Harry Potter and the Power of Emotion

Chapter Ten

Homeward Bound

Three days after the attack on Diagon Alley, it was time to return to Hogwarts. The attack had left the Wizarding world in a full panic and the Ministry had its hands full trying to instill some calm and reassurance. Many Wizarding families were fleeing Britain in an effort to get away from the coming war. There was a heavy presence of Aurors now at Gringott’s but another attempt on the bank had not been made. The Death Eaters had Disapparated quickly after Harry’s escape. His appearance in Diagon Alley had completely sidetracked the original plan and Harry had never been so happy to be in the wrong place at the right time.

The Order held a small memorial service for Hestia and Harry found he couldn’t look her family in the eye. He had insisted on getting out of Grimmauld Place for awhile and she had paid the price with her life. The guilt threatened to overwhelm him and send him spiraling back into the well of depression he’d been struggling with at the Dursleys’. Fortunately, this time his friends gathered around, offering support and not letting him slip into despair.

Mrs. Weasley had insisted Harry remain on the couch while recuperating and he had allowed her to fuss with little complaint. He’d even grown to enjoy the way she had constantly fetched him drinks or blankets, or adjusted his pillows. Better yet was when she made Ron do it! Harry found this very funny and delighted in Ron’s grumbling over it. Ginny had taken to slapping him on the arm and calling him a prat for "milking it," as she put it. Harry found he enjoyed the teasing, too, so he kept it up. Both Ron and Ginny realized this was the first time Harry had ever really been taken care of within a family or had been fussed over when sick so they played up their roles quite well. His eye was still black and blue, which had taken on a sickly green and yellow tinge around the edges as it healed. Otherwise, he was feeling healthy and ready to begin his sixth year. He sincerely hoped this year would be better than the last.

Despite the fact Mrs. Weasley had woken them with plenty of time to spare, they were still rushing that morning and Harry was secretly glad. It wouldn’t be a normal trip to Hogwarts without the chaos of the Weasley family when they were behind schedule. Ron had, of course, left his packing for the last minute and Hermione was scolding him for it. Ron kept running around muttering, "Mental, that one," under his breath. Fred and George wanted to see them off but Mrs. Weasley thought it was a bad idea to have the two of them accompany Ron and Harry, afraid that they would face too great a temptation for mischief. Instead, Hermione and Ginny went with the twins on the Underground, while Mrs. Weasley, Remus, and Mad Eye Moody escorted Harry and Ron to the train station using a Muggle taxi.

They made it to King’s Cross Station with about 10 minutes to spare. Dumbledore had arranged for most of the Order to be on hand at the train station and there was also a large team of Aurors on duty to ensure the train got off smoothly. Harry noticed there seemed to be a smaller number of students and wondered if some student’s families were keeping their children away this year. Harry went through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4 with Remus, who pulled him aside before he boarded. He had fixed the broken pieces of Harry’s mirror with a Reparo spell and recast the charm to make it work. He told Harry he’d keep the other one with him and Harry could contact him if he needed anything.

"Take care of yourself, Harry, and try to have some fun this year. What’s coming will come, whether or not you’ve pulled a prank or two," Remus smiled. "Make the Marauders proud."

"Moony, are you actually encouraging me to break the rules?"

"Like you weren’t going to anyway? I knew your father, Harry, remember? I know exactly the kinds of things you get up to."

"Fair enough. Thanks for everything, Moony."

Remus wrapped him a tight bear hug. "You might be seeing me sooner than you think," he said mysteriously. "Stay alert and keep in touch."

Fred and George had managed to quietly corner both Harry and Ginny. "Remember our legacy," Fred said.

"It’s down to you two to do us proud, and use lots of our products in doing so," George added, dumping a stack of magazines in Ginny’s arms. "Here are some of our catalogs. Leave them around the Common Room and try to get friends from other houses to leave them in theirs."

"We’re counting on you! Don’t let Ron catch you, he’d probably have to take points!"

"Ruddy Prefect."

Ginny just shook her head and walked away. Harry waved his good-bye and followed her.

