Like Water on Charcoal

***

Like Water on Charcoal

Part III: Narcissa Malfoy

***

Ever since she had been a child, Narcissa Black had never owned anything for more than two weeks. Her tall mother and foreboding father seemed to be more than happy to indulge their daughter's every whim as long as she stayed out of their sight and out of their hair. However, despite this easy attitude, there was one rule that was always enforced. If any of the children had not grown tired of a trinket or some new plaything by two weeks, it was to be thrown out by the servants and replaced with another copy. Narcissa never found a problem with that before. She grew tired of items long before then.

When she became Narcissa Malfoy, she expected the same treatment. She made sure that the one she married would have enough wealth to support her indulgences and the Malfoy name held much more to it than history and fear. It held an endless fortune. One that Narcissa was almost too happy to use. The castle changed decorations every few days. Items were bought and thrown away within hours of each other. It was a perfect life for Narcissa, the youngest daughter from a respectable family.

Everything was fine until a white-haired boy came into the world and attachment became much more than a word.

***

He called her Snow White.

With shiny, raven black hair down to her waist and skin so pale it was almost translucent, she supposed she did rather look the part. He called her Snow White and she wondered what she could call him? She didn't think anyone could fit a name to him. Names belonged to living things. He looked like someone had chiseled the most expensive marble into life and topped it all with woven snow. Only living things deserved names and perhaps he wasn't made out of marble because his name was Lucius and he was the storm that couldn't end.

The first time he saw her (twelve and haughty as she walked down the hallowed school floors), he had grabbed her arm (his own thirteen year old one small but full of infused power) and murmured, "Snow White. My Snow White."

Narcissa was a proud girl and she would have snatched her arm away with disgust snarling her mouth. She would have if he hadn't been Lucius Malfoy, who would have been powerful and feared even if he hadn't been born a Malfoy.

It had been Lucius Malfoy, though, and so she just smiled her ruby lips beautifully and assented, "Your Snow White."

There were no attachments at that time. There was only her parent's approval and her dress that was weaved out of unicorn hair. The dress that cost enough to feed more than thirty of the lesser wizards for a month. The one that she had lost somewhere in the giant wardrobe that was her life.

***

Bellatrix had been the wild one, screaming and screeching wildly around the manor as a child.

Andromeda had been the bad one, laughing and whispering with her Hufflepuff classmates,

Narcissa had been the good one.

They never spoke to each other growing up because there was simply no need to. In a lesser, poorer home, where the children could not buy their amusement and so had to befriend their siblings, the children argued and fought and stuck by each other. In their home, Bellatrix the crazy, Narcissa the perfect and Andromeda the unspeakable were just three girls growing up at the same time in the same area.

The only reason Narcissa would ever question the goodness of wealth would be because of this, her estrangement to the two people she should have been closest too.

When Bellatrix had walked into Narcissa's home years after what was supposed to be their final parting, she was sporting a crazed grin.

"Hello, Narcissa," she had drawled slowly, taking pleasure in the fact that for once, perfect Narcissa was no longer the favorite. "My Lord called me here to be beside him. I'm sure your husband can relate the entire meeting afterwards."

Narcissa had just looked her nose down at the girl who should have held more than just contempt and spat, "You're treading dirt onto my floor, Bellatrix."

***

Bellatrix was contemptible, but Andromeda was not (despite her foolish actions).

Andromeda, with her romantic ideas and glaring dimples, could have been the one to explain to Narcissa what attachment meant. Andromeda hadn't cared enough, though, and Narcissa thinks that you don't have to be a Death Eater to be cruel and unfeeling. Andromeda had ignored her family until she turned eleven and arrived in Hogwarts, where she discovered that there were people who would take her into their arms and hold her there. Andromeda had not shown up at Narcissa's wedding.

Andromeda had not looked back on her seventeenth birthday as she walked away from the manor she grew up in.

Andromeda had not seen the little sister trembling white as snow behind the dark red curtains.

***

As she screamed into the bright ceiling of the hospital with the Healers all around her, Narcissa imagined her new baby. It would be a beautiful boy with her jet-black hair and Lucius's gray eyes. It would have the marble perfection of a Malfoy and the power of the world in it's hands. It would be something that would fit perfectly, like a piece of furniture, in it's large, silver nursery. It would be her new trinket of the moment.

Narcissa hadn't expected the wrinkled, red bundle with the tuft of shock white hair that was placed into her shaky arms. She hadn't anticipated the scowling, unsatisfied face or the small tiny fists hitting the air. Narcissa didn't lie to herself. Her baby was hideous.

Nonetheless, she had looked at the baby in awe and thought with a thumping heart as something new and inexplicable bloomed in the place that would have been her heart.

