Harry Potter and the Power of Emotion

Chapter Seven

O.W.L.s

The next morning, Harry awoke to find an empty room. He furrowed his brow in confusion and fumbled for his glasses. He had never replaced the watch ruined during the Second Task and had no way of knowing what time it was. Ron was rarely awake before him, and he wondered how late it was. Harry grabbed a change of clothes, took a quick shower, and headed down towards the kitchen.

All the household members were there and gathered around the table, in addition to Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. "Harry! Good morning. How are you feeling?" Mrs. Weasley asked, ushering him to a seat and placing a heaping plate of bacon, eggs and freshly made bread in front of him.

"I’m okay," he replied, glancing at Ron. "Why didn’t you wake me?"

"Thought maybe you could use a bit of a lie in, mate." It was a testament to how concerned all the Weasleys were about Harry’s sleeping trouble that even Fred and George refrained from making fun of Harry’s late arrival.

"Good morning, Harry," Professor Dumbledore greeted him. "I’m wondering if you might join me in the library after you’ve had your breakfast?" Although it was phrased as a question, Harry knew he shouldn’t decline. He made to stand up and follow, but Dumbledore waved him back. "Eat your breakfast, Harry. I wouldn’t want to face Molly’s wrath if I interfered with her progress in adding some bulk to your frame. I need to speak with Remus for a moment, and I’ll see you afterwards."

Harry colored slightly at Dumbldore’s reference to his being underweight, but sat back down and started on his breakfast. Hermione had her head buried in a book entitled Advanced Preparation for the N.E.W.T.s, while Ron and Ginny were arguing over the chances that Ron’s team, the Chudley Cannons, would make the playoffs.

"Oh come on, Ron. Why do you put yourself through this every year?" Ginny sounded exasperated.

"This is their year, Gin. I can feel it! They’re due!"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "What about you, Harry? Are you excited to get back to playing Quidditch this year?"

Harry blinked. He hadn’t really given it much thought. "I dunno, can I? I still have a lifetime ban, don’t I?"

"Oh, I’m sure that’s been lifted. McGonagall probably burned all that old bat’s ruddy decrees the moment she was gone!" Ron exclaimed. "No, I’m sure you’ll be back as Seeker this year and the Cup is as good as ours!"

Harry looked at Ginny. "Does that bother you?"

"Bother me? Of course not, Harry. I told you that last year. The Seeker spot has always been yours. I want the House Cup to remain with Gryffindor as well. I do hope to take one of the empty Chaser positions though. Professor McGonagall is here. Why not just ask her about the ban, if it will make you feel better."

Harry nodded. "I think I will."

"Excellent," Fred joined in the conversation, "George and I are planning to make it up to Hogwarts for your first game, maybe we can even persuade Angelina and Alicia to join us. Ahh, the memories!"

"I think it’ll be hard not getting on that train with you September 1^st. You’ll have to keep up the prankster image for us, Harry. We can’t expect Ronniekins here to carry on since he went and got made Prefect!" George sounded scandalized. "It’ll be up to you to continue our legacy."

"Ron will have much more pressing things to worry about rather than a bunch of tricks," Hermione piped up. "We’ve got N.E.W.T.s coming up and we all must prepare to take them!"

"That’s not until next year, Hermione!" Ron complained.

"It doesn’t hurt to be prepared! You don’t want to start out behind like you did with your O.W.L.s now, do you Ron?"

Ron bowed his head meekly and remained silent. Fred cleared his throat with something that sounded remarkably liked ‘Whipped.’ Both Harry and Ginny hid their smirks behind their pumpkin juice.

Harry stood up and carried his cleared plate over to the sink where Mrs. Weasley beamed at him. She really had been good to him since he had arrived. She’d always shown more concern for him in their brief times together than Aunt Petunia had his whole life. Spontaneously, he planted a quick kiss on her cheek and saw her eyes widen in delighted surprise. His cheeks colored and he murmured, "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," as he quickly left the kitchen without looking at the other occupants. He caught a glimpse of a brilliant smile on Ginny’s face and his stomach did a strange sort of flip-flop.

He found the door to the library open and Dumbledore was inside alone, staring out the window. Harry took a moment to stare at the aged Headmaster. Dumbledore looked older than he ever had to Harry. He seemed to be stooped and was missing the air of vitality that usually shrouded him. His face looked worn and tired, and though his eyes still held their trademark twinkle, it was subdued; he looked like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. In essence, Harry supposed that he was. He felt a thrill of fear course through his body. He’d never given the idea of losing Dumbledore a second thought! He’d always seemed so invincible. The sight of him now was troubling and Harry took a deep breath to steady his nerves.

