My Funny Valentine

Harry Potter Fanfic No. III

It was the beginning of a brilliant spring. Small flowers and bulbs were appearing, and the leaves on the trees were beginning to grow again. The lake that surrounded the ancient castle of Hogwarts, which had been for so long frozen during the depths of winter, was beginning to thaw out--probably because the giant squid, which had migrated in search of warmer waters, had decided to come back, and Professor Dumbledore was far too fond of it to let it die of frostbite.

A large group of Gryffindor 3^rd Years sat outside, using their cloaks as blankets, and gossiping away. Suddenly they stopped. A tall, slender boy, with messy black hair and intensely green eyes was walking past, but stopped to look at them. He was dressed warmly in a black sweater, his Hogwarts cloak slung over his shoulder. He regarded them for a moment, before smiling and continuing inside. Soon the 3^rd Years began to talk again; their topic, the black-haired boy. They were all in awe of him, mostly because of the tales that ran around the school like wildfire: he had faced He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named seven times--once, when he was only a baby, and the others at the end of ever school year since he had started at Hogwarts. It was both scary and comforting to know that among them, Harry Potter lived, slept and ate, making them both safe and vulnerable.

"I heard that he turned Draco Malfoy into a weasel in his 4^th Year," a small, blonde girl whispered. Her companions nodded.

"One of the third years told me that he has a tail feather from the exact same phoenix as You-Know-Who does!" a lanky, dark-skinned boy added. Soon everyone was adding something that they had heard about Harry Potter.

"Hello, Azra. Having a nice time?" a kind voice asked above the group. Azra, the small blonde girl, looked up, and smiled.

"Oh, hi, Ginny," she said. Everyone liked Virginia Weasley--more commonly known as Ginny--namely because she was always helpful and kind (though the boys probably liked her more for her stunning looks than her cooperative nature).

"What're you talking about?"

"We're talking about Harry Potter," Azra replied casually. Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"Did you know that Harry's a Parseltongue, and that he saved a girl in his second year?" an Asian-looking girl asked eagerly. Ginny smiled.

"Oh, yes. I know the girl he saved very well, in fact!" she said. Immediately she caught the group's interest, and they crowded around her.

"Who is it?"

"Don't you already know?" she asked, a little surprised.

"C'mon, Ginny, tell us who it is!"

"Yeah, Gin, please!"

"Is it Parvarti Patil?"

"Or Lavender Brown?"

"What about--"

"Enough! It wasn't Parvarti and it wasn't Lavender--they wouldn't be caught in as filthy a place as the Chamber of Secrets. No, not them. Tell you what. I'll give the person who guesses who it is a big bar of Honeydukes Chocolate. And you can only have one guess. So, ah...let's see...how many of you are there? Eight? Ok. I will give you one week--only one week, mind you--to find out, and then you have to submit a name, and if you supply me with a false answer, or if I find out you've cheating in any way, you are disqualified. Though I'll still get you something, just to be nice. Are you all up for it?" she asked. They all nodded vigorously. A bar of chocolate from Honeydukes was not a prize to be given up.

"Good. Then start thinking up names--good luck!"

~*~

"Ow! Hermione, watch where you're stepping!"

"Oh, sorry, Harry! Hey! Ron! Don't do that! You'll make me sneeze!"

"How can I help it? Gosh, Harry, I think we're getting too old for this!"

"Too old! I think you mean too big!"

A patch of air near a big painting of a fruit bowl rippled as Harry pulled his Invisibility Cloak off.

"Hermione, go on," he urged, pushing Hermione towards the painting. She nodded, and reached up to tickle the pear that was balancing precariously on the edge of the fruit bowl. It giggled, and immediately disappeared, to be replaced by a doorhandle. Ron grasped it, and pulled. Harry and Hermione followed him quickly into the room.

"Harry Potter! You is coming to visit Dobby!"

Harry grinned.

"Hi, Dobby. How're you going?" he said to the small house elf who was looking up at hi, grinning like a fool. He noted with some amusement Dobby's clothing--an outrageously orange baby bonnet, with large holes to accommodate his large ears, odd socks (one of which Harry recognised as one he had given him as a gift--scarlet, with tiny Snitches fluttering around), what looked like barf-green swimming trunks, and a black bikers' t-shirt with the words 'get something between your legs--get a motorbike' stamped on them in flaming letters, complementing the large-breasted woman who sat on a silver bike, wearing only a bikini and a rather uncomfortable-looking pair of muddy boots.

