The Diary of Severus Snape

~The Diary of Severus Snape~

~

August 25

Argh. Another day wasted researching crap for the Order. Death Eater stuff like potions that turn your insides out and make your blood seep out from your pores. Why Dumbledore wants to know this stuff, I haven't the faintest clue. Something to protect Potter, most likely. Bloody Potter. He got off scot-free from that trial; I'd been hoping that he'd be expelled. Bloody Potter. I hate him. I hate him too. James. Harry. I hate both of them!!!

Bloody Black. He's so useless and lazy. Sitting around the house all day, doing nothing to help the Order. Sure, it's his house they're using as headquarters, but cleaning Grimmauld Place with the help of a cast of millions can't be nearly as challenging as looking up potions in obscure books.

God I hate them all. Bloody Potter, with his messed-up hair. Bloody Black, always in on the joke. Bloody Lupin, that lycanthropic freak. Bloody Weasleys, with their second-hand robes and too many damn siblings. Bloody Potter's son, with that scar on his head. Bloody Granger. She knows too much for her own good, and for the good of the rest of her idiotic little classmates.

I hate them. I envy them. They have friends. I don't. I think I'll go sulk in the corner now.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms!

Please excuse me, diary, while I go dig them up.

~

August 31

Dear Diary,

...Man that sounds girly. I'm not girly in the slightest. If I was, I'd chase after boys, wear bronzer to hide my lovely pale complexion, and paint my nails red. If I was, I'd dye my hair blonde, giggle in the corridors with a group of twenty of my closest friends, and write in my diary with sparkly pink ink. Oh shit. I do write in my diary with sparkly pink ink.

Shut up Severus. You're incriminating yourself.

No I'm not! The diary already knows.

Someone might read it...

As if!

Anyways, I have only one day left until those bloody *cough*cretins*cough* excuse me, children come back. My space and solitude will be robbed from me. Argh! I'm sick of them already. Bloody children who rob my free time, leaving me with only after dinner to ponder my love life and absolutely no time to pursue my favourite hobby.

They're absolutely idiotic. Girls link arms and skip down the corridors, spend hours on their bloody makeup which mingles with the steam from their cauldrons, drips in and then BOOM!!!!!! Twenty students to the infirmary and 100 points from the offending house. 150 if it's Gryffindor.

Bloody boys who can only think of which girls they want to shag and who will win the next Quidditch game. Boys who wear dirty gray pants that haven't been washed for weeks and are full of holes-

Sounds like someone I know...

Oh really now. You know, I'm beginning to get a bit sick of this magical diary that keeps talking back. Albus gave it to me for my last birthday, which was September 15 of last year. And as I absolutely will not purchase one myself....

But I digress. Tomorrow I will be back to scaring the wits out of the children and grading their bloody papers. I hate grading bloody papers. Makes me want to scream when I get one that goes even an inch above requirement. Makes me want to scream and drown myself in one of Longbottom's failed potions when I get one from Granger. Bloody know-it-all.

She just has to demonstrate that she knows everything there is to know and more. Oh, she doesn't know everything. Oh, I can think of a thousand things she doesn't know, and many don't pertain to things one can find in books.

Severus, you bad boy!

Oh, shut it.

Sigh. Must go wander the grounds before those creatures come back from their lovely little holiday.

~

September 5

Well, the first few days back have been positively dreadful. God damn those insolent beasts. Classes have been, well, let's just say that I want to strangle each and every one of those little...things. So, in other words, classes have been normal. Those Gryffindors make me want to jump into the lake. Especially Potter's class.

Bloody Potter. He can't even read. He would have gotten his potion absolutely perfect had he added the ingredients from the first line. I just want to curse him so he doesn't need those glasses anymore. Wait. That would be a good thing for him. I just wish he'd just go away and live somewhere where I didn't have to see him. Just as long as I can't see him. He can't die. For one thing, Voldemort would take over the bloody universe and my love would never get over it. She's a huge fan, you see.

Love? Did ickle Sevvie just use the L-word?

Stupid diary. I used it before in the previous entry. It's not like I have a problem with it. Love love love love...ewww I'm making myself sick.

Love. Why do I hate it so much? Evans. Potter. God I fell for her. She was just about the only non-Slytherin who said anything good about me in my school days. And then she had to run off with bloody Potter. Well, at least I'm over her.

Funny. Love and Potter. Potter. The imbecile. Looks like he's headed down the same path as his dear old father with Granger.

You know what, diary? I hate Potter.