Clearing his throat slightly as he entered, Harry made his way over to the older Wizard. "Ah, Harry, come in. May I offer you some tea?"

"Yes, please," Harry answered, more for something to do than anything else.

After Dumbledore handed Harry the cup and saucer, he turned those piercing blue eyes on him. "It is my understanding that you have been having trouble sleeping."

Harry nodded, "I’m going to need to put a silencing charm around my bed at Hogwarts or the other Gryffindor 6^th years will be failing all their classes in no time, sir."

"That won’t be necessary, Harry. Let us see if we can do something to ease the nightmares, shall we? Alas, I would prefer you did not use silencing charms even if it causes you some embarrassment. We need to be alerted if you are in distress."

Though Harry didn’t want to admit it, he had considered this. Maybe they could put a charm around Seamus, Neville and Dean and he could just ask Ron for help. Dumbledore seemed to be reading the direction of Harry’s thoughts and he continued, "I think we need to resume your Occlumency training straight away. The sooner you can block Voldemort from your mind, the sooner you can get some rest. What happened in your dream last night that was so upsetting?"

Remus must have filled him in, Harry thought. "It started out as just a nightmare, but then Voldemort kind of morphed in and spoke directly to me. That’s never happened before," Harry’s voice grew quieter and quieter as he continued, so that Dumbledore had to strain to hear him. "He said I could never beat him --that he would kill everyone I cared for before coming for me." Harry didn’t want to share the part about everyone blaming him, which he felt was his cross to bear.

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "This is nothing new, Harry. You and your friends are protected at Hogwarts. The Weasleys and Remus are protected here; we are all taking precautions."

Harry turned tortured eyes to his Headmaster. "Precautions don’t always work."

"No, Harry, they don’t. This is a war and there are no guarantees. Our first order of business is to work on Occlumency. I will be stopping by here every other evening to continue your lessons. I am also going to arrange for some extra Defense lessons after you have returned to school."

"You’re going to teach me?"

"Unless you would prefer to continue with Professor Snape?"

"No!" Although Harry was having his issues with Dumbledore at the moment, he was infinitely better than Snape. " I’ll work with you. It was a disaster last year with Snape."

"Professor Snape, Harry."

Harry locked his cold green eyes on Dumbledore’s blue. "I understand that you trust him, Professor, but I don’t. I’ve yet to see a reason to."

"Fair enough, Harry, but when at school, you will show him the proper respect of a Hogwarts teacher. It is not my place to reveal any of his history to you, but I do have my reasons for trusting him. These reasons are solid. He can not escape his past, but he’s certainly risked much in trying to make up for it."

Harry remained silent. If this was Dumbledore’s idea of making up for past wrongs, maybe he didn’t pay enough attention to Snape’s classes! Shaking his head and getting back to Occlumency, he asked, "If Voldemort can plant images in my mind, can the reverse work as well? Is there a way to teach me how to plant something in his mind?"

"No. Voldemort is far too skilled and has too much experience with Legilimency to fall for that," Dumbledore sighed. "We need to teach you to block him out. We need to focus on protection before we can formulate a plan for attack."

All the pent up fear and anger seemed to explode out of Harry like a volcano. "He’s more skilled and experienced than me with everything! Bloody Hell! How am I suppose to defeat him? I saw you fight him at the Ministry. It was amazing. You both were doing things I didn’t even know could be done, let alone how. How can I beat him? You say that I’m the one in this Prophecy, but you’ve also always said it’s our choices that define who we are! Where is my choice in this? I don’t want it! I don’t want any of it! In order to live, I have to kill! I don’t want to murder anyone, anymore than I want to die!"

"You do have a choice, Harry! Will you stand and fight, or give up? What choice did Remus Lupin have when bitten by a werewolf as a child? He had the choice of taking the Wolfsbane and leading a productive life, or turning to a life of violence as many werewolves do. Mad Eye Moody had no choice in losing his leg. He did have the choice of attaching his wooden limb and carrying on, or becoming an invalid bound to a chair. Life hands us each our own situation. How we deal with it is our choice. I won’t deny, Harry, that life has been cruelly unkind to you. Still, how you chose to live with the cards you’ve been dealt is entirely up to you. You do have power and a strength that he underestimates. He may have more experience, but this is why we need to give you this time to learn. You have to put all your energy into learning to block these visions. You’ve got to let go of your anger, Harry."

Tears of frustration burned behind Harry’s eyes and Dumbledore was surprised to see this uncharacteristic display from Harry. "I’m trying," he whispered. "It won’t stop."

