Ginny Weasley, In Her Own Words

GWIHOW

November 24

Joanna, Harry is...

What?

He´s...

Hurt? Sick? Kidnapped? In detention with Snape?

Gorgeous.

Ginny! You really frightened me!

I´m sorry, Joanna, but he really is. I can put it out of my mind most of the time, but sometimes...today, I was sitting on a bench by the lake, and he was standing in front of me, and the sun was setting, and he just seemed to be lit from within. His eyes were shining, and...Joanna, I know that most people see Harry as a short, scrawny boy, but to me he´s Harry, and that makes him beautiful.

I know. Oh, Ginny, I know how that feels. I remember... But why was Harry standing in front of you like that?

Oh. Well...oh, goodness, Joanna, I have a lot to tell you.

Well, start at the beginning, but first, tell me - did anything happen?

No! I just...enjoyed looking.

There´s nothing wrong with that. All right, Ginny, start writing.

Okay. Remember how I told you that Miss Stuart was so desperate to help Harry and me to have visions that she was trying all sorts of strange things?

That´s why I thought Harry might have had a detention with Snape.

Ha. No, this time she decided to try hunger.

Hunger? You mean, you fasted from sunup to sundown, or something like that?

No, thank goodness! We just skipped dinner, and went to Miss Stuart´s room instead. I was starving, let me tell you. I´d just had a very tiring Herbology lesson - we were wrestling Python Blossoms the whole time. Hermione says you´re not supposed to wrestle them, but I don´t see how else to extract the pollen! Anyway, my arms were tired, I was hungry, and, even though I knew I didn´t, I felt like I had purple pollen all in my hair.

Not exactly conditions conducive for a vision.

You wouldn´t think so, would you? And besides all that, Harry was staring at me.

He was, was he?

Yes, but not like that. He´s counting on me to have the vision, I know he is. Not that I blame him, really - his visions are certain to have Voldemort in them, after all. But at any rate, he was watching me, and I was trying to ignore him, while acting like I didn´t know he was watching me, if you know what I mean.

Oh, yes. I remember that quite well.

Well, I wasn´t really paying attention to my crystal ball, just catching the firelight flickering in it out of the corner of my eye, and then...and then, I saw the Dark Mark, floating above a house. I didn´t recognize it, but it was definitely a Muggle house - and not the Longs´, or Hermione´s. She´s shown me pictures. But I didn´t have a chance to absorb details right then, because the scene shifted to another house, and then another, and then another, all with the Dark Mark hanging above them. It was...horrible to see, Joanna.

Oh,

breila, I´m sure it was.

In all the shifting, the scene kept coming back to that first house, but I still couldn´t really tell anything more about it. Except...for some reason, it made me think of white. I have no idea why. Harry thought it was because of the snow - there was snow on the ground all around the house - but it was a different white.

Harry thought?

Yes, well, after I awoke from the vision, I had to describe it to him and Miss Stuart. I´m really not certain I want to be a Seer, Joanna, if it means having to relive my visions forever and ever.

But if your visions can help people...

Oh, I know. Not that this one seems to be of much help - I mean, it´s not exactly news that Voldemort is targeting Muggles or Muggle-born wizards. Putting that together with Harry´s vision from the summer that Voldemort is going after people close to him narrows it down a bit, but then, what if he changed his mind? What if this is just a random Muggle´s house? There´s just no way to watch over every Muggle in Britain.

There must have been some clues in your vision, Ginny. Catrin told me that there always are, even if you can only manage to interpret them after the fact.

Did she ever have a vision with white in it? Because that´s all the detail that I noticed.

I don´t remember her mentioning anything like that.

Well, we couldn´t come up with anything right then, either. I´ll have to do some research in the library.

I´m sure Hermione will love to help you.

I´m not. She thinks Divination is utterly useless.

Yes, but it´s the library. And Hermione.

Good point.

Anyway, Ginny, you haven´t mentioned anything about the bench by the lake - when did that happen?

