Hermione's Grief

Hermione and Lilith sat on the plane, awaiting takeoff. It was mid August; they were heading to England; Hermione, to return to the life she had long denied; Lilith, to enter a new world she had never known existed. Minerva and Hermione had explained everything to her, the magic, the wars, the fight against darkness, and Harry and Ron. Her mother had told her everything about her husband and her best friend, showing her the photo album Harry had of Lily and James and the photo album that Hermione had been given at her wedding by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

The album was a heavy white book with a large red heart on the front that flashed the phrases "Harry and Hermione" and "Together Forever". Frequently, while going through the photos which catalogued Hermione and Harry's life from the first year of Hogwarts until their marriage, Hermione had to pause to regain her composure.

For Lilith, the album had seemed foreign. Everything in it, from the moving pictures, to the castle, to the black haired boy with the scar on his forehead, was unfamiliar. She was scared, scared to enter the wizarding world, which had brought her mother so much pain and anguish.

"Please buckle your seatbelts, we will be taking off momentarily," the flight attendant's voice rang throughout the cabin.

The plane shuddered to life and began rolling down the runway, taking Hermione and Lilith to a foreign world, more foreign than any of the Muggles on the plane could imagine.

* * * * *

As the plane flew through the sky, Hermione thought about how she would return to the magical community. Overblown entrances, Daily Prophet headlines were definitely not the way to go. She, personally, merely wanted to appear in the front of the classrooms and let the children write their parents home about it. Minerva ruled this option out, reminding Hermione of the speed with which rumors spread at Hogwarts, and about the frequent inaccuracies in all of them.

Hermione decided that she would find a balance between these two extremes. After she and Lilith had settled into their temporary apartment in Hogsmeade where they would be living while Hogwarts was fixed up, she would send a letter to Arthur Weasley, inviting his entire family over for dinner. She doubted that they would accept the invitation, and she fully expected that Molly would show up at her door the minute she received the letter, dragging both her and Lilith to The Burrow.

"Mom," Lilith nudged her shoulder, "the pilot said we are getting ready to land soon."

"Good, I'm getting a little sore from all this sitting," Hermione said, grinning at her daughter.

"Umm, where did you say we were staying tonight? Some magical inn or something?"

"The Leaky Cauldron, it's a restaurant and inn in Diagon Alley, the magical area of London.

"Oh, I thought it was called Hogseed or something."

"No, we are just staying in London for a day or two so we can buy some supplies, like wands and robes, and then we should be moving into a small apartment in Hogsmeade, the only wizarding town in Britain. It's near Hogwarts."

"I see, what did you say we needed to buy?"

"Wands and robes, as well as books. Actually, I still have most of my books, Minerva added them to the Library at Hogwarts, but she is going to give them back to me."

"Robes?"

"Yes, wizards and witches wear robes. You will look incredibly out of place in jeans, darling, robes are actually quite fashionable."

"Like the robes you were wearing the photo album. Those dorky things? They look like something I would wear on Halloween."

"Well, you're going to have to wear them now, you haven't really got a choice."

Lilith sighed. She hoped the culture shock did not kill her.

* * * * *

It was dark by the time the taxicab dropped them off at the corner of the block where the Leaky Cauldron was located. Holding onto Lilith with one hand and dragging her suitcase behind her with her other, Hermione started walking down the block.

Seeing the Leaky Cauldron in front of her, Hermione stopped, holding Lilith back as well. Up until this point, she hadn’t really realized the full impact of what she was doing. Talking about magic and Hogwarts and Harry with Minerva and Lilith had been one thing, but actually entering the Leaky Cauldron meant no turning back. She would have to face all her old friends and enemies. She would have to talk to Remus, Sirius, Arthur, Molly, Charlie, Bill, Percy, Fred & George, Ginny, and everyone else. She would have to explain why she left for 11 years, leaving people to wonder if she were even still alive. Minerva had told her that the Weasley family knew she was alive, but did not know where she was or what she was doing with her life. Sirius and Remus, she had said, knew she was coming back to teach, as they would be teachers at Hogwarts themselves, but Hermione was nervous, terrified even, to see them again.

