Light's End

Chapter 10: Assertion

3:30 AM

The wall didn't change.

Why would it?

The wall hadn't changed in three hours.

Zacharias had excused himself from the terrified students down in the Hufflepuff Common Room. He was sitting at his desk, dressed out of his school robes and wearing little more than a black sweater and navy blue pajama bottoms. Dirt and grim still smudged his cheeks and thickened his brown hair from the trip to the dungeon yesterday morning. Lit only by a lamp, the room was dark and dreary, just the way Zacharias liked it. Ernie and British were downstairs with the other students; huddling together must have been a source of comfort for them. Let them all have each other. I have no one, and that's the way I like it.

"Why did you let me die, Z?"

He snorted into his arm. His cheek had fallen asleep in its fixed position upon the crook of his elbow, but he was nowhere close to following its example. Zacharias's mind had been silent for many hours. How long could one exist without having thoughts, he had wondered, before realizing he had just thought of something. Yet, for all the random thoughts that could find their way into his mind, the important ones were fuzzy.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE..."

He no longer mourned Justin's death. In fact, no longer was he 'Justin' - it was just 'the boy'. He couldn't even remember the boy's face anymore. How can you mourn someone you can't even picture? Is it even possible?

Zacharias was mourning himself. Many times in the past, he had thrown his hands up in the air in frustration and said 'I give up' - followed by a laugh. Often Hannah or the boy would beat him at Wizard's Chess, and before the final moves were given, he'd flick over his king and say 'I give up' in a calm, easy and dismissive tone. Never had he really meant it, of course. He was just in a rush to get a clean board once more and try again.

"I don't want to die..."

After the boy's death and his effort to pawn his death off on someone else, it stopped mattering. Zacharias had given up, and tonight, he was wiping the slate clean. Ruthless as it was, he had burned all of the boy's possessions in the fireplace next to him. Ernie and British had both given him a dubious looks, but neither had the spine or the nerve to stop him. Hannah would be furious, but Zacharias didn't care. He had given up and now wanted a clean slate. Perhaps his parents would have liked his stuff - but to bloody hell with them. This was his show; they didn't even know he was dead yet.

As long as the boy had a name, identity and possessions within sight, the slate would never get cleaned. Once his posters, school supplies and clothing were shapeless ashes, Zacharias had collapsed into his desk and stared at the wall. The wall didn't move, but as his eyes dried and watered, the wall went out of focus. When he blinked, it was a new wall - crisp, clean and ready. The exercise had not lost its appeal and even three hours later, he used that hypnotic pattern to write the boy out of his mind.

"Please - don't leave me, Z!"

Yet, while he had demolished all of the boy's personal items, he had stopped at one. Upon his desk, there had been a group picture of Hannah, him and the boy - Hannah in the middle with her arms slung around the necks of the other two. They had gone everywhere together since third year - the picture had been perfect replication of what it was like. The boy had always been too lazy to initiate much in the way of activities, and Zacharias was a recluse who enjoyed his own company a bit too much to be healthy. Yet Hannah was always hyperactive and delighted in dragging all the sixth year Hufflepuffs wherever she wanted them to go. She had dragged them all around Hogsmeade during their third year. She had secured them all front row seats to the 1st Task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament by dragging them out of bed a full hour early. Zacharias had watched with bitter jealousy as Harry Potter dominated the dragon in a way that any seeker could - had it been Zacharias on the broom, he'd have looked larger than life too.

Finally, it was Hannah who had dragged all of them to Potter's Defense Against the Dark Arts class... and boy, had Zacharias gone kicking and screaming. The last thing he wanted was to feed that showboat's ego. What kind of mental case believed they could teach a class of similar aged students? Yet, Zacharias had to admit... within a few meetings, Potter had proved him completely wrong. Potter was a natural leader and a good teacher, as loath as he was to admit it. The boy had been a huge fan of his, ever since second year. After all, he had trusted him enough to follow him into the jaws of his own death - and Zacharias had nearly followed both of them.

There was a knock at the door.

"Leave me alone," Zacharias muttered loudly.

"Zack," Hannah called from outside. "Please open the door."

Zacharias blinked and sighed. His eyes burned from long exposure to the dry air. He chewed on his lip for a moment, torn between his loyalty for his friend and his desire to be absolutely isolated for a very long time.