Well, after Miss Stuart had extracted the last bit of information she could from me, she sent me outside. She said that taking a walk would help clear my mind of the vision, and let me tell you, I wanted it cleared. I kept seeing the Dark Mark over house after house...

Oh,

breila.

Anyway, Harry, followed me - probably to make sure I didn´t do something stupid like jump in the lake - but he practically had to run to keep up with me. I could hear him puffing. I headed straight out to my favorite bench, right near the shore of the lake, but when we reached it, Cho Chang was already there, just sitting there, crying. I´ve noticed Cho a lot this year, Joanna, and she´s always looked sad. It´s not like she walks through the halls in tears - she had good reasons to cry both at the Welcoming Feast and tonight - but...well, she´s just different this year. A lot of girls were sorted into Ravenclaw her year, for some reason, and last year, Cho was always at the center of the group. No surprise there, really - she´s pretty, and very nice, and smart, of course.

It sounds as though you watched her quite a bit, Ginny.

Well...Harry did. So I did. Harry has good taste, at least. Cho´s eminently worthy of his crush. Anyway, she was always happy last year, even when stressing about the O.W.L.s or losing at Quidditch. Always the center of attention, and happy to be there. But this year, she´s been with her group, but not part of it. I´ve seen her friends nudging her to wake her up at meals, and sometimes almost having to lead her through the halls to their classes. I don´t think I´ve seen her smile all year. Of course, I only see her at meals and in the halls.

Oh, the poor girl. I hope she has someone to talk to about everything.

I know. She wouldn´t really talk to us, not that I expected her to. Harry and I are both younger than she is, and she can´t possibly have been unaware of Harry´s crush on her last year, or how I feel about Harry. So that would make it all awkward, and then, she evidently thought that Harry didn´t care at all about Cedric.

Ginny, she couldn´t possibly think that.

Oh, but she could. And did. When we reached the bench, she was just sitting there, looking out over the lake, with silent tears running down her cheeks. And she´s one of those highly annoying girls who can cry and still look beautiful. If I were crying as hard as she was, my nose would be red, my face would be blotchy, and my eyes would be all swollen. Not Cho - she still looked splendid.

That

is unfair.

Yes, but as Mum always says, life isn´t fair. Anyway, I didn´t really think about all of this right then - I´m just boiling about it now - I felt so badly for her that that´s all I thought about. I sat down next to her, and tried to comfort her, but then she started in on Harry! She asked him how he could live with himself day after day, knowing how many people died for him.

But how horrible, Ginny! Why ever would she say that?

She is hurting, and she lashed out. It´s five months to the day since Cedric died, and from what she said, her friends aren´t being very understanding with her mourning. Harry was there, and it´s certainly understandable that she would blame him. He´s the one who suggested to Cedric that they both take the Cup, and he hasn´t been secretive about it, so I´m sure she´s heard it. If he hadn´t, Cedric wouldn´t have died. Q.E.D. The same with his mother. Voldemort wouldn´t have killed Lily Potter if she hadn´t tried to protect Harry.

But Ginny, Harry can´t think that way. It´s unhealthy. Not to mention untrue.

But it is true, Joanna. Oh, I´m not saying it´s Harry´s fault. His mother made that decision herself - she could have stood aside - and Harry had nothing to do with it. The same with Cedric. But there was causality there, and Harry has to learn how to live with that. It was the same with me and Tom Riddle´s diary. None of the attacks were `my fault,´ because Tom was controlling me. But if I hadn´t written in that diary, he wouldn´t have been able to control me, and no one would have been attacked. And it´s much more `my fault´ than it´s Harry´s fault. After all, I chose to write in that diary, and he certainly didn´t choose to be The Boy Who Lived.

So, you´re going to help him work through all this?