"Let me see if I can help you with that. Can you do that, Harry? Do you think you can try to trust me again?"

Unable to make his voice form the words, Harry merely nodded. They began with some mind clearing techniques which were almost like meditation. Dumbledore was, by far, a more patient and gentle teacher. He seemed perturbed that Harry was unaware of any techniques for clearing his mind. The more Harry took in, the more the twinkle disappeared from Dumbledore’s eyes. It boosted Harry’s confidence slightly to see his Headmaster’s annoyance at his former Occlumency teacher. After about an hour of preparation, he asked if Harry was ready to try and practice.

Feeling very apprehensive, Harry nodded. Dumbledore aimed his wand, gave a slight nod and said, "Legilimens." At first Harry merely concentrated on keeping his mind blank by focusing on an object on the wall. The room swayed and blurred as he fought against a pushing inside his skull. Soon the effort became too much and he felt his mind drift as images began flashing in front of him: Ron falling unconscious on a giant chessboard, Ginny lying motionless in the Chamber of Secrets, Uncle Vernon raising his fist as they argued by his car, a Hungarian Horntail dragon whipping its tail in fury.

Next he was back at the Department of Mysteries; Bellatrix Lestrange sent a beam of red light towards Sirius, who seemed to fall in slow motion back through the veil. Dumbledore lifted the curse instantly and Harry fell to the ground, shaking violently. He kept his eyes screwed shut and choked, "Enough."

Dumbledore gently helped him to a chair. "Yes. That is enough for today, Harry. You definitely showed some progress and you succeeded in blocking me at first. I want you to keep practicing these exercises and I’ll return the night after tomorrow. We’ll give you a day in between to practice and recover."

Harry, his eyes still closed, nodded mutely.

"Have you thought about the D.A. at all?" Dumbledore asked.

"What about it?"

"Will you be continuing it this year?"

"I dunno. Do we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher yet?"

"Indeed we do. Diana Trent is a former auror. She has been living in the United States since the end of the first war. Remus is an old acquaintance; you can ask him about her. She has agreed to take on the position. However, I think you should consider continuing with the D.A. It could be a school club and you could get a teacher to sponsor it, if you would prefer. You do not have to answer now, but think on it, Harry."

Harry nodded. Did he want to continue with the D.A.? He had enjoyed it. It was one of the only bright spots from last year. At the moment, his head ached and all he wanted was to lie down for a while. As he left the room, he ran right into Professor McGonagall. "Goodness, Potter. Do watch where you are going!"

"Sorry, Professor."

"Are you all right, Potter?" Harry could see the trace of pity on her usually stern face and he instantly pulled back from her,

"I’m fine. Professor McGonagall, am I allowed to play Quidditch this year or will the ban be upheld?"

"I wanted to talk with you about that, Potter. No, the ban is indeed lifted. In fact, how would you feel about captaining the Gryffindor team?"

"Captain?"

"Well, I’ve offered the position to Katie Bell, as the senior member, but with her N.E.W.T studies, she has declined. You are the next senior member."

Harry allowed his heart a brief thrill. Captain of the Quidditch team! All too quickly, reality swept down upon him. He had to take Occlumency lessons, extra defense lessons, and possibly the D.A, how could he possibly manage it all. Knowing the other things were more important, Harry sighed heavily. "I’m sorry, Professor, but I think I may be over-committed as it is, I’m going to have to turn you down. I think Ron would be an excellent choice though. He knows everything about Quidditch and really is a decent strategist."

"I will take that into consideration. I am sorry, Mr. Potter."

"Me, too," Harry sighed wearily, heading up to his room to lie down for a few peaceful moments uninterrupted.

He felt like he’d just barely closed his eyes when he was awakened by Ginny tugging on his hand. "Come on, Harry, wake up! I’m sorry to disturb you, you looked like you were sleeping so peacefully."

Harry blinked in confusion, feeling very self-conscious suddenly. He wondered how long she’d been there. He shook his head to clear it; he was just being paranoid. She wouldn’t have been standing there just watching him sleep. He was being ridiculous.

"The letters from Hogwarts have arrived; your O.W.L results are here," she said quickly. "Hermione is in a right state and if you don’t get down there quickly, we’re going to have to give her a calming draught!"

Harry was trying to orient himself. He didn’t much care about the O.W.L. results; it wasn’t like there was a specific one for defeating a Dark Lord. But he did like the feeling of Ginny’s hand in his and so he procrastinated a bit, trying to keep her there longer. If anyone called him on it, Harry would deny it. But to himself he could admit that there was something about Ginny Weasley that just made him happy. Happy was a rare and very good thing these days, and he’d take it when he could get it.