At last, he rose from the desk, his body creaking with protest. He moved to the door and gave the doorknob a flick. It creaked open, and by the time Hannah had entered the room, Zacharias was back at his desk, head down staring the wall.

While he didn't look at her, he knew from the sound of her voice that she had been crying. The realization began to choke him up.

"Zack - please, talk to me."

He hated being called 'Zack,' but he was not in the mood to correct her. Instead, he asked, "Why?"

The word sounded cold in his mind, but that was how he felt and he was in no mood to coat his words with sugar.

"Ernie told me what you did..."

Zacharias's face hardened and he felt his mouth twist into a scowl. He was sure she couldn't see his face and for that he was glad. It would be much harder to maintain if he knew she'd see it. He remained silent.

"Why did you burn his things?"

Zacharias didn't speak.

"Zack..." her voice was beginning to break up once more.

"You know I hate being called that," he said darkly.

Hannah had drawn closer. She was hovering over him now. Zacharias stared at the wall, pretending not to care.

"... how could you?" she asked. Her voice was soft and mild - not accusing, yet beneath was a passionate anger ready to erupt.

Before he realized it, he was bolting upright, knocking over his chair and shoving his desk into the wall with a loud slam. Hannah leapt back with a squeak as he rounded on her.

"HOW COULD I?" barked Zacharias. "YES, A GREAT QUESTION! LET'S START WITH THAT! HOW COULD I KEEP MY SANITY WHILE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH HIS SMELL!" He balled his fists at his side, and forced himself into a quieter tone, though no less angry. "How could I clear my mind when everywhere I look, I see someone trapped in a prison cell looking at me for help? How could I... How could I breathe in a room filled with HIM after watching him die... I needed to burn them! I needed to clear my mind!" He gripped his head. "I want him to shut up! His voice keeps ringing in my ears, telling me how he doesn't want to die? Can you imagine how that feels?"

Hannah swallowed a lump in her throat, and took a step closer to him. Zacharias drew away, as if wounded and held up his hands toward her.

"Get away from me! Don't touch me... don't... I just want to be alone for God sakes! Can't you just leave me the hell alone?"

Hannah drew away from him. "I... I can imagine how it feels. You weren't the only one who loved him."

Zacharias looked at her with accusing eyes. She had suspected Hannah and Justin were a lot closer than he was to either of them, yet he had never minded or cared. He was the type of person who loved keeping people at an arm's length. He had never so much as kissed a girl or been on a date. An only child, his mother was a Ministry of Magic employee and his father was a Cabbie; often, neither of them returned home from work until he was asleep. He couldn't remember ever being touched by them.

"Is that what you came here to tell me?"

She shook her head. "No... God no, that's not it. Please, Zacharias, don't shut me out. I want to help you - I need to help someone."

"I'm not like a normal person!" exclaimed Zacharias. "If I was, than maybe talking to you would help! But it doesn't - it makes me feel worse! I WANT TO BE BY MYSELF!"

He collapsed onto his bed, gripping his head still. He squeezed his eyes shut, but tears still fell. Hannah hadn't moved any closer, but nor had she drawn away. He wished with all his heart that she would just go, but deep down, he knew she wouldn't. And while he wanted her to go, he wasn't sure he wanted to be alone anymore either. It was a paradox that he didn't know how to face.

"I lost one friend today," Hannah said softly. "I don't want to loose you too, Zacharias."

She reached out and stroked the back of his head. This time, he didn't pull away - he accepted it, even though his first impulse was to yell at her again. He wiped his eyes, and looked up at her, looking little like a lost child.

"I'm sorry," Zacharias said. "I'm... really messed up now." He looked away from her. "Leave."

Hannah, on the verge of tears herself, just nodded. "All right, Zacharias - try to get some sleep."

Zacharias waved her away and settled back into his bed. As she turned to go, Zacharias spoke one last time. "I think we'll be joining him before long."

Hannah paused for a split second and shivered. She didn't speak, however, and after a tense beat, resumed her stride and left the room.

"Ah, Z, aren't you just a fountain of optimism?"