Ron seemed to have noticed the t-shirt too, because he refused to look at the house elf. Hermione saw it as well, but she completely ignored it, acting as if it didn't exist.

"Dobby is doing fine, sir, but how is you doing?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How's Winky?"

"Winky is doing fine too, sir!" Dobby said, his face cracking into a smile. "She is liking her new work at Hogwarts very much, sir! And...and she is forgetting...Master Crouch," Dobby whispered, glancing around. Hermione shuffled awkwardly. She'd been the one who had made Winky return to work, having persuaded her to don the house elf uniform at Hogwarts--a tea towel draped like a toga, stamped with the Hogwarts crest.

"Right, well, we really just came to say hi, so--" Hermione began, but immediately Dobby shoved some food into her hands.

"Please, be taking some food with you!" he said energetically. Soon a whole crowd of house elves bunched up around them, offering food and drinks galore. Harry and Ron gladly took the extra food, but Hermione refused it politely.

"No, thanks, I'm full, really!" she said, before opening the door. The boys followed her, and Harry pulled the cloak over them again. Then the usual argument broke out.

"Ouch! Hey, Ron! Quit it!"

"Don't whine, Herm. Oi! Harry! Watch those clumsy feet of yours, will you?"

"Me?! You're the one who's stuffing your face and getting crumbs and cream all over my cloak!"

"Oh, really, you two!"

"Sssh! I hear someone coming!"

Quickly the invisible trio ducked into an empty classroom. A group of around eight 3^rd Years walked by, talking loudly.

"So, who d'you think it is?" one boy asked.

"I dunno. Maybe we should ask him?" another said, shrugging.

"No! What if Ginny found out? She'd disqualify you immediately!" a girl protested.

"Not if we do it discreetly!"

"Well, I don't think it's worth it. We'd be risking an entire slab of Honeydukes chocolate, and you know that everyone says theirs is the best!"

"She said she'd be getting something for all of us!"

"So?"

"So we won't be risking anything! Anyway, the person who wins won't eat all the chocolate by themselves. They'll need help!"

"Hmm. Whatever, Jason. If that's the way you feel, if I win, I won't share anything with you! I'll share it only with Azra and Lucia!"

"Fine, Mia! You're outnumbered, by the way! Five boys to three girls. Chances are, we'll win!" Jason said hotly.

The group stopped right outside the classroom that Harry, Hermione and Ron were hiding in. An argument started, and Azra, Lucia and Mia broke away from Jason and the other boys. Azra held up her hand, and waved her arms.

"Stop it. We're being childish. Let's go into this classroom--there's bound to be a stick of chalk and we can write down who we think it could be," she said. The rest stopped fighting, considered the proposition, and then trooped into the room. The invisible trio huddled into a corner opposite the blackboard, and waited to see what would happen. Azra took up a stick of chalk, and stepped up beside the board.

"Right. Now, I suppose there're Parvarti Patil..."

"No. Remember, Ginny said she wasn't the one?"

"Oh yeah. Neither was Lavender either...so...Hermione."

"Hermione Granger? The Head Girl?"

"Yes, why not? She seems like the type Harry Potter would go after! Who else?"

"That Asian girl who left last year...whatshername...Cho Chang, that's it."

"Good one, Mark. How about Eloise Midgen?"

Quite a few of the group started laughing at the suggestion.

"What? She's really nice!" Jason said hotly.

"Ooo, Jason's got a crush! Jason's got a crush!" the girls began to chant in singsong voices. Jason blushed.

"Well, she is a girl," he said, shrugging. Two of the boys, who had been whispering in each other's ears, burst out laughing.

"What if it's...Millicent Bulstrode?" they whispered. Everyone began to hoot with laughter.

"No way! But it's a good one, I have to admit," Jason grinned. "And what about Padma Patil? She sometimes hangs around with him--there could be a hidden history there," he added. Azra nodded, and wrote her name down.

"Oh! Blaise Zabini! She's a Slytherin, but she's still really pretty, and maybe he goes for looks..."

"And there's always that Hufflepuff girl, Hannah Abbott," Azra said.

Harry looked at the list from under his cloak, while elbowing Ron in the ribs, who was busy trying to contain his laughter.

"What does the list say?" Hermione whispered in his ear, one hand covering Ron's mouth.

