A Cloud Before the Moon

Chapter 46

Anjana Patil and Letha Faraday sat on the floor of the nursery. Anji held the baby, Sabita, in her arms; the little one's chubby face lay on her mother's shoulder in cherubic repose. Letha smiled as she felt Anjana's head against her own shoulder; she was grateful to be included in this tableau of domestic intimacy. Then she noticed that the woman's breathing had become slow and even, and that her hands were loosening their hold on the child. Letha gently extricated Sabita from her mother's arms and held her close. Anjana's dark-circle-rimmed eyes popped open in alarm.

"Shh", whispered Letha. "It's alright, I've got her."

Anjana turned red with embarrassment. "Did I fall asleep? What is the matter with me?" she chastised herself.

"Anji, you're exhausted, utterly exhausted. You can't go on like this!"

"Just seven more months, then the training program at St. Bartholomew's will be over. I just have to get through it. Then I will take off some time before residency." She paused. "If I can."

Letha tugged on the time-turner that hung on a chain around the doctor's neck. "You'd be much better off without this thing. So what if you take an extra year or two?"

"Or three or four? Maybe I can just do it at my leisure, in my spare time," she said in a sarcastic tone. Then she lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry. Letha, I told you, I have made certain commitments.

How would I explain to my Muggle colleagues why I was taking a leave of absence from my internship?"

"How about the obvious answer - you have three little children at home? Not to mention your work here with Raj! I guarantee you - none of your colleagues has one of these stupid time-turner things - they must make some adjustments to fit in all the pieces of their lives."

"No! There are two other women with young children and one who is 7 months pregnant. They are not taking off time."

Letha shook her head in amazement. Is that the way the Muggles do things? Are they stupid or crazy?"

"That's just the way it's always been done. You can't shirk your responsibility."

"Anji, taking care of your children does not constitute 'shirking your responsibility'." Letha shook her head in amazement. "If that's the way they think, I'm glad I'm not a Muggle, and that I don't have to associate with them!"

"My parents are Muggles!" Anjana snapped. "I spent the first 10 years of my life as a Muggle!"

She frowned. "You used to be much more open-minded."

"Open-minded? I'm sorry, but this is just madness!"

"Look, Letha, Muggle doctors were men, traditionally. If they had families, it was the wife who took care of everything. They still haven't adjusted to the changes."

"You know what I think? It's just an excuse - they get very well-educated cheap labor this way. They've no incentive to change, if you go along with it." Letha continued to expound on her theory of exploitation. At some point, she felt Anjana's head fall against her shoulder again. The woman had fallen asleep. Letha stopped talking, and sat silently there on the floor, with the sleeping baby in her arms, the sleeping mother against her shoulder, and the two sleeping girls on the beds across from her.

Letha's legs were beginning to fall asleep as well, when she heard the door creak and footsteps approached. Raj Patil knelt down next to his wife, picked her up and moved her on to the bed. Then he silently held out his hand to help Letha stand up. She gratefully stretched her legs and gently lay the baby in her crib. Raj whispered to her, "I will put Anji to bed. You should get to sleep too."

Letha shook her head. "Unlike your wife, I am a lady of leisure. I'm really not tired; maybe I'll go to the library and read."

Dr. Patil left, carrying Anjana to her room.

A little while later, Letha was sitting in the library, staring into a copy of The Theoretical Basis of Organic Alchemy, the same book Severus had been reading - or trying to read - in the carriage, the day he'd accompanied her and then disappeared without a word. She sighed in dismay. What he'd done made no sense to her. Nor did the book in her hands. When Raj Patil walked into the library, she had no difficulty tearing herself away from the less-than-fascinating material.

Letha confronted him in an accusatory tone. "You know she shouldn't be working this hard!"

"It is her decision, not mine. I cannot tell her what to do."

"I respect that, but, it is so unfair and wrong to treat people that way."

"I agree - she is working much too hard, but she does not like if I say so." He paused. "Anjana has told me you have always been deeply concerned about unfairness. About right and wrong. I suppose that is why you went into law."

