Meant to Be

Chapter 2 James' Perspective Start

I stare out the library window at the cloudless azure sky. (I could learn from the weather; it pays no attention to critism, and I sometimes care too much about my reputation.) It would be exhilarating to soar through that sky with the wind whipping through my hair. I sigh, turning away from the temptation to look back at my Transfiguration essay that is due the next day. We've had a fortnight to do it, however, I procrastinated since I am good at Transfiguration. I'm good at most things. No sense in being modest about it.

"Potter!"

At the sound of Lily's lovely voice my head immediately shot up. While she gaits toward me from across the room I manage not to allow my gaze to admire her figure. It takes immense effort.

Her stride ceases once she reaches the table at which I am seated. Without preamble, she states, "There's something I need to do for one of my friends and, as much as I hate to admit it, you're the only one that can help me."

"What is that?" Typically, I would have taken a moment to silently respect the sacrifices that she had invariably been willing to make to achieve her goals and help her comrades because it is one of my favourite qualities about her and it reminds me of my own determination in life, though my curiosity was too engaged right then to do so.

"You see, yesterday Remus told me something..." her voice trailed off.

Would Remus tell Lily that he is a werewolf? Despite the case that they are close I doubt it, for he did not even tell us; we had to ascertain that information ourselves and confront him with it. "What did he say?"

She hesitated slightly, as if anxious about what my reaction would be. "He-he's in love with Sirius."

Did I hear her correctly? Moony loves Padfoot? The fact that Remus adores a man does not come as too much of a stupefaction since Remus already articulated to me that he is gay last year when I caught him reading a mystery novel that happened to contain intimate scenes between two men, yet the fact that it's Sirius...Well, they are both my mates and I do not want either of them to get hurt, so it might be better if their relationship remained lackadaisical. Still, if the attraction is mutual then it would be worth the risk of putting them together to create greater mirth.

"We need to find out if Sirius fancies Remus."

"Brilliant! I never would have thought of that," Lily sarcastically remarks.

Ignoring her sarcasm, I say, "It would explain why Sirius never goes on dates and why he only bothers to flirt with a chick when she approaches him first."

"A chick? Are you saying that women are little yellow birds, Potter!" Her emerald eyes flash with irritation causing her to look sexier than usual, though I am too offended to permit that to distract me. Okay, perhaps it distracts me a little.

"You call men 'guys,' don't you? Guy means a person of odd appearance or dress," I retort. Yes, I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Really? How do you know something like that?" She enacts genuinely shocked.

"I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am. Dumbledore wouldn't have made me Head Boy if all I could was play Quidditch." I say this in the matter-of-fact tone I have learned from Remus, however, Lily's expression still turns to one that looks like she's been slapped.

"You're right. I'm sorry...James." It sounds as if it pains her to utter my Christian name, but it's a start.

Together we make several attempts to test Sirius' emotions, none of which reveal anything. The upside is that Lily and I have not shouted at each other once. Succeeding dinner, Lily and I ensconce in chairs beside one another in the common room. I feel faintly discouraged by our lack of progress, not that I let Lily observe that, so I turn the radio to a station that plays music that I know (ahem) stimulates Sirius.

After hearing it for a few minutes he ambles away from his chess match with Peter over to Remus, who is reading in the corner. Lily and I sit on the edges of our seats in anticipation like we're watching a suspenseful film. Only there is no screen. And we don't have any popcorn. I could really go for some popcorn.

"Go on," Lily whispers in a way that it appears she hopes Sirius can hear her wish telepathically. Her face is shining with excitement and I decide that I would much rather have some Lily than some popcorn. I chide myself for desiring her when she would refuse to simply hold my hand.

It was not my decision to care for her. After all, who would want to love someone that did not return their feelings? Not even I'm that crazy, though Sirius would argue otherwise. I just can't cast away the knowledge that I got from Merlin-knows-where that Lily and I are meant to be.

Two years previously I'd asked Remus the Romantic if he believed in fate and he'd replied, "If something is destined to happen it will no matter what anyone says, wants, or does." He smiled before adding knowingly, "If fate intends you and Lily to be together nothing and no one can change that. It'll happen." I had merely nodded. I hadn't thanked him.

I feel guilty about that now, yet I'll make it up to him. I shall make sure that he gets the one he loves exactly like he assured me I would, providing Sirius wants it too.

"Moony?" Sirius asks.

"That's me," responds Remus, immediately laying his book aside. An action I realise has always been reserved for Sirius alone. "What can I do for you?"

"I can list bunches of stuff I'd like you to do for me," Sirius blurts. A second later his face expresses sheer horror at his proclamation. This clearly shows that Sirius views Remus in a platonic manner. Not for the first time, I am grateful for Sirius' tendency of not contemplating ere he acts. I enjoy his recklessness; it matches my own. We understand that being healthy and safe is only the slowest possible rate at which someone can perish. Health nuts are going to feel foolish one day, lying in a hospital bed and dying of nothing.

Lily and I share a triumphant glance at Sirius' revelation, which isn't much since I know we should share our lives together, but it's a start.

Remus is bewildered. "What? You mean homework assignments?"

"Oh, er, yeah! That's it, homework!"

Sirius has never said the term 'homework' with enthusiasm before, resulting in Remus elegantly raising an eyebrow.

"Anyway," says Sirius hastily, "this music makes me feel...strange, so I need something more interesting than chess to take my mind off of it."

"Why not do homework?" suggests Remus with a smile.

My best friend looks absolutely repulsed by the recommendation. "I'd rather play with a kid's stupid toy."

Promptly, Remus produces a slinky from his book bag and gives it to Sirius. He watches the coils pass back and forth between Sirius' hands as if he believes those hands should be put to better use. It is inexcusable that it never came to my attention how frequently the two of them stare at each other until now.

Sirius comments, "Snivellus is like a slinky."

The werewolf gawks at Sirius, showing plainly that he has never heard anything more nonsensical. I must agree.

He explains to Remus, "Slinkies aren't really good for anything, yet you still can't but smile when you see them tumble down the stairs."

It takes all of the self-control that I possess, which I confess isn't much, not to burst into tears of hilarity because I know from experience that Lily would not appreciate it.

Remus despises insults, though I discern even he is having difficulty restraining a chuckle from escaping his lips.

Naught noteworthy occurs after that and I reassure Lily with conviction, "We can do this. We just need a less subtle tactic."

"You're not a quitter," observes Lily in a tone I have never heard before. At least not directed at me. I think she is impressed.

I look straight at her. "I never give up on what is meant to be."