Lessons

Lessons

Silence Is Golden

If I am silent then I am not real

If I speak up then no one will hear

If I wear a mask there's somewhere to hide

Silence is golden

I have been broken

Safe in my own skin

So nobody wins

If I raise my voice

Will someone get hurt?

And if I can't feel then I won't get touched

If no truths are spoken then no lies can hide

So nobody wins

Did you hear me speak

Do you understand

Did you hear my voice

Will you hold my hand

Do you understand me

Won't someone listen

Nobody gets in

My body's a temple

But nothing is simple

Silence is golden

I have been broken

Something was stolen

Safe in my own skin

-- Garbage

Chapter One - In Which There Is a Stormy Wedding

************

The voice I use is not my speaking voice, but my heart's voice. I have not spoken since my sixth year. Few know why, and he who cursed me with it has died. If I could turn back, I don't know if I would; silence is an uncanny addiction. The war will be over soon, but by then, it will be too late to reclaim my freedom. I won't be eighteen for another month, and tonight, I will enter a marriage with the enemy. Soon my daughter and I shall join him at our new home. My muteness does not bother my fiancée: he didn't want me for my words.

He will need patience for I believe silence affects everything in the end. The strange thing is I don't think myself silent, because of my piano. I pour all of me into the music, and it resonates my thoughts, my memories, my soul. If you could understand the notes, then you would know my everything.

***********

She was wearing a plain black dress when she stepped off the ship. The tight-corset held her back straight as she stepped down the plank and onto shore. A young girl, donning a pale yellow skirt and white sweater, clutched her hand tightly. The beach was windy, welcoming mother and daughter with thick clouds that blanketed the New Zealand sky.

Sailors busily unloaded the ship, piling wooden trunks upon the cool, damp sand. She watched them carefully, waiting for the one item that mattered most.

"Mama," the small girl tugged at her hand. "Mama, he's here."

She looked up to where her daughter pointed. Her future husband was slowly making his way down the beach, the wind whipping his dark dress robes. He looked thinner, older than he did all those years ago. His face was relaxed unlike the cruel, determined mask he wore during Quidditch games at Hogwarts. She watched as he neared. With each step, her heart clenched tighter, reminding her of her sealed fate. She would soon be Mrs. Marcus Flint.

"Good afternoon, Virginia." His voice was deep and dark, like the imminent storm that brewed in the sky. She heard him clearly despite the thunderous waves crashing on the sand.

She nodded to his greeting, her sweet face expressionless like a stone Aphrodite. His eyes darkened at her indifference, but he said nothing of it.

"You should call her Ginny," the young girl at her side piped up loudly. He looked down at her with cold eyes. She continued undaunted. "Really, everyone does. Except me."

He cracked a small smile. "And what do you call her?"

"Mama, mum, mother...what should I call you?"

"You may call me Papa, if you wish," he replied with a glance at Ginny. She had lost focus in the conversation and her eyes were on the workers as they carefully carried a gigantic, piano-shaped crate off the ship. His brow furrowed as he noticed her dark mourning garments. He had instructed her to wear her wedding dress off the ship, and she arrived in black, like a sacrificial offering. He turned back to the girl, deciding that he would deal with Ginny later, when she became his wife. "And what shall I call you?"

"Lissy," she said. "It's short for Elizabeth."

"Well, Lissy. Why don't you, your mother, and I go home?"

The seamen had already moved their trunks up the path toward Flint Manor. Only the piano was left, looking large and out of place on the beach. The tide was growing higher, lunging closer and closer to her beloved instrument.

"Come on, Mama!"

Ginny's fingers danced deftly in response to her daughter's plea. Marcus watched, fascinated with her silent language.

"She says she won't go unless the piano comes with her," Lissy translated.

The wind howled harder and thick raindrops began to fall. Ginny let go of her daughter's hand and ran to one of the men. She gestured frantically for him to move her piano, her hands waving and cutting through the air. He shook his head gruffly, bowed his head, and returned to the ship. Waves were crashing against the piano crate now. She signed frantically to her daughter.

"She says to move her piano," Lissy shouted, her small voice easily tangled in the wind.

"Not today. It's raining too hard."

Strands of Ginny's flaming red hair had fallen loose of her tight bun and they blew wildly in the wind. She pulled out her wand and pointed desperately at the piano. "Wingardium Leviosa," she shouted, but her voice cowered at the back of her throat, held back by the imposed silence.