Well, I would if he´d let me, but I doubt he will. Anyway, the only thing I could do right then was to answer Cho. Harry certainly couldn´t have done it. He just stood there, staring at her, his mouth slightly open (looking adorable, by the way). But I knew that this would only make him feel worse about everything, unless someone brought up the opposite viewpoint. And I was the only one there to do it.

What did you do, exactly?

Oh, just told her that Harry does think about all the people who have died for him - more than is good for him, truthfully - and that he does have to live with the knowledge. I asked her to imagine what it was like to be Harry, who´s lost all those people. She´s only lost Cedric, and she´s not likely to lose anyone else. Harry, on the other hand...

You didn´t say that, did you?

No, but I almost did. I became a bit carried away. I don´t think Harry minded - he looked more shocked than upset.

That´s good.

Yes. I don´t want to burden him anymore than he already is. Anyway, Cho´s reaction to my little speech wasn´t at all what I expected, and was actually quite funny, now that I think about it. She did a complete turn around, apologized to Harry, and burst into tears with her head on my shoulder.

You´re right, Ginny, that is odd.

I felt so badly for her that all I was thinking about then was trying to comfort her, but I´m really starting to worry about her. She...doesn´t seem rational right now, if you know what I mean.

I agree. Is there an adult you could talk to about her?

Well, her head of house is Professor Flitwick, my Charms teacher. I suppose I could say something to him, though it would feel awkward.

Does that matter if Cho needs help?

You´re right, Joanna. I´ll talk to him, I promise.

Thank you, Ginny. I´m definitely worried about her; she sounds almost clincally depressed.

Joanna, what do you know about clinical depression?

More than I want to - the person who owned me last battled it for much of her life.

Oh, Joanna, how horrible.

Yes, it was. Which is why I really want you to help Cho.

I will, I promise. Joanna, I have lots more to tell you (why does everything seem to happen all at once?), but I´m really tired. I´ll finish the story tomorrow in History of Magic.

Ginny, you really shouldn´t write in me during class

.

Well, it´s either sleep now and write then, or write now and sleep in class. Which would you prefer?

Oh, go to sleep, Ginny.

Good night, Joanna.

GWIHOW

November 25

Guess where I am, Joanna.

I´m quite certain you´re in your History of Magic class, I don´t have to guess.

Right you are!

I know you won´t listen to me, but you really should be paying attention to your teacher, Ginny.

Why? All he ever does is read from the book, and I can do that myself. It´s amazing how much more boring the book is when Binns reads it.

Even so.

Oh, so you don´t want to hear what happened with Cho last night? All right, Joanna, I´ll have to tell you later, but I don´t know when that will be, since I´m so bus-

Ginny.

Yes?

Have you been taking lessons from your brothers?

I don´t need to - everything I need to know about teasing, I learned a long time ago. So, you would like to hear about last night?

Of course I do. As long as you first promise me that you´ll study this lesson tonight, to make up for it.

I promise. Okay, so the last thing I told you about was Cho crying on my shoulder. Well, I didn´t really know how to comfort her - I just sat there patting her arm and saying silly, trite things - and Harry really had no idea. He just stood there, with the sun behind him, looking absolutely gorgeous. Really, Joanna, I just don´t know what I´ll do if he never notices me. It was hard enough watching him crush on Cho last year, but she didn´t return his feelings, so it wasn´t too horrible. But to have to watch him actually with some girl - maybe holding hands in the halls, or sitting together in the common room - well, I´m not sure I can handle it.

I´m sure that you can, Ginny. I hope you won´t have to, but if you do, I know you´ll handle it with grace and maturity.

I don´t know, maybe I´ll turn all jealous and spiteful.

You´re teasing again, Ginny, aren´t you?

A little. I could see it happening, though, so we´ll just have to guard against it.

Well, hopefully we won´t have to deal with it. I meant to ask you, how did Harry react to your defense of him?

Mostly he just looked shocked. Shocked by what Cho was saying, but also shocked at me. I think he seemed grateful, too, but that could just be wishful thinking.

