Sweet Resolve

And do you want to find

Something worth saving?

The change would do me right,

'Cause I've been just waiting
And hesitating,

With this heart of mine

~~~

Harry hadn't slept at all. He sat in bed all night, allowing his thoughts to run through his mind, trampling over logic and sense and instinct; making him more and more confused. He fucking began to trust Draco, and it led to such a revelation: Harry should have known better.

Draco had never said he was not on the Dark side. God, it was all Harry. He was completely naïve. Fucking stupid mind! He didn't even have his friends anymore... no one to talk to him, explain to him how he could have completely misread Dra-Malfoy, MALFOY! Which was surprising, because Harry was a typically good judge of character... well at least to this point he was.

How did Malfoy do it? How did he weave his way into Harry's mind? How was he the only one Harry could put up with? How come Harry wasn't perceptive to any scheming? Ahh forget it, no more thinking about it, NONE!

Harry had other things to do now. He had mastered Occlumency, so those sessions with Snape would soon be over. But if Snape really believed they would spend the rest of their time finding Harry horrid forms of detention, well Snape wasn't as smart as he let on. Harry had other plans. He would just have to obtain a book, and then he would get himself a tutor... and Snape seemed well versed in the dangerously beautiful forms of the Dark Arts...

Groggily Harry tumbled out of bed, washed up, and headed to breakfast before anyone else was even up. He would be gone before the other kids would file in, and he would not be witness to the great rift that had settled in his own house. He would not see Hermione joining the Ravenclaws, and he would not see Ron nod to Blaise across the hall as he stuffed scrambled eggs in his mouth.

~~~

"Although we won't begin until next week, I want to tell you exactly what you will be learning next week." Finally Professor Zalameen was getting to the interesting stuff, and Draco perked up a bit. He had a horrible time of trying to get Harry to look at him; he had only looked up once to mouth to Draco, "Fuck off" and then settled his head back down to take notes. Draco had put on his most charming face, then his most pleading, and then his most angry.

He would have passed notes or some such but really, that was beneath the Malfoy Code. Ha.. The code his father had completely forsaken it felt...

Anyway, Draco snapped back into focus. He would have to target Harry later, he was really curious about the new defense spell.

"Now, this isn't really considered a defense. Hehe, it isn't entirely considered anything because it hasn't really become of use. You may think that it is an utterly huge waste of time then, but no, it isn't. You have just learned some of the toughest theories behind magic that anyone could study, which is why this spell will end up being very important." She was very good at getting everyone's attention, mostly because she didn't dilly-dally.

"It is an intricate collection of spells woven into one. One that will send powers from the caster into the person he or she casts it on. In other words, it is a strength binder, an energy enforcer, or better yet, a magic melder."

Hermione's hand shot up. "Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Well didn't we learn, or read, that bonding the magic of two people could have disastrous effects? I mean technically that's what happened to V-V--You -Know-Who and Harry." Hermione felt chills thinking what Goyle could potentially do to her by accident. Harry glanced up to see Ron roll his eyes at Hermione's expected questioning.

"Very astute, Ms. Granger. That is very true, indeed. Which is why this is still so experimental. Rest assured I will not be having you cast the full-fledged charm on your partner, but you will take bits and pieces, and see how far we can get.

"Just imagine, if done correctly, how amazing and awesome it would be, rather than disastrous?"

All the students felt a tingle of excitement, and started to chatter about the spell while the professor readied some supplies to continue the lesson with. Draco just stared at Harry, but this time Harry was completely unresponsive to Draco's gaze. His own green eyes were fixed upon something behind the professor. There were many things back there, so Draco had no idea what had Harry so hypnotized.

Suddenly Harry turned to Draco, and said, "I'll be late tonight, at the library. I have something to take care of first." The tone was so unemotional and succinct that Draco almost winced, but put on a straight face.