Marcus and Lissy watched her, the latter with helplessness, and the former with a smirk. It was apparent that she could not cast spells without her voice. She ran to him, stumbling in the sand. She thrust her wand into his hands and signed to her daughter.

"She tells you to cast a spell to bring it ashore!" Lissy pleaded. "She says please! She says the piano is her life. Without it she can't be happy!"

He threw her wand down angrily. "The piano will be carried tomorrow!" He grabbed Ginny's arms tightly and forced her face close to his. "Listen carefully. I am your life now, understand? You will be my wife and you will abide by my rules!" His harsh words assaulted her with the rain that poured down upon them. Ginny pushed him away with clenched fists and grabbed Lissy's hand. Glancing back at her piano once more, she picked up her wand and marched up the path toward Flint manor. All the sailors were back on the ship, sailing away quickly in the jagged waters. Ginny wished she could be one of them.

**************

Her wedding night was nothing like she had expected. After hurriedly signing a few documents and a marriage license, they were declared man and wife and she was ushered in to his bedroom. It was an amalgam of ostentatious furniture, grim portraits and items that flashed luxury. Half the room was taken up was with a giant four-poster bed that she tried her best to ignore. With nothing to occupy herself with she stared at the clock, counting the seconds. By the time she had lost count several times over, her brown eyes fixed stonily upon the large wooden door that would soon admit her husband.

A low voice broke her stare, "I see you've been waiting for me."

She turned and found Marcus leaned casually against the fireplace.

"We have an internal Floo Network," he said in way of explanation, crossing the room to her side. He stood behind her and caressed her shoulder, slipping under the dark material. Ginny continued to sit stiffly until his hand started to run lower. She cringed away and brushed away his touch with her pale, perfect fingers.

He growled under his breath. "We're married now and it's time for you to fulfill your duty as a wife."

Ginny simply shook her head, backing away towards the door. Marcus stared at her, the hostility between them straining the air. He knocked the chair in front of him to the floor and began advancing upon his nervous wife. Shrinking away, her back hit the wall as his fist rose in the air. It neared her face but the blow never hit.

"I won't strike you on our wedding night, honey," he smirked. "But till I get what I want from you, your adored piano will remain on the beach."

He violently yanked open the door to the right of her, and motioned her out politely. "Sweet dreams, my dear."

**************

Since Marcus didn't seem concerned with her day's activities, the next morning Ginny decided to get out of the foreboding house and out to her beloved treasure. With Lissy happily skipping along the craggy way to the beach, she managed a small smile. Perhaps life would not be as awful as she thought. If Marcus left her alone during the day, she really only had to give in to his wishes in the bedroom and she could live a near normal life with Lissy.

Dressed in pale pink corduroy overalls, the seven-year-old girl clambered quickly up the last slope on the way to the beach where her mother's piano lay. Ginny's steps quickened as well, fueled by the knowledge that she could lay her hands on the keys and feel a little at home.

She pulled off her leather sandals, and ran barefoot to the crate by the sea, the sand caressing pleasantly between her toes. She signed for Lissy to come help her. Together, they pulled out the weak nails that held together the already broken box. When the glossy mahogany surface was alas revealed, she smiled in such a way that she almost felt laughter bubbling in her throat.

"Oh, mum!" Lissy squealed. "Play something! Play that song I love!"

Without hesitation, Ginny pushed back the lid and pressed her fingers into the familiar keys. She felt melodies calling to her, and she dove into them, letting her hands flitter across the black and white blocks.

Lissy danced across the sand, laughing with carefree glee as she twirled in endless circles. The bitter wind no longer battered the pair, but rather kissed them with ocean salt and fresh spring air. The piano was where home was.

******

The stinging rain had abated, though the clouds spoke of another imminent downpour for the evening. Draco Malfoy hurriedly grabbed his broom for his dusk ride along the coast. He kicked off from his balcony, rising quickly and following the rocky cliffs and beaches up the coast. Ever since he had moved to New Zealand, he had taken this same route. It wasn't the scenery that attracted him, though one could hardly complain of a breath-taking expanse of sand and ocean illuminated with the setting sun. No, it was the feeling of the wind running through his hair and robes, the joy of being completely alone and at peace. His eyes scanned the earth and stopped with a start at the coast outside Flint's manor. Was that a piano?

He swooped down lower and was amazed to find his initial assumption to be right. He jumped off his broom to the sand and examined the instrument. Despite the fact that it had been left out on the beach during the storm to be soaked by the oceans waves and rain, it was an excellent instrument. Draco stared at it, an idea forming in his mind. His new manor was missing a piano, and it was just like Flint to under-appreciate craftsman ship. He straddled his broom again, this time heading for Flints manor.

