The Marauders: Year 2

"What have you done?" Remus asked in a worried whisper.

Sirius and James were both peering intently up at the staff table in the front of the Great Hall.

"Does this have anything to do with where you both snuck out to last night?" Remus demanded and then groaned. "Oh, it does, doesn't it?" He turned to Peter. "What did they do?"

Peter shrugged and turned to look up at the staff table.

Sirius nudged James, "Look, they're spreading it on the toast."

Remus groaned again and dropped his head into his hands, "The professors. You're torturing the professors. You've gone mad!"

"Look," Sirius said, unable to suppress his mirth, "Nackle and McGonagall, they're both spreading it on."

A look of horror crossed James face.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Dumbledore," he said, looking on helplessly as professor's all tucked in. A sudden pop and half of the staff table had turned into six very pink flamingoes, all but one squawking very loudly, the last quietly preening himself with a look that almost appeared amused, that is, if a flamingo can appear amused to begin with.

"You're dead," Remus hissed as Peter's jaw dropped at the sight.

Professors Vector and Sprout stared blankly for a moment at the flamingoes sitting in their midst. Professor Sprout blinked twice and then appeared to be biting back a large grin. Professor Vector, however, scowled at the flamingoes on either side of her (Nackle and the Muggle Studies professor, Jones). Professor Binns seemed to be completely oblivious to the chaos breaking out around him.

Slowly, the rest of the students in the Great Hall began to notice and laughter began to spread across all four tables.

A slow grin spread across James and Sirius's face as they took in the sight.

James turned to whisper to Remus, "Animagus primer number four apparently has several fun alternative uses."

"Oh Merlin," the brown haired boy groaned as he sunk his head back into his hands.

"Right then," James grabbed at his friends arm and hauled him up. "Time for Transfiguration."

"McGonagall's a flamingo, how are we supposed to learn transfiguration today?" Remus growled as he followed the other three boys out of the bedlam that was the Great Hall and towards the Transfiguration corridor.

"Remus," Peter observed quietly. "They're still... happy. I don't think it's done."

"Oh no, no, no," Remus muttered. "What is it?"

Peter just shrugged.

"It's too close to finals for you to wreck our classes," Remus pleaded with James and Sirius, both of whom just grinned condescendingly at him.

"He's going to be a right old wreck during O.W.L.s," James noted, inclining his head towards Remus.

"Don't even want to imagine N.E.W.Ts," Sirius added in a chipper tone.

The group sat down in their seats and waited patiently as the rest of the class straggled in, most still giggling over the incident in the Great Hall. Several moments later, Professor McGonagall strode in, still a violent shade of pink, but otherwise unharmed.

She glared at the four Gryffindor boys, three of whom put forward their best 'who me?' faces and one of whom moaned softly, dropping his head onto the desk, and then, without a single word, began to hand out the tests the class was due to take that day.

One by one as each quill touched each piece of parchment, the papers combusted and within seconds, flames could be seen shooting up all over the room. Three different desks caught fire before the madness ended and a Ravenclaw with particularly long hair was rushed off to Madame Pomfrey when it caught fire.

"Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin and Black, go to my office this instant and wait. Just sit. And wait," McGonagall said through clenched teeth.

The four boys quickly gathered up their things and headed to her office.

"That's it," Remus said to them out in the hallway. "I'm planning the next prank, since I had nothing to do with what happened today, but I will inevitably get detention for it. And from the look on McGonagall's face, we'll be in detention until after exams. Bloody hell James, don't you want to spend a June here not in detention?"

"It's not such a bad way to spend a June," said boy offered casually.

"How did you do that to the parchments?" Peter asked.

"Whatever makes you think it was us?" Sirius asked, grinning innocently.

"The key to surviving today, my friends, is deny, deny, deny," James quipped quietly, pushing open the door to McGonagall's office and settling himself in a seat across from her desk.

"Surviving today? What else have you done, James? Sirius?" Remus asked as he sat down next to his friend.

"Deny," James repeated.

"Deny," Sirius added.

"Deny?" Peter concluded, grinning at his other two friends who clapped him happily on the back.

"See, Remus. Peter's got it," Sirius proclaimed, settling himself into the last vacant chair. "And at least we got out of that bloody test."

"She probably failed all of us," Remus grumbled. "Lily will wind up with a higher Transfiguration grade than you, James."

"What?" the boy gasped, the possibility suddenly flooding his thoughts. "I'll never live it down." He shook his head. "No, if she can't prove it was us, she can't punish us, and the three of us blew up our papers like the rest and you are innocent, Remus. We'll be fine."

The Marauders sat there until the bell rang signaling the end of class.

"Great, now we're going to be late for Charms," Remus grumbled. "We're never going to pass our exams, really."

"You'd think all that extra studying you've been doing in the library with Melissa would've helped him, wouldn't you, James?" Sirius smirked cheekily at his friend.

"Provided they've been studying of course, I hear Watts never really was one for much studying..." James trailed off, a similar smirk appearing on his own face.

