Just Plain Harry

Chapter 21 The Hour of Lead

When Harry and Ginny burst into the kitchen, it was already in an uproar.

 

“I have to go, Molly,” Mr. Weasley was saying. “I can’t imagine how this happened, but Sirius and Remus must need my help - something must have gone horribly wrong.”

 

“You don’t have to go anywhere!” Mrs. Weasley said, her eyes flashing and her hands on her hips. “Have you forgotten who’s staying in this house right now? What if this is all just a feint to draw you away so that they can attack here?”

 

Mr. Weasley actually laughed, though it didn’t sound completely normal. “I’d like to see them try. You’d be a match for them all by yourself, my dear.” He stepped closer to her, which Harry thought was very brave of him, and kissed her on the cheek. “You know this house is quite safe. I really have to go. Say good-bye to the children for me.” He pulled a battery out from a pocket in his robes, muttered a few words, and disappeared.

 

Harry had felt Ginny holding herself back throughout the whole conversation, and now she could hold it in no longer.

 

“Mum! Who - who was attacked?”

 

Mrs. Weasley had been staring at the spot where her husband had vanished, but at this she turned instantly. “Oh, Ginny,” she said. “I’m so, so sorry, dear.” She put her arms around her daughter, and drew her into a chair at the table. Harry followed.

 

“What? Who is it?” he asked. Why Ginny especially? he thought. I thought the attack was going to be against someone I cared about.

 

Mrs. Weasley looked at him with tears in her eyes, but then she turned back to Ginny. “It was...it was Colin. His...house was attacked early this morning...the whole family was killed.”

 

Ginny turned with a horrified look to Harry, and then buried her head in his shoulder, sobbing convulsively. Shocked as Harry was, somehow he knew what to do. He put one arm around her, and reached with the other for the Daily Prophet, which was still lying on the table. All the details were there. The attack had begun at 5:53 precisely, with ten Death Eaters, in masks and hooded robes, killing the two Aurors who had been watching the Creeveys’. Mr. and Mrs. Creevey, Colin, his brother Dennis, and his little sister Lydia, who Colin had been sure was going to start Hogwarts next year, all dead. Witnesses - Muggles, of course, and their memories had been wiped - reported that one of the Death Eaters had had a silver hand.

 

Early this morning, Harry thought. So, the whole time we were having fun, opening presents and playing in the snow, Colin and Dennis were already dead. How could I have forgotten? How could Ginny...

 

Ginny’s sobs were easing somewhat, and Harry patted her on the back, looking up at Mrs. Weasley, who had sat down across the table from them, in mute appeal. He was surprised to see that, along with the tears in her eyes, she also had a somewhat satisfied look. She can’t be pleased that her daughter has turned to me for comfort, he thought. No mother in her right mind would want that - I’m obviously far too dangerous. Even people that are just friends; really, not much more than acquaintances, are in peril. But he had to admit that holding Ginny felt just about perfect. It also felt right that he was the one to comfort her - he wanted to be there for her in the bad times, as well as the good.

 

Ginny pulled away from him suddenly, and reached for the newspaper. She took one look at the picture of the Creeveys’ house, with the Dark Mark floating above it, and buried her face in Harry’s shoulder again. This time, he put both arms around her and started rocking slightly, just as the rest of the snow-ball fighters re-entered the kitchen.

 

“Ginny!” Hermione said. “What happened?”

 

Ginny obviously wasn’t going to be able to answer her - she started crying even harder - so Harry said, “It was Colin. His house was attacked, his whole family was killed.”

 

“Oh, no!” Hermione gasped. She sat down in a chair with a thud. Ron moved to stand protectively behind her, his own face looking almost blank. “Oh, Ginny, I’m so sorry.”

 

At that, Ginny’s sobs stopped. She sat up straight, and glared at everyone, though she seemed to be most adamant about Harry. He had no idea why.

 

“I knew people would react like that!” she said. “Colin and I were just friends, nothing more. If you must know, I’m more upset that I didn’t prevent it - it was my vision, after all. What’s the use of having a talent when -” She broke off and bolted from the room.

