Pandora's Box

It took only a few moments after that for Francis to take over. Seeing how wretched Sirius was, how snappish and unreasonable Severus felt like being, how tired Harry was, and how Draco looked torn between comforting both Harrys and being unable to make up his mind which one he wanted, Francis decided it was up to him be to the responsible adult. As both the Bloody Baron and Cousin Quigley disappeared without a word the moment Nagini had appeared, Francis felt extremely liberated.

He ordered Draco to carry/drag Harry2 back to Hogwarts before Nagini’s various minions descended upon them, and then tried to ignore the look of glee that danced across Draco’s face. Francis had Harry lean against him for support. Sirius just trailed along with the end of Harry’s overcoat clutched tightly in one fist as he looked pathetically lost.

The five men and one ghost scuttled back to Hogwarts as fast as they could. They saved time by making a beeline to Hogsmeade. They took a quick moment to rummage through some emergency supplies Draco had stored in some piles of rubbish. They found some decent clothes for Harry to wear. They were slightly baggy around his skinny frame, but Draco had smiled at him and said not to worry, Harry would grow in due time.

Draco showed them a secret passage that led to Hogwarts, which both Remus and Sirius had known in their childhood. Inside the tunnel, they carefully skirted about the multiple traps both magical and nonmagical Draco had set up as precaution against sneaking invaders.

“High amounts of magic can trigger any sorts of traps,” Draco explained softly as he dismantled one particularly large nonmagical trap so they could get by it. It looked like it would do anything from skinning a victim alive, to tarring and feathering the victim. “Hell; any sort of magic within certain areas will trigger a magical trap. That’s why I’m not using a floating spell for that hunk of man over there.”

Harry2 twitched in his sleep. Harry frowned in annoyance. “You know,” he said, “if I were serious, I would say you were cheating on me.”

Sirius looked up. “M-me?” he asked.

“No, not you.”

“Oh.” Sirius looked away. In the dim light that Francis’ makeshift torch cast, Sirius looked even more lost than usual. Harry felt sorry at the lost expression his godfather wore. There was something utterly miserable about what had happened to Sirius to make him so. Harry certainly could not imagine staying with Nagini so long.

“Someone had to do it,” Draco said when he noticed the way Harry looked at Sirius. “Someone had to become a spy for the resistance, but we could only take volunteers. Professor Snape disappeared a few days after Voldemort was defeated, and no one ever knew what happened to him. After over a year passed, we figured he died. Black volunteered to become the spy. The Queen Bitch has--had a maddening presence; too long in it would drive a person insane, which is what happened to most of her closest followers. They became mindless fools whose only purpose in life was to do her bidding. Black fought against it the best he could, but eventually even he was affected.”

Draco looked over his shoulder at Sirius, who reattached himself to Harry’s arm. “Of course, he wasn’t quite the same since you died anyway. We think he drew himself into that helpless child-like manner of his as a protection against Nagini. He draws out of it every once in a while when Lupin tries to cheer him up. Not much, but enough for us to know that somewhere within him, somewhere, is the Sirius Black of old.”

Looking at Sirius Black, his body withered into a sack of bones and his hair stringy and thin and gray, Harry found it difficult that his godfather, reduced to something little more than a simpleton, was the stubborn and handsome Sirius Black who escaped Azkaban and stood against Professor Severus Snape the Terror of the Hogwarts Dungeons multiple times.

Even Severus the ghost found it difficult to believe. “Damn,” he muttered each time Sirius looked at him. “Damn. Now I’ll never get to use that muzzle! Damn!” Sirius whimpered and hugged himself close to Harry. “I miss the old Sirius. Damn!”

“We will have to find Remus Lupin.” Draco frowned thoughtfully. “I still can’t figure out where he up and disappeared to. He has always stuck to the Forbidden Forest during the full moon, just in case we needed him.”