Mrs. Weasley hugged them all and kissed each good-bye as they boarded the train. As she pulled Harry into a tight embrace she whispered, "Take care of yourself, Harry, and stay safe. You make sure you get enough to eat. You’re looking much healthier these days and I don’t want to see that spoiled when you come home at Christmas." Harry hugged her back and promised to do his best as he boarded the train with the others. Ron and Hermione had to ride in the Prefect car for the beginning of the journey, but promised to join them as soon as they could. Harry and Ginny found an empty car relatively easily and stowed their trunks inside. As the whistle blew and the train departed, Harry stared out the window at the platform. He couldn’t help but be reminded of last year when Snuffles had chased the train as far as he could. A wave of melancholy washed over him and he shut his eyes tight, resting his forehead on the glass of the window. He’d give anything to see that wagging tail and lolling tongue now…

Ginny was watching him and noticed the sad expression that crossed his face. She, too, remembered how Sirius had refused to follow orders and joined them here last year. She reached over and touched Harry’s hand; he caught her eyes and gave a weary smile.

"I wonder where Neville and Luna are?" Ginny said, trying to force his mind away from his Godfather.

"Dunno, they’ll probably be in at some point."

"I wonder who the new DADA professor will be?"

"Oh, Dumbledore told me. Diana something. She’s been living in the States. He said Remus knows her but I forgot to ask him about her."

"Hem Hem, she’s got to be better than Umbridge."

Harry and Ginny chatted easily for a few minutes before the compartment door slid open. Harry looked up and was surprised to see Cho Chang smiling tentatively at him. Her long, dark hair was pulled back and, although he still thought she was very pretty, he realized his feelings for her had completely evaporated. Harry wasn’t sure what she wanted with him, but he knew he didn’t want to be alone with her. When Ginny went to rise and give them some privacy, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. "Don’t go," he mouthed silently. Ginny frowned at him but stayed put.

"Hullo, Harry," began Cho.

"Hi, Cho, how are you?"

"I’m okay, I suppose. I heard about what happened to you in Diagon Alley. Is that where you got that?" She indicated his black eye. The Daily Prophet had reported the attempted kidnapping and Harry’s escape in glorifying detail, in an attempt to divert attention from what the Death Eaters were really after.

"Yeah, I’m fine. You remember Ginny Weasley, right?"

"Yes, hello, Ginny," she said rather coolly.

"Cho," Ginny answered in an equally frigid tone.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment, Harry?"

"Sure, go ahead," Harry purposely misunderstood her. Ginny looked up tilting her head and smiled sweetly.

"Alone."

"Oh. Well, Ginny and I were in the middle of a conversation. I’ll get back to you, okay?" Harry said very quickly.

Being put off was not something Cho was used to and she was visibly annoyed by it. "Fine," she snapped. "I’ll see you later."

"Bye, Cho," called Ginny merrily as the other girl stormed out of the compartment.

"You…Were…Brilliant." Harry smiled.

"What was all that about, Harry?"

"I dunno. Just the idea of being alone with her was not something I wanted to deal with right now. Thanks for staying."

"No problem, I rather enjoyed it. I never much cared for her; she’s too much the drama queen. She’s also dating my ex-boyfriend."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that."

"Are you still interested in her, Harry?"

"NO! No, not at all. Whatever it was between us was a disaster before it even started."

Ginny smiled, annoyed at herself again for being pleased with his answer. His eyes still had the power to melt her heart and she couldn’t help but be thrilled to hear him say he felt nothing for Cho Chang. He’s just your friend Ginny…Yeah right! If she really had to admit it to herself, Ginny knew her crush was back in all of its embarrassing glory. She couldn’t seem to help herself. There was something about the fact that Harry was hurting, and that he was vulnerable that made him all the more appealing to her. She wanted to be there for him; she wanted to help him. She knew she helped him with his nightmares and was glad of it. She had no intention of letting that slip away now that they would be back at Hogwarts. She just hadn’t figured out how she’d see to it.

That day in Diagon Alley was like a nightmare for Ginny. Watching Harry suffer in agony under the Cruciatus brought back all kinds of unpleasant memories from her first year. Tom had wanted to hurt Harry, and Ginny had unwittingly helped him. Harry saved her life anyway, and she was determined that somehow, some way, she would repay him for it. It was more than a Wizard Debt though, much more. She didn’t just want Harry to survive, she wanted him to live! She wanted to see him happy.