He should have been grateful! Standing up to Cho like that took a lot of courage, Ginny. I´m very proud of you.

Oh, Joanna. It had to be said, so I said it. Harry obviously wasn´t going to, and he needed for it to be said. My feelings didn´t matter in this case.

Many girls your age wouldn´t have been able to see that.

Joanna, you´re making me blush, and Colin is looking at me strangely, so you should stop. Anyway, there I was, with no idea how to comfort Cho, when suddenly, Harry´s stomach let out the loudest growl I´ve ever heard in my entire life. And I´ve heard some amazing ones from Fred!

Ginny, you´re not serious.

Oh, yes I am. I was so surprised at first, that I just stared at him, but then I couldn´t help it - I laughed. I felt horrible, laughing while Cho was still crying, but she actually smiled, so it was a good thing.

Sounds like a tension-breaker was needed.

Yes. So then I suggested that we all go to the kitchens to have dinner, since Cho hadn´t eaten yet, either. She didn´t seem at all eager, but Harry actually said that, though he hadn´t known Cedric all that well, he thought that he wouldn´t want Cho to dwell on him so much. I couldn´t believe it - that´s so unlike Harry.

Maybe he was inspired by your example.

Or maybe he was just really hungry. Anyway, it did get Cho off that bench and headed towards the kitchens, so it was a good thing he did. When we got there, we were greeted by Winky, Dobby, George and Brenna.

And Tom, Dick and Harry.

No, Harry was with us already.

Ginny!

Sorry, it just had to be said. Anyway, Winky and Dobby were happy to see us, of course, but George wasn´t. Remember how I told you that Brenna´s working on a Communication Charm for our Advanced Charms class? Well, she thought she had perfected it, and she tried it out on George. Without telling anyone else, or checking it out with Professor Flitwick.

But, Ginny, that could be really dangerous!

Tell me about it. I couldn´t believe it - Brenna´s in Ravenclaw! She´s supposed to be smart. What was she thinking? And, of course, it didn´t work. Instead of transmitting the thought she wanted to, the charm sent George everything. All her thoughts, and all her feelings. George said that it was psychadelic, and I can well imagine. What I can´t imagine is what Brenna must be feeling right now. She said that George was knocked unconscious by the charm - imagine how horrible that must have been for her! She couldn´t wake him up, and she didn´t want to leave him to find Professor Flitwick. Not to mention that she didn´t want to tell him that she´d tried the charm without his permission.

Ginny, you sound very calm about all of this. Brenna could have really hurt your brother.

I know, but I suspect that George was the moving force behind it all - he probably suggested it in the first place, and then talked Brenna into it. It just sounds much more like George than Brenna. And I´m quite used to my brothers rushing headlong into danger. Brenna was really unhappy, too - when she tried to tell us about it, she actually ran out of the room, with George following her. I don´t think she´ll be doing anything like that again anytime soon.

That´s good, Ginny. I have a question for you. Since Cho and Brenna are both in Ravenclaw, I assume that they know each other?

Yes, especially since they´re in the same year. But, as I mentioned, there´s a lot of girls in that year, and Cho said that they aren´t close, because their personalities don´t mesh. I can certainly understand that - my personality doesn´t mesh at all with the other Gryffindor girls in my year.

You´ve never told me about the other girls in your year, you know, Ginny.

I haven´t? I must have. I see them everyday...

Trust me, Ginny, you never talk about them. Why not?

I...don´t know. I suppose because I try not to think about them much. We´re just so different, and of course, everything was exacerbated by my first year. They think I´m immature, because I actually show how I feel about Harry, and because I don´t know what I want to do when I grow up. Or didn´t - I don´t suppose I have much of a choice anymore. And they look down on my mum, because she doesn´t have a career. I don´t like being poor, but I swear, Joanna, all they think about is their careers, and how to get ahead in the world. I like my classes - most of them, anyway - for the sake of what I´m learning, but all they can think about is how useful what they´re learning will be in their careers.

