Self Destruct

Chapter 1: The Last Smile

I stepped off the Hogwarts Express and onto the rocky ground. Girls and boys surrounded me, and Pansy clung onto my arm like she was going to lose me. Well, too bad. I'm not one of her worthless boy toys. I yanked my arm out of her grip and stormed a path through all the frightened little first years and other people not worthy of my time.

Then I saw her. She was beautiful; her reddish/brownish hair was curled at the bottom and hung over her shoulders gracefully. She was just standing there, looking for something, someone. Her eyes were a beautiful hazel/brown color that seemed to look right through you. Finally, she looked up at me, frowned, and looked back down. I was walking up to her when -.

"Ginny!"

She looked up and smiled. To my dismay, Weasley, Potter, and Granger came walking up to her. She hugged them all, but Potter was somewhat special I guess since she kissed him. Yep, she kissed him, right on the lips. That was Ginny Weasley? She had finally grown out of her gawky stage and had blossomed into a woman.

I nearly started laughing, but a Malfoy never laugh in public so I stopped. So the Weaslette had finally snagged Boy Wonder? Great, now I'd have to witness them being all touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, and whatnot. I swear just thinking about it made me sick. I frowned when I realized that I had thought that the Weaslette was beautiful.

"Draco!" I turned around at the sound of my name and wanted to run away when I saw Pansy pushing her way through the students. But Malfoy's never run, and she had all ready got a caught of my robe so there wasn't much I could do.

She looped her hand through the crook of my arm and held on tight. "Why did you run away?"

"I don't run, Pansy," I hissed. "Now if you would kindly leave me alone, I don't have time for your bullshit."

She nodded and stomped off angry. Well at least the whore would leave me alone for a few hours. I sighed and soon Crabbe and Goyle were walking on both sides of me. I cursed and tried to get away from them. But they followed wherever I went. At first I thought it would be fun to have two bodyguards by my side to hurt someone whenever I wished. But over the years they grew to be the most annoying gits ever. Well, except for Potty, Weaselbee, and the Mudblood. But still, a huge pain in my arse.

We entered the Great Hall and once again it was the same setting as it had always been for the last five years that I've attended Hogwarts. There were still four tables, still the image of the sky for a ceiling, still the long table where the professors sat. But this time it was completely different. There was no Dumbledore sitting in the big chair in the middle, his eyes twinkling as he looked at everybody. The Potions master was not there, either. For a mere second I felt horrible. I had helped in the killing of Albus Dumbledore. Though I did not kill him myself, I had had a part in it. I knew I would have to kill somebody someday, seeing as who my father is - or was since he is now dead - but before Snape and everybody had come in that night Snape killed Dumbledore, I hadn't wanted to kill him. I hadn't wanted to have any part in what my father had been doing. I didn't want to be a Death Eater for the first time in my life.

This year, McGonagall was sitting at where Dumbledore had sat for the past six years. Her hair was grayer and she had more wrinkles on her aging face. She wasn't smiling and her lips weren't tight as they usually were. For the first time in the sixth years I've known her, she was slouching. She looked sick and old and tired and worn out. It seemed like every breath she took was hard on her and she looked near-tears. McGonagall was also thinner than ever. The death of Dumbledore looked harder on her than anybody else.

All of the professor's at the table looked old and tired, and one new person sat in the chairs. She was obviously the new Potion's professor. The woman was a pretty and looked young, probably about the age of twenty-seven sitting next to McGonagall. She had curly brown hair with tints of red and blonde mixed in that went a little bit shorter than shoulder length. From what I could see, her eyes were a brownish color, but darker. She was wearing black robes that hung loose off her shoulders. Underneath I could see that she was wearing a black ruffled skirt and a black shirt. The woman must like black, I figured.

Horace Slughorn was still sitting at the High Table. I was shocked. This was the first time in all of my years here that a Defense Against the Dark Art's professor had actually made it through the year and even returned the next year. I guess he felt like he owed Dumbledore something. He too looked like he'd lost some weight like McGonagall had. I knew Dumbledore's death would be tragic to everyone at Hogwarts, but this...this was shocking.

McGonagall waited until every student was sitting to let the firsties in. They looked positively pale and green. Only a few looked proud and comfortable. Hopefully they'd be set in Slytherin.

Before the sorting began, McGonagall stood up and clinked her spoon against his wine glass. Everyone was quiet as they looked up at the new Headmistress, and I noticed Potter and his gang looked even worse than McGonagall. I just sat there, drumming my fingers against the edge of the wooden table and staring at the wall across the room very bored. Please, I pleaded silently. Just get it over with. I'm starving.

"Welcome all," she began in a chocked voice. Her was voice loud, but I could tell it was a struggle for the old woman to speak and not cry. "Another year, another beginning. I know this year is quite different. Please, let's have a moment of silence for our ex-headmaster, Albus Dumbledore."

