Just Plain Harry

Chapter 18 True Gryffindors

Harry sat in his last class of the term, watching his classmates struggle, and smirking a little. He knew he shouldn't - they were all having so much trouble, but he couldn't help it. It was Potions, and everyone except him was in the grip of Snape's Fear Potion. To Harry's surprise, and certainly to Snape's, he had had no problem brewing the antidote to the potion while under its effects, and he wished Ginny had been here to see it. He suspected that she would have had a similar ease with the task - they both certainly had experience living with fear and continuing with whatever they had to do. He had no idea what it must have been like for Ginny during her first year, constantly being afraid of herself, feeling that the only person that she could turn to was the one controlling her, and somehow managing to get on with her everyday life. Hermione had told him that Ginny's grades had been the best in her year that year, too. Every new thing Harry heard about Ginny impressed him more than the last.

He was a little surprised that Ron and Hermione were having such trouble, though. They've certainly lived with fear, he thought. If not for themselves, then for me, according to Hermione. And back in our first year, with the Sorcerer's Stone, they managed to do what they had to do, even though they must have been terrified. I was. Of course, we were all much younger then, and maybe, deep down, they didn't take it quite as seriously. Now, we all know exactly what's at risk.

The rest of the class was even worse off. Lavender Brown had had to sit down at her desk for about five minutes, her head in her hands, before she could get up and work on her antidote. Seamus Finnigan had taken one look at her and, after a deep breath, resolutely turned his back to get to work on his. Luckily, she didn't see that. Millicent Bulstrode actually fled the room, and Snape had just watched her go, his usual sneer on his face. And almost everyone was drenched in sweat. There were only two other people in the class who were doing at all well with the antidote, and both of them surprised Harry. Draco Malfoy was almost done, his eyes focused with blind intensity on his caldron. He didn't look at Snape, who stood close by him almost protectively, but Harry felt that he knew he was there. And as Harry watched, Neville Longbottom dipped his bone ladle into his caldron and poured his antidote into a cup, his hands trembling. Neville didn't look quite convinced that he'd done everything right, but Harry wasn't at all surprised that the antidote worked perfectly. He smiled at Neville when he looked around with a wondrous look on his face, and Neville made his way over to Harry and collapsed into a chair next to him.

"I can't believe I just did that," he said, wiping sweat off of his forehead. "I mean, I'm not surprised that you did fine, and Draco," he nodded at Malfoy, who was just measuring out his dose, "must have been taught to deal with fear, but I'm always so afraid..." His voice trailed off.

"Bravery means living with fear and carrying on anyway, not never being afraid," Harry said, then grinned. "I got that out of a book, I think, but don't tell Hermione." Neville gave a little, halfhearted snort of laughter, so Harry said what he really wanted to. "You're a true Gryffindor, Neville." He looked away so he wouldn't have to admit to seeing Neville's tears.

Snape was watching them. Harry was surprised to see the impressed look on his face - not surprised that Snape was impressed with Neville, but that he would let Harry see it. Then Malfoy looked up, no longer under the influence of the potion, and his eyes narrowed when he saw that Harry and Neville had both beaten his time. He didn't say anything, though, just collapsed into his own seat. Snape made sure he was all right, then stalked towards them.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Longbottom?" he asked.

Neville nodded and smiled weakly, looking more afraid right then than he had under the influence of the potion.

Snape leaned forward and murmured quietly, "That was most impressive, Mr. Longbottom, and quite gratifying." He immediately straightened up and went back to supervising the rest of the class.

Harry and Neville stared at each other.

"What did he mean, gratifying?" Neville asked.

"I have no idea," Harry said. He watched Snape as he patrolled the classroom, offering neither criticism nor encouragement to the students. He suspected that he would never truly understand his Potions master.

After another few minutes, during which Harry watched both Ron and Hermione make quite a bit of progress, Snape suddenly turned on him.