********

Lissy was tucked safe and warm into her own room. Marcus had done it personally. Her new father made sure to spoil her with new dresses and toys, but she still did not call him Papa. Ginny knew her daughter awaited her approval. Though grateful for Marcus' kindness to Lissy, she refused his advances again that night. She was determined to make the marriage work, however reprobate its origin, but she wasn't ready to share his bed yet. So when he stood up and stormed violently to leave the room, she rushed after him and grabbed his hand. How could she make him understand?

He pushed her away angrily. "The thing I don't understand, Virginia, is why the hell you could spread your legs for her fucking father, but not for me."

Ginny froze, her temper rising past a point of control. She slapped him, her pale palm leaving a red mark across his cheek. He grabbed her wrist and threw her viciously on the bed. Fear began to crawl up her spine as he strode closer to her.

He smiled sinisterly and shook his head. "Not tonight, Virginia. Tomorrow, you will be mine whether you like it or not. Either way, you can forget about seeing your precious piano ever again."

Ginny closed her eyes simply because she could not stand to see him anymore. She heard him turn out the lights and slam the door shut behind him.

It was a sleepless night for all she could think about was her piano. She decided to ignore his bluff. She would see it tomorrow morning. Bright and early, she and Lissy would go and play in the sand like they did today. She gazed out her balcony window until sunrise, anticipating the time she could spend alone with her daughter.

When at last they were on the path to the beach, Ginny felt her heart rising with unprecedented joy. She realized that these few hours would be her only joy for years to come.

Lissy skipped eagerly ahead, humming her favorite tune mindlessly on the cobblestone steps. She stopped at the end of the trail and gasped. "Mum!!"

Ginny hurried up behind her, lifting her long black skirt until she stood next to her daughter. There was nothing but sand between her and the ocean, a few old boards marking the place where her piano once stood.

Her heart's pace quickened in cold rage and sorrow. She spun around and stormed back to the manor. Lissy ran to keep up with her mother's hurried pace.

"I won't call him father, mum! No matter how much he wants me to."

Ginny stopped mid-step and dropped to her knees so her eyes met Lissy's perfectly. She hugged her daughter close and kissed her forehead. "Go play in our new castle," she signed. "Perhaps the servants will indulge you with some sweets."

Lissy looked from her mother's hands to her sad brown eyes. "No, I won't leave you. I won't call him papa. I won't call him anything. I won't even look at him."

Ginny smiled weakly and shook her head. "He is your papa now. He is our life. I will have a talk with him tonight. Perhaps he shall bring the piano back. You understand you need to be on your best behavior, you understand that-"

"I understand, mama." The girl reached out and clasped her mother's moving hands in her own. "I just wish we could go back to Grandma's house."

Ginny nodded and Lissy knew they both wanted the same thing.

"Someday, my dear..." Her hands paused as she trailed off. "But for now, we will live in this castle with its servants, like princesses."

Lissy giggled. "Like princesses."

Ginny left Lissy in the care of the Muggle house staff. She questioned a maid on the whereabouts of her husband. Quick to aid her new mistress, the servant led her through the convoluted route to her husband's office, meandering through hallways filled with ancient weaponry and artwork. Though well lit with large picture windows and chandeliers, every turn gave Ginny a foreboding tug. She paused in front of his door, uncertain about whether or not she should confront him in her current state. Finally fury overcame caution and she twisted the doorknob and entered with out a knock.

Marcus was sitting calmly behind his desk, and did not raise his head from his work to acknowledge her.

"I knew you would be here soon enough." He could hear her labored breathing, and thoughts of the famous Weasley temper rose in his mind. Before he had time to think further however, Ginny stalked over to his desk and knocked astray his papers, dirtying them with ink and coffee.

He looked up slowly in time to see her reach out and grab his lapels. He rose when she pulled him.

"I warned you of the consequences of your actions, Virginia. You will pay the price now. Your piano has been sold."

Before her slap could hit his face he grabbed her hands and pulled her close. She narrowed her eyes and struggled against his grasp. He threw her to the ground easily and stood over her like a snake over a wounded bird. "Think of this as a lesson for the future."

She stood shakily and raised her chin, a storm brewing in her eyes. After a few moments she spun and walked out of his door, her steps echoing in the cold halls.

********

"How did your mother lose her voice, dear?"

