Legacy of the Marauders

Chapter Twenty The Three S's

Their first class was Herbology with Professor Sprout, a stout kindly young woman. "Morning everyone. You have an easy lesson today. You're going to be weeding the garden. Just be sure not to pull out anything significant, like a mandrake. Who can tell me the difference between a weed and useful plant by simply looking at the part aboveground?"

Sirius' hand shot up and when Sprout called on him he recited the book from memory: "When weeding, the best way to make certain that you're removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull it. If it comes out of the ground easily it's a valuable plant." Obviously, it was not a school textbook from which he was reciting.

Amid the students' chuckles Sprout corrected, "No, Mr. Black. The leaves are a darker shade of green. Fortunately, these are actual weeds you'll be pulling up, not plant-like creatures. Get to work."

Remus squatted down, which was difficult since he was unaccustomed to wearing a skirt, and began weeding beside the girls. He heard his fellow Marauders discussing how they would send the weeds to McGonagall claiming they were from Dumbledore, and this instilled the desire in Remus to strike up a conversation of his own.

"Sapphire, what's Remus like?" he asked in Joanna's melodic voice. This ought to be interesting.

She thought carefully for a moment. "He's very admirable."

"Admirable?" Whatever he had expected her to say it was not that.

"Yes. He has a lot of personal suffering to deal with, but if people knew about it they would scorn him out of fear and ignorance rather than give him the respect he deserves. Such prejudice would make most people bitter and angry at the world, but Remus is always polite, loyal, pleasant, and optimistic."

Remus was touched; warmth filled his heart. "Have you told him that?"

"No. He never asked, though I assume he already knows. After all, I tell him I love him all of the time because-"

Alice interrupted, "Because he has the three S's."

Sapphire said, "That is a plus, but I've never told Remmy about them."

"What are they?" queried Remus, however, he already had a speculation since rule number 67 of the Marauding Code was, Never consider dating a girl that doesn't have the three B's: brilliance, beauty, and bravery.

"Smart, sexy, and sweet, of course," answered Lily.

"Oh, right. I forgot," Remus lied. It was nice to know that, in general, mature men and women were searching for the same thing.

"This class is so boring today, and I'm good at it when it's interesting," Alice complained before shouting, "Professor Sprout, what time is it?" The lesson ended at nine-thirty.

"What was that, Dear?" called Sprout from the opposite side of the greenhouse.

As appealing as screaming a second time seemed Alice opted to simply point to her wrist to indicate her inquiry.

"Nine-twenty-four," Sprout informed vociferously.

Sapphire wondered aloud, "Why do people point to their wrist when asking the time, but they don't point to their crotch when asking where the toilet is?"

After a moment of pondering Lily responded, "I don't know. It's a good question. Life is all about asking questions."

"I agree. Without asking questions you can't be expected to learn anything," supplied Remus.

"I don't think so," Alice disputed. "Life is all about sex."

"Alice!" gasped Sapphire, scandalised.

"Life is sexually transmitted," explained Alice casually.

"While it's true that without sex a new life can't be created I don't feel that sex is the purpose of life," stated Lily.

Remus was impressed that the ladies could discuss intimacy calmly; he was aware that his friends were incapable of doing so. Were girls always so practical when it came to sex?

The bell rang before he could find out.

As the pupils were filing out of the greenhouse Sprout summoned, "Please, come here, Miss Summers."

Remus approached hesitantly. "Yes?"

"Dumbledore explained your situation to the staff, so all of your teachers will know not to force Remus to make up schoolwork next week since he, ah you, are doing it right along with everyone else this week."

"Right," said Remus gratefully to show that he'd completely understood even if she had not.

"Well, enjoy the rest of you day, Lupin."

We'll see, thought Remus doubtfully.