Setting It Straight

Setting It Straight

Sirius put a hand to his head; it was throbbing. He opened his eyes and found himself slouched over in a chair. Where was he? What had happened? He looked around. Was this Flitwick's office? He hadn't been here in years and yet it was pretty much the same. That meant he had been brought back to Hogwarts. He tried to put his thoughts in order. The last thing he remembered was the dementors and Harry and Hermione. Sirius stood up and tried the door. Locked. He began to pace the room.

What had happened next? He couldn't remember. There had been so many dementors. Why wasn't he dead? Or soulless. . . He sat back down. It was too much to think about that. They couldn't have gone after the kids - no, if they did he'd never be able to -. A noise outside the door didn't allow him to finish the thought.

"He will be no harm to me. You can go, I wish to speak with him alone." It was Dumbledore's voice!

The door opened and Sirius stood again quickly, eager for answers, but immediately Dumbledore flashed his eyes and Sirius froze. He'd never seen him look so . . . menacing.

"Sit down, Sirius." The headmaster said sharply.

Sirius sat.

"A good many people out there want you dead tonight. Explain."

Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. Where would he start? He'd had so much trouble clearing his thoughts since leaving Azkaban. But it was important now. He was going to get a lot more than detention if he didn't do this right. Dumbledore was probably the one person who would be able to help him.

Dumbledore, in his way of almost reading your mind, said "Perhaps you should start at the beginning." He voice had lost its sharpness as he sat down on the other side of the desk.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked straight into Dumbledore's. "I've never been a Death Eater and I didn't tell Voldemort where Lily and James were hiding."

Dumbledore nodded, but Sirius couldn't tell if be believed him or not. "Go on."

"And I didn't escape Azkaban to kill Harry." He looked down and his voice became less strong. "I'm the only one who even knew what the real danger to him was."

"Sirius, how did you escape Azkaban?"

Sirius remembered Remus saying that he had never told Dumbledore. "I'm an animagus. So was James . . . and so is Peter."

At this, Dumbledore couldn't completely hide the surprised look on this face. Sirius let out a brief smile. It would have felt good had the circumstances been different. "We always used to talk about how we would tell you." His smile faded. "I don't think this was on the list." He considered changing just then to show him, but he wasn't completely sure that Dumbledore wouldn't take the move as a threat. He needed Dumbledore to trust him.

"When did you develop this ability?"

Sirius didn't say anything. He wanted to phrase his answer without bringing Remus into it.

"Your words will not incriminate anyone else here. I only want to understand your actions."

Sirius understood. "Since fifth year at school. It took us years. We wanted to be able to do something for Remus so he didn't have to be alone during the full moons." He paused. "He wasn't helping me with anything. I never saw Remus until tonight."

"I know he didn't. That was extremely dangerous to run around with a werewolf."

Sirius nodded. Surely Dumbledore knew that that was half the fun.

"Did anyone else know about this?"

"Just Lily. And she didn't know until after we left school. We thought about telling you then also - maybe it would come in useful to the Order, but we could never all agree on the right time and no one was allowed to tell if we couldn't all agree. I did use it sometimes then; I just never said how I got information. It was really useful in Azkaban - the dementors can't get into your head as much when you aren't human. I guess it's why I never really went mad, that and the fact that I was innocent." He paused for a second. Sometime he wasn't fully convinced that he wasn't mad. "And last summer I was just able to slip through the bars as a dog." He looked at Dumbledore sheepishly. "Sorry, it's also how I got into the castle. The front door just let me right it." He tried not to smile. James would have thought that was so funny.

"Let me see you."

And Sirius changed into the dog for him. Dumbledore looked him over, but it was obvious that it wasn't to see how well he transformed. He was checking his markings so he'd be able to recognize him in the future.

He changed back. "Sir - Peter can change into a rat. He's been living here at Hogwarts - he was the one who was working for Voldemort. He's been living with Harry's friend - the one who looks like Fabian - er - Ron."

"I've seen the rat."

"Did you ever notice that he was missing a toe?"

Sirius saw a realization come over Dumbledore's face. He looked back at Sirius. "But you were their secret keeper."

Sirius sighed. "That's what we wanted you to think, you and Remus and everyone. It's my fault. I thought I had a better plan than you. I knew Voldemort would come after me and I was afraid - not that I would be hurt or killed, but that he would somehow be able to get the information from me. I made James switch to Peter as the secret keeper. Then they would be able to come after me and I wouldn't be able to tell where they were because I wouldn't know. I could throw them off. I didn't know . . . I never thought . . . all the evidence pointed to Remus . . .I shouldn't have gone against you."

"If this is true than I am also at fault. I knew someone close to him was passing on information and did suspect Peter as well."

"I didn't. When did he get -? He wasn't smart enough . . . I handed James and Lily right to him and I was too late by the time I realized it."

"You haven't acted like an innocent man, Sirius. You didn't contact anyone after you escaped."

