Harry Potter and the Power of Emotion

Chapter Twenty-three

Memories

After dinner that first night back at Grimmauld Place, Remus, Molly, Ron, Ginny and Harry retired to Remus's room. Remus had the Pensieve set up in the centre of his sitting area by the fireplace. Harry told Ron and Ginny before dinner what he and Remus were planning to do and why. He asked them if they'd come view the memories with him. Both had agreed and Ginny had seemed oddly touched that he had included her. Harry wished Hermione had been able to be there too, but was sure that Ron would fill her in.

Harry sat on the couch with Ginny and Mrs. Weasley on either side of him. Ron took one of the chairs while Remus prepared the Pensieve. Harry suddenly felt extremely nervous, both about seeing the memories himself and about letting the others watch them. What if his father behaved badly, as he had in Snape's memory? What if there was more evidence that his parents hated each other? Maybe it would be better to never know. What if there was yet another secret buried in that stone basin? He really didn't think he could handle any more.

What was he thinking asking Remus to do this and why did he ask everyone to witness it with him? This was a bad idea; he should have looked in the Pensieve first before allowing anyone else to see.

Ginny must have sensed his anxiety for she reached over and placed her hand within his, squeezing his fingers tightly. When he looked over at her she mouthed, "It'll be okay." Harry took a deep breath and sank back into the couch. It would be okay.

"Okay," Remus said, raising his wand. "Since there are several of us, I'm going to have the memories appear above the Pensieve rather than have all of us try to enter." Touching his wand to the silvery liquid, he let the memories begin. A cloudy mist hovered above the basin before forming a fuzzy image that gradually clarified itself.

It was almost like watching a movie--with 3-D images so real it was as if the people were standing right there in the room. It was amazing, really, and Harry found he was fascinated despite his apprehension.

He recognized a dorm room at Hogwarts which held four beds. The sign on the door said, 'First Year Boys.' Four young boys entered the room; two were silent and looking quietly around and seemed overwhelmed by their surroundings. The other two were joking amicably about the feast they'd just enjoyed in the Great Hall. They ploughed into the room past the more reticent first two.

An unmistakable young Sirius strode over to the bed against the window and plopped down upon it. "Lucky me, I call this one!" His hair was longish and he had an air about him of someone who was used to getting his own way.

James sat down next on the bed next to Sirius. "I'm James Potter, and this is Sirius Black," he introduced himself to the other two in the room. Harry felt the breath catch in his throat as he gazed at the image of his father looking younger than Harry was now. They really did look like one another. It felt strange to look at his father as a child.

"Remus Lupin," the young Remus said softly, putting his things on the bed across from James. Remus looked very different and Harry wasn't sure that he would have been able to pick him out of a crowd. Harry's back stiffened as his attention was turned to the remaining boy in the room.

"Peter Pettigrew," the small, wiry boy said. "You two know each other then?"

"Nah," answered Sirius, tossing a Quaffle up and down. "We just happened to sit together on the train. We pulled a joke on some girls in the next car, and I knew we'd be sorted together. I can't believe I got sorted into Gryffindor; my family is going to have a fit!"

"Why is that?" asked the young Remus in a familiar mild tone.

"Because my family has always been in Slytherin, as far back as I can remember. Wish I could see my mother's face when she hears!"

"I'm sure she'll be proud of you no matter what House you're in," answered James bracingly.

Sirius just snorted. "You obviously don't know my family."

The scene faded away and was replaced by another. They were watching a Quidditch match, Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff and Harry felt his pulse quicken. He was going to see his dad playing Quidditch! He leaned forward on the couch to try and pick him out of the players and missed the smiles that played on both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley's faces at his eager curiosity.

"Cool, Quidditch, Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "Your dad played, right?"

"Yeah, he was a Chaser."

"And Sirius was a Beater," Remus clarified. "This is our sixth year."

Remus and Wormtail were sitting in the Gryffindor stands, watching the game. A young girl with brown hair sat hand in hand with Remus.

"That's Diana Trent," he said as he pointed her out, "before she dumped me." Harry had trouble equating the slight girl in the image to their current Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. He supposed it was due to the difference in age.

"She dumped you?" Ginny asked him curiously.

Remus smiled; he seemed more amused by the memory than pained by it. "She hated Sirius and wasn't all that fond of the rest of the Marauders either. If you dated one of us, well...you kind of got all of us. The girls we dated always had to put up with a lot."

Harry studied the young Marauders in the Pensieve closely. All of them looked much more recognizable now as the way Harry knew them. He could see Sirius flying recklessly and smiled sadly. His hair was still longish but he had a relaxed, carefree manner about him that Harry found hard to reconcile with the man he'd known. This was before Azkaban, he reminded himself. He watched as Sirius hit the Bludgers towards the opposing team with unerring accuracy. Maybe it was just the fact that he was a Beater, but Harry was reminded of the twins. Sirius could have really helped them with their joke shop if he'd had the chance...

He felt a lump rise in his throat and forced his attention away from his sad thoughts. Young James had the Quaffle and was racing towards the hoops with two of the Hufflepuff Chasers right on his tail. James swooped and dove trying to lose them, never taking his eye off the goal. One of the other players reached out to snatch the Quaffle and James rose in the air in a near vertical climb. He raced for the hoop and scored.

Both Ron and Ginny let out cheers as if it was a real game and Harry had to smile. His father really was very good. They watched the game for several minutes more. Harry tried vainly to ignore the presence of young Wormtail cheering when his father would score.

"Sorry, Harry. I tried to choose memories where he wasn't involved much, but he was always there with the rest of us." Remus sounded so sad and far away that Harry had to force his eyes from the images in front of him to get a good look at his former teacher. Wormtail had betrayed Remus too that night, and it was obviously still painful for him.

"It's all right, Moony. Thank you for doing this."

"It's my pleasure, Harry."

The Quidditch match faded and the next memory appeared. They were back in Gryffindor Tower. James was examining himself in the mirror, trying to get his impossibly unkempt hair to lie flat.

"Doesn't this look familiar?" Ron commented dryly and the others laughed.

"For pity's sake, James, give it up!" Sirius yelled from across the room. "It's never going to lie down flat; get over it! Blimey, you're Head Boy; it's a disgrace that you're this nervous about a date."

"It's not 'just a date', Sirius. It's the start of the rest of my life," James replied calmly. Both Sirius and Peter made retching noises as James grinned.

"I don't know why she agreed to go with you; she's done a damn good job of ignoring you up until now," Remus replied calmly.

"She's seen the error of her ways and now finds me irresistible."

All three of the other boys rolled their eyes. "And so humble," Sirius added.

"Look," James rounded on them, suddenly serious. "This is important to me, okay? Lay off. She's important to me."

Sirius looked like he was about to comment when Remus cut him off. "Okay, James. You look fine, and she did agree to go with you."

The four walked downstairs into the Common Room. It looked much the same as it did now, which seemed strange to Harry. He watched as his mother made her way down the stairs from the girl's dormitory and looked over at the Marauders. She wore her hair down and pulled off her face with a headband, making her brilliant green eyes clearly visible.

"I agreed to go out with you, James, not your entourage," she said with amusement.

"Right. I mean, I know. I mean...they're not coming with us." All of James's former bravado was gone, replaced by blatant panic. Harry noticed both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley smiling at the image of James, obviously finding his nervousness endearing. What Harry didn't realize was that it reminded both of them of Harry.

He was mesmerized by the image of his mother. Her eyes, so like the ones he saw staring back at him from the mirror every day, were alight with joy and playfulness. She showed none of the anger towards James that he had witnessed before in Snape's Pensieve, but instead appeared to be rather amused by him. She had a soft voice and a sweet face, but Harry could sense that she was a force to be reckoned with. She seemed to keep all four of the incorrigible Marauders in line with barely any effort.

Harry was pleased to observe that not only was James stealing glances at Lily whenever her head was turned, but that she was doing the same towards him, albeit more discreetly. It was obvious even to Harry, who freely admitted being clueless about such things, that there was a definite attraction between the two. They obviously fancied one another and he was relieved.

The young couple climbed out the Portrait Hole hand in hand, ignoring the whistles and catcalls from the remaining Marauders. "We've lost him," Sirius sighed after they left.

"What do you mean?" asked Peter, sounding alarmed. This caused Harry to dig his nails into the palms of his hands. Ginny rubbed her hand on his back soothingly and he felt the tension abate.

"We haven't lost him," Remus said in that same even tone. "We're just going to have to start letting girls into the club."

Sirius grinned wolfishly. "Pity that."

That scene faded and another one formed. This was obviously a wedding. He could see his parents in their wedding clothes dancing with each other. They looked lost in each other's eyes. He saw his father mouth the words, "I love you," and his mother returned the sentiment. It was obvious how happy they were and Harry smiled. Looking around the dance floor, he could pick out Sirius standing by the bar chatting up one of his mother's bridesmaids. Harry didn't know who she was but chuckled at his godfather's macho swaggering. Remus was dancing with someone that Harry didn't recognize and looked far happier than Harry could ever remember seeing him.

His gaze kept being drawn back to his parents. They both danced well and seemed to be a part of each other as they moved as one across the floor. As they danced, they didn't seem to be aware of anyone else in the room, only focusing on each other. Harry imagined that if she had lived, his mother would have been the one to teach him how to dance.

He did a double take as his gaze fell on a blonde woman with a long neck in a bridesmaid dress, an oh-too-familiar scowl on her pinched looking face. "Aunt Petunia!" Harry exclaimed. "She went to their wedding?" Harry asked Remus.

Remus frowned as he watched the images. "Yes, she was there." His eyes darted around to the people that were gathered on the dance floor. Petunia was standing with an older couple who beamed with pride at Lily and James.

"Are they my grandparents?" Harry asked in wonder. He'd never so much as seen a picture of them. If Aunt Petunia had had any, she never put them out where Harry could see them and he had been forbidden to ever ask any questions about anything to do with his past. The man had greying hair that had obviously once been blonde. His eyes were blue and kindly. He looked the part of what Harry had pictured a grandfather to be. The woman looked like anything but a grandmother. Tall and stately, she had a regal look and a kind expression. She looked a lot like Aunt Petunia, only less bitter and with auburn coloured hair.

Harry watched with fascination and looked to Remus for confirmation. "Yes, those were Lily's parents."

Remus looked very uncomfortable but Harry hadn't noticed. "Were my other grandparents there, too?" Of course they had been; it was their son's wedding after all. "Where are they? I want to see what they looked like."

Harry grew excited but the image faded and he turned to Remus in alarm. "Wait!"

"That's all of the memory I put in, Harry. I'll add some memories of them at another time. They weren't there that day."

"Wh--," Harry was about to ask why but stopped himself. If they weren't at the wedding of their son, that probably meant they were already dead. He didn't want to know about that right now. He wanted more good memories.

Another scene formed in the air. This took place in the cottage Harry now recognized as his home in Godric's Hollow. He couldn't help that his body stiffened at the sight of it, as visions of Snape's memory flashed in his mind. Ginny once again rubbed her hand on Harry's back and Mrs. Weasley took his hand. He allowed himself to relax slightly, but kept a wary eye on the images.

The four Marauders were outside on a patio huddled over what looked like a Muggle grill.

"And Muggles eat what they cook on it?" Sirius asked with incredulity.

"Lily's parents used it and the food was always good," James answered. The Marauders continued to bicker over the use of the grill and must have been amusing because he could hear Ron laughing out loud, but Harry's attention was focused once again on his mother. She was set back from the image, obviously not the focus of Remus's attention but still there.

She was sitting on a rocking chair inside holding a small bundle in her arms. If Harry looked closely, he could see a shock of unruly black hair and could tell it was a baby. That's me! That's my mother holding me. He concentrated intently to tune out the sounds of the other's voices so he could listen to only her. She was singing softly. My mother is singing me a lullaby.

The tune was hauntingly familiar and Harry felt a gigantic lump form in his throat. He'd often overheard Aunt Petunia singing to Dudley when he was small and had wondered if his mother had ever done that for him. It was as if a piece of something that had always been missing suddenly clicked into place. Without thinking what he was doing, Harry reached out a hand to try and touch her, but his hand just pushed through nothing but air. It was as if she was a ghost.

He shut his stinging eyes tightly and fought against the welling tide. Remus had been watching him and noticed that he was struggling. He ended the spell so the vision returned to a mist and settled back into the Pensieve.

"Hey!" Ron shouted, obviously enjoying the scene he was watching with the Marauders. Mrs. Weasley scowled at him and Ron shut up after taking in the look on Harry's face.

"I think that's enough for tonight. It's late; why don't we all head to bed," Remus said, stretching. "I need to check on something downstairs, then I'm going to turn in myself.

Remus followed Ron and Mrs. Weasley from the room but Ginny stayed behind with Harry, still rubbing his back.

"All right, Harry?" she asked quietly.

Still not trusting his voice, he merely nodded as she pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder. "Thank you for sharing that with me. It was nice to see your parents so happy together."

Harry shut his eyes; his parents were happy in those memories. His mother seemed very much in love with his dad and there was nothing forced about the relationship he could see. His parents knew about the Prophecy, but they hadn't stopped living. They went ahead with their lives and, from what he could see, their time together was happy.

He sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Ginny. It was amazing to him how just her presence could calm him. Earlier that day, when he'd been talking with Remus, he'd considered giving Ginny up to protect her from harm, but now he realized that he couldn't; he had come to need her as much as he needed Ron and Hermione. He was stronger and more focused with them than he would be on his own. He'd just have to find a way to protect them all.

"Remus will be back in a minute, we should head to our own rooms," she said and the warmth of her breath on his neck sent shivers up his spine.

"Umm hmm," Harry breathed, leaning over and catching her lips with his own. They leaned back together on the couch until they were sprawled out side by side. As he kissed her, he was startled when he felt her tongue dart out, seeking entrance. This hadn't happened during his kiss with Cho, but Ginny seemed to know what she was doing. He opened his mouth hesitantly and was pleasantly overcome with the sensations washing over him; he'd never known kissing could be like this. No wonder Ron and Hermione wanted to do it all the time.

Ginny began to run her fingers through his hair and moaned slightly as Harry met her tongue with his own. He was lost in her now, the Pensieve, the memories, everything else forgotten. All that mattered was this slip of a girl in his arms and that she would never stop what she was doing at that moment.

The clearing of a throat brought both teenagers crashing back to earth with a start. Remus was standing over them trying to suppress his grin. "I think it's time the two of you said goodnight."

Both Harry and Ginny coloured deeply and nearly bolted from the room. Harry could hear Remus chuckling as they went. They stopped outside the door to Ginny's room and Harry leaned in again, spreading kisses down the side of her neck. "See you tomorrow, Gin," he breathed.

"'Night, Harry," she sighed, although neither moved from the spot they were standing.

"Good night, Harry and Ginny," Mrs. Weasley's sharp voice was heard, sending them both quickly into their own rooms for the night.