Zacharias wanted to say something extremely negative, but instead, pushed his head back into the pillow. Despite how tired he felt, he knew tonight would be a sleepless night.

He had a lot to think about.

* * * * * *

Dawn

The night ended. The day began.

All across the Wizarding World, the mothers, fathers and younger and older siblings of those attending Hogwarts rose from their beds, dressed, accepted constructive criticism from their bathroom mirrors and attended to overseeing the pots and pans as they created breakfast. Marla Finch-Fletchley hummed a soothing song as she prepared a magical meal for her Muggle husband and her squib daughter, who was a year older than Justin and happily attending public Muggle High School and had made Head Girl. She began to set three plates upon the table, blissfully unaware that her son was dead.

Arthur Weasley had awoken as well - it was a miserable day when one had to work on Saturday, but what could he do? Someone had let loose a flock of pixies in Edinburgh, and the town was in utter chaos. His team was called in to perform the mass memory charms. At least his magical wand was holding up its own weight, even if he wasn't this early in the morning. He passed the clock in the kitchen and checked the status of all his children. Bill and Charlie were both 'at home,' - Fred and George were 'up to no good' (This, of course, came as no surprise to the elder Weasley). Percy's hand had been set at a thirteenth location that Fred and George had created over the summer - 'Being a Fudge-Loving, Boot-Licking Git.' Arthur had reprimanded them both firmly, yet had never changed it back. Finally, Ron and Ginny were both set to 'at school'. He smiled and fetched a cup of coffee, unknowing that if he had come down at any time during the night for a snack, he'd have noticed both his youngest children's hands set firmly to 'In Mortal Peril.'

To those inside Hogwarts, it came as a welcome breath of fresh air. The Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors, knowing exactly what they were facing, were quick to flee in mass Exodus from their common rooms. There would be no attacks during the daylight. Both houses had gathered in the Great Hall - sitting in tense silence, waiting for the Hufflepuffs. When long minutes had ticked by, murmuring whispers began to break the silence, and Lisa grew extremely concerned.

"Ron had said Dean had warned them," Lisa whispered, fear etched upon her face. "They should have known, right?"

Terry frowned, scratching his hairless chin. The bandage had been removed this morning from his head, and he was in tip-top shape once more. "That's assuming he didn't get killed on the way."

Luna was sitting across from her, trying to make a pyramid out of forks, spoons and knives. She didn't seem to be listening.

"No," said Lisa at once, "That wouldn't make sense - Ron had to come twice as far to get to us, and he succeeded."

Terry shrugged, "Nothing against Ron, but if we take his story as he told it, he got saved twice by blind dues ex machina. Dean may not have been so lucky."

"Meh, will ya both shut up?" asked Anthony, "I'm too hungry to think! I don't suppose a simple, 'Scrambled Eggs' will get the house elves..."

At the mere mention of the food, a plate full of scrambled eggs, sunny side up, materialized in front of him. His jaw fell slack.

"The house elves haven't stopped working!" exclaimed Lisa.

Terry shrugged. "Why wouldn't they? They are bound to do their duties, regardless of the circumstances. Unless the raptors specifically attacked them..."

"Yeah, but, I mean - doesn't their duty include cleaning?" asked Luna, in an airy voice, as she precariously balanced a fork atop an upright knife. "I'd think, after what happened in the Slytherin Common Room, it wouldn't be the cleanest place in the world - what, with all the torn furniture and blood stains."

"I'm afraid that doesn't matter," replied Terry. "They'd be forced to clean it unless they got permission from the Headmaster not to."

Just then, three other students made their way over to the Ravenclaw table. Lisa looked away from Luna's utensil pyramid and focused on Harry, Ron and Blaise.

"May we join you?" asked Harry.

Lisa nodded at once and slid down. Luna's pyramid collapsed as she misplaced a spoon - she was too busy staring at Ron.

"Of course," Terry said, "What's on your minds?"

Blaise spoke next, "Actually - it's on all our minds. We've got about ten hours before the sun sets again, and we are going to make the most of it." She swept her eyes around her, looking at Lisa, Terry, Anthony and Luna all in kind. Padma Patil, Cho Chang and several other older Ravenclaws had stopped their conversations and were listening in.