"I didn't know who would believe me. I know I refused to talk to you when I was first sent to Azkaban and I wasn't sure if you would believe me now. If I had Peter - if I had proof - it would make everything so much easier."

"Are you ready to talk to me on that account? There was more than one person who felt your guilt was certain when you refused to talk to me about what happened."

Sirius nodded slowly. He knew he meant Remus and probably Dumbledore himself. "I couldn't . . . I didn't feel innocent."

"I might have been able to help you back then if you had seen me."

"I don't know what I was thinking, but I really wasn't scared to go to Azkaban at first. I thought I deserved it. I just wanted Peter dead - I still do! I did think about the future. I just assumed that it would work itself out."

"You can't do everything by yourself Sirius. You need to be able to let people in. Trust them."

Sirius scoffed. "Fat lot of good it did us trusting Peter! And you didn't see what it was like that day! I saw people! They were all celebrating - there were parties - James and Lily were dead and they were celebrating - I didn't need that sort of help! And I didn't have time to waste. I was the only one that knew - that cared."

"You don't think that there were others who would have cared? You should have known better than that."

Sirius shrugged half-heartedly. "It doesn't matter now. He escaped - again - if only I'd done it earlier."

"Then you would never have evidence to prove your innocence."

"His body would prove it."

Dumbledore frowned. "How did you know Peter was here? Why escape now?"

In all the excitement of earlier, Sirius couldn't quite remember putting her dear Daily Profit picture, but there it was and he pulled it out again. "I managed to get this from Fudge when he visited Azkaban." He pointed down to the rat on Ron's shoulder. "That's Peter - I've seen him transfer many times - and he's been staying right in Harry's dormitory! I never tried to escape before and they don't let you have a lot of contact with the outside world, so I couldn't really tell anyone even if I thought they'd believe me. Voldemort's not dead. I know that. If he came back, Peter would have been in the perfect position to do something to Harry . . . I failed James once, I couldn't do it again . . .."

He looked up at Dumbledore. That was everything, the entire story. He felt stupid and arrogant and angry - and frustrated with himself for feeling these things. If he had only talked with Dumbledore all those years ago, he might have lived a semi-normal life. Harry would have been able to live with him, like a nephew or a son. Maybe he still could, if only Dumbledore believed him. The headmaster always had a way of knowing when people were telling the truth and it was just because he was an expert at legilimency. "It's true sir, all of it. Please . . . I don't want to go back to Azkaban."

"I know." Dumbledore stood and came around the desk. "I believe you. I must say, I've taught a great many students in this school, including Lord Voldemort himself, and none of their actions ever surprised me as your did all those years ago. I'm glad to be wrong in this manner." He put out his hand to Sirius and Sirius accepted it. "Welcome back."

"Thank you."

"Now listen closely, my belief in you isn't going to make everything else disappear. There won't be any evidence that we can gather tonight to prove your innocence."

Sirius looked down at his feet. This was not what he wanted to hear.

"You will need to get away from here. I know you want to look after Harry, but you have to know that it will not be possible. You need to trust in other people Sirius. There are others looking out for Harry."

Sirius nodded and Dumbledore turned to leave. "Professor?" The headmaster looked back. "He looks just like James, doesn't he?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Far away, I'd like my school back." He left the room.

Sirius wasn't sure what he expected to happen. He sat there for a minute wondering if Snape would get his way. No, Snape was coming down with him if he was going to be turned over to the dementors. Was Harry all right? Dumbledore hadn't said. Would he be able to talk on his behalf? Just then he heard something hit the window.

He looked towards it and his jaw dropped. Harry and Hermione were there! Were they on a hippogriff? Hermione motioned him back and opened the window.

"How - how -?" He couldn't get it out. Was this what Dumbledore had in mind? When did he have the time? For a split second he thought that Harry must get away with a lot more at Hogwarts than he or James ever did.

He didn't realize that Harry was talking while trying to keep the hippogriff steady. "-time. You've got to get out of here - the dementors are coming - Mcnair's gone to get them."

Sirius made it out fairly easily. God, he was thin. Harry pulled the creature up to the West Tower and he and Hermione slid off it.

Harry was out of breath. "Sirius, you'd better go, quick. They'll reach Flitwick's office any moment, they'll find out you're gone."

There were still so many unanswered questions. "What happened to the other boy? Ron?" He croaked. He'd done more talking in the last three hours than in the last twelve years.

"He's going to be okay. He's sill out of it, but Madam Pomfrey says she'll be able to make him better. Quick - go - "

But he didn't want to leave yet. He'd only just met Harry. He seemed so much like James . . . He wished they had more time. But Dumbledore said . . . "How can I ever thank -"

They both shouted at him this time. "GO!"

He and the hippogriff, Buckbeak, Harry had called it, started to take off, but there was one more thing he had to get out. "We'll see each other again. You are - truly your father's son, Harry . . ."

And with that he was gone.