"Hermione Granger, Cho Chang, Eloise Midgen, Blaise Zabini, Padma Patil, and Hannah Abbott."

"I have another one you could use," Jason was saying, and all eyes turned to look at him.

"What if it's Ginny?"

~*~

Ginny sat in the library, reading. Her book was propped up on a flask of water, and she was reading the book rapidly. It was entitled 'Around the Mountain', by Sheila B. Cumming, and it was an incredibly funny book, making her laugh ever second word or so. Or maybe that was just the Cheering Charm the author had put on it...whatever the case, at some point in the book, she's begun to cry with suppressed laughter. She wiped her eyes, and turned the page.

"Good book?"

She looked up, and grinned. Harry was standing there, casually leaning on the chair opposite her.

"Very," she replied, taking a drink from the flask. He sat down, and smiled wryly.

"I heard you make a deal with about eight of the Gryffindor 3^rd Years," he said. Ginny choked on her drink, and covered her mouth, coughing and laughing at the same time.

"Yeah, I did. Who told you?"

"No one. I overheard them on my way back to the common room. You should hear the names they have! Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini, Eloise Midgen, Cho Chang, Hermione Granger, Padma Patil--they even have you! What are they brainstorming? The girls I've kissed?" he said. Ginny grinned evilly.

"Millicent, eh? I can imagine you two sneaking off to have a quick pash behind the dungeon doors..." she laughed. Harry hit her lightly on the arm.

"They have to find out who you rescued in your second year."

"Uh...doesn't everyone know it's you?"

"Well, evidently they don't, and personally, I think it's quite funny, seeing the names they've come up with!"

"Yeah, right. Well, you'd better tell them that they can't ask me. That's one of their ideas for finding out," he said over his shoulder as he got up to go. Ginny grabbed his arm.

"I didn't get you a Christmas present, and I feel guilty. What do you want?" she asked him. He grinned at her.

"Me? I've always been a fan of dragons myself..." he said. Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Oh, I don't know, Ginny. Make something up. I like surprises," he smiled. She rolled her eyes.

"I really hate you sometimes," she told him. He removed her hand from his arm, and grinned.

"Oh, really? Well, that's too bad, because I love you!" he said, winking at her, before departing from the library. She scowled at his receding back, and returned to her book. Within minutes, however, she was laughing again.

~*~

"What's the date today, Herm?" Ron asked, looking over at her. She quickly checked her little schedule book she always carried around with her.

"It's the 7^th."

"Thanks."

Hermione looked over at Ron quickly, and bit her lip. It was the 7^th. 7 days until Valentine's Day. 7 long days. He seemed to notice her anxious face, because he reached over and gripped her shoulder gently.

"Herm, you ok?" he asked. She nodded.

"I'm just worried about the test Snape said we'll be getting. What if he asks us to make a Revival Potion? It's a really difficult potion, and--"

Ron laughed, and held up his hand.

"Enough! It's all too complicated for me!" he chuckled. Hermione glared at him.

"Well, sorry if I'm the only one who takes my classes seriously!" she said crossly. Ron smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. It's just a bit funny. You're not a very good liar, you know that?" he said kindly. "And you can trust me, always, ok? You can trust me, Harry and Ginny. They wouldn't ever blab, and neither would I," he added softly. Hermione looked up sharply.

"Oh, Ron! You are so brilliant!" she said, throwing her arms around him, giving him a quick hug, and then racing up to the girls' dormitories. He looked after her, smiling fondly. He dipped his quill back into the pot of ink, and continued to work, Hermione on his mind.

~*~

Hermione found Ginny sitting on the end of her bed, consumed in a sketch she was drawing.

"Ginny?" she asked, sitting down next to her. Ginny looked up, and grinned.

"Oh, hi, Hermione," she said, putting her drawing things away. Hermione glanced at the sketch. It was a group drawing, with four figures. The two tallest figures--the ones in the middle--Hermione recognised as Harry and Ron, and she could only guess that one of the smaller figures was herself, and the last, Ginny.

"Could I talk to you?" she asked, looking back up at Ginny. The redheaded girl nodded.

"Sure."

"Good. You...know...I like your brother...right?"

"Yes, otherwise you wouldn't be friends."

"No, I mean, more than like, Ginny. Do you know that?" she said anxiously. Ginny nodded.

"Of course I do! He only ever talks about you!"

Hermione blushed with pleasure. This was a step in the right direction, at least.

"It's 7 days until Valentine's Day...what should I do?"

"Uh, kiss him? I know it sounds corny, but if I give you some mistletoe--don't crucify me!--it gives you a good enough reason to kiss him. I know you want to!" she said, adding the last part on in a seductive whisper and giggling. Hermione laughed, and pushed her over, then pretended dab her forehead delicately.

"I'm so sorry, my dear lady, but my affections are reserved for Sir Ronald!" she said, then burst out laughing. Ginny smiled, and rummaged around in her bag. Handing her the mistletoe, she shrugged.

"I'm sorry, but it's the best I could do," she said, smiling apologetically.

"No, this is perfect! Thank you so much!" she said, hugging Ginny quickly and then taking her leave.

~*~

Harry sat alone outside, the gold chain in his hands. He tapped it twice with his wand, and it glowed softly, before the light disappeared. He smiled. Another charm stored safely inside the weathered gold. Wracking his brain, he began to think of another charm that would be useful.

"Therma," he whispered after a while, pointing at the gold. It glowed even brighter this time, and he knew it would take possibly only two more charms.

"Lumos," he murmured. The chain shivered in his hands like a live thing. Laying it flat in his cupped hands, he put his wand aside.

"Protect her,

When her hope has fled,

Guide her,

When her light has faded,

Warm her,

When the cold reaches out,

But protect her,

When she has no hope."

The chain glowed, washing his face and hands in a brilliant gold light. The last charm done, he cleared his throat.

"Charm chain

Binding

Twisting, twining.

Links unbroken,

Charms come unlocked,

When charm chain touches

Sweet hand of Chosen."

The gold glowed one last time, before it began to melt into one strong loop of supple gold. He smiled, and put the loop in his pocket. It was small--barely a bracelet, but it would fit her, he knew it. Slowly he got up, and stretched.

It had been two days since Ginny had asked him what he wanted for a belated Christmas present, and no doubt she was right now pestering Hermione as to what she wanted; hardly anyone had gotten a present from her that year, as she had been studying hard to pass a Transfiguration Exam. He grinned to himself at the thought.

"Oi, Harry!"

He looked around. Ron was running towards him in long strides.

"Running fast enough?" he asked playfully, as the lanky boy stopped to catch his breath.

"I...just wanted...to...know your...opinion on my...idea of a Valentine's gift...for Hermione..." he gasped, sucking in air greedily.

"Go on, then. Spill it!"

"I was thinking about...a sort of picnic...on one of the balconies during the evening."

"Hey, cool. Am I invited?" Harry laughed. Ron pushed him over.

"Nice try, Harry. Oh, are you going to that stupid ball the new DaDA professor is arranging?"

"I don't dance."

"Oh, that's a pity. I'm planning on taking Hermione there--that is, if she'll have me."

"Are you kidding me? She only ever talks about you!" he grinned.

"Really?"

"Yes. Take her. She'll enjoy it."

Ron looked at him looking at him, and pulled a face.

"So, what are your plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Nothing," he said truthfully, shrugging his shoulders.

"What, you're not doing anything with Ginny?"

"Er...no, why?"

"Well...I could arrange something..."

"Whoa! What are you now, the matchmaker?"

"Well, do you like my sister or not?" Ron demanded.

"What if--hypothetically, of course--I did? I did like Ginny?" he asked, staring off into the distance.

"Well, then, hypothetically, I wouldn't mind unless, of course, you hypothetically hurt her and then, hypothetically, I would have to kill you," he replied. Harry winced, and grinned.

"Ouch. I think you'd be Voldemort's best friend if you did that," he chuckled. Ron winced at the Dark Lord's name, but Harry took no notice of his reaction. It was one he had seen many times.

"So, will you go with Gin?" he asked, putting pressure on his friend. Harry pulled a face at him. He grinned, and started to walk off.

"I hope you're walking off knowing that I don't dance!" Harry called after him. Ron just turned around and waved cheerily.

"Little bugger," he mumbled, before racing to catch up with him.

~*~

It was the next day, and Hermione was wandering around aimlessly. What could she do? Harry and Ron were outside--at least, she thought they were--Parvarti and Lavender were supposedly spying on them, and she couldn't find Ginny anywhere. She walked around the common room, when suddenly she stopped in her tracks. Duh! The Marauder's Map! She sped up the stairs, and burst into the boy's 7^th Year dorm. Seamus was sat on his bed, Parvarti and Lavender with him. Seamus looked up, and pulled a face at Hermione.