"Fine. If your Highness could grace me with your presence as early as possible, we have some things to discuss. I don't want to cut into my beauty sleep." Sarcasm, sweet sarcasm, it was the only thing that covered Draco's trembling anxiety. But Potter made no show of even hearing Draco.

What the hell was Potter up to?

~~~

The class had continued uneventfully. Harry for the first time had noticed how cold Ron and Hermione were with each other, and how that divided the entire Gryffindor class. Harry was even more surprised to see Ron actually getting along with Blaise Zabini, and it worried him. Ron would eye Zabini with an air probing curiosity, as if there was so much he wanted to know, to learn from the freak. Interestingly, now he could see what Ron had been feeling when Harry himself had been relatively civil with Malfoy, but that was all in the past.

It irritated him now that the whispers had begun again. Just after one day, everyone knew that he and Malfoy had some kind of altercation. He overheard some of the murmurs, and it riled him up inwardly that all they fucking cared about was that someone pulled a reaction out of him again finally. It happened so rarely, but still! Who the fucking hell cares...

Oh but it's better this way, he had to remind himself. Harry was preparing himself, and the more unfeeling he could be, or at least act, the less ammunition Voldemort would have. So long as he showed that he didn't care one single bit about the people he claimed as his family for years, then maybe that would weaken Voldemort's resources. Surely there were spies everywhere, reporting his sudden lackadaisical demeanor.

The more reports, the better.

Now, hours later, Harry was just departing from the Magical Healing elective he had chosen this year. Unlike the previous years, Harry finally put some forethought into his studies, not just going with whatever Ron had decided. That ship had sailed anyway.

Magical Healing. It was something that fascinated him- the art of restoring the body. But more importantly, Harry knew it was vital to his own existence. With a war fast approaching and the most anticipated duel of the Wizarding world in his midst, Harry was on a mission to learn as much as he possibly could.

Surprisingly, retaining knowledge had actually become somewhat easier in the past few weeks. Either that, or Harry's brain was starting to function properly now that he was putting it to some use. The useful spells and in depth exercises, potions, and tools he was experimenting with in Madam Pomfrey's course were already being put to use, though he wasn't entirely sure how this worked.

Somehow, in his dream, Harry was able to relieve his body of aches and pains, and heal wounds and scrapes while he demolished the wall. It intrigued him... intrigued him on so many levels. He still could not escape the daunting reality that this was no ordinary dream, it was as if he existed in a parallel universe for those moments. If that were the case, if he existed in another place, in another world, wouldn't someone have seen if his body disappeared during the night? But apparation was not possible inside of Hogwarts, and Harry didn't know how to do it anyway. And no one ever reported him missing like that as it were...

But it had to be real, if it was utilizing all the work and knowledge Harry had obtained day by day. Harry surmised that some form of magic was at work, because it had to be real. Which led him to the most baffling question of all (aside from what the hell lay behind the stupid wall): How was he performing wandless magic so easily? All the healing spells were done with a snap of his fingers. He couldn't use magic on the wall, but on anything else, namely himself, he could. It was rather disconcerting.

Harry broke free from his thoughts to find himself outside the DADA classroom.

Exactly where he wanted to be.

Harry knocked tentatively, looking around, hoping no one was inside the classroom, or around. When he heard no one respond, he cracked open the door, to peer inside. Bingo! Zalameen was at dinner... just like everyone else.

Minutes later, Harry slipped out, again unnoticed, and practically ran down the hall in a mixture of pride of anticipation. He didn't pause to wonder how he knew how to duplicate objects so effortlessly; he just did it and snuck out.

Harry ran all the way back to the dorms, all the while formulating the words he would lay at Professor Snape's feet, in hopes for acquiescence. As for tonight, well he would go to the kitchens before heading to the library... to face Malfoy. God what did that bastard want to talk about now? Nothing short of rancor flowed through the great-wizard-to-be's blood when he thought of Malfoy. Why did it even matter though... why did it matter?