Francis knew where this conversation was heading. Draco had already explained to him and Severus that Remus managed to somehow exert enough force over his werewolf self that he recognized Sirius and Draco as friends and came when the horn blew. Years from taking the Wolfsbane potion had left some permanent positive changes in his overall control as a werewolf.

“Well,” Francis said brightly, “we found Harry. Two of him, in fact!”

Draco looked sad. “Yes.”

Harry perked up slightly. “And we can leave now through the Mirror of Rebounds.”

Draco looked even sadder. “I suppose.”

“At least now you don’t have to worry about Nagini.”

Draco gazed at Harry with watery gray eyes. “True.”

An awkward silence fell over them. Harry2 stirred and they waited long enough for him to emerge fully into conscience before forcing him unsteadily upon his feet. Harry2 held his head and winced, as if suffering from a severe migraine.

“Now,” Harry2 muttered, “I know why Grandmother was so adamant at making me promise to never use Ember Death unless it was a hopeless situation and I had people who would still trust me after such a display of power at my back.”

“Tiring?” Severus asked.

“Exhausting. The Ember Death used my energy to burn, and hungered to burn everything. Grandmother says that fire and ice are the same, though fire is an element and ice is a component of Winter. Both Winter and fire possess selfish and greedy personalities that want to destroy or take back that which was once their own.” Harry2 stumbled and fell against Draco’s back. Draco braced himself against the weight and threw a patient look over his shoulder at Harry2.

Harry2 bristled at the look. Slowly, he pushed himself away from Draco. “You and I--that is, me in the sense of being Harry Potter--wouldn’t happen to be . . .?”

Draco sighed. “You and the other Harry both seem to have the same sort of acceptance problems.” He frowned at them and placed his hands on his hips. “I get it now; you’re both homophobic!”

Harry2 shrugged. “Look, it’s not us; it’s you.”

“Exactly,” agreed Harry. “How would you like it if you were your old self, back when you hated us, and we popped up and said we are lovers?”

Draco continued to frown. “Your problem is lack of tolerance.” He looked thoughtful. “On the other hand, my Harry was like that too.” He grinned wickedly. “At least until I had you--, er, him pinned against the wall in some corner and my tongue was down his throat and my hands firmly planted on his tight, lovely ars--”

Francis choked and Severus appeared between Draco and Harry. “That does it!” the ghost snapped. “Harry, I’ll tie him up, and you two can gag him!”

Draco grinned. “All right! Bondage!” The others stared at him incredulously. “Of course, Harry and I never did a threesome with a ghost before.” He glanced at the two Harrys. “Or cloning, so it would be more of a foursome, but I’m willing to try anything new!” He rubbed his hands together eagerly. “I like to think I’m open-minded. Sounds kinky anyway!”

Harry gave Francis an imploring look. “Can we leave now? Where’s the Mirror of Rebounds?”

Severus folded his arms before himself. “I agree with Harry. Can we leave now?”

Harry2 edged closer to Harry. “Can I do with you?” he asked. “I’m sure that as soon as Mom finishes ravaging or ravishing or whatever to Lupin that she’ll come and find me.” He blinked at the dubious looks the others gave him. “What?”

Draco leaned close to Harry2. “Did you just say your mother was ravaging or ravishing Remus Lupin?” He looked awed. “So the sly cur went and got himself laid while the rest of us were getting ourselves killed?” He threw his arms outward. “How come I never get that sort of luck?” He looked pointedly at Harry and Harry2. “Where were you two when I really needed it?”

Harry2 shrugged again. “Hey, I can’t help my mom’s hormones. Besides, you have two capable hands.”

Francis pushed forward through the ranks of people, his face bright red. “Time to change the subject,” he said hurriedly. “We’re going to have to leave soon. As in: right now, please!”

Sirius sniffled and attached himself to Harry2’s arm. Harry2 stared down at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. Sirius gazed up at him with watery eyes and hugged Harry2’s arm tighter. Harry2 rolled his eyes in incredulity and hurried after the quickly-retreating others, dragging Sirius along.