Look what has happened, Hermione thought to herself, I'm afraid to face my old friends. 11 years ago I would have trusted any of them with my life, and now I'm too afraid to even face them. What has happened to me?

But in her heart she knew what happened. Time. Time changed everything, there could be no changing what she had did, not that she fully regretted living as a Muggle all that time; the distance she had put between herself and magic had helped her rebuild her life, had helped her be able to live without constantly being reminded of Harry.

Here goes nothing.

Hermione and Lilith stepped inside the Leaky Cauldron. It was the same as Hermione remembered it, the tables and the bar were the same as they were all those years ago when she had first come here, on a trip to buy school supplies.

Life comes full circle, they always say, guess they're right, whoever they are.

Hermione walked up to the witch at the counter, praying she wouldn't be recognized. Even though her appearance had changed in the 11 years, her hair was shorter and her face was decidedly older and more wrinkled, she prayed that no one would notice her.

"One room for two nights please," Hermione said. "I'm sorry, but I haven't got a chance to change my money yet, just in from the U.S., do you accept American money?"

"No, but don't worry, you can pay tomorrow morning when you get a chance to go to Gringotts," the witch said, handing Hermione a key.

"Thank you so much. How much will the room cost?"

"Just 15 Galleons."

Hermione and Lilith picked up their suitcases and headed towards the staircase, Hermione keeping her head down. Reaching the top of the landing, Hermione headed down the hall, trying to find their room. It was the one at the end of the hallway; Hermione opened the door and went inside.

Lilith turned to the wall, feeling for a light switch and finding none.

"Hey Mom, where's the light?"

"Oh, right, there isn't one."

"WHAT!! No electricity, I thought this was London, for goodness sake."

"No, it's Diagon Alley, there is no electricity or telephones here."

"But, but, where does the light come from? Does everyone just go to sleep when the sun sets?"

"Don't be condescending, darling, just because there's no electricity doesn't mean wizards are backward rustics. We are actually quite advanced, much more so than Muggles in certain respects. There just aren't any electronics."

"Fine, fine, sorry, wizards might be more advanced than Muggles, but it's still dark in this room and I can't find my pajamas in the dark."

Hermione felt her way over to the desk in the room and opened the drawer, pulling out a candle. She handed it to Lilith.

"Just put that in the holder on that nightstand, honey, that ought to do it."

"One candle, that's it? I'll barely be able to read by its light, and where are the matches, how am I supposed to light it?"

"You aren't, just put it in the holder and you'll see," Hermione grinned, recalling her first experience with the lighting system at the Leaky Caldron.

Lilith put the candle in its holder and the room suddenly lit up.

"What the.." Lilith stared at the candle.

"It's a simple combination of charms, a Room-Lighting and a Matchless Igniting charm. They were put on the holder and the candle so that guests who were staying here wouldn't have to go by the light of their wands at night."

"Right, simple, of course. Sorry for being rude, I've got a lot to learn about this magic stuff, I guess."

"Don't fret about it honey. I managed to do it quite fine, but no more chatter, it's time to sleep. You had a long day today, and tomorrow will be even longer."

Lilith walked over to the mirror to take out her contact lenses; she had also inherited her father's vision along with her eyes.

"Lovely eyes you've got there, deary."

Lilith jumped back a few feet, "Who said that? Mom?"

"No, it was me" said the mirror, sounding like what one would imagine a grandmother to sound like.

"Oh, of course, talking mirrors. Why didn't I guess?" Lilith said sarcastically. "What's next, talking pictures? They already move."

Hermione had come out of the bathroom just in time to catch Lilith's last comment.

"Of course portraits talk, wait until we get to Hogwarts and I'll introduce you to the Fat Lady and her friend Violet. Maybe Sir Cadogan will even be there, but I think someone has probably thrown him into the lake by this time," Hermione said, lying down in bed and putting out the candle.

Lilith just sighed.