Lissy was in the kitchen, munching on shortbread cookies laid out before her by the cook. The grey-haired woman reminded her of her Grandma Molly, and Lissy warmed up to her immediately.

She pondered the question thoughtfully. "She stopped speaking when my father died."

"And who might that be?"

"He was her music teacher. She was his most prized student, the best opera-singer in the land. When he died, she was in so much grief that she vowed to never sing or speak again."

"Really, now. That's quite a tale," the cook replied with twinkling eyes.

"That's the truth." Lissy made sure to give the woman one last innocent glance before slipping off her stool and skipping out the kitchen. "Thanks for the cookies."

"Any time Lissy."

Once out the kitchen, she decided to wander the daunting castle like her mother suggested. She was wearing one of her new dresses and indeed felt like a princess on the spiraling staircases and Persian carpets.

********

I am not my daughter's real mother. She was born when I was eleven-years-old to my brother Bill and his wife, Cecilia. I do not know if Lissy truly can't remember her birth-mother, or if she simply does not talk about it. The human mind can do powerful things to block out the unwanted. Lissy was nearly five years old when I adopted her. A frightful mess she was, trembling from surviving an ordeal her mother could not. The war had just started and Bill was off fighting the forces of Voldemort. Hogwarts closed and the Burrow was empty save for Lissy and me. Even my mum picked up her wand and set off to aid in the fight against the Dark Lord.

It was my responsibility to look after the pale-haired child and I suppose that is how I became her mama. I still had my voice then and I sung her lullabies that soothed away her dark memories. I taught her to play the piano and I saw myself in her as I watched her pound the keys to scare away murky demons from the past. We were safe there, guarded by wards Dumbledore had put up himself.

********

Draco Malfoy's dinner was interesting affair at Flint manor. The ministry had stationed him at New Zealand for the very purpose of spying on Marcus Flint, a death-eater rising quickly in the ranks. After sealing the piano sale, he was invited to dine with Marcus and the new Mrs. Flint.

He had heard of the unfortunate wedding from various ministry and inner circle sources. Apparently, Marcus had agreed to spare Percy Weasley's life in exchange for her hand in marriage. Marcus and Percy were known rivals at Hogwarts and the animosity obviously still remained. Even Draco was surprised that Flint hated the Weasleys enough to bind himself to one of them in bitter matrimony. He suspected that Flint had married her because of her resemblance to his ex-girlfriend, and the pressing wishes of his mother that he married soon.

The meal was served in the formal dining room with Mr. and Mrs. Flint seated at opposite ends of the ridiculously long redwood table. She did not know of Draco's double agent status and greeted him with nothing more than a pert nod. She communicated only with her daughter, a chatty girl that reminded Draco of the Ginny Weasley he had known so long ago. Sometimes Lissy would translate her mother's gestures for Marcus and Draco to understand. More often than not, it was only a request for salt or pepper.

"Congratulations on your marriage," Draco said carefully as dessert was served.

"Did you hear that, dear? Mr. Malfoy is kind enough to congratulate us."

Ginny ignored this and continued to concentrate on her plate. Marcus laid his fork down and repeated himself. "Did you hear what I said Virginia?"

She looked up with indifference and signed her words to him.

"She says thank you Mr. Malfoy and also that she doesn't feel well. She would like to retire to the library and regrets missing coffee," Lissy elucidated carefully.

With a cold nod, Ginny then rose from the table and left.

"Very well, Lissy, you may be excused as well. I have a surprise for you in your room and perhaps you would like to see it," Marcus said after Ginny had shut the double doors to the dining room.

The girl simply shrugged and smiled. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow Marcus. Good night, Mr. Malfoy."

When she too had left, Draco leaned back into his chair and pushed his plate away. "You've got quite a lot on your hands here," he chuckled.

"You have no idea. I barely have the energy to deal with those two with our Lord expecting me to unearth the spells he needs." Marcus ran a tired hand through his dark hair. "By following our fathers into the inner circle, our own lives are also sacrificed to the cause. I sometimes can't remember why."

"Power," Draco answered. "We do it for power."

"Of course," he said, drowning down his glass of wine.

Draco left that night feeling genuinely sorry for both husband and wife.

**********

It was late by the time Marcus entered her bedroom through the crackling fire. This time however, Ginny was ready and she stood as his head and shoulders entered her room. She lifted a paper that had been resting on her desk thrust it out at him.

He looked at her suspiciously and snatched it from her hand. "Our marriage will not be consummated until my 18th birthday," he read with clenched teeth.