Blaise continued, "We've decided on a plan. We're going to split our focuses; half of us are going to spend the day in the library, looking for every book that might be applicable to our situation - books about Hogwarts, books about the undead, books about Dark Arts - the works. Then, we are going to move all those books into the Ravenclaw Common Room."

Terry nodded, "A good plan - we can research during the night, when we otherwise could do nothing."

Padma Patil disagreed, "But, we have no way to relaying that information to people in the other Common Rooms - what we learn cannot be shared with the Gryffindors."

It seemed as though the fate of Hufflepuff was not being discussed at this point in time.

"That is why we are over here," said Harry. "From this point forward - the words Gryffindor, Ravenclaw..." He looked pointfully at Blaise "... and Slytherin cease to apply. The smartest and most bookish of our houses will stay in the Ravenclaw Common Room, along with a small force of the best D.A. members - it will be our library."

The gathered Ravenclaws all nodded. Lisa couldn't help but smile, for she was encouraged by Harry's calm focus.

"What about Hufflepuff? What's going on there?" she asked.

Harry inclined his head toward Lisa. "Hermione and Seamus have taken a few Gryffindors to check on them." His eyes flickered for a moment. "But... we can't expect too much."

"Anyway," said Harry, looking to Cho Chang, Padma and Anthony. "Decide who amongst your house are the best researchers and send them up to the library."

"What about the latter half?" ventured Terry. "I reckon that most of them will be younger students."

Harry and Blaise both looked to Ron, and he spoke at last, "I'm going to select the best DA students to help me with them - and we're going to teach them the best damned spells for our situation that we can."

Upon seeing Blaise's scathing look, Ron glared at her but amended himself, "... best defense against the Dark Arts students, rather."

Appeased, Blaise looked back to Terry.

"And what will you be doing this whole time, Harry?" asked Luna, who had begun her stack of silverware anew.

Harry heaved a deep sigh, "I'm going to gather a handful of the very best... and I'm going to find their coffins while they rest in them."

"Whoa there," Anthony said at once. "You don't honestly reckon they left that place unguarded?"

"Right, Harry," interjected Lisa. "Remember what killed Justin?"

"... and Goyle is somewhere on the loose as well," added Ron. "But, our odds against whatever killed Justin and Goyle are much higher than our odds against two-hundred vampires." He then hissed nervously. "... maybe four-hundred now."

Just then, the doors to the Great Hall burst open and Hermione entered, followed by Seamus, followed by a horde of Hufflepuff students. Everyone gathered at the Ravenclaw table heaved a collective sigh of relief - everyone save Ron.

"Where's Dean?" he demanded at once, rushing over to Hermione and Seamus.

Many others rose as well, Lisa included. Only now, when she saw Seamus Finnigan, the Gryffindor prefect, did she notice the tears in his eyes. She gasped, putting her hand to her mouth.

"He never made it," voiced the curly haired Zacharias Smith. Lisa noticed he had cleaned himself up a bit since their failed expedition yesterday.

"We have to assume the worst," added Hermione, who was holding Seamus's arm. The boy looked stricken and barely receptive. "Dean may now be our enemy - I've already sent Colin up to the tower with instructions on how to change the password."

Lisa glanced to Harry and noticed that he had cast his eyes down to his shoes. His face was creased with shame and anger. Before she could say anything comforting, Blaise wrapped her arm around his waste and inclined her head to look into his eyes.

"Don't think for one minute that it's your fault," Blaise said, her voice firm and strong. "It shouldn't have been you instead and you can't handle everything by yourself - you aren't all that good of a wizard."

Harry glanced up at her - it seemed her blunt honesty had broken his barrier of despair before it could ever truly form.

"Now, every second you sulk is a second wasted in the defense of the rest of us - you're a damn good leader, so act like it."

Lisa's eyes widened, but it seemed as though that was exactly what Harry needed to hear. He gave Blaise a barely perceptible nod and clambered atop the Ravenclaw's table.