~~~

"Ron, what in heaven's name are you doing??" Ginny pleaded with her brother, trying to get him to stay with the Gryffindors at dinner. He just ripped his arm out of her grasp, gave her a look that clearly said he knew exactly what he was doing, and seconds later found himself seated next to Blaise Zabini with the Slytherins.

Needless to say, the entire school was in shock. Ginny was trembling with a mixture of fear and anger; the rest of Ron's class looked on him with complete bewilderment. Hermione, still spending her time with Ravenclaws discussing Arithmancy, was beginning to hyperventilate. Neville, who had been receptive and understanding to a lot of the actions going on with his friends lately, was just as baffled- what did Ron hope to achieve?? Was he trying to throw his act in Harry's face? But Harry wasn't even here...

And oddly, most of the Slytherins either ignored him or were smirking in a way that invited Ron to smirk back.

Only Malfoy would not accept this. Blaise had gone too far. TOO FAR.

"Weasel, why do you find yourself worthy enough to sit with the Slytherins, when you aren't even good enough company for that mudblood smartass of yours?"

Weasel was glowing red already, and was about to respond when Blaise cut in. "I've asked him to join me, because Mr. Weasley has only just found out recently that some people have so much more to offer."

Draco arched an eyebrow, shifting his gaze from Blaise back to the Gryffindor traitor. "Oh? And what pray tell has Mr. Zabini offered you? He couldn't possibly have granted you as much popularity as Potter, which you so obviously have lusted after for so many years. Nor could this have been payback to your golden ex-friend. Because, really? He's not even here, and I doubt he has even noticed your little spat with Granger... So what was it? Sexual favors? Because I can tell you, Zabini lacks a lot in that department." The last sentence he announced for the entire Hall to hear, creating a wave of sniggering.

Blaise had turned almost as red as his new buddy, but held is composure long enough to say, "What can be said of your own skills, considering even Potter wasn't pleased with you?" Draco just rolled his eyes, sat back down, and resumed eating.

He held one more long hard stare at Ron, who was shaking only slightly by the warning in Draco's tone. "Make sure you know exactly what your heading towards, Weasley." Ron blinked, and Draco added, "I don't want you getting in my way."

Draco was afraid for a split second that someone would have picked up that he could be warning the weasel about Blaise's allegiance, so he threw in the last comment. Hopefully, judging by the clown-head's miraculous blink of an eye, the boy picked up on the meaning.

Hermione turned once to frown at Ron, though he would not catch her eye, but she was stunned to see that Malfoy was watching her instead. She blinked and he was looking away. Had she imagined it?

~~~

Draco wasn't quite sure what he was going to tell Potter tonight. How the hell was he supposed to explain without giving too much of himself away? And how was he supposed to keep himself awake at the library, when the past few nights he had barely slept at all. A conglomeration of horrific images continued to play in his sleeping mind, and Draco wanted no part in it.

However he needed to get some rest, unless he wanted to exacerbate the crevice that had formed between Potter and himself by mumbling some more in his dreams.

No, it would not do for a Malfoy to lose that control more than once, if at all.

So Draco reluctantly and groggily pulled himself up the steps to his dormitory room, and was swept into a torrent of slumber.

He was looking down upon himself, in a field behind his house. The startling beauty of the trees, almost as vibrant a green as Potter's eyes, contrasted mystically against the blinding oranges of the setting sun. The irony was not lost on Draco as he watched himself cast dark spell after dark spell on the poor captive. As the victim screamed from the Cruciatus curse erupting from Draco's wand, a ghastly blackness slowly oozed from the muggle, capturing everything in its path. Mesmerizing flowers and trees were soon nothing but a black hole. Dream Draco stopped the curse and looked around, observing how much had been engulfed. One of his tutors stepped forward, leaning over the unconscious muggle and lifted his own mask- Blaise sneered at Draco, a look of sheer malevolence dripping from his eyes, as he commented, "Won't go through with it, will you?"

With that, Blaise stood, threw the Imperius on the muggle, and instructed him to snap his own neck. Flying Draco's eyes widened in horror at the words, but shut just as quickly to block the hideous sight. He couldn't escape the sound though. The haunting SNAP! And then a thud on the puddle of black.

Blaise turned to Dream Draco again, and said, "And so goes the Malfoy code... you couldn't conquer this measly muggle, so I have no choice but to kill you, old friend." There was no regret in his tone, and he raised his wand to Draco's chest. The eyes that watched from above turned and flew as swiftly as possible up towards the infinite sky, towards the glowing star above. The beautiful blue star... He blocked everything out from his mind and approached the orb rapidly... and soon Draco flew right into consciousness.

"Ahhh, ahhh... oh god... aahh..." He panted and gasped for air, never feeling so weak and horrified before. He turned and fumbled for his watch, he had fifteen minutes until his meeting with Potter. He had to get a hold of himself.

Goyle had entered the room, and looked upon Draco with an expression of concern. He tentatively asked, "Draco, are you feeling ok? Uhh want a glass of water or something?"

Draco snapped but then recovered, "FINE, I'm FINE! Umm...Yeah ok a glass of water, thanks." He drew a deep breath and by the time Goyle had returned he was back to his composed princely demeanor.

"Thank you Greg."

"No problem. I heard a noise, and thought I should check on you. You should be going soon anyway huh?" Draco was surprised that Greg actually knew his schedule, but then seeing as how he had not faltered in his meetings with Potter or his solitary study sessions himself, it was no wonder. Still, the boy wasn't as dim as Draco thought.

"Yeah, got to grace the prince of Gryffindor with my presence. Bloody bastard, one should be so lucky..."

Goyle smiled, thankful his roommate was back to normal. Goyle had no idea what was going on with anyone- Blaise, Weasley, Draco, Potter- but as long as Draco had a handle on things, he knew things would turn out all right.

"By the way Goyle, it seems Granger is rubbing off on you. At least you're attentive enough to know when I come and go, and from what I hear, you were actually explaining something to Pansy the other day??"

"Oh, yeah, well she just didn't get the potion, I thought I would help. It was nothing really..." Draco noted that Goyle, although not mentioning Granger's name at all, did not recoil from her name, or insult her. Interesting.

With that, Draco collected his belongings and strode to the library. Let the games begin.

~~~

There were very few people in the library that night, most students relishing the little time they had left before the onset of finals approached.

Draco found his usual table, isolated from the rest of the room, and settled in, pulling his gryffin assignment and notes out.

He would never admit it to anyone, but he was starting to find this particular project somewhat fascinating. Learning how the spirits of each animal intertwined to enhance their respective powers, building off of the nobility of each, and combining eagle's wisdom and the lion's courage, somehow made Draco feel... respectful to the natural world. Magic apparently worked in all arenas, not just the human realm.

Blond hair swayed gently back and forth as Draco perused the articles he had located, and he was only aware of Harry's presence when a shadow fell on his notes.

Looking up, silver eyes caught emerald ones and the library seemed to dissolve... but then Draco blinked.

"So, you decided to show up finally. What did the lord of the school have to do that was so urgent?"

Harry was not about to tell Draco that he had been reading up on a little project of his own concerning an item he had recently acquired, courtesy of Zalameen's classroom, so he deftly answered, "None of your business, Malfoy."

Draco was suddenly acutely aware of how angry Harry must still be, considering his cold unwelcoming demeanor. Harry suddenly lost all hostility, but was left with nothing written on his face, and Draco understood that Harry was showing him just how blasé Harry could be towards him.

"Look, Potter, just take out your notes and let's finish this up. There isn't much left to do but write everything out." Harry just stared blankly as he removed his books and sat down.

They worked silently, Draco occasionaly pointing out a mistake or asking a question here and there. Those were the only times Harry ever spoke, and he never even raised his eyes to meet Draco's. He had had enough of the beautiful Slytherin.