Harry was having his own internal dialog, wondering if Ginny still had feelings for Michael Corner. She certainly seemed to harbor some hostility towards Cho. It certainly couldn’t be over him, so maybe she still did feel something for Corner. Harry suddenly found himself disliking Michael Corner a great deal. Both were startled out of their reveries as the compartment door slid open and both Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood entered, holding hands, no less!

"Hi, guys!" Neville said cheerfully sitting down in the seat next to Ginny. Luna sat on his other side, "Hello, Ginny. Hello, Harry."

"Hi," Harry and Ginny both chorused. "What’s new with you?" Ginny asked nodding her head toward their linked hands.

Neville blushed but Luna answered calmly, "We worked together on a project at the Ministry Horticultural Society. We’ve been dating ever since."

"Oh how wonderful. I’m so pleased for you," Ginny gushed sincerely.

"Yeah, that’s great news," offered Harry with a puzzled expression. He had trouble getting his mind around the idea of Neville with Luna. Ginny elbowed him in the ribs and mouthed, "Harry, you prat."

Harry didn’t have time to answer as once again the door slid open and this time it was Ron and Hermione who came in. "What a joke!" Ron exclaimed, throwing himself onto the empty seat next to Harry. "I’m so glad that’s over!"

Hermione sat down next to him. "You barely paid attention as it was, Ron. Honestly, you should take your Prefect duties more seriously."

"Who are the new Head Boy and Head Girl?" Ginny asked, trying to divert an argument.

"Head Boy is David Garrett from Hufflepuff," Hermione answered.

"And Head Girl is our own Katie Bell!" Ron added.

"Is she really? Good for her!" Harry exclaimed.

*******

The lunch trolley arrived and Harry bought Cauldron cakes, Pumpkin Pasties and a boatload of sweets for all. As they ate, several members of the D.A. stopped by and poked their heads in. All were very pleased to hear the D.A. would be continuing and promised to pledge their support. Several members had finished at Hogwarts last year and Harry began thinking about posting a sign up sheet for new people. If the new Defense teacher was any good, however, he doubted there would be much new interest.

As they were cleaning up the remains of their lunch, the compartment door slid open and outside stood Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. What trip to Hogwarts would be complete without a visit from them? Harry thought irritably. Taking a good look at the Slytherins, Harry noted that Malfoy was looking amazingly smug, even more so than normal. His steel gray eyes showed a hint of malice, and something hard and bitter that Harry had never seen there before. His blonde hair, always so perfect, seemed ruffled and out of place; even the air around him seemed electrically charged.

"Potter," he drawled. "Hope you’re enjoying the trip, it’ll most likely be your last."

"Why is that, Malfoy? Think I’m so brilliant they’ll let me take my N.E.W.T.s early?"

Malfoy flushed slightly and Harry thought, Now there’s the Malfoy I know. "Things are changing, Potter, it’s in the air. There’s a feeling of, say, a break out happening. Your days are numbered."

"Sod off, Malfoy," Ron barked. "Why is it you feel the need to barge in here every trip? Get too lonely over the summer without us?"

Malfoy’s gaze flicked over Ron, then Hermione and finally the others in the compartment, "You’ve chosen the losing side, all of you. Of course, the Mudblood here is the losing side."

Ron lunged at Malfoy but Hermione held him back. "Just ignore him, Ron! He’s trying to get you riled."

"Get out, Malfoy!" Ginny spat as Neville closed the door behind them. Harry’s mind was racing. Malfoy’s comment about a break out made Harry immediately think of Azkaban. Was he insinuating his father had escaped? He caught Hermione’s eyes, she thought so too. Harry took a deep breath, nothing to do about it but wait and see. It was going to happen sooner or later anyway.

"Harry," Hermione said, "you need to stay away from him this year. There was something different about him…harder."

"Yeah, I noticed it, too. He’s still just a git though, and I’ve got bigger fish to worry about than Draco Malfoy." They were all silent at that.