* * * * *

Stepping into Diagon Alley, Hermione was overwhelmed with a sense of nostalgia. Memories of eating ice cream with Harry and Ron, memories of getting Crookshanks, who was long since deceased, memories of the brawl that broke out in Flourish and Blotts between Arthur and Lucius. Shaking her head, as if to clear it of these thoughts, she and Lilith walked briskly to the gleaming white building that still dominated the Alley.

Seeing how crowded Diagon Alley was on this summer day, Hermione pulled her hat down on her head firmly and put on her pair of sunglasses.

As she walked up the steps, Hermione raised her hand in greeting to the goblin that guarded the door.

"Mom," Lilith tugged on Hermione's sleeve, "what is that thing?"

"It's a goblin, they guard Gringotts."

"Oh, it's kinda ugly."

"Shh Lilith, do not ever insult any magical being, beast, or human, you never know what kind of magic they can use against you."

Walking through the heavy brass doors, Hermione moved towards the row of counters, keeping her head down to avoid being noticed by the witches and wizards who were going about their business. Lilith moved more slowly, taking in all of the amazing things she was seeing. The goblins, writing on pads of parchment in front of them, the owls that kept swooping in and out of the windows at the top of the ceiling, the hundreds of doors that lined the walls, all leading to who knows where.

"Come on Lilith, follow me," Hermione called to her daughter, who was busy watching a wizard walk in carrying some sort of creature that looked like a cross between a bowling ball and a pillow.

Hermione and Lilith followed the goblin that was leading them, walking down a narrow passage that led to the cart. Piling in, the goblin muttered a few words and the cart shot forward, leaving Lilith holding on for dear life.

Careening madly around and between stalagmites and stalactites, the cart dashed downwards, carrying with it the goblin and two passengers. Finally coming to a stop in front of a vault, Hermione and Lilith got out.

Hermione put the key into the keyhole and pulled open the door, revealing piles upon piles of gold and silver.

"Wow," Lilith said in awe, "I never realized we were so rich."

"Well, we are, most of this was Harry's, left to him by his father, but a fair amount was from my salary. I haven't been here since I left, and the interest has really accumulated."

Hermione pulled out two money bags and filled them both with Galleons, Sickles and Knuts, hardly making a dent in the large piles of coins. She tucked both bags safely inside her purse and got back into the cart with Lilith.

* * * * *

Standing back outside Gringotts, Hermione looked around the changes in Diagon Alley from when she had last visited. Most of the stores were the same, Quality Quidditch Supplies remained, as did Flourish and Blott's, Madam Malkin's, Eeyops Owl Emporium and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. From her position on the top of the Gringott's steps, Hermione could watch the various magical people as they went about their business.

She could see families eating ice cream together, laughing happily; she could see old wizards searching the top shelves of Flourish and Blott's, using self-levitation spells to reach the books. Her eyes drifted over to Knockturn Alley, expecting to see the usual collection of shady looking characters, the type that in her previous life as an Auror she wouldn't have turned her back to.

Instead, however, Knockturn Alley was gone. She vaguely remembered Minerva mentioning that at some point, but she had never told Hermione what had replaced it. Motioning to Lilith, they walked down the steps and headed towards the old Knockturn Alley. In its place was a corridor of white marble that seemed to glow in the sunlight. The ground was covered in large silver tiles. Walking through the corridor, Hermione noticed that carved into the white marble and the silver tiles were words.

"Hey Mom, what's this?" Lilith asked, running her finger over the words.

"I don't know, this is new, I've never seen this before."

Hermione squinted at the words carved into the marble. They weren't words she realized; they were names.

Maria Bones

Patrick Bones

Frank Longbottom

With a start, Hermione realized what this white corridor was.

"Lilith," Hermione said, turning towards her daughter who was looking at the names, "this is a memorial, probably in honor of all the witches and wizards who lost their lives fighting the dark forces."

"But, Mom, look how long this is, there must be hundreds or thousands of names here," Lilith said, confused. "How many people could have died?"

Hermione looked at her daughter's face.

