Hogwarts' Next Top Witch

Hogwarts' Next Top Witch

By Mariposa

Chapter 9: The Girl Who Became Hogwarts' Next Top Witch

Witches from all Houses of Hogwarts competed to be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch and now it's down to two. Who will win? Hermione, the bright and brilliant Muggle-born witch, or Lavender, who wants to be a role model for other witches and wants this more than anything? There can only be one winner!

* * *

Ginny arrived back home at the Burrow early the next morning. Her mouth began to water as the aroma of bacon and eggs frying wafted to her nose. It had been awhile since she had had some of her mother's food and she suddenly became very hungry.

"Mum! I'm back!" Ginny announced, bouncing into the kitchen.

"Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed as she put her wand down so she could hug her daughter. "Is your little competition over?"

"No, I was eliminated." Ginny made a face. "Is Dad home? I've got so much to tell him about my experiences in the Muggle world."

"He had to Apparate to work early."

Just at that moment there was a loud pop! as Fred and George appeared before them.

"Ginny!" George exclaimed. "Are we looking at Hogwarts' Next Top Witch?"

"Don't you mean 'Ogwarts' Next Top Weetch?" Fred made a flourishing gesture with his hands, making Ginny and George laugh.

"No, but I came in third. That's not too bad, right?"

"Obviously we know Hermione is one of the two left," said George. "But who's the other?"

"Lavender Brown."

Both Fred and George burst out laughing like hyenas.

"What on earth is so funny?" Molly, who had gone back to cracking eggs into a bowl with her wand, frowned at the twins.

"Surely you jest, Mum," Fred said. "Even you must see the hilarious irony of Ronniekin's girlfriend and his ex being the last ones remaining."

"Maybe their last challenge should be who knows Ron the best," George sniggered.

"I doubt that's a requirement for a Top Witch," Ginny said. "Though with some of the tasks Fleur has made us do, who knows?"

"So, Gin, have you had the chance to say hello to Arnold yet?" Fred asked nonchalantly.

"Erm, no, I just got back." She looked at them suspiciously. "Why would you ask me about Arnold, and not about Harry or Ron?"

"Um, no reason," George said quickly, jabbing Fred in the ribs. "Well, Fred and I just came to get some breakfast before our second breakfast." He and Fred quickly gathered bacon and toast and Apparated, leaving Ginny feeing a bit confused.

Molly had gone over to the stairs and yelled up at Ron and Harry to "get their bums down to breakfast."

Getting an idea, Ginny rummaged through her bag and pulled out a blonde wig she had bought for fun when she was in California and put it on her head.

"Ginny, what in the world?" her mother asked, returning to the kitchen.

"Just play along with me, okay, Mum? I want to play a prank on Ron and Harry," Ginny said as she made sure the wig was on straight.

"You really are like Fred and George," Molly sighed.

"Hey, I learn from the best." Ginny winked at her.

A few minutes later, a sleepy redhead and messy dark-haired boy wandered into the kitchen. Ron stopped in his tracks when he saw Ginny sitting at the table and frowned, not recognizing her for a second.

Harry frowned at her. "Ginny?" he asked uncertainly.

Ginny waved to them. "Hey, Harry, Ron! I just got back. I got eliminated from the competition, can you believe that?"

"Ginny, what happened to your hair?" Ron frowned at her as he and Harry took a seat at the table. Molly just shook her head as she served everyone breakfast.

"Oh, do you like it?" Ginny asked brightly as she shook her hair. "Isn't it, like, totally awesome? You know?"

Ron and Harry just stared at her.

"But why is your hair blonde?" Harry asked.

"Because we were in California and everyone is totally blonde over there!" Ginny frowned at Harry. "Don't you like it, Harry?" She looked earnestly at him, trying not to laugh.

"Well, um, I..." Harry suddenly became very interested in his toast and started to devour it.

"Harry's too nice to be a prat," said Ron. "But if you want my honest opinion, you look like shite with blonde hair!"

"Ronald!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.

"Sorry, Mum, but it's true! She looks like a floozy!"

Harry was prepared to dive under the table to dodge any hexes Ginny was prepared to throw Ron's way, but instead she just laughed. "Oh, relax, it's just a wig."

She pulled the blonde coif from her head to reveal her natural red hair.

Harry sighed with relief. "You look more beautiful with your red hair." He blushed when he realized what he said.

Ginny smiled at him. "Thanks, Harry. I know you would never call me a floozy." She glared at her brother.

"Sorry you were eliminated, Gin," said Ron. "Who else is still there? Hermione, of course-"

"And Lavender. Hermione and Lavender are the final two."

Harry laughed. "It's the battle between your girlfriend and your ex, Ron!"

"Well, Fleur might as well just give the crown to Hermione now," said Ron. "We all know she's going to win."

"Ron, the winner of HNTW doesn't win a crown," said Ginny.

Why do all the Weasleys talk in initials?" Harry wondered out loud.

"Huh?" said Ginny.

"Never mind."

"What does the winner get?" Ron asked.

"Just the title of being Hogwarts' Next Top Witch."

"That's all?"

"You can be blasé about some things, Ron, but not about Hogwarts' Next Top Witch! And there's a few galleons thrown in," Ginny added.

"Well, I must say I'm glad you're back," Molly spoke up. "I wasn't a fan of this little contest when I saw you girls in The Daily Prophet, barely wearing anything and groping poor Harry."

Ron snickered. "Yeah, poor Harry!"

Harry kicked him under the table.

"Ow!"

"Do you want me to tell her what you did?" he whispered.

"No, shut up!" Ron hissed.

"I was in the paper?" said Ginny. "Cool! Oh, guess who I met when I was in Sunnydale? Well, I guess it's obvious now that I said that. I met Buffy Summers!"

Harry looked incredulous. "You met Buffy Summers?"

"Yeah." Ginny winked at him. "Jealous, Harry?"

"Why does that name sound familiar?" asked Ron.

"She has her own Muggle TV show," Harry explained.

"Mum, if Hogwarts doesn't reopen, can I move to Sunnydale and go to Sunnydale High?" asked Ginny.

"What? Certainly not!" Molly exclaimed.

"I could help Buffy kill vampires. That was one of our tasks. I didn't win the challenge, Hermione did, but at least I didn't cry like a baby like Cho."

"You were killing vampires?" Molly looked outraged.

"Mum, Buffy is only four months older than me and that's her calling."

"Yes, but it's not yours. I can't believe Fleur had you girls do such a thing." Molly shook her head.

Ginny, finished with her breakfast, wiped her mouth with her napkin and got up. "Guess I better go unpack now."

As she headed upstairs with her luggage, Harry turned to Ron and quietly asked, "You're positive she's not going to find out about Arnold?"

"Relax," Ron assured him. "You know that pygmy puff we got is an exact replica of Arnold."

"What are you two whispering about?" Molly was pointing her wand at Ginny's dirty dishes as they levitated to the sink.

"Nothing, Mum!" Ron said quickly.

A few seconds later they heard the scream.

"RON!!"

"How did she find out so fast?" Ron hissed.

"RON, GET UP HERE! NOW!"

"You're coming with me!" Ron tugged at Harry's t-shirt. "She's less likely to kill me if you're in the room!"

"What on earth is going on?" Molly muttered as Harry and Ron cautiously headed upstairs.

Ron pushed Harry in front of him as they headed towards Ginny's room.

"Why do I have to be in the line of fire?" Harry exclaimed. He could see Ginny in her bedroom, holding the pygmy puff who wasn't Arnold in her hand.

"Oh, Ron, dear brother of mine," she called out in a sweet voice, "could you please come here?"

"Whatever it is you're about to blame me for, I just want you to know that Harry is as much to blame as I am!" Ron said as they neared Ginny's room.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so maybe one of you can tell me what happened to Arnold." She glared at both of them as they stood in her doorframe.

"What are you talking about, Ginny?" Ron squeaked. "You're holding him!"

Ginny held out her palm she was holding the pygmy puff with. "This is NOT Arnold. Arnold was a male. This is a female." She turned the furry creature upside down for proof.

Harry closed his eyes and mentally face palmed himself. He hadn't even thought to check to see if the pygmy puff was the right gender.

"Uh, you see," Ron stuttered, "Harry and I, we were trying out some new magic-"

"Oh, save it!" Ginny snapped. "Tell me what happened to Arnold."

"Meow!"

At that moment, Crookshanks wrapped himself around Harry's ankles, purring loudly. Harry looked guilty down at the cat.

"Oh no!" Ginny cried. "He didn't! How did it happen?"

"It was Harry's fault!" Ron blurted out. "We were cleaning Arnold's cage, then Harry heard some awful Muggle music that Fred and George were playing and he insisted that we stop them. And then when we came back, Crookshanks was sitting on your bed and Arnold was...missing."

"So this all my fault now?" Harry demanded.

"Well, technically, yes," Ron replied. "You were the one who was holding Arnold and you put him on the bed when you heard the Muggle music."

"I didn't know Crookshanks was going to come into the room!"

Ginny closed her eyes for a second, then opened them. Ron imagined she was briefly counting to ten before she spoke again. "Let me get this straight: after Crookshanks ate Arnold, you two decided to get a look-alike and just hope that I didn't notice?"

"Yep, that was pretty much the plan," Ron replied.

"Look, Ginny, we're really sorry," Harry cut in. He stepped into the room and took Ginny's hand. "It was a horrible accident and I wish we could turn back time and-" He stopped abruptly. "Maybe there is something we can do. The Time Turner!" He turned excitedly to Ron.

"Do you think that would work?" Ron asked doubtfully, also taking a tentative step into his sister's room. "And where would we get one?"

"Look, don't worry about it," Ginny said quickly. "I don't want you two going through some complicated time traveling just to save Arnold."

"I truly am sorry, Gin," Harry apologized again, "and if there's any way I can make it up to you-"

He was interrupted by the sound of four loud pops from downstairs. POP! POP! POP! POP!

"Hey, Harry! Harry, where are you?"

Ginny frowned. "Is that Dean Thomas I hear?"

"Yeah." Ron rolled his eyes. "He and Seamus Finnigan started a boy band with Fred and George."

Ginny raised an eyebrow as she placed the pygmy puff back in Arnold's cage. "Well I certainly missed out on a few things while I was gone."

They heard clamoring on the stairs and seconds later the members of The Magic Boys were in Ginny's room.

"Ginny, you're back!" Dean said.

"Yes," she replied.

"Um, about that day on the Quidditch field, you see, I had a few too many butterbeers and I was feeling vulnerable and -"

She waved his words away. "Don't worry about it, Dean."

"Well, anyway..." Dean straightened and turned to Harry. "Harry, I wanted to get your permission to use a song about you."

"About me? Why would you want to write a song about me?" asked Harry.

"Duh," said Fred. "You are The Boy Who Lived. Or have you forgotten that?"

"Our little modest Harry!" George pulled Harry's head under his armpit and rubbed his messy hair with his fist.

"Argh, get off," Harry said.

"I called it The Chosen One of Hogwarts." Dean turned to Fred, George, and Seamus. "Hit it!"

Harry, Ron, and Ginny watched half amused, half flabbergasted as Fred, George, and Seamus began to beatbox and Dean started to sing:

"Now this is the story all about how

his life got flipped, turned upside down

and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there

I'll tell you how he became the Chosen One of a school called Hogwarts.

In Little Whinging, Surrey, born and raised

in a cupboard where he spend most of his days."

"Hang on," Harry said. "That sounds vaguely familiar. Isn't that a theme song from some Muggle TV show?"

"So?" Dean huffed.

"I don't know if I like the idea of a rap song about me. Sorry." Harry shrugged.

"You guys are so weird," Ginny muttered as Ron told them, "Don't quit your day jobs!"

* * *

Hermione and Lavender discussed the possibilities of what their final challenge might be.

"Maybe we'll have some kind of obstacle course that will have us dealing with all the challenges we've done so far," Lavender said. "First we'll have to take a written test, then do a make-over, then play some Quidditch, go on those Witch-Sees..."

"I hope not." Hermione shuddered. "There were plenty of tasks I don't want to do again. Besides, I think it will be something we haven't done before. Maybe some complicated Defense Against the Dark Arts moves."

"Didn't we already do that?" asked Lavender. "Slaying those vampires?"

Hermione shrugged. "Who knows what Fleur has in store for us?"

They soon found out, though, as Fleur knocked on their door moments later. "Bonjour, bonjour!" she greeted the two finalists. "I bet you girls are wondering what your last task eese going to be!"

"We were discussing possibilities," Hermione replied.

"Well, you can guess all you want, but you are never going to guess right!" Fleur was apparently bursting to tell them what their final challenge was going to be.

"Are you going to tell us?" Lavender asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Mais oui," Fleur replied. "For your final challenge you two weel be on ze game show Ze Twenty-Five Zousand Dollar Pyramid! I pulled some strings and got you girls in! Zey are 'aving a teen international tournament and you girls weel be one of ze teams!" She smiled brightly. "Of course, you weel 'ave to pretend you're Muggles, wheech won't be so 'ard for you, 'Ermione."

"You did what?" Hermione exclaimed as Lavender asked, "What's that?"

Fleur ignored Hermione completely. "Eet's a popular Muggle game show 'osted by a delightful lad named Donny Osmond. I'm sure 'Ermione eese familiar weeth ze rules and she can fill you een on zem." She looked at Hermione who nodded.

"Tré s bien. Ze show eese tomorrow. Ze weel ask you where you're from and where you go to school and something interesting about yourself, so make sure you're zinking like a Muggle."

"But what does being on a game show have to do with being a Top Witch?" Hermione blurted out.

"Nothing, really," Fleur replied.

Well, at least she's honest

, Hermione thought.

"I couldn't pass up zis once een a lifetime opportunity for you girls! And besides, eet can at least show 'oo eese a quick zinker and Muggle-savvy, wheech are very important traits for a Top Weetch."

"So whoever wins the game will win the competition?" asked Lavender.

Fleur shook her head. "Non, non, non. Since you two are on ze same team, you weel get ze same points. And Cyra and I are going to go zrough all ze tasks and see 'ow you've done een zose. Don't worry," she added when she saw Lavender's face, "eef you haven't won as many challenges as another person, zat doesn't matter. We evaluate everyzing."

* * *

Early the next morning, Hermione, Lavender, Fleur, and Cyra arrived at the studio where The $25,000 Pyramid was filmed. Hermione had explained the rules to Lavender the night before and they had even had a few practice rounds and Lavender was confident she knew how to play.

They were whisked away to a room to get their make-up done. Hermione noticed a boy who could have been the love child of Harry and Draco. She almost giggled at the thought. He had messy blonde hair and wore wire-rim glasses. Sitting next to him, having powder brushed on the apples of her cheeks, was a girl of Asian descent with shiny black hair that she could almost sit on. They both looked about Hermione's and Lavender's age. They must have been their opponents.

Once everyone was ready, they were ushered out onto the stage where Hermione and Lavender sat on one platform with swiveling chairs and the other two teenagers sat at the platform next to theirs. Lights went on and the studio audience in front of them shushed.

"And in five, four, three, two..one," a man with a clipboard called out.

Donny Osmond ran up on stage, a big grin plastered on his face. "Hello! And welcome to this special addition of The $25,000 Pyramid! I'm your host, Donny Osmond and we've got a great show for you today, folks! Not only is it teen week, but it's also international teen week! Today it's the Americans versus the Brits!"

The audience cheered wildly, most likely for their fellow Yanks.

"Let's meet the Americans, shall we?" Donny walked over to the first podium, looking at his note cards. "Jimmy Faragamo and Reiko Hanoi are both students at John Adams High School in Sacramento, California. Jimmy, you're sixteen and Reiko, you're seventeen, is that right?"

The two teenagers nodded.

Donny consulted his note cards again. "Jimmy, one of your favorite hobbies is making model air planes. Tell us a little more about that."

"Yes." Jimmy poked the center of his glasses with his finger and slid them back up on his face. "I've been making model air planes since I was seven years old. My uncle Rob got me started on it when he gave me my first modeling kit that Christmas. I have since then made 250 model airplanes."

"Wow! That is impressive!" Donny turned towards Reiko. "Reiko, it says here that you are fluent in Japanese."

Reiko said a string of words in Japanese.

"Okay, I don't even know what you just said!" Donny Osmond laughed. "Do any of you guys know what she said?" he asked the audience.

"Nooo!" they chorused.

"I said that my parents grew up in Japan and I lived there until I was three and my parents and grandparents taught me the language," Reiko replied.

"Very remarkable. And that's not an easy language to learn!" Donny started towards the other platform where Hermione and Lavender sat. "And now let's meet our British contestants." He flipped to the next note card. "Lavender Brown and - help me pronounce this, dear. Her-moyne? Her-mee-oni? Hermy-own? Herm-own-ninny?"

"Her-my-oh-nee," Hermione said slowly and clearly, having déjà vu of when Viktor Krum had trouble pronouncing her name when they went to the Yule Ball together.

"Thank you. Lavender Brown and Hermione Granger are students at a private school in Scotland called Hogwarts Academy. Hermione is seventeen and Lavender is sixteen."

They nodded. Back in the greenroom, when Hermione was told to write something interesting about herself and give it to the producer, she had pondered over what to say. She thought about mentioning that both of her parents were dentists, but it wasn't really that interesting, and besides, it was more about her parents than about her. She had considered writing that she was the top of her class, but that seemed a little conceited. Just at the last second, she knew what she wanted to write.

"Hermione, this is a very interesting fact about you," Donny continued. "You were best friends with your current boyfriend and even before you became friends, you didn't get along?"

"No, we had our differences, but something happened and we bonded over it." She knew she couldn't go into details about the troll from first year.

Luckily there wasn't much time and Donny had turned to Lavender. "Well, this is interesting. Lavender, you used to date Hermione's boyfriend."

"Yes," Lavender replied coldly. "Until he dumped me for her!" She glared at Hermione.

Donny laughed nervously. "Well, that's something you don't see everyday, is it folks? Two girls who dated the same guy competing together on The $25,000 Pyramid."

The audience chuckled.

"We'll start the game right after this break!"

"And cut to commercial!" the director called.

Everyone got settled into position.

"And we're back in five, four three, two-"

The theme song started playing.

"Welcome back!" Donny said, beaming into the camera. "And it's time to start the game. Jimmy and Reiko, you're going to be the first to play. Your categories are Things That Start With the Letter T, Things That are Red, Magical and Mythical Creatures, Musical Instruments, The Periodic Table, and Blast From the Past." As he read each one, there was a ding! as a box turned around to reveal the name he had just read.

The American team opted for Musical Instruments. Reiko would be giving the clues while Jimmy tried to answer them.

"Remember, you have thirty seconds to get all seven right," Donny reminded them. "Time on the clock, please."

The clock started and the game began. Lavender watched closely to make sure she really did understand the game. By the end of thirty second, they had gotten six right.

"The one you missed was a harpsichord," Donny told Jimmy. "Harpsichord. But six isn't a bad start. Now it's time for our British team to play."

It was already decided that Hermione would be the first to read the clues and Lavender try to guess them. She knew immediately which category they wanted. "We'll take Magical and Mythical Creatures."

The clock started and the first word to appear before Hermione on the screen in front of her was "unicorn."

"Okay, this is usually all white-"

"Unicorn!" