The Marauders: Year 1

The day had finally arrived. It was the middle of Easter Holidays and most of the school had gone home for the two week break. However, on this particular day, three young Gryffindors were sneaking out to a hidden passageway to turn into two young Slytherins. The previous day, Remus had stolen two sets of Slytherin uniforms from the house elves. Sirius was going to transform into Frederick Nott, who was frighteningly thin and tall, like a human bowtruckle. James, to the never ending amusement of Sirius and Remus, had wound up pinching a hair off of Dolores Umbridge, a particularly ugly and stupid Slytherin. The previous evening, Sirius and James had spent hours in the library looking up every kind of trouble making charm they could find, while Remus slipped up bit of Elongated Sleep potion into both Umbridge and Nott's pumpkin juice, causing them to sleep for longer than they usually would when they eventually went to sleep for the night.

Remus ladled two cupfuls of the potion into different mugs and then looked over at James and Sirius, who had changed into the Slytherin uniforms.

"How do girls stand this? These knee socks are ridiculous," James commented, causing Sirius and Remus to bust out laughing. The sight of James Potter in a skirt and knee socks was just too amusing.

"Oh shut it," he grumbled and reached for the mug. "Concentrate of Umbridge... should be yummy."

Sirius glanced at the mug, "I really have to drink his hair?" Remus and James glared at him.

"This was your idea, Seer," James complained.

"Why do they always seem so much better while they're in my head?" he asked, posing the question to no one in particular.

"Well, drink up boys," Remus said cheerfully. "And then ship out. Don't forget, their password is 'fluffywig'."

"He's so cheerful, what do you say we shove the entire cauldron, polyjuice and all, down his throat and see what happens?" Sirius said to James.

James just shrugged, "He's done his part... poisoned two Slytherins, nicked clothes from the house elves, spent his hours looking up charms for us..." Then James raised his glass. "Cheers, Nott."

"Same to you, Umbridge." The two boys chugged the potions until the painful process of transforming overtook them, causing them to drop and break the mugs. As the two boys fell to the floor, the evidence of the change became apparent. Sirius began to elongate, his dark hair turning light blonde. James on the other hand, grew wider, his dark hair elongating into a messy tangle of mousy brown. Less than a minute later, however, it was over and the two rose.

"Nice rack, Potter," Sirius laughed.

"Oi, let's go," James said, and the two left, walking in the direction of the Slytherin Common Room. A moment later they stood in front of a full set of armor and said 'fluffywig'. The armor moved aside and let them through an opening.

~~*~~

"Let's get to it then," Sirius said, after a quick glance around to see that no one was in the Common Room at such an early time. At just that moment, Bellatrix Black came strolling down the steps to what was apparently the girls dormitory.

"Fred," she said, her face lighting up. "I didn't expect to see you up so early." She strode across the room and gave him a big kiss. Sirius jumped back when she did. She gave him a puzzled look and then glanced over at James, now Dolores, with obvious distaste. "Umbridge," Bellatrix acknowledged, then she whined at Sirius, "Freddy, what are you doing down here with her?" She pouted and wrapped herself around his arm.

"What does it look like?" Sirius asked, not thinking quite clearly.

"Well it looks like your just coming in from a night spent out," Bellatrix said, putting her hands on her thin hips, her black hair falling into her face.

"So?" he inquired, still not getting the point.

James didn't know what to do, time was running out and as fascinating as it was to see the inside of the Slytherin Common Room, they'd come to do more than that, so he did the first thing he though of. He wrapped himself around Sirius's other arm, causing him to jump.

"It is exactly what it looks like," he said, trying to make his voice higher like Dolores's tended to be.

Bellatrix gasped and slapped Sirius.

"You bastard!" She then turned on her heel and stormed up to her room.

"What the bloody hell..." Sirius looked bewildered.

"I'll explain women to you later, Seer. Let's get this done," James pulled out his wand and began turning everything green and silver to red and gold. Sirius bewitched the doorknobs all round the room to recite things like 'Gryffindor is the best' and 'Better to roar like a lion than hiss like a snake' whenever someone tried to open the door. James enchanted all the books on the bookshelf to tell the story of Gryffindor and insult the story of Slytherin whenever opened. Before finishing they turned the couch into a massive stuffed lion and then headed for the door, just as they began to hear stirrings upstairs.

A few moments later, James and Sirius were running through the dungeons, listening to the indignant shrieks and yells coming from the direction of the Slytherin Common Room.

~~*~~

They burst into the passageway where Remus was waiting for them, laughing hysterically.

"So what did you get from Snape and Malfoy's room?" Remus asked excitedly.

"Didn't have time," Sirius said as he pulled himself off the floor, having changed back into his normal self. "That was the most painful thing I've ever done. You're lucky you've never had to change like that, Remus."

Remus offered him a wry grin, "I can imagine."

"Well if you can, then I'd assume you'd rather not," James huffed as he pulled back on his Gryffindor robes.

Suddenly Sirius grimaced. "What?" Remus inquired.

"My cousin kissed me," he wiped at his lips as James laughed.

"Apparently Bellatrix is going with Frederick Nott. What a match made in hell, eh?" he sat down next to Remus. "I've got to say, I am glad that's over. Fantastic prank, though, Seer. Maybe our best yet."

"Too bad Peter had to miss all this," Sirius said, sitting down next to James and Remus.

"He'll be here for the next one," James said confidently.

The group walked down to the Great Hall and sat down to their breakfasts. A few moments later, Melissa and Tessa walked over to where the boys were and sat down with them.

"Hey," Sirius said to them through a mouthful of toast, spraying Melissa with crumbs.

"Lovely, Sirius. Really, you have the etiquette of a dead mule," she said, wiping the crumbs off her robes.

"Where were you lot this morning?" Tessa asked.

"Sleeping, where else?" Remus told her, reaching for the teapot.

"Look," she said and pointed over at the Slytherin table. They were all glaring over at the Gryffindors, occasionally pulling into small huddles to talk privately. "Apparently someone..."

Melissa cut her off, "Or someones."

"Quite." Tessa agreed, "Or someones, broke into their Common Room and destroyed it. As I was walking in I overheard a Fifth Year complaining that every time she went into her dorm room, the doorknob would tell her 'Gryffindor rules and Slytherin drools'. Quite an accomplishment for whoever concocted this prank..." Then she just shrugged her shoulders a bit, grabbed a slice of toast and walked back over towards Lily, Alice, Rebecca and Frank.

Melissa hopped up to follow her and at the last moment leaned over to the boys and muttered quietly, "Especially if they're normally just a bunch of First Year wankers." Then she grinned widely and walked over to her other friends.

"If Melissa were a boy, she's make a perfect Marauder," James observed.

"Indeed," Sirius agreed grinning.

"Although if she knew, who's to say Nackle or McGonagall won't figure it out. Talk about detentions, we'll be polishing trophies until fourth year at least, Remus said as he spread some jam across his toast.

"You're overreacting Remmy. I don't think the detentions will go longer than the end of our second year," Sirius said brightly.

"Fantastic," he mumbled. "Bloody fantastic."

~~*~~

Two days later, Remus came tearing up the steps and into the boys dormitory. James and Sirius were sitting on the floor playing an interesting version of Wizarding chess. Each time one captured another's piece, not only did the piece get pummeled, but the winning piece's owner got to cast a hex on the loser. When Remus walked in he noticed James had a tail and was wearing a pink dress. Sirius had six fingers on each hand and his head seemed abnormal round. Just as James's castle attacked one of Sirius's bishops, James pulled out his wand and cast the jelly-legs curse, causing Sirius's legs to fold onto themselves.

"How useless, James. It's not like we're standing up," Sirius commented.

"We've been at this too long, I'm running out of creative hexes," James shot back.

"Look," Remus said, bounding over to them. "Peter turned his cat green!"

"So?" Sirius said, looking back at the chessboard. "His mother will give him hell for that, I bet."

"No, you don't get it, he turned his cat green. He's fine. Completely! He'll be back next week!"

James and Sirius both jumped up and the three danced around the room, whooping and hollering, in the process knocking over several stacks of books and the chess set.

The door opened slightly and Frank peered in. "Lunatics," he muttered. "Absolute lunatics." Then he walked out, apparently deciding that whatever he'd come for was not all that important.

The Marauders ran down the stairs and into the Common Room. "Peter's coming back on Monday," James declared to Lily and company, who were sitting in the corner.

"Really? That's great news," Alice said as she smiled widely. The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

"What're you lot up to?" Sirius asked, looking down at the cards sitting on the table.

Lily quickly reached over and snapped them up, "Absolutely none of your business, Sirius Black."

Sirius and James looked at one another with manic glints in their eyes. Remus just rolled his eyes and took several steps back from his friends.

James quickly jumped forward and pulled on Lily's long, red pigtails and Sirius took the chance to grab the deck of cards out of her hand.

Lily jumped up, "Ohhh, James Potter, you'd better run because if I catch you, Peter will be back just in time to go visit you at St. Mungo's!" She began chasing James around the room.

"Give me the cards, Sirius," Tessa said, holding out her hand.

"Sorry, luv," he replied and began to look through them, reading them out loud. "1. What was your most embarrassing moment?" He looked at the girls and then at the next card. "12. If you could marry anyone, right now, who would it be?" He looked at them again. "What is this?" he asked, thoroughly bewildered.

"None of your business, luv," Tessa said, sarcastically. "It's a girl game, now give it." A loud crash distracted them all as Lily, pummeling James, knocked them both over the couch and onto the floor. At that point, Alice and Melissa rushed over and hauled Lily off James, who was now sporting one heck of a shiner. Lily was struggling against Alice and Melissa, but had little chance of winning.

"Lemme go, Mel. Lemme go. He pulled my hair. I hate it when he pulls my hair," she shrieked. The two of them pulled Lily towards their dormitory stairs and a moment later she was out of sight. While he was distracted, Tessa took the moment to grab the cards out of Sirius's hand and make a beeline for the other girls.

"I was right all along," James groaned as he sat up and tentatively touched his eye. "She is completely and totally deranged." Sirius and Remus both chuckled and helped James to the couch he'd just fallen over.

"What's that?" Remus said, pointing to a few pieces of paper on the floor. He walked over, picked them up, and gasped.

"What, Remmy?" Sirius asked.

"It's their answers!"

"Huh?" James asked.

"We've got to get those cards," Sirius said. At that moment Frank and Rebecca climbed in through the portrait. "I've an idea." He strolled over to Rebecca.

"Hey, Rebecca," Sirius greeted her. "Your friends and I have just gotten into a bit of a tiff over this silly game they were playing.

"Veritaserum?" she said bitterly. "I hate that game."

"Yup, I believe that's the one. They said only girls can play it, but we'd like to take a crack at it. They got mad at us for no real reason, but I'm pretty sure they're done playing, can you pinch the cards for us, so we can see what this game is all about?"

"I don't see why you'd want to play. It's really a stupid game. Some of the questions are ridiculous, most of them really. And I thought guys would be far less likely to like sitting around chatting about who they're going to marry and how many kids they want," Rebecca said and then saw the determined look on Sirius's face. "Why do I suspect you have an ulterior motive, Sirius Black?"

Sirius put on his best innocent face, "We're really just bored and curious. Never a good combination with us, you know."

"Oi, do I ever. I've never had so many Slytherins glare at me in the hallway."

"Are you implying we had something to do with that?" Sirius asked.

"You lot? Never," she replied, the last word dripping with cynicism. At that moment she broke out into a grin, "I'll see what I can do about getting you the cards." Rebecca dug into her bag and handed a book to Frank, "Here, this is your, mum sent it to me." Then she headed for her dormitory.

"Nice shiner," Frank commented to James. "How'd you acquire that?"

"Lily."

"No way! Lily?" Frank burst into laughter and the three retold the tale of the great chase. By the time they finished, Rebecca had returned.

"Here you go," she handed over the cards to Sirius. "You're going to regret playing this." She turned around and headed right back to where she'd come from.

"Your sister's not half bad, Frank," Sirius said.

Frank glared at him, "I was under the impression you were attached to Tessa, Black. Stay away from my sister."

James and Remus laughed at that comment.

"I am, I am. Bloody girl, won't give in and admit she's got no idea what we're doing yet," Sirius muttered.

"Bloody boy, won't give in and admit he's got no idea what they're doing either," James said as Remus grabbed the deck of cards from Sirius before he attacked James.

"So," Remus interrupted. "This game, Veritaserum, anyone familiar with it?"

"The game from hell, according to Becca. She hates it," Frank commented. "I've always been curious about it, though."

Remus pulled the papers out of his cloak pocket and grinned. "We found the girl's answers. We just needed the cards to know what the heck they were the answers to."

Frank's eyes widened, "Bloody brilliant."

James shrugged and smiled, "We try. Well, four girls, four boys, shall we pass the papers out, one to a man? We'll take turn reading the questions."

Remus nodded and handed a paper to each one, face down, keeping the last one for himself. "I'll read the first question." He opened the pack and dumped the cards into his hand. "1. What was your most embarrassing moment?" Then he paused. "You know guys, the girls probably wouldn't want us reading these."

"Someday, Remmy, we will manage to kill that thing you call a conscience, for today however, just ignore it," Sirius commented, and then grabbed his paper. "Well, I've got Melissa. Oh well this isn't a real answer, says she's never had a most embarrassing moment." He grinned wickedly, "We'll have to fix that for her sometime."

James shook his head. "Let's see, Lily says 'When Lucius Malfoy called me a Mudblood in front of the entire Defense Against the Dark Arts class'. When did that bastard do that?" James asked, rather angry.

"The day after you shrunk your head in Potions," Frank said. "I remember that, I felt really bad for her."

"Mudblood is a low blow," Remus commented quietly. James continued to sit there seething.

"Well, Alice's is pretty amusing," Remus continued glancing down at his own paper. "Apparently she was attacked by pixies when she was nine, they picked her up and hung her upside down, exposing her knickers to her whole primary school." The four boys chuckled. "Frank?"

Frank looked down at his paper and laughed out loud, "Well, according to Tessa, her most embarrassing moment was snapping and kissing Sirius Black one night. 'Haven't figured out how to get rid of him since' she added after that." James, Remus and Frank started to laugh as Sirius glowered at them.

James took the cards from Remus. "2. What do you want to be when you grow up?" He wrinkled his nose. "That's not a very interesting one." He looked at his paper, "Lily has no idea."

"Neither does Alice," Remus put in.

"Nor Tessa," Frank countered.

"Melissa claims to want to spend her entire life developing the perfect parchment," Sirius chuckled. "I suspect a bit of sarcasm in that one." Sirius reached for the cards. "3. How many kids do you want to have?" He paused. "Who cares, let's look for a good one here. 4.... no. 5... uh huh. 6... hmm, ok. 6. If you had to feed one of the people playing this game to a hippogriff right now, who would it be and why?"

"Well that's a bit nasty," Frank commented. The others shrugged, curious as to how girls would react to the question.

Sirius picked up the paper, "Melissa says..." he took a second looking for the corresponding answer. "Ah, says herself because it's the easiest answer." He cocked his head to the side for a second, "That seems like a cheat answer."

"Well, Lily's got the same one," James replied.

"Ditto for Tessa."

"And Alice," Remus concluded.

Frank clucked his tongue, "Dull girls." He reached for the deck. "7. Who do you hate?" He looked at the other a bit surprised and then looked at his own paper frowning and then shook his head. "Sorry, a rare burst of chivalry wins on this one. I really don't think Tessa wants anyone to know this answer."

"Do you really think any of the girls want any of us knowing any of these answers?" Sirius asked.

Frank just shrugged. "I'm not telling and I'll eat the paper if you try to grab it and read it yourself."

Remus jumped in, "Well Alice hates Nackle. Her and every other Gryffindor, I'd think."

James read his paper and then glared at it, "Well then," he said in a huffy tone. "Lily apparently hates me." The others looked at him surprised. He just shrugged. "Sirius?"

"Melissa hates..." he glanced down at the paper again. "Bellatrix Black? Wow. I wasn't expecting that one. I'm thinking I don't even want to know why."

Remus took the deck back, "Hmm... 12. If you could marry anyone, right now, who would it be? According to Alice..." he stopped. "Oh." He looked a bit perplexed. "Sorry, in an attack of conscience, I'll have to pull a Frank. I'm not answering this one."

The other three grumbled, but Remus held firm.

"Fine. Fine," Frank grumbled. "Well Tessa," he scanned the paper and burst into laughter again. "Sirius, she'd marry Sirius right now. The girl must be more of a madcap than I'd previously given her credit for."

"Did she not claim to regret kissing me just a few questions ago?" Sirius asked, perplexed. The three other boys just shrugged.

"Girls," Frank commented and the other three nodded in agreement.

Sirius jumped in, "Melissa is apparently adamant about not getting married. Sorry chaps."

James looked down and then glanced over at Remus, "Well apparently Lily would like to be Lily Lupin."

"What?" Remus asked, visibly startled.

"I guess all those, we're just friends lines were only coming from your side, eh Remmy?" Sirius joked.

Remus looked rather uncomfortable. Then he rolled his eyes and muttered, "Girls" with a pained expression on his face. "Alright then, he announced. Enough of this game." He grabbed the other three sheets of parchment before the boys could stop him and held out his wand "Inscendio" he said and the parchments burst into flame, leaving only a heap of ashes in front of them.

The other three boys let out yells of anger for spoiling their fun. Remus looked right at James and Sirius, "Hanging out with you gits may be beginning to destroy my conscience, but hopefully, I'm wearing off on you two, too. That was wrong. We shouldn't have been reading them and we'd flip out if they ever invaded our privacy like that." He grabbed the deck of cards and walked to the bottom of the girls dormitory. "Rebecca!" he yelled up the steps. A moment later she came running down, he thrust the cards into her hand. "Thanks, but I can see exactly what you mean about this game."

Rebecca just raised her eyebrow and then patted his shoulder, walking back up the stairs.