She tilted her chin proudly as if to dare him to challenge her, her eyes glinting dangerously in the firelight.

"Fine!" he snapped, crumpling the paper and tossing it into the flames. "You will have no excuses at that time and no objection with the company I shall keep!"

Ginny's lips pursed tightly and her hands twitched to retort. Instead, she nodded politely and motioned to the door for him to leave. His angry eyes looked her up and down as he strode by her. Without warning he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her to him.

She felt her voice rising in the back of her throat in protest, but as usual, no sound came out. Marcus' lips mashed against hers painfully and she could do little to protest. Her hands pushed at his shoulders and later at his arms as they encircled her. His crooked teeth bit and sucked at her lower lip until she opened her mouth for his tongue. She shook her head and backed away, trying to break free of his embrace. They broke apart when she fell back on to the bed. He immediately pushed himself on top of her, but he did not kiss her again.

"Until your birthday arrives, Ginny. You can't fight me then."

She exhaled when she felt his weight ease of her and stared numbly as he left through the Floo with a resounding crack. Lifting a cold hand to her bruising lips, she blinked away rising tears. She had less then a month before that night.

**********

I don't know what I expected to find in this marriage with the Virginia. I barely noticed her at Hogwarts. She was after all just another Weasley with another batch of freckles and mop of red hair. Then again, I barely noticed anyone my last two years at school - that is anyone but Katie Bell. She was everything that I wasn't: sweet, brave, and Gryffindor. We were each other's dark secrets: I her guilty pleasure and her, my reluctant angel. We shared clandestine kisses and warm nights in every nook and cranny Hogwarts had to offer. It took me a long time to realize how much I needed her and by the time I did, it was too late. She was Katie Wood by then and I was already initiated into Voldemort's inner circle. In the end, she was still a Gryffindor and I a Slytherin.

The war's end is not far now and it looks bleak for my lord's side. I sold Ginny's piano because I knew that it would hurt her, the same way Katie hurt me when she sent me the wedding invitation. The Woods are dead now and perhaps I will be soon. Either way, Lissy and her mother will be free of me before long and until then, I will be sure to enjoy Percy Weasley's little sister as my reluctant angel.

**********

Time passed slowly, yet the days flew by for Ginny and Lissy. The latter adapted quickly, as all children do, to Flint manor and its luxurious lifestyle. She had servants to play with her, to teach her, and her mother's piano soon disappeared from a concerns. Ginny was glad to see her happy, but could not find her own in their new life. Marcus spoiled Lissy, filling her room with every item she asked for, though he barely gave a second glance to his wife. Then again, who would to a mute?

Ginny tumbled deeper into depression with each sunrise and sunset, without a soul to speak to besides children's chatter with her daughter. Her heart ached for her family and her fingers and soul itched for her piano. She knew Marcus had sold it to Draco, a rich bastard that couldn't even play. Malfoy had told her himself one afternoon on his daily flying trip when he swooped down to have a chat with the new Mrs. Flint as she strolled along the beach. In fact, it would be on another one of these afternoon meetings that he would make a proposal that would change her life forever.

Lissy was working on her lessons with Aunt Marcy, the Flint's motherly cook. With nothing to do, Ginny grabbed her bonnet and set out for the inviting beach. She often stared across the horizon and wondered if anyone had the stamina to swim through the ocean home, or the guts to die trying. In a rare moment of relaxation, she lay down in the sand and gazed into the endless blue sky. The sun shone brightly, blessing her with lazy comfort and warmth, her eyes closed and she almost forgot where she was. As she lost focus, she drifted to her past. She was laying on the Great Lawn on the last days of term, snuggled in the arms of Harry as he tugged playfully on her auburn curls.

But there was no hand by her or arm around her waist, but rather an unwelcome shadow above her. She was no longer in England, but under the New Zealand sky back in bleak reality.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Flint."

Ginny's eyes snapped open and she sat up abruptly, startled to find Draco Malfoy starring down at her.

"I was about to suggest that you go indoors, unless you wanted even more freckles." He reached down and held out a hand to help her up. Grudgingly, she took it.

"Would you like to join me for tea, Mrs. Flint?"

She glared at him, dusting sand of her pale green sundress as she did so. He took her hand and held out his broom.

"I insist. I have a proposition for you."

His touch was strangely cool in the warm weather. She pulled her hand back and turned to walk away.

"There is a way for you to have your piano back."

She stopped abruptly and turned to look at him quizzically.

"For a price. I'll explain over tea."

He held out his hand again, and she took it without hesitation.