* * * * * *

8:03 AM

Indeed, Lisa was correct - those were the exact words Harry had needed to hear. After his experience with Draco Malfoy and Seamus and Hermione's demand to get some sleep, Harry had begun to second guess every decision he had made that night and the day before. He had questioned whether it would be best for someone else to lead - perhaps even Blaise herself, for she was a no-nonsense charismatic sort who was well aware of the limitations and powers of their raptor enemies. Yet, embodied in the simple words Blaise had given him, Harry had a sudden revelation. Blaise wasn't one for appeasements and seemed the type who did not respect stupid decisions. Nevertheless, she believed in him, a Slytherin of all people. Perhaps if she believed in him, everyone else did as well.

Maybe his choices were the only ones that would make people feel safe, whether they are right or wrong.

With that came a whole new set of pressures and fears, but Harry put those aside for now. Harry, Hermione, Blaise, Seamus, Ginny, Parvati, Lavender and Colin (who was gradually working his way up Harry's respect ladder) had come up with this plan last night - the bastard child of the finest minds in Gryffindor. Now, it was time to exercise it.

"Er - hey everyone. Can I get your attention?" asked Harry. Harry only wished he had the frame of mind to pick better attention grabbers.

Nonetheless, it did the trick. All of the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Gryffindors ceased their conversations and looked to Harry. The Hufflepuffs had settled down at their table, and had just finished ordering their breakfasts.

Once all eyes were on him, he realized his shortcomings as a motivational speaker. "Okay - er - my friends and I kinda formed a plan last night."

Harry explained the details of the plan - half of their houses would move damn near every book in the library into the Ravenclaw Common Room. With over three-hundred hands, despite the sheer volume of tomes, that should be a feasible plan. Reading them would be an entirely different matter.

Second, Harry introduced Ron to those who didn't know him, and explained that Ron would be handpicking some students to teach every younger student every applicable spell in the book. Ron stood up next to Harry and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"And lastly... I'm going to lead another small group around Hogwarts."

"What for?" someone called out from the Hufflepuff table.

"Well - er... we're going to find where this raptors bed down during the day."

The Great Hall erupted with murmurs - some of approval, some of disgust. Harry overheard someone from the Ravenclaw table mutter "After the last expedition he led? Is he stark barmy?"

Harry pressed his lips together in irritation. "We cannot fight what we cannot see - we need to know where to strike when the time comes if any of us are going to get out of here alive!" When anger took the driver's seat, he felt twice as confident. "I'm not going to demand anyone come with me, but I want three or four volunteers! Who's with me?"

Silence reigned over the Great Hall. Ron couldn't be blamed - he had his own set of duties, as did Hermione and Seamus, who would be helping him. Yet, when no one spoke, Harry's face flushed with humiliation.

Suddenly, Blaise stood from the Ravenclaw table. "I'm with you."

A loud 'no' echoed from right near her. Harry turned his head just in time to see Lisa grabbing Terry Boot's arm, but he pulled it away from her gently and stood. "As am I."

More silence, then Harry's surprise for the day. The last person Harry expected rose from the Hufflepuff table.

"Then, I'll be representing Hufflepuff," said Zacharias Smith. "I won't be letting you other bastards hog all the fun." He then looked directly at Hannah Abbot - she looked shocked by his words.

Harry couldn't help but smirk. Imagine that - the colossal wanker even managed to sound magnanimous. "Anyone else?" asked Harry.

Another surprise, though to a lesser extent, came from Lisa Turpin who had just spent some of her energy trying to dissuade Terry. Perhaps the 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' mentality won out.

"I-I'll come..." she said, wiping sweat from her brow. "I - I'm neither a good teacher nor a good researcher."

"Very well - it's settled. Prefects, break up those under your charge as best you know them, and let's not waste any more time," said Harry.

With those final words, the words Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were forgotten.

* * * * * *

8:21

Hermione had managed to detach herself from Seamus, leaving him in the care of Lavender and Parvati for just a moment. She raced out of the Great Hall, in the direction Harry and his company had departed. She caught a glimpse of Terry Boot rounding a corridor that would lead toward the dungeons, and called out quickly.

"Harry!"

The company stopped, and all turned toward Hermione. Lisa, Terry, Zach and Blaise parted, revealing Harry, who was looking at her with a mixture of nervous apprehension and cold indifference.

"What?" he asked.

His tone made Hermione shiver - bad blood still existed between them because of last night.

"Can we get a minute?" she asked, looking to those who followed him.

Blaise arched a brow, but Terry nodded. "Of course - c'mon - this way."