"I’m coming," he laughed as she nearly pulled him off his feet. "My, you’re tenacious."

"You have no idea!"

Entering the kitchen, they found Ron and Hermione sitting with Mrs. Weasley and the Twins. Ron and Hermione each had an unopened envelope in front of them with the Hogwarts seal emblazoned on the front.

"Harry! Our letters have just arrived!" Hermione was so excited she couldn’t sit still. "We waited to open them until you came down!" She nearly threw an envelope at Harry while Ron more gently handed one to Ginny.

"What are you two doing home so early?" Harry asked the Twins.

"Lee is closing the shop for us tonight," George replied. "We’ve got dates!"

"Yep," continued Fred, "I’m taking Angelina to see the Weird Sisters and George is bringing Katie. It’s almost like a reunion of our old team! We tried to get in touch with Oliver but he’s travelling with Puddlemere."

Hermione broke into the conversation with a loud squeal. She couldn’t contain herself any longer and frantically tore open her Hogwarts letter. "This is just not right! Special consideration should have been given to that Astronomy test! After all, there were extenuating circumstances! I can not believe they didn’t take that into account! It just isn’t right!"

Ron grabbed her letter, certain that he wouldn’t get any kind of clear answer out of her. "Hermione, you got twelve OWLS with an overall grade of Outstanding! In fact, the only test you didn’t get an O on was Astronomy and that was an E! This is brilliant, Hermione!" He leaned right over and kissed her, instantly stopping her stewing.

"How did you do?" she asked as she took his letter without waiting for a response, "Eleven! Ron, this is wonderful!"

"Yeah, overall grade is just Acceptable though."

"Future employers won’t look at the overall, just the number of OWLS," Ginny said, earning a glare from both her mother and Hermione. "Congratulations, Ron. Eleven is brilliant!"

Ron’s ears went red as he beamed at his sister. "How’d you do, mate?" he asked Harry.

Harry shrugged. He hadn’t opened it yet. Ginny grabbed it with exasperation and shoved the letter in his hands. It read:

Dear Mr. Potter:

Enclosed please find the results of your O.W.L.s:

Subject

Theory Practical

Divination N/A D

Astronomy N/A A

Herbology N/A E

Potions E O

History D N/A

Magical Creatures N/A O

Charms E E

Transfiguration E E

DADA O O*

Total Score: 11 Overall Rating: Exceeds Expectations

* Honorary Distinction

Congratulations Mr. Potter, you have done very well. Please select the appropriate course for your NEWT levels and return the enclosed form to me.

Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

"You got eleven too, Harry, with an overall of Exceeds Expectations and an Honorary Distinction in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Well done!" Ginny smiled brightly at him.

Although Harry had said he didn’t care, he found Ginny’s smile made him feel quite proud. He thought that alone was worth it.

"Honorary Distinction? Did you really, Harry? According to Hogwarts: A History that means you scored in the top 10 overall on that exam. Did it say what your score was exactly," Hermione asked. Although she was trying to cover, it was obvious to everyone that she was feeling a bit put out by Harry beating her.

"Well, aren’t you all just a bunch of bright little students! I don’t know, Harry. I expected it from our Prefects here, but you! I’m not sure you’ll be able to carry on in the way an investor of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes should. Eleven OWLS, really! Do you think you’ll be up to the task of taking up where we left off?" Fred asked sadly.

"If not, I’ll help him," Ginny added. "Looks like I didn’t make Prefect," she said as she shook her own letter, revealing no shiny Prefect badge.

"That’s our girl, Gin!" George exclaimed. "Knew you had it in you!"

"Oh, Ginny," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed and Ginny winced. "Being a Prefect is something to be proud of. You shouldn’t have let these two hooligans intimidate you!"

"Intimidate her? Mum, how long have you been in this family? Ginny is the one who has always intimidated the rest of us!" Fred yelled hotly.

"Ron," Hermione broke in, "how did you manage to get an Exceeds Expectations on your Divination Practical Exam? I thought you said you made it up!"

"I did! Most of it I was just joking."

Harry remained quiet through most of this exchange. He found himself staring at the History of Magic grade. He didn’t pass that exam. That was where the vision of Sirius first reached him. He cringed at the memory of how Voldemort tricked him and silently vowed that it would never happen again. Somehow he would find a way to protect the people here in this room, and never allow Voldemort to use him in that way again. He was going to learn Occlumency! It was time to take control and do whatever it took to come out of this alive. He wasn’t going to lose anyone else.