"Potter! In my office, now," he said, stalking over to the door of his office and sweeping it open.

Harry just stared at him. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to have done. It wasn't as though he could have actually helped anyone, and Snape would have been able to hear him, anyway. He had no choice, though, so, ignoring Neville's slight whimper, he followed his teacher into his office.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Snape stalked over to the mantlepiece, reached into a jar for some powder, and threw it into the fire.

"Sirius Black," he snarled. Harry stared at him in wonderment, then grinned as he saw his godfather's head appear in the flames. But his good mood vanished when he saw the look on Sirius' face.

"What's happened?" he said, reaching the fireplace in two steps and throwing himself down on his knees, so his face was more on level with Sirius'. "It's not...it's not Professor Lupin, is it?"

Sirius gave him a small, tight smile. "No, no, Remus is fine. In fact, nothing has happened yet."

"Yet. You think it will?"

"We have reason to believe that Voldemort is planning an attack," Sirius said, his voice sounding oddly formal. "Our sources indicate that it will most likely be on Christmas."

Christmas. Oh, Harry knew that it was the most likely day - Ron's analysis had been spot on, and he believed it - but it was still a horrible thought. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and looked Sirius in the eye.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No!" Sirius said, his face softening, and his voice losing the formality. "Harry, I'm telling you precisely because there's nothing you can do. We didn't want you to hear something - some rumor - and go off in your harebrained way." He grinned to take the sting out of that statement. "You are going to the Weasleys' for Christmas, and that's the safest place for you, even with everybody knowing you'll be there." His eyes slid to where Snape stood near his desk for a moment, then back to Harry. "We have things well in hand. You're to enjoy yourself, and not think of these things."

Harry just stared at him. He hadn't known his godfather very long, but surely Sirius knew him better than that. Of course he would think of these things - how could he not? But before he could protest, Sirius spoke again.

"Thank you for the use of your office, Snape," he said, not looking at the Potions Master. "I have to go, Harry, but I may see you sooner than you think." With a last, warm smile, he was gone.

Harry sat back on his knees and tried to take it all in. There was most likely going to be an attack on Christmas, and Sirius had made sure to tell him of it, because he didn't trust Harry to be...well, to be mature about it. He knew that there was nothing he could do right now. He knew it, but it didn't make him happy.

"Potter, we should be getting back to your classmates. I shudder to think of what's going on out there. Of course, Black would demand to meet with you during my class time."

Harry stood up. "Thank you for letting me talk to him here," he said, trying to make himself meet Snape's gaze. He knew he should treat Snape with more respect, but it was hard to ignore the hatred in his voice whenever he spoke of Sirius.

Snape didn't seem to notice, though, he just turned away from Harry, and opened the door to the classroom. Harry saw him actually shudder before he walked through. He rushed to the door himself, expecting something horrible, but everything was fine. Ron and Hermione had finished, and were sitting very near to each other, as though drawing strength from being close. Most of the rest of the class were also done, but luckily, none of them seemed to remark on Harry's having been in Snape's office.

Ron and Hermione, of course, wanted to hear all about it, but they waited until lunch, when Ginny was there, too. After Harry explained, all four of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Ron broke it.

"It's a shame," he said, staring at his plate. "I mean, you've never had a wizard Christmas before, Harry, and now you can, and this happens."

"Yeah," Harry said. "But then, that's about normal for me, isn't it?"

Ginny lifted her eyes from her plate and fixed them intently on Harry. "You can't think of it like that," she said, almost biting off the words. "If you do, you're letting Voldemort win. Remember what Professor Moody said - live a normal life because you can. You have to enjoy this Christmas, Harry, you just have to."

Harry couldn't hold her gaze. "I'd like to, Ginny," he said, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I'll try."
Hermione reached over and rested her hand on Harry's for a moment in sympathy, but then she seemed to think that that was enough seriousness for right then.

"I do hope Fleur's exam won't take very long," she said, glancing back down at her Care of Magical Creatures notes, which were spread out before her plate. "I need lots of time to get ready for the ball tonight."

Ginny gave a watery giggle, but Harry almost gasped. "You're not still thinking of going to the ball, are you?"

Hermione and Ginny both stared at him.

"Why shouldn't I?" Hermione asked.

"Because Voldemort's going to attack! We know it now, and we know when - how can you think of celebrating, and dancing, and having a good time, when..." He trailed off, not wanting to remind Hermione of the constant danger to her parents.

"Harry, there's nothing we can do about the attack," Hermione said, her face serious as she looked into his eyes. "All we can do is try to put it out of our minds and get on with our lives. Sirius and Remus, not to mention Professor Dumbledore, are doing their best to outwit Voldemort." She gave an apologetic look at Ron, but he didn't seem to notice that's she'd said the name. He didn't seem to notice much of anything, actually, he was just staring at her. "There's nothing we can do from here, and everyone needs a break from tension, Harry, even you."
"It's like Christmas, Harry," Ginny said. "If we don't have the ball, and don't do our best to enjoy ourselves, it's letting Voldemort win. And we can't do that, can we?"

Harry shook his head, but he couldn't hold her gaze. He could understand their point, but he knew that he wouldn't be in any sort of mood to dance this evening. He looked over to Ron to see what he thought, but Ron was still a conversation behind.

"You need hours to get ready?" he asked Hermione, his ears turning pink.

Hermione appeared to be looking for a particular fact in her notes. "Of course. I did last year, too, remember? It's this hair." She reached up and pulled on a curl.

Ron made a peculiar sound. "Yeah, but that was for Vick - Viktor Krum," he said, not taking her eyes off of Hermione.

She lifted her own to meet his gaze. "Was it?" she asked, then looked back down at her notes, a smile lifting one corner of her mouth.

Ron was utterly speechless, and so was Harry. Ginny looked extremely pleased, but she took pity on her brother.

"Speaking of the ball," she said, "Bill's coming as Fleur's date. She told me in class this morning."

"What?" Ron's head snapped towards his sister. "They must be getting serious."
"I think they are," Ginny said, looking over to the head table, where Fleur was talking to Professor McGonagall. "It seems so unfair..." She said the last sentence under her breath, but Harry heard.

"What's unfair?" he asked.

"What? Oh, it's just that she's...so beautiful," Ginny said, her cheeks turning pink.

Harry opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. He didn't know if he should say something, or if that would compromise his secret, but he couldn't let that go.

"You don't have anything to worry about, Ginny," he said, slightly more forcefully than he meant to. When Ron and Hermione turned to stare at him, he added, "I'm sure Colin would love to tell you so, too."
Ginny's eyes had filled with wonder at his first statement, but she looked away and blushed at his second. Still, when she left to go to her own Potions final, she murmured, "Thanks, Harry," in his ear, so Harry couldn't be sorry he had said it.

That night, Harry got ready as quickly as he could, mostly because he didn't want to go to the ball in the first place, and he still didn't feel like celebrating anything. And it was partly to get rid of Dobby, whose comments ("Harry Potter will be the most handsome wizard at the ball! Harry Potter will have young witches falling all over him!") were quite embarrassing, though they practically caused Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville to roll on the floor with laughter. It was also partly because he was just going to the ball with a friend, and didn't really care what he looked like. But in addition, it was because he wanted to watch his friends get ready. They were all nervous, though to varying degrees - ranging from Dean's "I really hope she's gotten over her cold, or neither one of us will have fun," to Ron's "Harry, you're just going to have to tell her I'm sick. No, I died. I just can't do this."
Neville, though he was apprehensive, actually seemed the happiest. He had had a quiet crush on Hannah Abbot from Hufflepuff for most of the term, to Ron's great happiness, as it meant that he was no longer interested in either Hermione or Ginny. The two of them had been spending a lot of time in the library discussing Herbology, and they had met up in Hogsmeade the previous weekend for a bit, but this was their first official date. He didn't talk much, but his happiness almost seemed to make him glow.