Draco found something that intrigued him. "Ha-Potter, did you know that humans can carry an animal essence as well? It can be the source of some of their most notable traits..." Draco was trying to draw Harry into conversation, so he could press further with his explanation.

Harry just nodded and remarked, "so you must have the soul of a ferret then." A few days ago this would have been taking lightly, but Draco felt the sting, and couldn't take it any longer. He sat up and grabbed Harry's robes with his fist, pulling him face to face. Harry reacted with sudden shock, and then anger carved its way on his stony expression.

"Listen Potter, cut it out! I didn't think I had to explain anything to you, because first of all, you never bothered to ask me about anything this whole year. So whatever thoughts I did, and do harbor, was never your concern or business to begin with!" Draco spat at Harry, who was about to bark back but was cut off.

"I'm not finished!" He hissed. "I've gone through a lot this summer, a whole lot more than you could imagine, and though I know you had your own set of troubles, don't think you're the only one who has had any!" With that he sat back down in his seat, releasing Harry from his grasp.

Harry looked up into the steely eyes while his own glowed. "I don't give a damn about your troubles Malfoy. If I did I would feel remorse for putting your father in prison, but as it were, he's a fucked up bastard and SO. ARE. YOU."

Draco was aware of a deep humming sound coming from some distance. Something inside him made him believe it was not just a student studying in another corner of the library.

"Potter. Listen to me. If it were up to me, my father would stay in prison. For all time. But listen... ok look, listen. You cannot, CANNOT tell this to anyone. I just...." Draco sighed, taking out the letter from his mother, debating with himself whether to tell Potter, who had relented and sat back to listen. Deciding to lay it all on the line, he handed Harry the note.

"I just found out my father has escaped. I'm sure it will be in the news soon anyway. Likely he is back home, and preparing to make my life a living hell... again." Draco paused, and looked up at the ceiling, a mist clouding his radiant eyes. If Harry didn't know any better he thought Draco might cry, but Draco would never allow such a thing.

The dark humming turned into a melancholy tune, almost flute-like. Harry regarded his partner, seemingly for the first time. "Potter, I went through hell this summer, and I vowed to myself that I would not let anyone, ANYONE take control of what is rightfully mine. More specifically, my mind, my life." Harry just nodded... a good sign, thought Draco. "Now my father is out, and he'll expect me to ... do things for him. And seeing as how I find his entire livelihood a joke, a smear on the Malfoy name, I would prefer not to. I don't know what I said in my dream, but believe me, you probably heard just bits and pieces, and misunderstood. I'm not saying I'm against Voldemort, I'm definitely not saying I'm with him either. I'm just saying that... He doesn't exactly fit into the vision of my future, not yet. And neither do his pathetic minions, including my father."

Draco sighed, and started to play involuntarily with the stunning white amulet hanging around his neck. He stared at Harry, whose eyes had gone into a blank stare, revealing nothing. But Draco continued to probe.

Harry wanted to believe him, because then this whole year could make sense again. He wanted to look into those gray orbs of sadness, and find nothing but truth in these words. He wanted so desperately to have someone to trust... even if he couldn't confide in anyone, he wanted to know there was someone who firmly trusted him. Trusted him with their issues and beliefs. Because then he could feel like it was worth it.

Harry closed his eyes, and searched deep within his cobwebbed heart, finding the strength of his father, the love of his mother, and the friendship of his godfather. He hoped that when he opened his eyes, he would find the truth of his partner.

He opened his eyes.

And it hit him like a goblin's club right in the face. The words from Draco's dream flooded into his consciousness... Nothing but a lackey... I don't need you...Lucius! Harry!... He had called his father by his first name. Obviously a bad sign. He had called Harry by his first name. Obviously a good sign.

Why hadn't Harry paid attention to that before? But it didn't matter now. That was all in the past.

He looked away from Draco's beseeching gaze, and down to his essay. "What were you saying about animal spirits in humans, Draco?" The tone was apathetic, but the meaning was blatantly clear.

Draco sat back, with the tiniest grin playing on his lips.