 

Hermione looked after her, her face bewildered. “That’s all I meant,” she said. “I’m sorry she lost a friend...” she trailed off.

 

There didn’t seem to be much else to say. Ron reached over Hermione’s shoulder for the Daily Prophet and started reading it. Bill said that he supposed he should get changed, so he could report in, but Mrs. Weasley told him he would do no such thing - his responsibility was to his family, since his father had had to go. Percy disappeared, muttering something about the Ministry, and George looked like he’d been hit by a Bludger in the stomach.

 

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Fred said to him, his habitual smile wiped from his face. “But if you’re worried, you should owl her.”

 

“You know how her family feels when she gets owls,” George said, but he was already rummaging for paper and a quill.

 

Suddenly, Mr. Granger cleared his throat. “Erm, I don’t mean to pry...but, what is going on here?” He looked significantly at Hermione.

 

She gasped, as though she had forgotten that he was there. Then she turned and looked imploringly at Mrs. Weasley, who sighed and nodded.

 

“I suppose I should explain a lot of things to both you and Sophie,” she said. “Come along, Hermione, we need to have a talk with your parents.”

 

Hermione looked like that was the absolute last thing she wanted to do right then. Her parents knew about Voldemort, and they knew that Harry was a target, but she hadn’t told them about his dream, and she hadn’t told them that she was being trained as an Auror. She stood up resolutely, though she looked a little green, but when Ron took her hand and followed her out the door, she managed to give him a tight smile.

 

Harry followed them out of the kitchen. He didn’t know where he was going, exactly, but he knew that he didn’t want to stay there. Fred and George were looking entirely too solemn for them - it was unnatural. And Bill and Charlie were talking in such quiet voices, that Harry knew they didn’t want to be overheard, even if he had wanted to, which he didn’t.

 

As soon as he stepped into the hall, Mrs. Weasley pulled him aside.

 

“Harry, I do need to talk to the Grangers, but I think Ginny needs someone, too. Could you please go and check on her?”

 

“Me? But...why not Bill?”

 

“I think,” Mrs. Weasley began, but then she paused for a moment before beginning again. “I doubt she’ll want to talk to anyone, truthfully, but you have the best chance, and she does need someone, whether or not she’ll admit it.” She didn’t give him a chance to answer; she just turned and joined the group in the living room.

So Harry slowly started up the stairs. Ginny certainly hadn’t seemed like she wanted to talk to anyone, but maybe that was a girl thing - to run away, but expect someone to follow. He wouldn’t have wanted anyone to follow; in fact, he didn’t really want to talk to anyone right then, himself. It would be so easy to just keep going up these stairs to Ron’s room, and shut himself away from everybody. He knew that Ginny was feeling like this was her fault - she’d said as much - but it was just as much his fault as hers, if not more. But Ginny needed him, so he stopped at her door and knocked softly.

 

The only sound that greeted him was her quiet sobbing.

 

“Ginny, it’s Harry,” he began, not really sure what to say to get her to open the door. “Please let me in.” She didn’t say anything, but he thought that her sobs sounded a bit louder.

 

“Ginny, please. It’s...it’s not your fault, you know. Your vision warned us, and we all should have thought of Colin. I should have thought of Colin - I’m the one he follows around, after all.” A fresh storm of sobs burst out. Well, he thought, recently it has been Ginny that Colin has been following around. I suppose that was the wrong thing to say. He tried again. “You can’t blame yourself for everything. You’re just beginning to understand your gift as a Seer, no wonder you couldn’t interpret that vision correctly. Please, Ginny, let me in. I...I want to comfort you.” As soon as he said that, he felt really silly, so he added, “Your mum told me to come up.”

 

She still didn’t say anything, and she didn’t stop crying. He didn’t know what else to do.

 

“Well, I’m going to stay right here, outside the door, if you change your mind, Ginny,” he said. “I’m here for you.”