Seamus, who should have been the least nervous about his date with Lavender, was actually quite pale, and he kept checking on something in his pocket. Harry didn't know what that was about, but every time Seamus did it, Dean looked at him and shook his head. Surely everything is all right between him and Lavender, Harry thought. They sure looked comfortable at the Leaky Cauldron last weekend.

Dean didn't look too nervous, though he did smooth down his dark orange robes a couple of times too often. Harry thought that those robes would look rather odd next to Susan Bones' bright red hair, but then, they would have looked even stranger with Ginny's darker red. Harry was glad he didn't have to worry about that.

Watching his friends, Harry couldn't help feeling slightly lonely. None of them, except Ron, knew what he knew, and none of them felt the almost bone-crushing responsibility he felt. He knew that people like Sirius and Ginny would tell him that he shouldn't feel that responsibility, but he did, and it made him even more glad that he was just going to the ball with a friend. He didn't feel up to much tonight, and Cho's mood would probably match his perfectly. Ginny was right, though - everyone needed to relax sometimes, and he enjoyed watching it, even if he couldn't join in.

Ron was so pale that his freckles looked almost black. The dark blue robes he had picked out looked distinguished, but the look on his face was almost sheer misery. Harry was trying really hard not to laugh at his best friend. Imagine if you were preparing for your first date with Ginny, he told himself sternly, and a bit wistfully. Your face would probably match your robes right about now. In order to hide his blush at that thought, he got up from his vantage point on his bed, and went over to Ron.

"So, you ready to head down now?" he asked, as Ron ran his fingers through his hair and surveyed the result in the mirror yet again.

"Erm, not quite," Ron said. He glanced over at the rest of the boys, but they were all busy with their own preparations. Then, he took out his wand, and reached for a stick of wood that was lying on his bedside table. A few muttered words later, and he was holding three stalks of forget-me-nots.

"They should look good with her robes," he said, blushing and not looking at Harry.

Trying not to stare, Harry followed him down the stairs to the common room. When they got there, neither Hermione nor Ginny was down yet, though Lavender and Parvati were, Lavender tapping one foot impatiently, Parvati looking amused. Her smile broadened when she saw Ron and his flowers.

"Hermione and Ginny will be down in a few minutes," she told them, which surprised Harry, since he wasn't Ginny's date. Looking around, he spotted Colin talking to some other fourth-year boys, looking much too relaxed for Harry's taste. Seamus, Dean, and Neville came down the stairs behind them, and, after Lavender attached herself to Seamus' side, all five of them went out the portrait hole. Harry was torn between thinking he should follow them, since Cho was probably already waiting for him, and he knew he shouldn't want to watch Ron and Hermione's meeting as much as he did, and wanting to be one of the first to see Ginny when she made her appearance. His better self won out.

"I should get down to the entrance hall, Cho's probably waiting for me," he said to Ron.

"No! You have to be here when...what if she doesn't come down?" Ron said, wide-eyed.

A loud bray of laughter came from behind them. Ron didn't take his eyes off of the girls' staircase, but Harry turned around to see Fred, George, and Lee Jordan coming from the boys' dormitories. George dug an elbow into both Fred and Lee, who were still laughing, but he did grin at Ron's hopeful expression. The grin still didn't look quite right, but it was much closer, and Harry had to close his eyes against the sight of the twins in their electric blue robes. Lee didn't help, either - he was in canary yellow.

"What did you boys do, plan this so that you can find each other in a dark alley?" Alicia Spinnet said, as she came down the girls' staircase. Harry opened his eyes to see Ron straining to see around Alicia, Angelina, and Katie as they joined the boys. Fred handed Angelina a red rose, which made both Alicia and Katie take a couple of steps away from her. Angelina, though, held the rose up to her neck, so that when the perfume sprayed out of it, it went where she wanted it to. She grinned, and linked her arm through Fred's.