Ron and Harry began a game of chess. Harry knew he would lose, he always did, but he enjoyed playing and it was a way to pass the time. The next time the door opened, Harry, Ron, and Neville’s other two roommates, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, entered. This time it was Ginny who grabbed Harry’s arm and mouthed, "Don’t leave!" Harry figured he would return the favor. Dean was very cold to Ginny, not even acknowledging her presence as he spoke to the others. Harry found himself feeling unusually protective of Ginny and wished Dean would just hurry up and leave. The tension was obvious and the air was very uncomfortable; they were all relieved when the two boys moved along.

Harry ran into Cho again when he made a trip to the bathroom. Resigning himself to talking to her, he pretended casualness and said, "Hi, Cho. What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings from last year…you know, the way things ended between us and all. I really hope we can still be friends."

Harry didn’t know why, but for some reason he doubted the sincerity of her words. After all, they had never really even been friends. Nonetheless, he responded, "Of course we’re friends. No hard feelings."

Cho seemed to be waiting for something more. "I mean, I’m seeing Michael now, and you’re seeing Ginny…so things could be uncomfortable."

For an instant Harry was about to correct her, but stopped himself and just said, "No. Nothing uncomfortable. I’m glad you’re happy, Cho. I’ll see you around." With that, he headed back to his compartment and didn’t see the vicious glare Cho gave to his retreating back. Before he had even made it back to his seat, the rumors were flying that he was now dating Ginny Weasley.

When Harry returned, he found that Ron and Hermione had left to do a patrol of the other cars. Ginny challenged him to a game of chess and he readily agreed. He found he enjoyed the game even more when he had a slight chance of winning. Neville and Luna eventually grew tired of watching them play, and went to visit the other cars to see who was around. Seizing on the moment of being alone with her, Harry muttered, "I need to apologize for something, Ginny."

"What’s that?"

"Well, I ran into Cho when I was walking and she assumed we were dating. I didn’t correct her," Harry said, willing the blush that stained his cheeks to die down.

Ginny looked up sharply and stared at him intently. "Why is that?"

"I dunno, really. I didn’t want to keep the conversation going any longer than I had to and…"

"It’s okay, Harry, don’t worry about it." Ginny giggled. "The idea she and I switched boyfriends is probably bugging her!"

"And you enjoy that?"

"Sure. I’m not above admitting I don’t mind getting on her nerves!" Ginny was smiling evilly.

"Remind me never to cross you."

Ginny’s grin spread even further and Harry felt his stomach give another of those now familiar flip-flops. His eyes widened in alarm as he quickly placed a book on his lap. "I’ll be keeping my eye on you, so you’d better watch your step."

"I’ll— I’ll keep that in mind." He had wanted that to come out sounding casual but his voice had cracked in a embarrassingly high-pitched way.

Ginny giggled at his discomfort. "Nice one."

******

The level of excitement on the train grew as the students changed into their school robes and the great red Hogwarts Express lumbered into the station. They’d arrived in Hogsmeade.

As he exited the train, Harry looked eagerly up towards the castle, waiting for the feeling of warmth he’d always felt on seeing it to overtake him. It never came. Somehow, staring at the peaks and turrets of Hogwarts, Harry’s mind flashed vividly on scenes of the previous year…detentions with Umbridge, the Quidditch ban, Occlumency lessons with Snape, Sirius’s head in the fire, the vision he had in his History exam.

He looked over at the carriages lined up to take the students up to the castle. The Thestrals that pulled them seemed to be staring back at him, mocking yet another death he had witnessed. Harry wanted to be sick.

This had always felt like home to him: a safe haven, and a place to belong. Suddenly Harry had the overwhelming childish desire to turn and flee, to run and never stop running. But where would he go? Where was ‘home’? Privet Drive? Grimmauld Place? The Burrow? There was no place else to go.

Closing his eyes tightly, Harry forced these thoughts back. This was Hogwarts! He’d always loved it here and he wouldn’t allow that to be taken from him. There were more pleasant memories to outshine the bad and he had to latch onto those. Gritting his teeth, he hunched his shoulders and led the way toward the carriages. He was going home.