 

He slid down the wall next to the door, and rested his head in his arms on his knees. What could he say to make her let him in? Nothing, really. There was no reason that she would want to see him right now - no reason why she would want him to be the one to comfort her. But she had turned to him downstairs, when she first heard the news. That was probably just the shock, he told himself. And her mother was sitting across the table, too far away to reach. Ginny didn’t know how wonderful it had felt to him to hold her. And that’s a good thing, he told himself. Even if...even if my reason for not telling her how I feel seems a bit silly, now. If Voldemort would go after the entire Creevey family, just because Colin followed him around with a camera, he would certainly go after Ginny, just because they were friends. Harry suspected that that wasn’t the real reason Voldemort had chosen that particular victim, though. His mind traveled back to when they first learned about the Yule Ball. “Allowing your tag-alongs to date each other, Potter?” Malfoy had asked. And then the scene at the ball. Malfoy had obviously wanted to go with Ginny - was obviously interested in Ginny, as sick has that made Harry feel. He was taking out the competition.

 

If this had been last year, Harry thought that he would have wanted to “get” Malfoy. Get back at him for whatever he had done. But how do you get back at someone for causing the death of one of your friends and his entire family? There’s just no way to do that, though it sickened Harry to think of Malfoy walking around Hogwarts, totally unscathed. Ron would probably want to use that water gun he’d given Harry for his birthday, but that seemed somehow petty and silly.

Harry put his ear to Ginny’s door. She seemed to have stopped crying, at least out loud.

 

“Ginny? I’m still here, can I come in?” he asked, not really expecting an answer. He didn’t get one, and he buried his head in his arms again, absently fingering the pendant Ginny had given him that morning. The whole thing sickened Harry, really. He had known that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were evil, of course he had. But to go after a young boy and his whole family, who had never done anything to anyone, just because the boy was a Muggle-born wizard, and a friend of Voldemort’s enemy...well, Harry just couldn’t imagine an evil that depraved. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around it, even though it had actually happened.

 

He tried to force himself to think of something else. The Death Eaters - and he hadn’t missed the fact that they had included Wormtail - hadn’t just killed the Creeveys; there had been two Aurors mentioned in the article as well. For a moment Harry’s heart leapt - what if they were Sirius and Remus? But his better sense prevailed; Mrs. Weasley would have mentioned that, and Mr. Weasley had said that he had to go to Sirius and Remus. Surely he wouldn’t have said that if they were dead. At least the fact that Aurors had been there meant that someone had thought of Colin. Ten Death Eaters had just been more than a match for two Aurors. Harry knew that more Aurors had been posted at Hermione’s house, and he suspected that Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan’s houses were heavily protected as well, since Dean was Muggle-born, and Seamus was half-blood. Probably even Neville was under surveillance - Death Eaters hated Squibs, too. But no one had really thought Colin would be the one. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Harry banged his head on his arms, repeatedly.

 

Just then, he heard footsteps on the stairs. He didn’t take his head out of his arms, because he didn’t want to face either sympathy from Bill and Charlie, or teasing from Fred and George about being outside Ginny’s room. As he expected, the footsteps stopped when they reached him. He felt a hand try to smooth down his perpetually messy hair.

 

“Have you been here the whole time, Harry?” Hermione asked. “She wouldn’t let you in?”

 

He looked up into her worried face as she knelt beside him. Ron stood behind her.

 

“No,” he said. “I tried a couple of times. She’s stopped crying though...hopefully she fell asleep.”

 

“Hmm,” Hermione said. Her eyes searched his face. “I can tell that you’re blaming yourself as much as she is, ridiculous as that is for both of you.” She straightened up. “Well, maybe you can talk some sense into him, Ron, and I’ll try to do the same with Ginny.” She opened the door and went in.

 

Harry stared after her. The door had been unlocked that whole time, and he hadn’t even tried it. Shaking his head at himself, he turned to Ron, a warning look on his face.

 

Ron shook his own head. “Don’t worry, mate. I know you’re blaming yourself, but I also know that you know that you shouldn’t. Nothing I can say will change any of that, so I know better than to try.” He lead the way up to his room, then turned back to Harry. “But you know that if you need to talk about anything - anything at all - I’m here for you.”