Everyone bowed his or her heads, even some of the Slytherin's. Figuring I was a little guilty, I bowed my head as well. Then McGonagall cleared her throat and I looked up. I almost expected her to mention Snape, but she didn't. Probably too painful. I knew she had been one of the one who hadn't trusted Snape but who had trusted Dumbledore's judgment. Some judgment, I thought. Dumbledore had always been convinced that Snape was loyal to him and had broken away from the Dark Lord. Even when everybody else thought differently, he's stuck to his opinion on Snape - no matter what anybody else said.

"I hope everyone had a joyful holiday," she said, tears brimming into her eyes. In a few seconds she would be crying. "Now, a few notes just to make sure our year is safe and enjoyable. Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has said that the bottom floor to the left corridor is dangerous for anybody under fifth year. I advise that no one, not even fifth years and above, go there."

I could tell she meant the Golden Trio, since every year even though they've been told not to go somewhere, they always have. I rolled my eyes at this. Forget it, I thought. They didn't even listen to Dumbledore. They're never going to listen to you. Don't even try.

"The Forbidden Forest is still, just that. Forbidden. Nobody is to go into the forest, especially after dark.

"Anybody out of they're common room after ten o' clock will be punished. Unless you have a note or a reasonable reason should you be out.

"Now, let us welcome our new Potion's professor, Madam Romano. She traveled all the way from Italy just to be here for us. Madam Romano has taught many potion classes all around the world, including the Americas, Poland, Germany, London, Russia, Italy, Asia, Canada, Chad, Niger, Nigeria, and many other countries. She has won awards for her teaching and has taught some of our most famous celebrities including Victor Krum, Nick Ferd and Hans Ferdigand of the Chudly Canons, and countless others. Madam Romano has gone out of her way to be here for us, lets hope for her to remain here. Please, welcome Madam Romano."

The woman who was sitting next to her stood up and smiled sadly at everybody. There was little applause, seeing as how everybody was frightened. A silver chain swayed from around her next and it was then that I saw that she was wearing a necklace. I squinted my eyes to get a better look at the design. It was silver and shaped into a-.

"Draco, you're staring at her," a girl said from across me. I tore my eyes away from the professor and looked to see who had spoken. It was Daphne Greengrass. I looked at her oddly. She had never spoken to me before and I had never spoken to her before, let alone notice her.

"Why do you care?" I asked, trying to make it sound threatening. She just rolled her eyes and looked back at McGonagall.

"Now, with all that aside, let's begin sorting the first years," McGonagall said when all the clapping was finished.

Before the firsties were sorted, the hat broke into a song. A really stupid song about what the houses are, how we've come along, how never to take anything for granted, to remember our loses and be grateful for what we have, and that now is the most crucial time to unite together to fight all of the dark forces. I was seriously about to fall asleep. I had to pinch myself to stay awake.

Then people were clapping. And I was thanking Merlin because I knew that within minutes I would fall asleep and I was starving. I was worried my stomach would start rumbling and I didn't want that to happen.

McGonagall walked up to the hat as soon as the applause was over and took out a long roll of parchment. "Afridia, Lydia!"

A girl with straight black hair with silver eyes walked up to the stage, a bright smile placed upon her face. I hardly believed she was eleven. Please, she looked fourteen, except that she wasn't as tall as a fourteen year old.

Before the hat even touched her head, the sorting hat yelled, "SLYTHERIN!"

My table didn't clap as much as the Gryffindork's would've clap for someone to be sorted into their house. We just weren't that excited. Lydia sat next to Pansy and began talking to her, even though Pansy looked disgusted to have one of the firsties talking to her.

The sorting took about forty-five minutes. I swear Hogwarts is going to belong to the firsties one of these days. There's like a million of them!

Right as I was beginning to doze off, McGonagall called the last name, "Zerouder, Xavier" and he was placed in Hufflepuff. There was clapping, but hardly any of the Slytherin's.

McGonagall stood up and the clapping stopped, everyone looked at her expectantly. "Let the feast begin," he said. Turkey, and chicken, and baby back ribs, and all sorts of exotic foods filled the table, along with Butterbeer, scotch, and wine. I stared at all the food before filling my plate with every different kind of food and poured myself a glass of scotch.

After most of the food was gone and nobody was eating it anymore because it was cold McGonagall excused us and instructed the younger students to follow the Head Boy and Girls to their common room, I stood and left. I wasn't Head Boy, much to my father's dismay. Instead, Blaise Zabini had. From what he's said, Granger's also be named Head Girl. My father had gone ballistic when he'd heard that a Mudblood had been given the title of Head Girl, while a Pureblood hadn't.