That sounds rather Slytherin, Ginny.

Don´t tell them that! They´re constantly complaining about how unscrupulous Slytherins hurt their parents´ careers - they´re all from very old and established Gryffindor families. Of course, the Weasleys have been Gryffindors for as far back as anyone can remember, but we´re not successful Gryffindors, so we´re not the right sort.

Ginny, they sound horrible!

Oh, it´s not really as bad as all that. I suppose I tend to exaggerate. They were all friends before they came to Hogwarts, because their families all knew each other. So, I was the odd girl out from the very beginning. And then the whole diary thing...I kept pushing them away, when they did try to reach out, because I didn´t want anyone to know what I was doing. It all just snowballed...and now we´re all so set in our ways, that I haven´t the faintest idea how to break through.

So, you want to, now?

Yes, I do. I like spending time with Harry, Ron and Hermione, but after every breakfast, the three of them go one way, and I go another, alone. Before, I was with Colin, but I feel uncomfortable around him now, and he doesn´t seem to want to actually talk to me anymore. Watch me out of the corner of his eye during class, yes. Talk to me, no. So, I´d love to have some friends to walk through the halls with, study the same things with, talk about clothes, and music, and boys with. I just don´t know how to start.

Well, the only way to start is to talk to them. You share a room, it can´t be that difficult.

You say that, because you don´t have to do it.

I know. But if it´s something you want to do, you´ll have to make the effort.

I think I´ll start with Annis, she seems the least snobby. She´s asleep right now, of course - there´s no benefit in learning anything Binns teaches us. Oh - there´s the bell. I have to go, Joanna.

GWIHOW

November 30

Joanna, I performed Wingardium Leviosa without a wand today!

That´s wonderful, Ginny!

Of course, it´s only first-year magic, but it´s a start. Katie managed it, too, and to celebrate, we´re going to have a snowball fight. Theo talked us into it - I think he just wants to spend more time with Katie, truthfully - but it should be fun, anyway. It snowed for the first time last night, and Harry, Ron and Hermione are studying for a Potions exam, so they can´t play.

If you´re going out for a snowball fight, Ginny, why are you writing to me?

I´m waiting for Katie to beautify herself. Why she´s bothering, when we´re all going to get sweaty and soaking, I don´t know. Of course, she´d deny it vehemently, because - oh, she´s finally ready. Talk to you later, Joanna!

GWIHOW

December 2

Joanna, have you ever done something so completely stupid, that afterwards you felt you needed to hide away forever?

Yes.

You have?

Ginny, everyone feels that way sometimes. I know you don´t want to hear that right now, but it´s true. Of course, whatever you did probably wasn´t as bad as you think it is, though you probably don´t want to hear that right now, either. Why don´t you tell me about it, and then I´ll let you know what I think?

Oh, don´t worry, you´re going to get an earful. Eyeful? Brain-ful? Whatever. Here goes...Last night, while we were studying in the common room, Professor McGonagall came in. She came right over to where Harry and I were sitting, and -

Wait a minute, Ginny. Where you and Harry were sitting? Sitting together?

Well, we were sitting on the same sofa, studying.

Um-hm.

Well, Ron and Hermione were sitting together, and where does that leave Harry and me? Anyway, that´s not important right now, and probably won´t happen ever again. Which isn´t to say that I didn´t like it, because I did, and was having a hard time concentrating on my book, but Professor McGonagall put all thoughts like that out of my head. She said that Professor Dumbledore wanted to have a word with Harry and me, and that she´d be making an announcement to the rest of Gryffindor that we´d be sure to hear about when we came back. Harry and I jumped up and were out of the portrait hole before we really realized it - we thought that what Dumbledore was going to say would be more worrying than McGonagall´s announcement. Little did we know.

What did Dumbledore have to say?