"Now, you understand perhaps, what drove me to leave this world," Hermione was speaking very softly; Lilith had to strain to hear her.

Lilith nodded. "Mom, wouldn't Dad's name be here?"

Hermione looked down at her feet, her vision getting blurry. She noticed the words on the silver tile she was standing on.

Ronald Weasley

"The Best Son, Brother, or Friend Anyone Could Ever Wish For"

In honor of Ron, who was murdered in Hogsmeade by a Death Eater. The highest praise goes to Ron, who died to save the life of his best friend, Harry Potter. We miss you.

Tears began to fall from Hermione's eyes. Leaning against the white wall, she buried her face in her light jacket. Lilith put her arms around her mother, hugging her close.

* * * * *

An hour or so later, Hermione and Lilith exited the corridor, refreshed.

"So, Lilith, your choice, what do you want to get first?"

"A wand, absolutely, a wand."

"I agree, I need to buy one as well," Hermione grinned, "though I doubt Mr. Ollivander will be too thrilled with how I treated my last one."

They entered Mr. Ollivander's store, Maker of Fine Wands since 382 BC. Lilith once again was amazed by the interior, by the thousands of boxes lining the walls of the narrow and shabby shop. Hermione stood nervously, holding onto the back of the chair.

"Greetings, greetings, good afternoon, my name is Mr. Ollivander, how may I help you?" Mr. Ollivander seemed to Apparate into the middle of his shop, his silver eyes gleaming as he looked over his customers. Looking at Hermione's eyes which were hidden behind her sunglasses, a flash of recognition passed over his face.

"Ms. Granger, I believe. What a pleasure to see you again, it's been a long time since you were in these parts. I take it you and your daughter, Lilith is it?, need new wands. Well, I'll just be needing your daughter's measurements."

He gestured with his hand and his magic tape measure began measuring Lilith. Mr. Ollivander himself began scuttling around the room, selecting various boxes from the shelves.

"Hermione, we'll just be starting with you, it will be easier as you are already attuned to the use of a wand, now just try this one."

He put a wand into her hand and immediately her arm began to tingle pleasantly just as purple and silver sparks shot out of the end.

"Perfect, perfect," Mr. Ollivander clapped his hands together, "9'', unicorn hair and cherry wood, the same as your old wand."

"Thank you sir," Hermione said as she handed the money to Mr. Ollivander. "Would you mind if I tried some quick spells; I haven't done any magic in 11 years."

"Oh no, not at all, not at all, I'll just fit Lilith to a wand while you practice."

Hermione opened her purse, pulling out a pen. Mumbling a few words to herself, she levitated the pen a few feet in the air before tapping it, turning it into a white hamster. The hamster looked around itself wildly, wondering what happened to the ground, but before it had a chance to get its bearings, it was a pen again.

Lilith clapped.

"Nice work Mom, that's so cool, do you think I could do that?"

"Not yet, darling, not yet," Hermione said, laughing as she tucked her new wand into a pocket of her robes, "it'll take a while before you get to that level of Transfigurations."

Meanwhile, Mr. Ollivander was trying a large selection of various wands, none of them suiting him. Muttering to himself, he scrambled around the store, reaching to the far back of shelves to find wands he had not yet tried on Lilith.

"Ebony and unicorn, no, try this, willow and phoenix, not that one either, maple and dragon heartstring, still no."

Just then, Mr. Ollivander jumped up and ran into the back of his shop, coming back with a battered white case containing just one wand.

"Now, just try this, I think it might.."

Mr. Ollivander was cut off as a large burst of gold sparks exploded from the end of the wand.

"I though that might be the one."

"What is so special about that wand, it doesn't look unique," Hermione took the wand into her hands, examining it.

"Oh, it isn't anything special, as far as wands go, but in your family I believe it carries a fair amount of significance."

Hermione and Lilith looked at him inquisitively.

"You see, ladies, that wand is holly and phoenix."

* * * * *

They completed their shopping for the day, Lilith thrilled at all her new belongings, and Hermione thrilled that no one had recognized her, though she had attracted a few second glances from the older wizards and witches.

Hermione and Lilith were sitting in the Leaky Cauldron at the corner table, Hermione with her back to the crowd.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"What did that weird guy in the wand shop mean when he said my wand was holly and phoenix. Why should that matter?"

Hermione sighed, "Your father's wand was holly and phoenix, as was Voldemort's."

"Does that mean I have the same wand they did?"

"No, not at all, the feather in your wand comes from a different phoenix than theirs did."

"Oh, that's kinda cool that I have the same type of wand as Dad did."

"Yeah, it is kinda cool," Hermione smiled slightly.

They finished eating and Hermione went to pay the bill. She began chatting with the witch at the counter, who, it turns out, was from Norway, while Lilith sat on a chair, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Hey Mom," Lilith called. "Can I go take a walk around, it's so nice outside."

"Sure, have fun, but be back in an hour, I'll be in our room doing some work."

* * * * *

Lilith sat on a bench in the middle of Diagon Alley, holding her new wand in her hands, watching the people go by. Diagon Alley, Lilith had decided, was the best place for people-watching. She had already seen an old warlock walking down the street carrying what appeared to be a mutant ostrich, as well as a fair number of boys her age who were marveling at the broomsticks in the window of one of the shops.

Although she had spent her entire day in the Alley, she was still amazed by it. The shops lined the way selling things she had never known existed. She decided to take a closer look at some of the shops she had missed before. Walking around a corner, she noticed a small shop hidden between two larger ones. She had not come down this way before with her mother; Lilith doubted that her mother even knew these shops were here. Lilith opened the door to the smaller shop. As she closed the door behind her something squawked loudly.

The walls were lined with open boxes and displays, selling such things as Dungbombs and Canary Creams.

Cool, what are these things? Mom didn't mention anything like this

"Can I help you with anything?" A girl Lilith's age stood behind her. The girl had bright red hair and freckles and looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh no, I'm just looking, what are these things?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, what are Canary Creams, is this a bakery?"

The girl laughed. "No, this is a joke shop, those are pastries that turn the eater into a canary for a few minutes, my dad and uncle invented them."

"Awesome, that sounds so cool. Sorry if I seem a little confused by all this magic, I was raised a Muggle, my mom was a witch, but she never told me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the girl's eyes widened. "A Muggle? You lived as a Muggle? That's awesome, did you have a telly vizin."

"A what?"

"A telly vizin, you know, the talking Muggle box."

Lilith looked at the strange girl for a few moments before she realized what the girl was talking about. "Oh, a television. Yes, of course we did, all Muggles do."

"Cool, I like studying Muggle things. My grandpa, he used to be the Minister of Magic, and I like learning about all those electricity thingamabobs. It annoys my grandmother to no end, my grandfather is great at it though, he even made his car fly once."

"Fly? That's so cool, I wish my mom's car could fly, it would help a lot in traffic jams."

"I could show it to, if you want," the girl stuck out her hand, "my name's Celia, by the way."

"I'm Lilith," the two girls shook hands.

"Lilith, hmm, do I know you from somewhere?" Celia asked, examining Lilith's face.

"I don't think so," Lilith said. "I've lived in New York City from when I was 5 and I've been living as a Muggle."

"Oh, what about before you were 5?"

"I lived in the magical world, but my mom never really talked about it so I don't remember anything much. I barely even remember my dad."

"Why not? I can remember some thing from when I was younger than 5, that's why I think I remember you from somewhere."

"I'm not really sure, my mom said it was a really difficult time in the magical world and then my dad died. I think it's called repression or something, when someone forgets bad memories."

"Oh," Celia replied, "hey, do you want to go out for a walk? It's my cousin's turn to watch the store."

"Sure, why not?"

Celia ran to the counter, hitting the bell. An older boy, who looked to be about 20, came out of the back room holding a wand. The boy was wearing a pair of goggles to protect his eyes, when he took them off he looked like a raccoon; there was smoke all on his face except where the goggles had been. He also had red hair, but Lilith couldn't tell if he had freckles or not, there was too much smoke to see his skin.