---------------------------

The Mirror of Rebounds and Pandora’s Box sat side-by-side where Francis had placed them in what had once been Headmaster Dumbledore’s office. Draco again fell into a state of depression. A lost-puppy look, much like Sirius’, was plastered on his face. Harry, Harry2, Francis, and Severus surrounded the Mirror of Rebounds and Pandora’s Box in a circle. The Mirror of Rebounds was tilted on the side they had never jumped realities with before. Francis made a mental note to flip it over. Otherwise, they would either travel back into the past, or they would jump into the last reality.

“You know,” Harry2 said momentarily to Draco. “You have potential for being a great swordsman. You have the ferocity and the energy; you just need to work on your basic skills. Twelve hours with my uncle Nandin would either make you better or kill you in the process.”

Draco did not stir from his state of depression. He gazed at the two Harrys with tear-filled eyes. Sirius whimpered and clung to Draco as he stared at the two Harrys in a like manner. Sirius was told his Harry and his other Harry was leaving now, and would not be back. Sirius not only looked like he was going to have a fit of hysterics at any moment, but also commit suicide afterwards.

“Can I have a hug?” Draco asked finally. “Just a hug goodbye? Please?”

“Me too!” Sirius cried loudly as he bounced up and down excitedly. “Me too! Me too!”

Harry and Harry2 exchanged worried glances. “Should we let them?” Harry asked.

“I’m afraid if I said yes, they’ll attach themselves to us at the hip.”

Severus grunted and crossed his arms before himself. “Or some other place,” he muttered darkly.

Francis’ arm twitched as if he was going to elbow Severs in the side. “Look,” he told the two Harrys, “just give them hugs. It’s not as if we will be back, because we probably won’t.” Nothing was said of what they would do when they jumped back to their original reality. The two Harrys sighed and then held their arms out. Draco slowly approached Harry while Sirius practically leapt into Harry2’s arms. As Draco brushed into Harry’s arms, the top of Pandora’s Box flung open suddenly.

There were a few squeaks of surprise (and perhaps one of indignation from Harry) as the power flooded into the room and the Mirror of Rebounds spun suddenly on its hinges. As all five persons and one ghost were sucked into the Mirror of Rebounds, the simple spell Draco had left in the room as an assurance against magical attacks was triggered and released.

Even as everyone in the room disappeared into the depths of the Mirror of Rebounds, the Shrinking charm made them smaller, and smaller, and smaller. Pandora’s Box swept into the Mirror of Rebounds, which folded into itself and disappeared as well with a silent pop.

Cousin Quigley, the Bloody Baron, and this reality’s Harry materialized in the room. All three persons were transparent or, in Cousin Quigley’s case, very washed out.

“Thanks,” Harry told the two Snapes. “They don’t belong here; it’s just them now that everyone else died, and they don’t deserve this kind of life. I’ll miss them, but they’re probably better off now.”

“Our pleasure,” the Bloody Baron said with the smile of someone who enjoys the mishaps of others. “This promises to be most amusing in the future.”

Cousin Quigley looked uncertain. “This throws a wrench into our machinery of plans,” he moaned. He tugged at one lock of hair. “I didn’t foresee this happening. All I wanted was that other Harry to jump into the mess. If they don’t reach Tom Riddle, they’ll be jumping until they all die trying. Pandora can’t reach them; she’s trapped where she is. We’re in trouble anyway, especially with Severus.” He sighed.

Harry squinted at them. “Just out of curiosity, while I realize you’re concerned with the Snape family, why are you trying so hard to rescue this one reality from Voldemort?”

Cousin Quigley sniffed. A single tear rolled down his face. “Because the realities, even if they are separate and wholly different because a catalyst forced them to split, follow suit to one another. It’s almost as if they try to mirror one another in an attempt to become one as they were before. If Harry of our reality can defeat Voldemort without dying, then the greater majority of the other realities will echo it. Not because they are connected, but because it’s possible.”