He wants us to adopt Winky and Dobby. Or rather, he wants me to adopt Winky, and Harry to adopt Dobby. Neither one of them is settling in at Hogwarts, and Dumbledore thinks that they´ll both benefit from having only one master. Harry´s the obvious choice for Dobby, and apparently I´m the only one who´s reached out to Winky, so she´ll be working for me.

I thought you didn´t approve of having house-elves?

Well, I think I´m working on a case-by-case basis. I agree with Hermione that, in principal, all house-elves should be free to work for whom they want, or not to work at all, if that´s what they want. But Winky´s just so unhappy! Even though she´s been much better lately, she just wasn´t acting like a normal house-elf - and I don´t mean that she wasn´t obsequious enough, or something silly like that. She was just miserable, and nothing could cheer her up. Then, when I came back to the room last night, she was already there, and had already turned down the coverlet, plumped up the pillows, and laid out my nightdress. She was practically dancing with joy, and her smile - I´ve never seen such a huge smile.

I´m so glad for her.

Yes, so it´s worth it to keep her, no matter what Brie says.

Brie? Isn´t that a smelly sort of a cheese?

Not in this case. Miss Honbrie Havertown, one of my dormmates. Honbrie means sweet, she told us on the very first day, but I haven´t seen any indications of that.

She thinks that you shouldn´t keep Winky?

Oh, no. She just wants to import her own house-elf, since I´m going to have one. "It´s only fair." I tried to explain to her that this arrangement is for Winky, not for me, but I don´t think she believed me. I wouldn´t be surprised if an owl goes out to her father tomorrow.

Will you care?

No, because I´m sure Dumbledore will handle it. It was his idea, after all - he´d better!

And how is it working out so far?

Well, Winky didn´t like the jumper I picked out to wear today, or the socks, but I´m sure we´ll work out any differences in fashion sense eventually.

Oh, Ginny. So, that´s the stupid thing that you did? Adopting Winky?

Oh, no! We really will work things out, I´m sure, and, besides, I did it for her, and it made her happy, so it´s worth a few problems. No, the stupid thing came after that. See, one of the things Dumbledore said to us was that he´d asked my parents if it was okay that I adopt Winky.

Well, that´s understandable, Ginny, especially because of your family´s...

Financial situation?

Well, yes.

I know. I know! But Dumbledore didn´t ask anyone for permission for Harry. Everyone really does think I´m immature, don´t they?

Of course they don´t, Ginny. Who would you have Dumbledore ask for Harry? Those relations that he hates so much? They wouldn´t even know what a house-elf is.

He could have asked Sirius. He´s Harry´s godfather - wouldn´t you think he has a right to be asked those sorts of questions?

Well, yes...but from the sound of things, Ginny, Sirius doesn´t sound very overprotective.

No, but that´s not the point! If someone had to give permission before I could adopt a house-elf, the same should happen for Harry.

All right, Ginny. Perhaps you should speak to Dumbledore about it.

Very funny, Joanna. I actually managed not to blow up at him - I waited until Harry and I were out in the corridor, but then I let loose. I don´t think Harry´s ever seen me quite that angry before, and it was a little embarrassing, afterwards. Luckily, before I could get really worked up, we heard footsteps running towards us. Of course, we both were dreading who it was - expecting something horrible to have happened - but it was just Colin. He wanted to talk to Harry without me there.

Why?

Well, I didn´t find that out right away. When I got back to Gryffindor tower, the common room definitely seemed more alive than it had when I´d left. I went over to Ron and Hermione to find out what was up, but...oh, you should have seen them, Joanna! Hermione was furious, and Ron was completely oblivious. I raised my eyebrows at Hermione, and she rolled her eyes, which made both of us laugh, which, of course, made Ron remark that he would never understand girls.

Well, he´s right about that.

True, but he doesn´t even try! He just shrugged, and challenged me to a game of chess. He said that he´d finished all his work, and he wouldn´t have said that if it weren´t true, not with Hermione sitting right there. So I started to agree, but then I noticed Hermione´s face. She looked like she was desperately trying not to cry, and I knew that it had to be about Ron, so I told him to go away.

