Draco's Tea Party

Draco's Tea Party

Draco sat in the corner of the Slytherin common room, watching Crabbe and Goyle lumber around, like a couple of idiots. Scratch that, being a couple of idiots. His thoughts swam through his head.

I wish these buffoons would just go...I need some time to myself. I certainly couldn't...no, not with them here. That would just be wrong. Not to mention very weird. Besides, what kind of rumours would they spread if they saw me doing THAT in the common room? It would ruin my image! No, that's it. I'll just tell them to leave. Draco turned to face Crabbe and Goyle.

The thing is, they were already staring at him. Crabbe was the only one who could speak, even though he couldn't form actual sentences. Goyle was always the one to stand there and guffaw. So Crabbe spoke.

"You want us leave? You talk to self loud. We hear. We go if wanted by you." He shuffled his boat-like feet.

Draco blushed, a tiny bit of a salmon color coming to his dreadfully pale face. "Erm...I wasn't talking to myself, I was just...um...practicing. For the play. Yes, that's it. Now, could I please practice in private? I wouldn't want to ruin it for you." Not that you'd be able to understand anyway...

Goyle smiled and guffawed. "Guffaw!"

Draco stood up and led them out. "Now, go make yourself useful and torture Weasley.

Goyle looked dumbfounded. 'Little stupid one? Or bigger stupid one? Or stupid ones that look same?"

Draco rolled his eyes. 'Do I care? Just go torture a few! Jeez, by now I should think you'd know me better. Go read a book about me."And with that he shoved them out the door.

Did I just tell them to read a book? Draco wondered to himself as he searched under the forest green couch that resided in the middle of the room. Oh well, it's not like they'll remember by then anyway. I guess having no brains WOULD affect your memory. I wonder how they remember who I am? Wait, what am I thinking? I have to REMIND them who I am every time I see them. Hmmm...I wonder if I could get them off of my back if I would quit doing that. Wait, why am I even bothering to think about this! I should be concentrating on finding-

"AHA! I found you, Bluebunny! I was beginning to wonder if... well, not that it matters. Now I must find- well, speak of the devil. What excellent timing, Mrs. Peacock!" He was talking to a very raggedy sky blue bunny that was torn in more places than you could count, and a very ugly looking doll wearing a horrid dress of so many different colors it would make your head spin. My father would be ashamed, he thought. "Now, where is that blasted tea set?"

At that moment, Dobby, his EX-house-elf walked in, bearing Draco's beloved tea set, which he had received from Harry, Ron, and Hermione when he joined their tea party club.

"Give that here, Dobby," he said, voice dripping with malice. His beautiful (though actually quite ugly) tea set had been stolen.

Dobby gave a squeak and dropped it, running away as fast as his tiny legs would allow.

Draco had to lunge to catch it, as Dobby was very short and quite a distance away. Oh, you shall pay for that, Dobby. You will PAY.

"Close one, eh, Bluebunny? I knew being a seeker would help me someday. Must report this to father. Who said Quidditch isn't useful? Well, Father, of course, but he was wro..." What am I saying? My father is NEVER wrong. He was merely... "confused. Yes, he was confused. Back to business though. No use getting distracted." He set the tea set down behind the couch and sat the stuffies -er- his friends, down on either side of him.

"Beautiful day, eh Mr. Bluebunny? Yes, I do believe that the horrid winter frost has passed, don't you? Yes, yes. Oh, and Mrs. Peacock, that dress just keeps getting more beautiful every time I see it. Wherever did you get such fine material? I would love something like that."

He had grown up so much since his very first tea party. Oh, I remember it so well. It was a disaster. It had gone precisely like this:

"Erm...that's a nice, uh, dress you're wearing. But you know, you could wash it once in a while, it's very dirty. What? You like my devilishly good looks? Why thank you so much. A little tip for you: if you cross your legs a little more, you'll look more lady-like. Like this."

He was glad that he had learned from experience as he had more and more get-togethers with these two best friends of his. Yes, his true friends. He turned back to them.

