Things I'll Never Say

Things I'll Never Say

All I do is hide, which is something I have never done before. I used to be strong; I used to be able to stick up for myself. But then you came into my life and all that changed. You made me hide, you took all the innocence I had and that everybody loved and turned me into the female you.

Do you hear the things people are saying about us, about me? Maybe you don't, but I do and it hurts. But I knew the consequences of being with you would be hard, but I went through with them anyway because I loved you. You didn't love me though, and everybody knew that, everybody but me unfortunately. If I had known, I wouldn't be with you right now.

Everybody would say, "He doesn't love you. He's lying to you." But you know what I said? No, you don't. "He does love me, he wouldn't lie to me," was what I would say to them, and I believed it because I thought you weren't cold enough to do that to anybody, but I was wrong.

That night still haunts my dreams every night, but I'm sill here because of the rose that is held in my hand at this very moment. You told me you loved me when you gave me that de-thorned rose. It was the first time you told me that you loved me, and I, being the naïve sixteen year old I was, believed you. How foolish I was to believe that you of all people could love somebody, especially me.

But that rose changed something in you. After that, you paid more attention to me, every meal you sent me a de-thorned rose to me, and all your kisses were sweet and loving unlike your cold and emotionless kisses I remember.

I looked into the mirror earlier when you were gone. But the reflection I saw in the mirror was not me at all. The girl I saw was dirty and ugly in a way. All the innocence that once belonged to the reflection was stolen and she looked lost beneath everything. The girl in the mirror was terribly skinny and desperate to say awake, let alone alive. I looked into the reflection's eyes and was surprised at how dark they were. She could not be me. The girl in the mirror was not me at all. Not even close. You see what you have done to me?

The words I want to say are right here: I hate you. You played me before and now this is me playing you. I can't stand you and I have to restrain myself from slapping you whenever I'm in the same room as you. I've wanted to tell you that for so long and now I have. How does it feel to be played for so long and not even knowing it? Does it hurt? Do you feel like someone has knocked the wind out of you? Do you want to die? If you do then you know how I felt when I found you sleeping with Lavender Brown.

I heard the door opening and then your voice.

"Ginny?" you voice traveled through the whole house. "Are you here?"

I stop myself from saying, "Where else would I be dumbass?" and say, "Yeah. I'm up in the room." I sighed.

But you'll never know how I really feel, will you? I have a family here now, a husband who loves me, a baby girl, and right now I'm six months pregnant and expecting a boy. I could've told you before this, but I wanted revenge. If it will protect my family, you'll never know how I truly feel about you.

Good-bye for now.

(¨'·.·´¨) (¨'·.·´¨)

·.¸(¨'·.·´¨) Always

'·.¸.·

Virginia Molly Weasley Malfoy

I set my quill down and closed my book, hiding it where nobody, especially him, would look.

"You'll never know," I whispered before walking downstairs in Draco Malfoy's arms.