Sweet Resolve

Evil is what you are, As well as being sharp. I fuckin' feel to it. I'm in an evil town.

~~~

Draco was numbed to the core, feeling nothing, and seeing no one with his vacant, almost translucent eyes as he returned to the Slytherin dorms. He had spent hours in the library, his essence robbed of all its wealth just to find the energy to raise himself out of the chair. When he had regained his composure, he quickly found a first year and hexed her with shrunken legs for even daring to stare at him. That made him feel a little better. But it didn't solve any of his problems, problems that seemed to multiply with the swish of a wand. Draco wanted to hurtle something out of the window and hear the shattering glass splinter and snap in millions of pieces, so that he could witness something suffer the same chaotic undoing that was going on in his mind.

How could he have fallen asleep?!? And dreamt of father, no less! A Malfoy never loses control, least of all in his sleep, so what was becoming of Draco? He had no intention whatsoever of falling and changing in such a drastic and unfitting manner. It needed to stop, come to an end, but now Potter hated him, would never trust him with just his presence again. There was no denying that a curtain had been lifted between them, revealing an ocean much calmer than the one they both had traveled against for years. Now he was forced back into a tempest, losing his footing completely.

No, something had to be done. He would just have to take it a step further now: a step that could prove to be monumental or devastating.

Without realizing it, Draco had shoved a lowly third year out of the armchair near the fire of the common room, and settled in to melt into his thoughts. The unraveling had begun before dinner.

~~~

He had been lounging peacefully in the common room before dinner, in the plush armchair, studying the new DADA spell they would be encountering soon. Zalameen still hadn't informed them of the experimental endeavor they would embark upon next week, but she did direct them to selected readings that would give better understanding. Apparently it had something to do with unification. Very interesting how the classes do seem linked. Unification here, and with the bloody lion and eagle shit... could they be any more obvious?

Draco was interrupted by the arrival of none other than Blaise, coming down from the dorm room, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. Throughout the year Draco had dismissed their company, opting for solitude or the study meetings with Potter. They had even sat together during the Hogsmeade weekend. Draco could not help but notice that Potter was not altogether unattractive, especially when the wind breathed life into his unruly locks, and the slight sheen of sweat across his brow trickled slowly down his face, making love to his curved cheeks. Fuck fuck fuck, stop that, Harry isn't cute at all, not adorable, not handsome, not rugged, no... he's just being Harry.

Draco groaned inwardly; he could not afford to let these ridiculous emotions take control of him, to jeopardize the promising situation.

"- Lord is planning something magnificent. Nothing any of you could imagine!" Blaise was touting about his precious Lord again this fucking week. Draco originally had doubts which way Blaise swayed, but now it was blaringly obvious where Blaise's allegiance resided.

Pansy cooed next to Blaise. "Oh Blaise, dear, do tell, do tell..." Her fingers caressed Blaise's neck, who was completely receptive to the pug-faced blond now that she had given up on Draco.

"Well, love," he leered glancing at Draco, "You didn't hear it from me, but he is planning on getting the giants to stage an attack on Hogwarts, possibly, or maybe he will get the Dementors to .. uhh... storm the train and attack all the mudblood students.. or..."

Draco had enough.

"Zabini, I don't know what astounds me more: that you would willingly divulge all the Dark Lord's secrets, or that you assume you are being convincing with your foolishly made-up schemes. And for what, a quick lay with the Slytherin sleaze?" Pansy huffed and threw an obscene glare at Draco.

"Well Malfoy, better Slytherin sleaze, sorry baby, than Gryffindor goody-goodies. Tell me, how are your 'study sessions' with Precious Potter going? Have you been able to get a rise out of him?"

"Oh the Golden Boy is definitely performing just as I expected, and much more. Rest assured though, I have plans you could never hope to imagine, so I request you leave my 'time' spent with Potter out of it. Doesn't take away from the fact that you are a brainless canine kisser." Draco rose to leave, heading for dinner. He smirked at hearing Pansy stifle a sob.

Blaise was losing his temper. Draco had turned his joke against him, and now dared to throw his superiority around. He advanced on Draco, grabbing his arm. "I advise you, Malfoy, to remember where your loyalties lie."

Draco noted how, in contrast with previous years, Blaise had become more outspoken, more forward, as if he had something to show of himself now. Well well, it seems I'm not the only one who had an eventful summer. Draco eyed the hand that held tightly to his forearm, then sneered at Blaise.

"I advise you, Zabini, to unhand me at this instant, and never touch me again, or else you could be missing that precious arm of yours." Draco saw the instantaneous flash of fear flit across Blaise's face. He was just able to control the urge to clutch his forearm in protection.

He unhanded Draco, and watched with hateful eyes as the Slytherin prince strode out, feeling at once triumphant and anxious.

So we have a resident Death Eater...

~~~

Draco would never admit it, but he had hoped to see Harry at dinner. The boy had become an outlet; an outside experience from the hubbub of school life. He took pleasure in seeing if the boy made any progress, or more likely, what kinds of games were being played at Gryffindor each day. Had he thought about it harder, he would have realized what he enjoyed was seeing Harry surpass all their pathetic efforts at harassing him.

Today however, the green-eyed monster was nowhere to be found. Instead, dinner theatre of the usual kind of was being performed for all the students and teachers.

"I can't take this much longer Ron! Don't go fucking pushing Harry farther! Just let him find his way back!"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! How much longer can this even go on?? Harry is lost! He's gone! He doesn't give a rat's ass! And you and I both know where he could be getting it from!" Ron made no attempt in hiding his glare at Draco, who simply looked back with innocent eyes, though his mind was raging with fury.

"ARGH! You think Dumbledore would just pair them up and not monitor things?? You think we all are inept in watching for anything related to the Dark Ar- Oh stop glaring Ron! Just stop it!"

"No this is it! Fuck him for leaving us! And Fuck Malfoy for messing with him! Oi! Malfoy, get your ass here!" Draco looked affronted by Weasley's undignified proclamation.

"No Weasel, I dare say I won't. You lot can work out your lover's spat on your own." Had Weasley not already gone red from the yelling, he would have reddened from that statement.

Granger on the other hand, turned to Malfoy with contempt, and strode over. Malfoy caught a glimpse of Longbottom slipping out of the hall when he thought no one was looking. Wonder where he's off to?... Ahh but Granger cut his thoughts short.

"Listen here Malfoy, if you dare, I mean even dare try a thing on Harry, I will personally hex your hair to the bushy brown glory you so love to hate, and make you wish you had the chance to procreate before I'm through with you." Draco smirked from sheer amusement, and then waved her off without a second's glance, and continued eating. She just harrumphed and strode back to Ron who looked sheepish for not doing that himself.

"There, Ronald Weasley - you can see I am actually thinking of everyone's well being here. You should try to do the same." She tried to sit down, but he wouldn't let her.

"Ha! Blinded! You all are! Blind FUCKING fools! You don't see him at night, looking around wearily as if he loathes the ground we walk on! You don't see him in the morning, clearly suffering from some type of dream that leaves him groaning and whimpering in pain, but still throws darts at any form of concern! You don't see his eyes get darker and darker! You don't see HIM! And I don't care anymore! I'm sick of it all, and I'm sick of you, Hermione." Ron's voice finally lowered. "I'm beginning to question your judgement, and I'm beginning to question this whole... ehh all of this!" He waved his hand around in a desperate manner, and sat down in exhaustion.

"Don't speak to me again." -CRACK!-- Granger slapped Weasley across the face, clearly hurt and angered by his scathing words, her contempt as bright as his hair was.

She walked out of the great hall, and the professors took great efforts in trying to quiet everyone down. Draco, for his part, sat back and wondered how long this rift would last, and whether it was in Harry's, in his own best interest. Stupid gits, so emotional and so completely blind, truly. Nothing seemed deeply wrong with the Potter, except for his indifference. But Draco began to wonder what these dreams were, until a stony gray eagle flew in and descended upon Malfoy, depositing a scroll, and departing with as much disdain as it had come.

Draco wondered what his mother could possibly want to tell him, so he undid the seal, and discreetly opened it up.

Your father has been relocated it seems. Take great care and don't forget to utilize your new glasses.

Love, Mother

Relocated, such a laughable word. Father had returned home. And he wanted mother to tell Draco that he needed to be watchful now, for new developments most likely. Splendid, that decrepit insane man was back home, expecting to take the reins of Draco's life once more. He knew not the meaning of glory and success, no matter what he had taught Draco. Draco would have to show his father just what it was.

Draco almost burned the letter on the spot, as was the protocol for all Malfoy correspondence, but a small package had fallen from within the scroll into his lap, and he noticed that further down the scroll was another quickly added note.

Draco- it is in your best interest to not speak of this to anyone. Keep this amulet. It has served me well, and I trust that when the time comes it will serve you just as well. Be wary, son.

~Mother

Draco slid the package into his robe pocket, deciding now would not be the best time to examine the contents, despite the fact that the entire school was still distracted by the pathetic argument at courtesy of Gryffindor Drama Incorporated. Everything seemed so out of its element this year, and Draco wasn't doing enough to set his own life straight.

Draco chastised himself for not being further along; everything was going too slowly. But Harry was so fragile even if he had the stonewall exterior...

Draco hadn't even been watching Snape all that closely. That would have to change. He peered towards the faculty table just in time to see Snape say something to Dumbledore and disappear behind a door.

Well, I'll just have to search for him, now won't I...

~~~

It turned out Snape was highly elusive. Draco darted all through the dungeons like a jungle cat searching for his prey, but to no avail. He had successfully tired himself out from exploring the school and thinking about how life would be now that father had returned.

Ever since that fateful day in the summer, Draco's shrine to his father had crumbled into a powdered mess- every passing day more of it blew away. He was disgusted with how little control Lucius had, trying to make up for it by harnessing Draco into his web of authority. Draco vowed he would never cower to the Dark Lord, but rather stand his ground. If a Malfoy had nothing else, he did have his Pride, and Draco firmly believed that pride was more valuable than subsequent riches due to nauseating servitude. Lord Voldemort, everyone would see that Draco Malfoy could not be trifled with; he was no one's pawn.

Maybe just maybe He would see that, and they would unite as the single greatest power ever. Draco chuckled, realizing he as writing himself an apparent death wish, much like Potter had...

Potter...

Of course! Draco smacked the wall in frustration for forgetting that Harry had detention with Snape. It was Tuesday... he always met with Snape on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. How could Draco forget?

Draco raced through the dungeons. Just as he turned the corner to Snape's office he almost collided with a door. The potions lab door. Swinging open.

Draco peered inside, but found no trace of anyone. Upon second look he found smudged footprints in the dust, and one of the tables slightly askew, as if someone bumped into it upon leaving. Draco's first thought was that only Potter could be that clumsy...

Which made him realize that Potter had to have been here, with Snape. But apparently he had moved the location of their detention, so Draco was foiled again. Blasted Snape and his hatred for Harry! Draco mused that he probably had Harry scrubbing one of the lavatories with a toothbrush while reciting to Snape the many uses of dungweed mold. Ugh. Draco shuddered.

With a resigned sigh, the gray-eyed boy composed himself and sauntered the library. No use wasting his time here, he would just have to find out what Harry and Snape's deal was later.

~~~

"Weasley, you annoying sod! Just read the chapter for once, so I don't have to explain the intricate delicacies of gryffin mating to you again! It shouldn't be a touchy subject for you, what with the litter your parents have amassed!"

Draco couldn't study under these conditions. Hearing Zabini and the Weasel go at it constantly was a pain, but ever the stubborn one, Draco refused to budge. Especially when he was sure he saw Zabini wink at him, Draco knew he would have to stand his ground, and not let that dumb-ass get the better of his study situation.

He braced himself for another hotheaded retort from the redhead, but was surprised instead.

"hehe.. Zabini, I just like seeing you squirm. I know it's tough reading about the sexual behavior of others when you aren't getting any yourself." The remark was an insult enough, but... Draco was appalled that it held very little malice, and, did the boy actually chuckle at first?!?

"Well well Weasley, it seems there's hope for you yet." With that Zabini and Weasley collected their things and headed out of the library. Zabini of course made a detour for Draco first.

"That Gryffindor clown is a bit too upset with Granger still, and isn't quite the buffoon I made him out to be. After all, it looks like he is befriending me. This could turn out very interesting." Blaise sneered, though not quite as fluidly as Draco did in reciprocation.

"Splendid Zabini. Maybe he can teach you a thing or two, and in no time we'll have redheaded jackasses running through the halls of Hogwarts. Now please, some of us plan to do work." And Draco dismissed Zabini with a simple wave who then snarled and stalked away.

Draco was entirely too disconcerted by the recent events that were stumbling into existence. He practically knew for a fact now that Blaise was a Death Eater, or soon to be, and it really would not be wise for Weasel to befriend the classless jerk. Not that Malfoy cared, but that would affect Potter, and he needed Potter to stay focused and not worry his pretty little head over even more issues. Weasley had better know what he was getting himself into, though Draco highly doubted that the pea-brained idiot had a clue.

And now his father was free. Merlin, he really did not want to be his father's lackey. He did not want the man to domineer over him and then shrivel in front of Voldemort. He didn't want anything to do with Lucius Malfoy.

And then what the hell was with his mother, daring to send a secondary note! How could she be so bold, so careless! Anyone could have intercepted it... which meant it was probably very important. Draco glanced around, seeing nothing but a few heads bent down over their studies at the right of him, and nothing but books upon books shielding him from the other side. He slid his hand and took out the package.

The brown wrapping gave way to a shimmering black box, which seemed to eat up all the light around it. Draco popped it open, and inside was a glowing white rock on a chain. He carefully lifted it so no one could see, and caressed the natural edges of the stone, noting that one side had been smoothed down, likely so it could rest peacefully against one's body.

The moment he touched it, Draco felt ... heavier. Not in a bad way, just in a more aware fashion. It was as if he was swimming in the air around him, and every movement he made created waves that rippled and reflected off the walls. He could have been in the deepest ocean swimming with sharks, or he could be soaring in the clouds above the rain. Draco liked the latter analogy more, and closed his eyes, imagining he was in fact amongst the clouds, diving in and out of them, pushing them away with a single breath. He could almost feel the moonlight kissing his back, capturing him in a warm embrace that reminded him of his childhood blanket. The moonlight glowed in his mind... wrapping him... guarding him... so comforting... Draco fell forward slowly, resting his head on his arms, and falling into a peaceful slumber.

~~~

Images of Voldemort towering over him. Visions of his mother curled down in pain. Mental pictures of Lucius kissing the hems of Voldemort's robes. The sight of Harry's emerald eyes radiant in the abysmal darkness. A vibrant growl. A piercing shriek.

Sights and sounds flooded Draco's head, and he screamed, trying to chase them away with his words, because he could not move. So he screamed and ranted and yelled... but he could not move... he felt alive and yet it seemed like he was dying. He could not move, and something was burning inside of him, a bright fire that was ignited and Draco could not, would not stop it from existing.

And then - SNAP!

Draco blinked and regarded his surroundings... only dimly aware that Harry was there, peering over him in concern, while thoughts raced through his mind and warped that concern...

into shock...

Harry lost his control and could not believe the things Draco uttered. What did he utter? Draco could not recall what he had said, he could only remember what he saw. But Harry had heard, and was appalled.

into disbelief...

Harry chastised himself for EVER believing that Draco could be anything other than a true-to-form Malfoy. This caught Draco's attention, and he desperately tried to explain to Harry. He would just have to explain to Harry everything he saw, everything he had been thinking, everything. That time had come.

into rage.

Harry did not give a damn for Draco's words. He had heard enough from those quivering lips; he could not muster the strength to hear more...

He left Draco with the iciest most hateful glare any Potter had ever delivered. He left Draco to wonder what the hell happened. He left Draco to the mess that was his life, which was collectively ripping at the seams in every corner. He left Draco, and Draco felt nothing but a cold unforgiving chill. He left Draco to sob quietly.

Hours later, he had still left Draco, but Draco would have to get him back.

~~~

Draco lifted himself from the chair, and opted to rest on the window seat, so that he could feel the moonlight upon him as he slept. He had been robbed of comfort throughout the day, and this was the only sense of it he had left. Blaise... Lucius... servants of Lord Voldemort. And what of Harry Potter... just thinking of him made Draco feel funny inside, and that just would not do. No, he needed to set things straight with the boy.

Tomorrow he and Harry would have a little heart-to-heart.