“So, in other words, by saving your reality, other realities will be saved too?”

Cousin Quigley nodded his head. “Something to that effect. This reality might even be saved as well, because they would be back in their own time a few years before this happened. You might be alive, and in which case, will know not of any of your future that ever happened. Well, mostly.”

Harry cocked his head to the side. “Mostly? I’m confused.”

“That’s what our Harry said too.”

“Oh? You explained this to him already?”

“Um, no.” Cousin Quigley smiled self-consciously. “I tried explaining other things, but he never quite figured it out. Francis had to explain, which was mostly the reason for his existence, to explain things.”

Harry blinked. “Mostly?”

Cousin Quigley looked at Harry sadly. “We all exist for a purpose. The Universe’ main goal is to survive; every one of us contribute to helping it survive. If Earth falls, it upsets the precarious balance of existence, and all the other worlds will follow suit. Earth is important for some odd reason, why I haven’t quite managed to learn yet. You see, Harry, your only purpose to life is to be the person who kills Voldemort. He’s immortal otherwise, and you were created with the purpose to take him down when you die. I do not like that concept, so I try to fight against it. At least your dying. In this way, if Voldemort is killed but you are not, you will at least then have a purpose to live a life not meant to be a means to Voldemort’s end.”

Harry bristled angrily. He closed his eyes, and then reopened them. “So, in other words,” he said in a seething voice, “my entire existence was just to get rid of Voldemort? I wasn’t meant to live beyond his death?” He clenched his hands into fists. “Everything that I went through was just to get rid of him and help the Universe survive?!”

Cousin Quigley sighed. He snapped his fingers three times before Harry’s face. Each time his fingers snapped, Harry’s eyes snapped shut before reopening. After the third time, Harry no longer looked angry. He just looked dazed and confused.

“We’ll see you later,” Cousin Quigley said with forced cheerfulness. “Maybe we’ll even pass by to tell you now and then about how Draco and Sirius are doing.” Harry nodded stupidly. With a resigned sigh, Cousin Quigley and the Bloody Baron disappeared.

------------------------------

When they finally popped into the new reality, the first thing Harry noticed was the gigantic smooth wood block that stood next to them. He craned his neck to look above. It extended a seemingly impossible distance into the air before branching off at a T. Seated on top of the T, gigantic talons curved and locked around the outstretch and feathers glimmering almost too brightly in the dim light, was a bird the size of a mountain.

Harry dropped his head, rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses, and then surveyed his surroundings in astonishment. They stood upon a flat, stone surface, which broke evenly in squares. Off to their right was a peak of wood that connected to a gigantic square of wood.

“That,” said Francis behind Harry, “is ugly.” Harry looked over his shoulder to see Francis, Harry2, and Draco examining a fly the size of an adult blast-end skrewt. Harry could see the ridges of the exoskeleton, the pattern on the glossy wings, the extended sucker, the wire-like hairs, and the multi-faceted lifeless eyes. Sirius sat beside Pandora’s Box and the Mirror of Rebounds. He looked vaguely lost, but that was nothing new.

“Any idea as to where we are?” Harry asked finally. “And where is Uncle Severus?”

“Up here.” Harry craned his neck upward again at the direction of Severus’ voice. The ghost floated so high up that Harry barely heard his voice. Severus shaded his eyes as he scanned the horizons, and then dropped down to float beside Harry. “If I were a bug--” He noticed then the fly the others were studying. He cleared his throat. “That is to say, since we are the size of an insect, we now have a perception of the world from an insect’s point of view.”

Harry looked around. “It’s big,” he said.

“Obviously,” Severus said dryly. “Either the Mirror of Rebounds screwed up, or we are in some reality where everything is huge.”

“Or maybe,” Draco said pointedly from where he was prodding the dead fly with the sheathed point of his sword, “maybe we should all think of the counter-charm to the shrinking charm that struck us as we got sucked into that thing. I told you guys not to use high amounts of magic.”

Francis reached for his wand. “What sort of shrinking charm did you use?”

“The out of sight, out of mind one. I used it because there wasn’t supposed to be a counter-charm, and I had looked forward to squashing intruders.”

Francis blinked. “I don’t believe I’m familiar with that one. Ah well.” He frowned in concentration as he twirled his wand in his fingers. “The shrinking charm was anchored to the immensity of the power used,” he said almost absent-mindedly. “The stronger the power, the more the stronger the charm’s strength and reduction in size of the target--which, in this case, was us.” He began to draw a pattern in mid-air. The very tip of his wand glowed a light pink, and it left a lustrous after-trail in the air.

A giant squawk rang through the air. Being as the decibels of the sound waves created from the squawk were roughly the same size as the pea-sized reality jumpers, hands flew to cover ears as everyone winced all around. Except for Severus though, who did not seem to be affected by anything that took place.

“That was Fawkes,” said Severus to no one in particular. Even if the squawk had shattered the majority of eardrums, it was still the beautiful ring of something almost too otherworldly to be known to the wizarding world. Bright magenta and scarlet swirled above their heads and Fawkes fluttered to a landing onto the floor before Francis. Fawkes extended his long, graceful neck and peered at Francis with first one eye, and then twisted his head to peer at Francis with the other.

Everyone held their breath. Fawkes dipped his head until he was almost eye-to-eye with Francis. Several long moments passed. Fawkes lifted his head and fluffed his feathers, and everyone released their pent-up breath into a sigh. That was when Fawkes’ head snapped forward and Francis disappeared in a quick gulp.

Shock was the main cause of the hovering silence as Fawkes burped in contentment and then began to preen his feathers.

Finally, Harry spoke. “He just ate Francis!”

Draco shook a fist at Fawkes. “You bastard!”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Who else wants to be a Phoenix Munchy?”

Harry2 pointed wildly at Fawkes. “We just can’t leave Francis inside of him!”

Severus coldly glared at his nephew’s other self. Harry2 cringed and looked away. “How do you propose we rescue Francis? Should we charge Fawkes and jam ourselves down his throat with hopes to be regurgitated along with Francis? Perhaps we can counter-charm ourselves into being big so we can wring his scrawny neck. Or should we remove ourselves from the premises before Fawkes decides he is still hungry, and seek Dumbledore?”

Draco, Harry, and Harry2 exchanged looks.

“I could roast him,” Harry2 ventured to say.

Severus rolled his eyes. “And in the process you’ll probably incinerate him back into an egg. Then where will Francis be?”

They exchanged looks again. Severus carefully gathered up Pandora’s Box, whirled around in mid-air and floated away. “Now,” he could be heard mumbling to himself, “where would Dumbledore be at this very moment?”

Fawkes paused in his preening. He eyed Draco in the same manner as he eyed Francis moments before Francis met with another dastardly end.

Draco and the two Harrys hurried after Severus, who had floated through the door at the very end of the room. They jumped over crevices in the floor, which were easily almost as wide as Harry was tall. Harry2 leapt over them like a graceful stag, undaunted by the physical aspect of running. Harry slid, scraped, and otherwise tripped his way across the floor to the door. Draco followed closely behind him. Draco claimed he was ready to catch Harry should Harry miss a jump, but Harry secretly suspected Draco of trying to cop a feel.

By the time they reached the door, they all realized they had forgotten someone.

“Where’s Black?” Draco asked with a frown. They looked over their shoulders at the direction they had run from Fawkes.

“Where’s the Mirror of Rebounds?” Harry wondered.

Harry2 sighed. “I’ll go get them. You two stay here.” He scrambled across the floor once more. He carefully watched Fawkes for any suspicious movement, but the phoenix ignored the scampering figure as he preened his feathers. Sirius was right where he had been last, still seated beside the Mirror of Rebounds. A distant look was plastered on his face, which lent to the impression he was daydreaming.

With a careful eye on Fawkes, Harry2 slowly put an arm around Sirius. Sirius glanced at him, sniffled, and then leaned against the arm. Harry2 wrapped his other arm through the Mirror of Rebound’s frame. He held it close to his side and tugged Sirius to his feet. Sirius swayed slightly from left to right. Harry2 slowly walked backwards with Sirius on tow. Fawkes ignored the others as he continued to preen his feathers. Harry2 and Sirius reached the ravine that was the crack between two stones. Harry2 nudged Sirius.

“Jump,” Harry2 whispered.

Sirius blinked. Harry2 sighed and wrapped both arms around Sirius’ ribcage beneath his arms. Sirius frowned at them and then shook a disapproving finger in Harry2’s face as he pushed away. “Draco’ll kill me,” he said in explanation. Harry2 stared at his sort-of godfather in shock before he quickly shook his head.

“I’m not Harry,” he said carefully. Sirius squinted at him.

“Yes.” It was firm.

“Well, sort of. I’m just not your Harry.”

Sirius squinted again. He shook his head, ground the palm of his hands into his eyes, and pulled Harry2 closer. “Yes. You are Harry.” The slur in his words, the perpetual whine of a child who was never permitted his own way and could not quite understand why, was slowly disappearing.

“Okay, so I’m Harry. But we’re both in trouble, and we have to get in this ravine.”

Far across the room, Harry2 was aware of the others jumping up and down and waving their arms to get his attention. He ignored them.

“Ravine?” Sirius turned from Harry2 to study it. He put both his hands on his hips as he glared down at it. “That’s not a ravine.”

“Well, it is. Sort of. But we have to get over it.”

A shadow fell across them. Harry2 and Sirius looked up to see a giant beak descending. Harry2 shoved Sirius to the side and jumped to the other as Fawkes snapped his head forward to eat one or the other. Without pausing, Fawkes’ head smoothly swiveled about. He snapped at Sirius, who managed to gasp a, “What the bloody hell?” before he was eaten almost in the same manner as Francis.

Harry2 tucked and rolled to his feet. “That was my godfather!” he yelled at Fawkes.

Fawkes turned and eyed him. Harry2 braced himself for a battle. Fawkes leapt into the air, angled himself downward, and dive-bombed Harry2. Harry2 took a running jump and, with a bright flash of red that surrounded his entire figure, met Fawkes head-on in a clash of melodious cries, bright plumage, and the distinct heat waves of dancing flames.

With a sigh, Severus turned around. “I say we get Professor Dumbledore,” he said as he floated through the large office door.

Harry pointed after the small firestorm that was beginning to form between the phoenix and fire demon. “But what about--”

“Leave them,” Severus called through the door. “None of us are capable of getting between two supernatural beings--even if one of them is about the same size as his IQ--and hope to come out of it alive.”

“I meant the Mirror of Rebounds,” Harry grumbled. He realized how close Draco was standing to him and gave him a quick glare. They quickly exited the room by slipping beneath the crack between the door and the floor, and were faced with another dilemma.

“How do you suppose we get up the stairs?” Harry asked as he stared at the smooth, vertical surface that rose far above his head.

Draco grinned as he flourished his wand. “We can fly! I know this charm that will--ACH!”

Severus grabbed the young men by the back of their robes and chucked them up the stairs. They bounced to a rough landing on the fourth stair, but before they could recover, Severus repeated the movement.

“I don’t believe I care for this, dear uncle-in-law,” Draco grumbled from the mass of aching limbs he had landed in. Harry rubbed his head.

“I think I landed on it,” he moaned.

“No damage done then,” Severus said before he finally tossed them to the top landing.

“If we were our normal selves,” Draco told Severus sternly, “landing at such a manner would kill us.”

“Gravity has less effect upon lower body mass since you are now all equivalent to the bugs that I claimed for years you children to be.”

Draco turned to Harry. “Is he always like this?” he whispered loudly behind his hand.

Harry nodded. “It got worse after he died,” he whispered back.

