud, let alone wake Harry up.

Sirius made a move as to get up but Remus pushed him back down, and went to get Harry. He brought him into Lily and James' bedroom with him and handed him to Sirius.

"See I don't mind sharing. Now let's deal with that ankle of yours..." Harry had now stopped crying and was contentedly snuggled up in Sirius' arms. Harry's presence meant that it made it difficult for Remus and Sirius to continue arguing, so the time was spent in complete silence which was only broken by Sirius answering yes of no to Remus' questions about his ankle. By the time Remus had finished with Sirius' ankle, Harry was fast asleep.

"All done," Remus proclaimed. "Right, Harry, back to your own bed now I think." He then picked Harry up and left the room without another word, Sirius remained silent as they left.

Remus laid Harry down and watched him sleep for a while and then he made his way back to his own bedroom. Only he didn't fall asleep, he just looked at the quarter moon through his window and sighed. 'When had things got so complicated? When had things got so lonely? Did it matter anyway? Couldn't change anything now,' he silently thought wistfully. Silently he turned away from the window to see Sirius standing in the doorway, how long he'd been there Remus didn't know.

"Thanks," was all Sirius said before he turned away and went back to his own room.

The End.