Ginny, you didn´t.

Oh yes, I did. He may be my brother, but he´s a prat. Anyway, he didn´t like it either, but he was about to leave, muttering something about finding a logical conversationalist, like Harry, when Pig started banging against the window. He had a letter from Mum - Ron had written to her asking if we could invite Harry and Hermione home for Christmas, and of course she said yes. Ron turned immediately to Hermione, and asked her to come.

He really has no idea, does he?

Absolutely none. Of course, she answered, in an extremely chilly voice, that she planned to spend Christmas with her parents, since she hadn´t done that for years, but Ron said not to be silly, of course she was coming. Poor Hermione - she didn´t know whether to be happy he was so insistent, still furious with him, or upset that he didn´t notice that she was furious. I took pity on her, and told him to go away again. This time he went. That´s when Hermione finally told me McGonagall´s news - there´s going to be another Yule Ball.

Oh, what fun!

Yes, well, Hermione didn´t think so. Remember her bet with Ron?

That she´d go to the ball with him; because of what Professor Moody said in class.

Exactly. Of course, Ron remembers it, too.

Why? What did he say?

It´s what he didn´t say. He didn´t ask her to the ball.

Because he knew she was going with him, because of the bet.

Yes, but honestly! Even Ron should know that she´d want to be asked.

Ginny, this is Ron we´re talking about.

Yes. Joanna, I´m ashamed for my brother.

Oh, Ginny. Lots of boys wouldn´t think of that. Trust me. So, let´s put aside Ron and Hermione for a moment. Do you have a date for the ball yet?

Oh, yes. No problem.

Really? Harry already asked you?

Oh, not Harry. Colin.

Colin? But, Ginny...

I know, Joanna. You want to know why, right after the ball was announced, I accepted an invitation from Colin, with whom I don´t even want to go, instead of waiting for Harry to ask me.

Exactly.

Well, right after Hermione finished explaining, Colin came in through the portrait hole, and came straight over to me. He dragged me away into a corner and asked me to the ball. I was about to say no, of course, when he said, "I asked Harry, and he said it would be okay."

What?

That´s exactly what I said! Colin said that he wanted to make sure that Harry wasn´t planning on asking me before he asked me, because, of course, if Harry was going to, he wouldn´t.

What?

You sound stuck, Joanna. Not that I blame you - I´ve had a night to assimilate it, but I couldn´t believe my ears when I first heard it, either. Then, Colin said that Harry had said that of course he wasn´t planning to ask me to the ball - that we´re just friends.

Oh,

breila.

I know. I know! Luckily, I was so furious that they´d discussed me as though I was a - a broomstick to be passed along that my anger buffered me a bit. In fact, I was so furious at Harry that I told Colin I´d be thrilled to go to the ball with him.

Well, I think that´s completely understandable, Ginny. I just...worry that Colin might misinterpret your reaction a bit.

I know. I´ll have to explain it to him, which won´t be fun. But he´s still one of my best friends, and I´d rather go with him than almost anyone else.

Almost.

Well, of course I´d rather go with Harry! Even if he is a prat. It must come from hanging around with Ron.

And, Ginny...it doesn´t sound as though...

As though he wants to go with me. Well, I´m not quite so sure anymore.

Why not?

After I said yes to Colin, I was too furious to want to talk to anyone, so I stormed upstairs. But, after I´d cooled down a little, I remembered Hermione´s situation, so I went back downstairs to talk to her. I found her talking to Harry, and as I approached, I heard her say, "Yes, he asked me as a friend."

What?

Yes. Apparently, Ron had figured it out that he was actually supposed to ask Hermione to the ball, even with that silly bet. But he asked her as a friend.

Who does he think he´s fooling?

I don´t know, but the only one he´s actually fooling is himself. Harry couldn´t believe it, either, and I was so mad at Ron that I wanted to go find him right then. Maybe to beat some sense into him. But Hermione wouldn´t let me; she said she was fine. Which left me free to think about my own problems, so I turned to Harry and asked him who gave him permission to approve of my dates.