"You even got the right scent," she said, patting him on the head. "Well done."

Fred actually blushed, and whispered something in her ear, while George and Lee both shook their heads.

"We knew it would happen," Lee said.

"He fell, and fell hard," George added, looking mournful. "He'll never be the same again."

Alicia walked over to Lee and punched him in the arm. "You could learn a few tricks from him, you know."

Lee looked immensely shocked. "I thought you didn't want me to act like the Weasley twins!" he said, trying to maintain a straight face, but dissolving into laughter as Alicia realized what she had said.

George watched the two couples, his grin melting off his face.

"Hey," Katie said, linking her arm with his and smiling up at him. "Walk me down?"

George looked down at her and smiled. As they climbed out of the portrait hole, Harry thought he heard him say, "Thanks for everything, Katie."
Harry turned back to Ron just as Ron covered his face with his hands.

"That's it. She's not coming down. I suppose I'll just go back up to the dormitory, then. Have fun at the ball, Harry.

"Of course she's coming down, you prat!" Harry said. Of all the people who would have fun at the ball, he knew he wouldn't be one of them. And he knew that Hermione wouldn't miss this, not even to study for the O.W.L.s. "She -" But he was interrupted by the sight of feet coming down the girls' dormitory steps.

Harry and Ron both watched as Hermione descended. Her hair was up again, like last year, and her robes seemed to float around her as she walked. Her eyes were bright, and, it seemed to Harry, locked on Ron's. Harry glanced at his friend to see what he thought.

"Wow," Ron breathed, so softly that Harry wasn't sure that Hermione could hear him. "You look...wow." Hermione blushed slightly, so she must have heard. Ron took a step towards her, and shyly held out the forget-me-nots. "These are for you." He seemed to be having a hard time looking her in the eye.

Hermione's face lit up when she saw the flowers; Harry had never seen her look so happy.

"Thanks, Ron," was all that she said. She tucked the flowers into several places in her hair, and turned to Ginny to ask if they looked all right. Harry had known that Ginny had followed Hermione down, but he hadn't let his eyes seek her out, like they wanted to. Now, he could look at her safely, while she was busy with Hermione. The soft blue robes looked wonderful on her, making her skin look creamy, her eyes even deeper than usual, and her hair, part of which was in a knot on top of her head, while the rest spilled over her shoulders, bright and warm. But Harry couldn't help thinking that they didn't capture her personality, her soul. It was just too insipid a color for a person as vibrant as Ginny.

Colin evidently didn't think so, as he stepped forward to claim his date. Harry had to look away as she turned towards him, smiling. That wasn't something he could have, and he knew it, but that didn't mean he wanted to watch. Instead, he looked back to Ron and Hermione, who were standing very close to each other, but they weren't speaking - at least not out loud. Harry cleared his throat pointedly, which caused Hermione to blush and Ron to look around, slightly annoyed. Harry almost laughed in his face; Ron had insisted that he stay with him, but now he was in the way. They all climbed through the portrait hole and made their way down to the entrance hall, Harry trailing behind the two couples.

Before they got there, they passed Professor McGonagall.

"There you are, Harry," she said. "Professor Dumbledore asked me to check on you, he seemed -" She broke off as she noticed that Colin was there. "Well, he asked me to check on you.

Harry knew what she was going to say, though. Everyone seemed to think that he couldn't handle the stress of knowing that there was going to be an attack. Well, he could.

"I'm fine, Professor McGonagall," he said, meeting her eyes steadily. "I do need to get down to my date, though."

"Oh, yes, of course," she said, looking slightly flustered. "Enjoy yourselves tonight, all of you."

Harry noticed Ginny looking at him. See, her look seemed to say. Even the teachers know we need to relax sometimes. Harry knew she was right, but he looked away. He knew that he wouldn't have fun tonight, and that he would hate balls forever.