Terry led the rest of them down the corridor a ways.

A moment of silence pursued, but Harry's expression had softened ten fold. For just a split second, Hermione saw within those large, green pupils the boy he once was - inquisitive, quiet and ... soft - human.

"Hermione... look... about last night..."

Hermione stepped closer to him, her eyes fixed on his and planted a kiss upon his lips. It wasn't the kind of kiss that engrossed any long, romantic urges, though it caught Harry completely by surprise. She broke the kiss off before the 'smack' of her lips had finished ringing in Harry's ears and instead took him into an embrace. "I love you, Harry," she said softly. "And you were so right - about... about everything. I... something happened to me this year... maybe it even started last year... ever since..."

Her voice was loosing its stability and Harry wrapped his arms around her. "I understand. I shouldn't have..."

"... no, please - let me finish," Hermione pleaded.

Harry rubbed the back of her head gently and nodded.

"... ever since the Department of Mysteries... I've changed. You saw it before me, but I did. When that horrid man struck me down with but a single curse... I changed. When I came to, I realized that books were not the answer anymore. What good did all my hard work and studying do if my life is so fragile that one single dunce with a wand can take me down?"

Harry could feel her tears staining his shoulders. He hugged her more tightly, his fingers squeezing her shoulders. Her words began to mirror his own thoughts on what had happened, and he felt a lump growing in his throat.

"I started worrying about Seamus... about my life... it wasn't that I ever enjoyed working so much; it was that I thought it could keep me safe. When I realized that I was the first to fall - the first person out - I began to think that maybe all my hard work was in vain. Maybe I'll never be a great wizard... maybe I should just... live life, you know?"

"Yes," whispered Harry. "I know. But you are a great wizard..."

Hermione drew away, looking him in the eyes. His eyes were ringed with moisture, but she knew Harry wasn't going to cry - Harry never cried. "I'm not, and really, it doesn't bother me anymore. Being a great wizard isn't the most important thing. I started relaxing and... well... I started enjoying my life so much more." She then cast her eyes down. "It got to the point where - maybe - I lived life a little too much and forgot sight of what was most important... you... Ron... Seamus..." She lowered her eyes. "... my duties."

Harry leaned forward, probably to kiss her again, but she jerked her head back - no, she couldn't. She only had one kiss in her for him... if she gave him another, she might not be able to restrain herself and give him as many as he wanted.

Harry pulled his head back, blushing mildly. Nevertheless, he kept holding her.

"You are my best friend, Hermione," said Harry. "No matter what you do... or how you change - how I change... you'll always be my best friend."

Hermione choked on a sob and gradually drew away from him. She smiled weakly. "I guess we've all changed since that conflict - Ron's become more sincere... you've become more sardonic... and I've..."

"... become more horny?" ventured Harry. He broke into a bright, genuine smile.

"I was going to say carefree, Harry!" she exclaimed, blushing as well. She kept herself from scowling and even managed a smile of her own. "... You're so impossible!"

"You're right," Harry winked - something she hadn't seen him do in years. "Anyway, good luck, Hermione. I will see you tonight."

Hermione brushed her finger against his cheek, wishing she could do a lot more. She knew these thoughts were dark and traitorous - it was Seamus she should be thinking about, not Harry. But, ever since he had spoken to her in such a cold manner, she had been unable to do anything but think about him. Those words he had said after blasting apart the door to her room had slapped her awake. When he had left with what she had thought was their friendship, shattered forever, it had awakened in her a feeling of emptiness.

She was in love with him - she only realized that after he nearly ended their friendship.

"Harry... one last thing."

He didn't reply, but remained respectfully silent.

"At the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump... don't be a hero. If you have to, please, just run."

"Forrest who?" asked Harry. Hermione realized that even though Harry lived with Muggles, they probably didn't expose him to very many movies.

"Nevermind Harry - but run if you have to... for me, please."

Harry sighed and looked at Hermione. "I won't leave anyone behind. Never again."

With that, Harry brushed a strand of her wavy hair out of her face, turned, and walked away. Hermione was never religious, but in that moment, she prayed to a higher power a few words. Please, don't make this the last time I see him.

That said, she turned away as well and headed back to the Great Hall.