"Do you think I will ever be able to return to that profession, or I will spend the rest of my life wandering about in a perpetual fog?"

Patil smiled wanly. "We all wander around in a perpetual fog. It is the human condition."

"I suppose, but I guess my fog is a little thicker than most." She glanced down at the book she'd been examining. "Particularly when it comes to trying to comprehend the actions of a certain person.... who seems to have simply dumped me on your doorstep, like an unwanted package."

"He is still on your mind, then?"

"Once in a while," she responded. (If you define 'once in a while' as 'a hundred times a day and preventing me from sleeping at night', she thought.)

"As time passes and you become reconnected with the world, you will find other things to occupy your mind."

Logically, what he said made sense. After all, she only knew Snape superficially, artificially. For a few weeks, he was her only human contact, her only memory, even if that memory span was only as long as her brief incarceration in the flowery captivity of Narcissa's bedchamber. Surely, it was no more than a temporary infatuation, that would eventually fade away. "I'm sure you're right."

"Are you still corresponding with him?"

Letha chose not to quibble with his use of the word 'corresponding', which implied that there was a two-way flow of mail.

"I write an occasional note, just to keep him informed of my progress", she answered coolly. "If he does not respond some time soon, I shall assume he has no interest and give it up."

"I think that is a good idea." He examined Letha's dejected face. "You would not be so distressed if you knew...." She looked up at him sharply and he stopped. "Never mind."

"If I knew what? Raj, there is just nothing more infuriating than 'Never mind'."

"I apologize - you are right. But I should not speak when I do not know for sure myself."

"Know what for sure?" she persisted.

His face grew very grave. "If your Mr. Snape was a Deatheater."

Letha blinked in disbelief. She had read the accounts of the Deatheater trials in the Daily Prophet, with their appalling lists of charges. What they had done seemed unthinkable, but it also seemed to her as something distant, something that had happened long ago, perhaps before she was even born. Certainly, Severus had never indicated that he had any connection to what had happened, nor had she ever contemplated such a thing. "Is it possible?"

"There are reasons to believe it is so. And if it is, you must understand why it is necessary to sever any connection you have with him" Raj Patil proceeded to describe some of the horrors that had gone on over the past decade, how the Deatheaters had spread misery, terror and death. Raj's own brother had been tortured to death. He had been a psi-cologist, and refused to share personal information about his patients. As he spoke of his brother, Raj Patil lost all semblance of the calm professional, the cheerful husband and father to which Letha had become accustomed in the preceding weeks. He spoke in a hushed, broken voice, his eyes red and glistening.

When he finished, Letha found it impossible to respond right away. Finally, she was able to offer her condolences. She had to agree - if Snape had any part in such things, she would have nothing to do with him. "Isn't there any way to find out if Snape was in fact a Deatheater?"

Raj closed his eyes tiredly and considered. "I cannot. But perhaps, you can get that information."

"He's not written back to me at all. Surely he's not going to start responding because I ask "Were you ever a Deatheater? A follower of Lord - what was it - Voldemort?" Patil winced at the name. "If I should ask him if he truly is a deeply horrible person, shall I expect an answer?"

Raj shook his head tersely. "That was not what I had in mind. You know, Letha, you work for the Ministry of Magic, division of criminal prosecution. You are entitled to see those records, though I am not."

"But I am not working there now. I'm not sure they will simply hand me confidential records, just like that...."

"You are a clever girl. I would not be surprised if you were able to figure out how to get your hands on those records."

As she mulled it over, it seemed like an excellent idea. However, a thought occurred to her. "I don't suppose you want to see those records yourself, do you?"

"No, I would not ask you to show them to me. But I am sure you realize that you cannot make a clearheaded conclusion without verifiable fact. Under ordinary circumstances, I do not believe that love requires a rational basis, but this is a special circumstance. Do you not agree?"

"Yes, but I'm really not in love with him." Raj looked at her doubtfully. "Really, " she assured him, shaking her head emphatically.

"I am glad to hear it."

They bid one another good night; and Letha headed for her room, already considering how she would acquire the information she needed to better answer the question - just who was Severus Snape?