"I have been studying, thank you very much," a very red Remus retorted. "Not that any of you are very familiar with the term. I swear if I've seen you open a single book this past week, I'd eat my cloak. Obviously you gits have been preoccupied with other activities."

"What could he be suggesting, dear James?" Sirius implored of his bespectacled friend.

"Could he possibly think we'd make self-combusting parchment? Or flamingo powder? Why I never!" James looked appalled by the idea.

The boys were silenced as the door opened and Professor McGonagall strode into the room and sat down behind her desk.

"Do you boys have anything you wish to tell me?" She peered intently at them one by one.

"It wasn't me," Peter squeaked under her gaze.

"Very well, Mr. Pettigrew. If you are absolutely certain that it was not you, but that it was one of the other three young men here, you may leave," she proceeded, watching as the boy nodded, scrambled to pick up his satchel and exited quickly from the room.

"That little-" Sirius muttered under his breath, but was quickly silenced by a swift kick from James.

"And you, Mr. Black, were you involved? If you're certain that you weren't, but one of the others here was, you may leave."

Sirius made no move to get up. "So you mean to say that if I rat one of them out, I can go."

"Those were not my words Mr. Black, I merely mean to say that if one of these young men were the cause of today's disturbance and you weren't, then you are free to leave."

"But what if none of us were the cause of today's disturbance?"

"I am not inclined to believe that to be a plausible option, since Mr. Pettigrew has confirmed that one of you, at least, is guilty."

Sirius sat for a moment, thinking.

"Mr. Black."

"I'm not moving, Professor."

"Then you are the reason for today's events?"

"He never said that, Professor," James broke in. "I'm pretty sure he's only ascertaining that perhaps none of us are guilty."

Professor McGonagall sighed and rubbed her head. "Fine, boys. Whomever is guilty, please remain. If any of you were not involved, please leave. I trust that you'll do what's right."

She waited a moment until realizing that not one of three boys appeared to have any intention of moving.

She sighed again. "Detention. All week. All three of you. Report to Mr. Filch this evening after dinner. He'll sort you out. Go on now, you're late to your next class."

The boys quickly exited to the room and went out into the corridor where Peter was waiting for them.

"Thanks a bunch, Peter," Remus grumbled. "Now I've got to give up more study time spend my evenings this week polishing trophies or crushing snake fangs. And, once again, I didn't even do anything."

"Sorry... I panicked," Peter said quietly, staring down at his feet. "But I didn't do anything, and how did she prove it was you anyway?"

"Because when you left you were agreeing that someone in the room had done all that, you git," James said, smacking Peter lightly upside the head. "Not appreciated, mate, not appreciated at all."

"Oh Merlin," Sirius groaned. "Let's just forget about it and move on. Charms next, isn't it? And we're late. I bet we've already missed all the porcupines turning into bowling balls."

"I thought we were turning them into cushions today?" Remus asked.

Sirius smiled wickedly, "That's what Flitwick thought too."

~~*~~

"So explain to me once again, how did you make all those porcupines turn into bowling balls instead of cushions?" Remus asked, as the four boys made their way out of the Tower.

"We simply changed the bowling balls into porcupines last night. By starting like that, instead of with real porcupines, well... let's just say, you saw how it can change the outcome a bit," James grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I've got to admit it though, I was thoroughly impressed when Evans managed to make her bowling ball squishy," Sirius commented happily.

"Oh shut up, Sirius," James groaned.

"I was thoroughly impressed that no one figure out it was you lot who did that," Peter added.

"Well... here we are. See you later, Pete," Sirius said to his friend as the three boys knocked on Filch's door.

The door quickly swung open and Argus Filch stood leering down at them. "I thought there was only to be three of you."

"Yes sir, he's just-"

Peter cut James off, "No sir, there are four of us."

"Well then, Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew get down to the dungeons to aid professor Nackle," the two boys stood there for a moment and James let out a very quiet groan. "Oi, I meant now."

"Yes, sir," James mumbled and the two boys headed off in the direction of the dungeons.

"You lot, off to Hagrid's hut. He'll be supervising your detention tonight." With that Filch stepped back into his office and slammed the door.

"Well, that won't be too bad Remmy, Hagrid's a decent chap," Sirius said as they walked out onto the ground.

"Yeah, provided his latest acquisition doesn't eat us alive while we're down there."

"True, very true."

~~*~~

"I can't believe he took our wands," Peter whined after an hour of manually disemboweling newts. "I'm going to smell for a week, at least."

"What else is new?" James joked from where he was sitting elbows deep in a vat of newt guts that he was mashing. Without thought, he pulled one gloved hand out of the vat to push his glasses up his nose and let out a moan of disgust as he realized he'd left a trail of newt guts down the bridge of his glasses and onto his nose.

"I can't believe there's only a month left on school," Peter commented an hour later.

"I know. It seems so odd that we'll be Third Years."

"But we can go to Hogsmeade next year," Peter said, licking his lips as he thought of Honeydukes.

"You git, we can already go to Hogsmeade whenever we want," James said in a hushed tone with a glance back to Nackle's office.