What did he say?

He said that I could hardly expect Colin to go to Ron, Fred or George.

You mean...he thinks Colin asked him as a brother?

Well, that´s what he said. But...you know that quote, "Methinks the man doth protest too much"? I don´t know who said it.

Probably Shakespeare - he´s always a good guess.

Probably. Anyway, that was Harry. Besides, he couldn´t possibly have thought that - Colin was quite clear with me about why he asked Harry first, and I can´t imagine he would have been any less clear with Harry himself.

And from that, you think...

Well, I´m starting to suspect that maybe he does care for me, but he doesn´t want anyone to know, especially me. He was so insistent - he really wanted me to believe this idea that I just knew wasn´t true.

Why do you think he wouldn´t want anyone to know?

I lay in bed last night, thinking about that. This is Harry we´re talking about, Joanna. With Harry, the reason he would do something against his own wishes is almost always a noble one. I think he thinks that I´ll be in more danger from Voldemort if we...were dating, and he doesn´t want to put me in more danger. It´s a completely idiotic idea, of course.

Is it?

Oh, yes. I´m sure it´s enough to Voldemort that I´m a Weasley, let alone Harry´s friend, let alone the girl who wrote in his diary! If Harry´s first on his list, I´m at least in the top five. Dating Harry won´t change that one bit.

So, what are you going to do?

First of all, do you agree with my assessment?

I think so. Certainly, the idea that Colin would treat Harry as your brother is ludicrous. And, you know that I´ve been suspecting that Harry´s feelings were changing towards you for awhile now, Ginny.

I know. Well, you may be right. Isn´t it amazing? I think I´m still in shock. I´m trying to keep my imagination in line.

What do you mean?

Well, one of the things I imagined last night was Harry´s and my wedding...and us living in a truly wizarding house with our five kids...and one of our daughters marrying one of Seamus and Lavender´s sons...and going to family reunions together...and our honeymoon...I thought about all this before, of course, but it felt more substantial last night, somehow.

All right, Ginny. I understand. I thought you were trying to curb those thoughts.

Yes, but you asked! Anyway, there really isn´t anything I can do. I can´t change Harry´s mind if he never tells me what he´s thinking. So, my wild imaginings aside, the situation hasn´t really changed much.

That´s only partially true, Ginny. What you can do is show Harry two things. One is that you don´t care how much danger you´re in, as long as you can be with him. Don´t ask me how - it´ll probably be something that comes up at the spur of a moment, but I´m sure that moment will come. It sounds to me like Harry needs lots of people to tell him something similar, but he might have to settle for just you.

Oh, I´ll tell him that, if he ever gives me the slightest opportunity. What´s the other thing?

That you don´t want another brother. If Harry starts thinking of himself that way - to stop himself from thinking of you the way he wants to - he might start believing it himself. And that would be fatal.

Yes, it would! The absolute worst thing I could hear out of Harry´s mouth would be, "I think of you as a sister, Ginny."

I would think so. So, that was the stupid thing that makes you want to hide away forever - going to the ball with Colin?

Yes.

Do you still want to hide away forever?

No. You´re absolutely right, Joanna - talking it over with you made me feel not quite so stupid. And, speaking of stupidity, I should go downstairs. Everyone else is down there for the usual Sunday night homework scramble.

Even Hermione?

She´s down there; she´s just working on homework for next week instead of tomorrow. But I have a Transfiguration essay that I have to finish, so I´d better go.

All right. But, Ginny?

Yes?

You´d better tell me all about this ball. Who´s going with whom, who wanted to go with whom, and what everyone´s wearing. It´s wonderful to be worrying about you because of normal, teenage-girl problems for once.

Of course I will, Joanna. You´ll hear all about it.

Good. Now, go study, young lady.

Yes, ma´am.