 

Harry stared at him, wondering what his friend really expected him to talk about. The fact that people were getting killed because of him, or the fact that he was in love with Ginny, and she didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with him. They were equally difficult conversation topics, and, not suprisingly, Harry just turned away, to find Dobby sitting on his bed.

 

“Dobby is so sorry about Harry Potter’s friend,” Dobby said, giant tears trembling in his eyes. “Dobby is hoping there is something Dobby can to do help Harry Potter, sir.”

 

Harry dropped down beside him on the bed.

 

“I don’t think there’s anything that anyone can do, Dobby,” he said.

 

Dobby’s tears actually did spill out of his eyes at that, and Harry hurriedly tried to think of something to cheer the house-elf up. If he kept on crying like that, Harry might break down, too.

 

“I think Mrs. Weasley may need even more help, though,” he said, looking at Ron for help. “It’ll be much harder for to prepare her usual Christmas feast with this hanging over...” He trailed off.

 

“Yes, and I don’t think Ginny will be up to helping her tonight,” Ron said, his eyes going to the wall closest to where Ginny’s room was.

 

Dobby’s face had brightened a bit, but at that, it darkened again.

 

“Poor Miss Ginny,” he said mournfully. “She is just miserable.”

 

“You’ve seen her - she let you into her room?” Harry asked, sitting up.

 

“Winky is there now, Harry Potter, sir.”

 

Well, at least Ginny has somebody, Harry thought, and tried not to be hurt that she had preferred a house-elf to him.

 

“Then can I count on you to help Mrs. Weasley as much as you can, Dobby?” he asked, watching in an almost morbid fascination as more huge tears collected in Dobby’s large, round eyes.

 

“Oh, yes, Harry Potter, sir! If you is sure you don’t need me, I is going right now!” After Harry shook his head again, he disappeared with a pop.

 

Neither boy said anything after that, but just having Ron in the room helped. Harry settled down on his bed next to the window, unsurpised that Hedwig was there waiting for him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ron lay down on his back on his bed, his hands behind his head. He didn’t close his eyes, just stared at the ceiling. Harry knew that Ron, like himself, was thinking back on all they knew about Colin. He reached up to take hold of Ginny’s pendant again, this time more deliberately. He felt like he could draw strength from it, and, at the same time, hoped that she might hold her own crystal and remember that she had a friend, at least, in him.

 

He felt someone’s eyes on him, and turned to see Ron watching him curiously. Reddening a little, he dropped the pendant, and reached for Ginny’s picture frame, which he had brought with him for the holidays, instead. He flipped through the pictures until he came to the one of the second task. He knew Colin had taken that one, because Ginny had told him so. Ron, after a surprised look, seemed to realize what he was doing, because he went to his trunk, pulled out a picture album, and brought it over to Harry’s bed. They sat with the picture album between them, and looked at the pictures that their friend had taken. At first, Harry tried to hold his tears back, but then Ron started crying - over a picture of Neville after he had eaten a Canary Cream, of all things - and Harry finally let go.

 

A long time later, they heard a commotion downstairs. As one, they turned and looked at each other, then rose and left the room. Hermione joined them as they passed Ginny’s door, but when Harry gave her a questioning look she shook her head.

 

“I think she needs some time alone,” she said. “She’s actually much calmer than I thought she would be - she seems almost determined about something.”

 

The three friends exchanged looks, but all of them shrugged their shoulders. Whatever Ginny was determined about, they would have to find out later. They proceeded on downstairs, to be met with lots of people talking, and a loud barking. Harry actually smiled as he pushed open the door to the living room, seeing, as he had expected, Padfoot, barking at Percy. At any other time, Harry would have laughed at the sight - Percy, after all, had no remembrance of the last time he had met Padfoot, and was trying to keep control of his dignity while a very large, very loud dog jumped and barked at him, for no reason that he could tell. Harry suspected that Sirius was letting out some of his anger and frustration over their failure to prevent the attack by behaving obnoxiously towards Percy. Remus was trying to apologize to Percy and Mrs. Weasley, but his quieter tones couldn’t be heard over Padfoot’s barking. Finally, Mrs. Weasley said that since Percy had come back from the Ministry to get ready to go to Penelope’s, he should go get ready. So, with a perfectly acceptable excuse, Percy could leave the room.