I headed down to a place when I knew I would be alone. It was my special place, a place for me to think; a place where I didn't have to be what I was supposed to be. On my way there, I heard giggling and went to go check it out. My jaw dropped when I saw whom it was.

Potty had the Weaslette pinned the wall and was kissing her neck. Anger bubbled inside of me. I have no clue why. It felt different than anger. I suddenly wanted to claw Potter's eyes out and stick them up his arse. Was this...jealousy? I just stood there with my mouth open staring at them.

Then Weaslette saw me standing there and whispered something in Pothead's ear. He suddenly turned around and smirked when he saw me.

"Jealous, Malfoy?" Potter said, still pinning himself to his girlfriend.

I shook my head, and tried to think of something to say back to him. I had nothing. My mind was completely blank. So I just started talking.

"No, just shocked that someone would be insane enough to snog a freak like you," I said. "She might get rabies from kissing a mutant."

I walked away, and ignored Potter's remark, which was: "At least I'm not a Ferret." I smirked at it and continued walking. But the anger and shock wouldn't go away. I tried to ignore it by thinking of someway to bully the first years and mock the Weaslette...

~)()(~

I woke up the next morning to darkness. It wasn't a surprise to me. I'd always woken up to the dark. Even at home since Father wouldn't allow the sunlight in the house. I once believed he was a vampire, but I soon learned otherwise.

Then I remembered seeing Potter and Weaslette snogging last night. I glared at nothing and then shook my head. Why was I getting so worked up over Potter kissing a girl? I kept asking myself. But this isn't any girl, a different voice whispered to me in the back of my head. This is Ginny Weasley.

Yeah, it's the Weaslette, I told myself. So I shouldn't care.

But you do, the other voice whispered again, almost hauntingly.

All during the day I tried to ignore the annoying voice, but during lunch I couldn't. I was just sitting down with Pansy (much to my chagrin), Crabbe, and Goyle when the Weaslette came in, looked down right pissed off. She stomped over to the Gryffindor table, went over to the Mudblood Granger, and slapped her. She had caught the eye of mostly everybody in the Great Hall, so there was a pretty loud gasp the filled the room.

"YOU DIRTY WHORE!" She yelled. The room fell silent and Granger's eyes were wide with shock. She stood up, but it didn't do a difference. Despite the fact that she was practically a foot taller then the Weaslette, she didn't look intimidated.

"What did I do?" Granger asked. Her cheek had gone pink and a tiny scratch was oozing a little blood.

"LAVENDER TOLD ME SHE SAW YOU AND HA-HARRY SNOGGING AFTER I'D GONE TO BED! HOW COULD YOU?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!"

"Ginny, be reasonable! Why would I kiss Harry when he's your boyfriend?"

"BECAUSE YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND! JUST BECAUSE RON DOESN'T LIKE YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY BOYFRIEND!"

That's where Granger slapped her.

"YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU!" the Mudblood yelled, tears coming to her eyes.

"HOW DARE I?! HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SNOGGED MY BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE THE LYING, SLUTTY, BITCHY, MUDBLOOD WHO CAN'T LET ANYBODY HAVE THEIR OWN BOYFRIEND WITHOUT SNOGGING THEM!"

The Mudblood burst into tears.

"Ginny!" Weasley yelled, standing up. "You are being so stupid, did you know that?! Why would Hermione snog Harry when she's going out with me?! And besides, Harry totally loves you!"

Weaslette's eyes had gone kind of shocked when she'd heard that her brother and the Mudblood dating. Then she blinked and she looked between Potter, Granger, and her brother.

"Harry, tell her she's crazy," Weasley sighed, looking over at his best friend. Potter had his head down. "Harry? Tell her that Lavender is just angry because Ginny is the one going out with you. Tell her you would never cheat on her, especially with your best friend."

Potter looked up, looked at Granger and then the Weaslette. "I didn't know you and her were going out, Ron," Potter said. Everyone held their breath. "I had just finished off my third bottle of Butterbeer when Hermione came down to the common room around midnight. She told me she couldn't sleep and that she had been having nightmares. I tried to sooth her and then, I just...I just..."

"You just what?" Weasley asked.

"I just...kissed her," Potter said. "I didn't notice Lavender coming down the stairs." He stood up and walked over to the Weaslette. "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I made a horrible mistake, and I wish I had never done it. I love you, and you know it."

He reached up to touch her tear stricken face, but Weaslette slapped his hand away and pushed him. He fell to the floor. "Don't you dare touch me, Potter," she hissed. "Don't you dare say you love me. Don't you DARE try to make me forget about this! I hate you! We're done, forever, Potter." With tears running down her face, she ran out of the Great Hall.

It wasn't even twenty-four hours before her whole life changed. It was the last time I'd seen her smile.