"Mr. Bluebunny, I heard that you used to be a Quidditch player yourself, until someone fouled you so much that you were clinically defined as 'unstable'. Yes, I would hate it if they were to do that to me..."

A greasy voice floated from the door. "Oh, rest assured, Mr. Malfoy. I don't think that you should be defined as 'unstable'. More like...mental. Goody! One more trip to St. Mungo's!!!"

Bloody git. I'm sure he's been there quite a few times on his own expense. They should know him quite well, perhaps even by name. I wouldn't dare say this aloud, though. He might tell. Or take off points. What if I just...

"Tea, Professor Snape?" Draco wore his most charming grin as the Potions master and head of Slytherin house walked behind the couch and stared intently at Draco with those beady little black eyes of his.

Draco went into his thoughts again. I'll bet I look like such a little cherub next to this greasy haired slimeball. Wait, I look like an angel next to everybody, what am I thinking?

Snape looked menacing. "Did you just call me a 'greasy-haired slimeball?"

I've really gotta learn to stop thinking aloud...

He put his smile back on. "Of course not, professor! I called you a genius, unscared..." Darnit, what sounds like slimeball? "football!"

"Football? Alright, I'm going to Dumbledore about this."

Crap, I just called my head of house a football. And I don't even know what that is! Great thinking, Draco.

"Look, professor, I'm just wondering. Will you have the honour of joining me?"

"Mr. Malfoy, do you seriously think that I would join a tea party? Have you no shame?" Get on with it Snape! Just forget about St. Mungo's and keep on talking. Come on. You know you wanna. "Of course I'll join! You should know me better than that by now."

Sounds familiar, Draco thought. But I don't want to have tea with Snape; I'd rather eat flesh-eating slugs. At least they would bring me less pain, and they wouldn't try to- Malfoy shuddered at the thought- touch me. Back off Snape, you STAY on the other side of this tea set.

"Well, professor, I, erm..." Come on, Malfoy, make up an excuse! You're good at that kind of thing! "I have to go to detention. I've gotta go. You can finish up here, and I'll just...be off. You can put everything back under the couch when you're done. Bye Slimeball Snape! I mean, Severus!" And with that, he ran very unregally out the door and upstairs to Dumbledore's office.

"Headmaster Dumbledore, you've got to come quick! It's Professor Snape, I think he's gone mad, sir!" Am I actually trusting this fool? Oh well. Perhaps if Snape leaves, we will get a much less...nosy...head of house. Then I could have my tea parties in private.

" Mr. Malfoy, I would much appreciate it if you didn't call me a fool. And may I inquire what tea parties you are speaking of, that you would wish to have in private?"

Draco snorted. I could've sworn I didn't say that one aloud! Muggle-loving fool, always prying in other people's business...

Dumbledore gave him a sly, knowing glance.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about MY tea parties, that is to say, the ones that I don't have. I mean, I don't have tea parties! Those are for foolish little girls. I was talking about the one that I just caught Snape having in the Slytherin common room. I think you should send him to Mungo's! But you have to hurry, he might stop!"

Oh, I am SO. Frikkin. EVIL!

"Of course you're evil. Now, I shall go check on Mr. Snape, and give him the appropriate lecture. You may go back, but I will not allow you to be in the common room, as he might suspect it was you that told."

Draco skipped down the halls, headed to the library to think. Ha! I could sing! Snape in trouble. What I wouldn't do to get a picture...and of him with Bluebunny and Mrs. Peacock too. Wait a minute...wasn't my name sewn onto Bluebunny's tag? Crap!

His yell and thudding footsteps echoed down the barren hallways as he ran to catch up with the old dinosaurthat was the headmaster, who was at that moment right outside Slytherin house and couldn't hear him.

"Professor Dumbledore!!! WAIT!!!!!!!"

But by the time he had reached the common room, Snape and Dumbledore were walking out. Dumbledore had a small, blue, stuffed bunny in his hand. He shoved it towards Draco.

"I believe this belongs to you? I think, perhaps, you should come with us. We're going on a little trip to a tiny, unimportant place called St. Mungo's..."