"Hey, James, I'm going to go out for a walk." Celia reached for a cloak hanging on the wall. "This means you have to watch the store."

"Fine, I'll just clean up the workroom."

Celia laughed. "Why bother? My dad never does."

"I know, and that's why I can never find anything."

"Suit yourself."

Lilith and Celia exited the store and walked down the Alley.

"So, Celia, what's your favorite place here?" Lilith asked.

"Hmm, I like the joke shop a lot, but the Magical Menagerie is also great."

"I know, my mom and I bought an owl there this morning."

"Sweet, what kind was it?"

"A great big snowy white owl, my mom named it Hedwig Jr."

"Why Junior, who was the original?"

"I have no clue, it might have been her first owl though."

* * * * *

An hour later, Lilith and Celia headed back to the Leaky Cauldron so Lilith wouldn't be late.

"Hey, Celia, before I go, can I ask you one last question?"

"What is it? If I know the answer, I'll tell you."

"Okay, what is that white corridor? My mom said it was a memorial, but do you know anything more about it?"

Celia sighed. "Yes, I do. It was built after the war to honor all those who had died fighting this war and every war in the past. The Minister of Magic at the time, my grandfather, had the idea to build it after he went to America and saw something like it there."

"Yeah, I thought it looked like the Vietnam Memorial."

"Right, that's the one. Anyway, it's called the Road of Heroes."

"What are the silver tiles for?"

"Those are special. Only people who got special honors have their names on them."

"Special honors? What are those?"

"They were given to active soldiers or civilians who died to protect others or to people who were killed because they refused to give away classified information."

"I see."

Just then the reached the Leaky Cauldron. Celia was going to hang out for a bit with Lilith because she was waiting for her aunt, who lived in Hogsmeade, to come pick her up. Celia was going to visit her aunt, uncle and little baby cousin who was only 3 years old. Lilith and Celia sat down on some of the navy poof chairs in the lounge area.

"What's your aunt like?" Lilith asked. She had never had any relatives of her own except her mother and grandparents and she loved to hear about other people's family.

"Well, she's really cool. Her name's Virginia, but everyone calls her Ginny, she's a reporter for the Daily Prophet"

"The Daily Prophet? What's that?"

"Oh, it's the name of the wizarding newspaper. My aunt Ginny writes the weekly commentary on what the Ministry did that week."

"Sounds fascinating," Lilith said sarcastically.

"I know it sounds boring, but she gets to interview all these people and travel a lot."

"Well, I guess that makes it a little bit better. You said she was married, right? What's your uncle do?"

"Oh, well, Uncle Nev used to be an Auror, that's what we call people who fight against the Dark Forces, but I think he's going to teach at Hogwarts next year."

"What subject? I think my mom's going to teach there too"

"Probably Herbology, they have this awesome garden in the back of their house. What about your mom?"

"Charms, I think she's also going to be the head of the Gryffindor House."

"Wow, that's really cool, what did you say your mom's name was again?"

Just then, Celia was interrupted by Hermione, who had just come downstairs looking for Lilith.

"Lilith," Hermoine called, "where in the world have you been? You're half an hour late."

"Calm down Mom, geez, I'm 15 years old; I can take care of myself, there's no need to be paranoid."

Hermione glared at her daughter, her hands on her hips, but was distracted by Celia running to the door to hug her aunt who had just arrived.

"Oof, Celia, calm down" Ginny said, taking a step backwards after being hugged by Celia, "It's nice to see you too, dear."

Hermione was staring at the woman who had just walked in through the door.

"Hey, guess what?" Celia asked her aunt. "I met a new friend today, she's going to Hogwarts too."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Lilith."

Ginny turned to look at Lilith, but was distracted by the woman standing a little behind her. Ginny opened and closed her mouth several times, having been rendered speechless by the shock. "Hermione? Is it really you?" Ginny asked, wrapping her arms around her long lost friend.