"This is a boy's dorm," he said playfully. She grinned, and poked her tongue out at him.

"So suddenly Parvarti and Lavender are boys?" she chuckled, and threw open Harry's trunk, which stood at the foot of his bed. She rummaged through books and cloaks before she came upon what she was looking for--a tattered shred of parchment. Putting it in her pocket, she closed the trunk, and took her leave. Once back in the common room, she activated it, and immediately the whole of Hogwarts appeared. She scanned the paper. Harry and Ron weren't outside, and Ginny wasn't in the library. She looked at it closer. Ginny was coming towards the common room, but she couldn't find Harry anywhere. Ron was also making his way to the common room. She looked at watched at Ginny climbed through the portrait hole, and as Ron followed her soon afterwards. Walking up to them, she took one last look at the parchment.

"Have any of you seen Harry?" she asked, still staring. Ron shrugged and shook his head.

"Why? What's wrong?" Ginny asked.

"No, nothing. I was just wondering where he was," she said casually, but Ron could see she was worried.

"Just because he wants some time alone doesn't mean You-Know-Who has snatched him," he said gently.

"I know, Ron!" she said, a little harsher than she had meant it. Ron backed off.

"Whoa. Sorry, then, miss. If you don't want to talk then you could have said so!" he said.

"Oh, shut up, will you? I'm allowed to get worried about one of my best friends!" she said, the colour rising in her cheeks.

"I already said sorry, but that's never enough for you, is it? Never!" he retorted, his temper getting the better of him. Storming off, he slammed the boy's dormitory door shut behind him.

"Oh dear..." Hermione said, rubbing her temple. Ginny could tell that she was upset, so gently she suggested that she go have a lie-down. Hermione nodded, and wandered up to the girl's dormitory. Ginny watched her, and then turned around, and walked out of the common room. She made her way down towards the main doors, and then walked outside. Following the path towards the Quidditch pitch, she climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor stands. It wasn't surprising to see two Quidditch teams practising together, each occupying one half of the field. Resting on the barrier, she smiled as she watched. One team--the one on the opposite side of the field--wore the proud scarlet of Gryffindor, while the other wore the blue of Ravenclaw. The Gryffindor team was on the ground. They were probably revising tactics. The Ravenclaw team was taking advantage of the extra airspace, and was using up the whole pitch. But, being the honest and good people that they were, they would immediately give way to the Gryffindor team, allowing them usage of the entire airspace for a while, and visa versa. She walked up and down the benches, singing to herself, bored, waiting for the Gryffindor team to start flying. She ran her hand along the barrier as she walked.

"If I could say what I want to say,

I'd say I wanna blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I want to see,

I wanna see you go down on one knee

Marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say."

"Hmm. Fancy meeting you here," a familiar voice said behind her. She spun around. Harry was sitting on the top bench, decked out in his Quidditch uniform, his broom next to him. He was watching her with beautiful green eyes. She grinned, and made her way up to him.

"Huh. I only came down here to--"

"I know, I know! To stare at me and drool!" he chuckled. Ginny pulled a face at him, and he laughed harder.

"No, I came down here because Ron and Hermione are having a fight--again."

"Lovers' fight. I advise you to stay out of them--they can get nasty," he said, shrugging.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"I suppose that's not the only reason you came?" he asked. Ginny knew he could see through her if he wanted.

"You're right, that's not the only reason. I like to watch you fly, because you make it look so easy. God knows I need lessons," she said. He grinned at her, and shrugged.

"It's not that hard. Then again, if you want a lesson, I can give you one," he said, still smiling.

"Ooo! Is that an invite for a date?" she said, teasing him. He hit her lightly on the arm.

"Well, it's only an invite if you're up for it."

"Since when wasn't I up for an invite of any kind?" she said in mock seriousness.

"I dunno. We'll have to figure that one out tomorrow, at, oh, say, six o'clock? Meet me out by the broom shed...if you dare..." he said, grinning evilly, and mounting his broom. Ginny flushed as she watched him fly off, and bit her lip. Six o'clock, then, eh, Mr. Potter? she thought, smiling absently to herself. You're on!