Peter shrugged and grinned embarrassedly, "Right. I hope Remus is alright on his own all summer."

"He made it without us before..."

"I wish I could get the fourth primer spell down," Peter stared intently down at the newt as though if he could properly disembowel it, all his transfiguration problems would be over.

"I'll make sure you get it before summer holiday starts. It's not too difficult, I mean, if you tweak it a bit, it can be quite interesting."

Peter glared at him, "I'm well aware of that, seeing as how it's the reason I'm up to my elbows in dead newts."

"Actually, that would be me, mate," James chuckled and then looked down in disgust to the mashed entrails in the vat.

Peter shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"And, it's also your fault we're all in this mess tonight, if you'd just kept your mouth shut..."

"I'm sorry, really. You know me though, James, I just don't think when I'm in a panic and after that last prank, well, you know the note I got from mum. She was furious..."

"Some Gryffindor you are," James teased, but Peter's expression darkened.

"I know."

James looked over at his friend who was staring resolutely at the ground, ignoring the newt in front of his. "I was teasing, Peter. You might have screwed up earlier, but it took guts to come to detention with us, especially since you didn't have to."

The chubby boy offered him a weak grin.

"There just might be some Gryffindor in you yet, me lad," James said, imitating the voice of an old man, badly at that, and the two boys chuckled at they went back to work.

~~*~~

"Have I mentioned Black, how very much I hate you?"

"No, Remus, how much do you hate me today?"

"Words cannot adequately express it."

The two boys were standing in a paddock next to the forbidden forest wearily eyeing Hagrid's latest acquisition.

Remus sighed deeply and turned around to where the large man was looking over their shoulders adoringly at that... thing... in front of them.

"What is that, Mr. Hagrid?"

"Hagrid'll go jest fine, Master Lupin," the gamekeeper drawled. "Why tha's jest Spot and Pommygranite."

"Spot?" Sirius managed a choked whisper under his breath.

"Bet the purple one is Pomegranate," Remus replied in an equally low tone.

"Nah, Pommygranite's tha pink one, o'er there, see? Tha purple one 's tha babe. Dun have a name fer 'im yet," Hagrid scratched his head. "Think 's a 'im anyway. Might be a her."

"Er... what sort of species are Spot and Pomegranate?" Remus carefully turned back towards the creatures.

"Na quite sure now, am I? Met up wit a fella in Diagon Alley happened to be wanting ta get tha pair 'o them off 'is hands, well, I was more 'an willin to oblige. Din't know she was pregnant till tha lil one there just showed up, 'e did. Er, or she did. You know. Tha chap called 'em crintortoris's, 'e did," Hagrid beamed down adoringly on the creatures, one of which was running laps around the pen at an alarmingly fast speed, stopping only occasionally to jump into the air, bite into a low flying bird with a nice, loud crunch, and then resume it's running.

Both boys winced at the second crunch.

"So you want us to go in there, muck out their stalls, and feed them?" Sirius asked, carefully eyeing the pen as though he were debating whether or not darting off into the Forbidden Forest would be safer.

"A'yuh," Hagrid grinned. "Ye lot got off easy wit this detention, I'd reckon. I s'ppose I ought to warn ye a bit, tha green one's a might bit feisty. Well, get to it then."

Hagrid started off towards his hut as Remus and Sirius looked slightly fearfully at one another.

"Well, alright, all we've got to do is much out the stalls and feed three creatures that have long spiked tails, each spike appears to be dripping something, which is no doubt some sort of poison, as that's exactly the type of thing old Hagrid would find cute, they've got four sets of pinchers coming out of their backs and it would appear that their tongues are abnormally long since... sweet Merlin, look at that, Remus," Sirius pointed at the little purple creature.

During Sirius's rambling the little creature had shot it's tongue out across the paddock and wrapped it around a tree, then it had slowly recoiled it's tongue, hauling its body across the expanse leaving a thick trail of blue goo, when it got there, it let go of the tree only to reveal that it had left deep burn marks in the place where its tongue had been wrapped.

"Lovely, poisonous tongues, too," Remus commented dryly. "Well, let's get this over with. At least we get to keep our wands for this one."

"Yeah, well I'm sure Hagrid just wanted to be able to point out that we were 'perfectly safe and well armed' when the Wizengamot bring him up on charges for the deaths of two minors."

As he said this, Remus dove out of the way when the pink one, Pomegranate, shot out her tongue in a similar fashion to her child's and nearly wrapped itself around Remus.

"I think you've got a point Sirius. That little purple one is a monster."

"Awww," Sirius cooed at it. "Here ickle monster, monster. What do you think Hagrid would say if we named it?"

"Do not say 'here ickle monster, monster'. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if that bloody thing listened to you."

"I'm naming it. Its name is Monster," Sirius grinned proudly in the direction of the purple creature that was shooting out its tongue again and slowly sliding to a different area of the paddock.

"I'm sure Hagrid will just love that. Now come on you git, let's go muck out those stalls."