She murmured, "My little Draco," and thought, What do you want from me?

***

Since Draco's birth, Narcissa knew with a mother's intuition that she was the only one looking out for her child.

Lucius had taken one look at her little Draco and said in a clipped voice, "I'll see him again when he begins to look like a Malfoy." Narcissa had sighed, but hadn't expected any more from him.

She knew that one day, her little bundle with odd white hair would grow up to be the Malfoy heir and that there were many, many people who wanted that title. She knew, without a doubt, that there would be a certain people in his school that would despise him and many who would revere him. She even briefly wished that the sorting hat would make a mistake and send him into Gryffindor or Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. It won't matter who his family is in any of those houses. One only needs to look at Andromeda to confirm that.

Narcissa knew all this just as she knew that she was going to do everything in her power to ensure that Draco outlive her.

***

Her mother had taught her that attachments were not good.

Her mother had lost all three of her daughters.

***

Mum,

Harry Potter is such a stupid, ugly...

Mum,

You won't believe what Potter did today in...

Mum,

Stupid arrogant Potter and his stupid...

Mum,

Potter had the nerve to...

Narcissa knew her son better than anyone else. She knew how to read between the spaces left by her son's words. She knew that what Draco wanted most was for her to write back after one of his letters and say, "I give in, Draco. You win. We have kidnapped Harry Potter and you shall soon get him wrapped in green and silver ribbons. Happy (early) Birthday, darling."

Draco was allowed to keep anything of his as long as he wanted.

He was allowed to have anything he wanted to keep.

Harry Potter was the first thing he could not have.

***

She should have known that something was wrong when Lucius entered the bedroom that morning. His face was apologetic and she knew enough to know that he was never sorry about anything.

"Yes?" she inquired fearfully.

"Narcissa," he said slowly as he sat at the edge of the bed. "There was an attack at Hogwarts last night. It was perfectly orchestrated. I commanded him to stay in his room and stay out of Potter's business, but he wouldn't listen. Draco got caught in the foray. The Dark Lord was aiming for Potter and Draco was in the way. I wasn't there. There was nothing I could - "

By this time, Narcissa had already grabbed her coat and ran to her fireplace.

Lucius stared at her behind his damned Malfoy eyes.

"Snow - " he began.

"No," Narcissa whispered harshly. It was the first time she had refused him anything.

Green flames shot up and engulfed her.

***

He was lying unconscious on the bed. His chest was barely moving.

"Your son is in a position that many of the other students are in, Mrs. Malfoy. He did not receive the full blast of whatever the spell is, we have not yet determined, and so did not die. However, he is in a comatose state and we do - "

"Will he wake up?" Narcissa asked the nurse woman, her eyes still on her son.

"We believe so, yes. The situation remains that You-Know-Who is probably aiming on somehow finishing the spell off - "

Narcissa walked out of the room.

***

Headmaster Dumbledore,

Please take care of Draco for me until he wakes up. Give him to Andromeda and tell her that she is the only one I would trust with him. Give him my note when he wakes up.

- Narcissa Malfoy

***

She knew where he was because her husband did not keep secrets from her.

He stood in the giant dungeon with Lucius and three of his other Death Eaters. They all looked at her as she entered and closed the door.

"Narcissa, what are you doing here? Get out!" Lucius commanded and she could see his eyes flicker. He was afraid for her. How touching.

"No, Lucius," a voice hissed and Narcissa stared fearlessly into red eyes.

"Do you want to kill me?" he taunted and the other Death Eaters shrieked. One of them was Bellatrix.

"No," Narcissa answered.

"Then what are you going to do?"

She looked at him and answered with all the power born into a Black, "I'm going to keep you from harming my son again."

***

There was a spell that Dumbledore taught her, the day before she graduated from Hogwarts and married Lucius. It binds a place. When it is cast, the place she is in is trapped and barred. No one may leave and no one may enter. The spell is irrevocable and her death seals it.

Voldemort may know how to cheat death, but even he falls to the ravages of time.

***

Draco,

I can't give you Harry Potter, but I can give you something almost as good. I can give you a chance. Take it, darling.

- Narcissa

P.S. When you go to live with your Aunt Andromeda, ask her nicely where the old family albums are. When she gives them to you, look for a single picture. It is of me in a white dress in the mud beside a laughing boy. I look about three in the picture. I old Andromeda to burn it, but I know she hasn't. Take that picture and give it to Harry Potter. Tell him, "That's my mum and her cousin, Sirius, before they realized they had chosen different paths in life. If they hadn't, you and I could have grown up beside each other." I can give you this much, my darling Draco.