Severus’ eyebrow twitched. “Come,” he said as he swept past them with a wave of chilly air that followed in his wake, “we have to find Dumbledore.”

Draco grumbled as he and Harry scrambled to catch up with Severus’ quick flight. “Easier said than done,” said Draco. They ran down endless hall after endless hall, following after Severus. After nearly three halls and four corners, Draco and Harry stopped to take a breather.

“I,” gasped Draco, “don’t remember this place being THIS big!”

“I,” gasped Harry in reply, “don’t remember ever being this small before!”

That was when rumble filled the air then, and the floor vibrated. Draco and Harry swayed unsteadily. Doors from either side of the hall flung open. Voices lifted up in laughter and cheerful chatter as the children escaped their classes.

Harry and Draco scrambled frantically to prevent themselves from becoming gooey little messes on the bottom of various shoes. Harry looked overheard to see the dark surface of one descending foot and threw himself out of the way just as Draco swerved to avoid a dragging foot. They slammed into one another and fell over. Harry’s glasses flew off his nose from the impact and were pulverized by a foot that came within a hair’s width of flattening him.

The world became a misshapen plane of blurred colors and jumbled shapes. Harry panicked instantly at not being able to see where he was going. He tripped and fell down a crack. He landed on his stomach and forced air from of his lungs. And just like that, the passing of scattered students was done.

Above him, at the edge of the crack, Harry could hear Draco calling down to him.

“Are you all right, love?”

Harry forced enough air back into his lungs to answer. “Don’t call me that!”

“Well, you are--ach!” Harry jumped as he heard feet scuffle and the sound of metal sliding against leather. Something whistled through the air at the same time a large creature growled. “Back! Back you monstrous beast!”

Harry squinted at the light source above him. “What’s going on?” he called.

“Back! Ah hah! Don’t like that, do you? Take this! And this! And this too!”

“MROOOWWOOOR!”

“And this! Hahahahahah!”

Harry felt something cold appear close by. He reached out and his fingertips brushed against ice-cold air. “Uncle Severus?”

There was a slight pause. “Your husband,” said Severus in a toneless voice, “is currently hacking away at Mrs. Norris’ fur.”

Harry sputtered. “What do you mean my husband?”

Severus continued as if Harry had not said a word. “It’s quite amusing really; it’s like a flea trying to mutilate a gigantic wolfhound with a drinking straw.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m beginning to wonder about that boy. I think you were a bad influence on him.”

“Me?”

Above their heads, Mrs. Norris finally took a swipe at the annoying little creature that had been prodding her with a needle. Draco jumped away from the paw, landed unsteadily, and fell over the edge of the floor crack that Harry was stuck in.

He landed on Harry.

“Are you okay?” Draco helped Harry upright as Harry dry-heaved against the pain in his back and shoulders.

“I’m fine,” Harry muttered in pain, “I’ve probably just got a broken collar bone, maybe a cracked shoulder plate or backbone . . .”

Severus harrumphed. “Since you two are incapable of handling this mess without muddling matters up worse, you can just stay here. I’m going to find someone who is dependable and very unlikely to foul things up.” With that, he floated away in search for himself.

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Severus found this reality’s Professor Snape bent over this reality’s Draco Malfoy’s potion. Professor Snape was remarking on how well the color was and the scent that permeated it--apples and cream--was correct. With each pointed remark he made, he sent sly glances over to the Gryffindors’ side of the dungeons room. Professor Snape dipped a ladle into the potion and brought it to his lips to taste.

Severus perched himself on Professor Snape’s gargantuan nose and waved his hands for attention. He snarled under his breath as Professor Snape closed his eyes to appreciate the taste of Draco’s potion. “Hey. Hey you!” Severus jumped up and down and waved his arms wildly.

Professor Snape’s eyes snapped open. Severus ominously folded his cloak around himself. “I,” said Severus, “want to have a word with you.”

Professor Snape choked at the sight of an indignant miniature of himself with unprecedented curly hair.