 

As soon as the door shut behind him, Sirius looked up at Mr. Weasley, his ears perked. Mr. Weasley shook his head.

 

“Not until Percy actually leaves the house, Sirius,” he said. He didn’t look terribly sorry, and though Harry wanted to talk to Sirius, he could understand why Mr. Weasley was adamant. Instead, he turned towards Remus, who sighed.

 

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Remus said, sitting down on the sofa and indicating that Harry should sit next to him. When he did, Sirius put his head on his knee and looked up at him sorrowfully. “We just didn’t expect it to be Colin. We’d thought of everyone else, even Justin Finch-Fletchley and Brenna O’Keefe, and we did have two Aurors at the Creeveys’. Good men, too. They’ll be missed.”

 

Harry bowed his head, thinking of the Creeveys and the two Aurors. He was confused about one thing, though. “I didn’t know Brenna was Muggle-born. Actually, I had thought...” he trailed off. He really hadn’t talked to Brenna much, and, as far as he remembered, she hadn’t mentioned her family at all.

 

“All of Brenna’s family are Squibs, except for her,” George said from where he sat with Fred on the hearthrug. “And you know how Voldemort feels about Squibs.”

 

“Is she all right?” Hermione asked.

 

“She’s fine,” Remus said. “Everyone else is, too.”

 

“Were any of the Death Eaters caught?” Ron asked. “Wormtail?”

 

Sirius growled at the mention of Wormtail, but Remus shook his head.

 

“All of the Aurors on surveillance had modified Portkeys to activate at the first sign of trouble. Instead of transporting them away, they set off a signal, telling us of the attack. But by the time we got there, everything was basically over. The Death Eaters were Apparating when we got there, and we had enough to do rounding up all the Muggles and giving them Memory Charms to try to pursue. Wormtail was the one who sent the Dark Mark into the air, just before he Apparated, we did see that.” Remus had been looking down at Sirius while he talked, but now he raised his head, and looked Harry in the eye. “Harry, you know that we tried our best to protect all of your friends. We knew this attack would come, and it was our most grievous error that we failed to prevent it. This was our fault, not yours. There was nothing you could have done, neither you nor Ginny. We were able to narrow the number of people we had to watch down, because of her vision. She - where is Ginny, by the way?”

 

“She’s in her room,” Hermione said. “She’s taking this hard, of course, and I think she needed some time alone.”

 

Remus shook his head. “She shouldn’t be blaming herself for this. As I said, this is our fault -” He broke off as Percy reentered the room.

 

“Mum, Dad, I’m off to Penelope’s,” he said. “Professor, it was very nice to see you again, albeit in such tragic circumstances.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Fred try to suppress a snort of laughter. He supposed that he should be laughing, too - Percy at his most pompous was always funny - but he felt as though all the laughter had been sucked out of him. No matter what anyone said, no matter what he tried to tell himself, Colin and his family had been killed because he was Harry’s friend, and for no other reason. He would just have to learn to live with that, somehow, because he had a feeling that it would happen again and again, until they finally defeated Voldemort.

 

After Percy left, Sirius transformed with a pop, and swept Harry up into a hug. Harry blinked away tears, which was even more difficult because he could see Fred and George just watching him soberly, not a trace of a joke or a grin between them. He was vaguely aware of Mrs. Weasley shooing everyone except him, Sirius, and Remus out of the room, which Harry was grateful for. If he did break down again, he didn’t want it to be in front of the entire Weasley clan.

 

When Sirius pulled out of the hug, he held Harry at arm’s length and inspected him carefully. “How are you holding up, Harry?” he asked.

 

“And how is Ginny doing? Have you talked to her? Should she really be alone?” Remus added.

 

“I’m doing as well as expected, I suppose,” Harry said. “Ginny...well, she wouldn’t let me in to talk to her, but she did talk to Hermione. She would have a better idea, if you want to ask her.”

 

“In a minute,” Sirius said. “You’re our primary worry, Harry. You really mustn’t blame yourself -”

 

“And how am I not to do that?” Harry asked, jumping up and striding around the room. “A whole family has died - because of me. You’ve all had your Christmas ruined - because of me. Many, many people live in fear every day - because of me! Tell me how I’m not to blame myself?”

 

Sirius looked devastated, but Remus spoke up in his calm, quiet voice.

 

“People live in fear every day, but not because of you, Harry. Because of Voldemort. He’s the one who ordered the Creeveys killed, not you. I know it’s hard, but you have to believe that. It’s the truth, and to think otherwise is to devalue the evil we’re all facing.”

 

Harry hadn’t thought about it that way before. It did make sense, of course - not a lot of what Remus ever said didn’t make sense - but he knew it would be some time before he could really believe it.

 

While he was wrapped up in his thoughts, he noticed Sirius give Remus a questioning look, and Remus give him a resigned nod back.

 

“And if anyone’s ruined Christmas, it’s Voldemort,” Sirius said. “But he hasn’t, I hope. Or that really would be letting him win.”

 

Harry’s hand went up to grip his pendant again - he didn’t think he could have prevented it if he’d tried. His eyes were drawn to the Weasley family clock, too, where his own hand still sat on “home.”

 

Sirius and Remus smiled at each other. “We have a Christmas present for you, too.” Sirius said.

 

Harry physically recoiled from him. How could Sirius think he wanted to receive a Christmas present right now, after everything that had happened? Remus put out a hand to him.

 

“This isn’t an ordinary Christmas present, Harry,” he said, pulling a package out of his robes. “It was your father’s.”

 

Harry reached for the package, still not sure that this was the best time. He opened it, and pulled out a pocket watch. It was rather large, and carved in a pattern of Quidditch balls, but he couldn’t see what was so special about it that it had to be given to him right then.

 

“Open it,” Sirius said, leaning forward.

 

When Harry did, he saw that the face was quite blank. He looked up at Sirius in confusion.

 

“This is no ordinary pocket watch, Harry. Lily, Toby, and I made it for James. I did the mechanical work, Lily put more charms than you could possibly imagine into it, and Toby...well, she did something to do with Divination, but she knew I wouldn’t understand if she’d explained it, so she didn’t. We were going to give it to James for his next birthday, but...” He trailed off for a moment. “So, instead we’re giving it to you. Hold it in your hand, and Remus will put the final charm on it to link it to you, so that it only works when you’re holding it.”

 

Harry did so, much more interested now. He was holding something that his mother had helped make for his father, along with both of their best friends. Remus murmured a charm, and suddenly words appeared on the face of the watch, curling in an ornate script.

 

“Home, but unhappy,” it said, and Harry almost dropped it.

 

“How...how did it know?” he asked. It was the second magical clock that indicated that he thought of the Burrow as home, not that he really needed to be told that. He certainly didn’t think of the Dursleys’ that way.

 

“Well, I don’t know if anyone has ever told you, Harry, but Lily was a genius at Charms, pure and simple. And Toby’s a true Seer, of course. The two of them together did some amazing things. That watch doesn’t read your mind, of course, but it does sense your emotions, at least at the most basic level. The really strong emotions come through the best,” Sirius said, looking down at the words on the face of the watch, his shoulders slumped.

 

“Expect the unexpected, Harry, that’s all I can tell you,” Remus added. “And don’t think you can hide from it...it will tell you things you might not want to admit to yourself, and definitely not to anyone else.” Harry looked up quickly into Remus’ eyes, which seemed to shine with understanding. Harry resolved not to open the watch anywhere near Ginny, at least not where anyone else could see it.

 

“One more thing, Harry,” Sirius said. “This watch can be used to send messages. Not long ones, obviously, and only if the person sending it knows the charm. Remus and I know it, and Toby, but no one else. I think we should keep it that way.”

 

Harry nodded, though he thought it would be fun if Ron and Hermione knew it, too. He understood why Sirius wanted to keep it secret, though; it could be very useful, but only if it was uncompromised. Before he could say anything else, the door burst open, and Hermione dashed through.

 

“Oh, Harry, come quick,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “I think Ginny’s having a vision, and I don’t know what to do!”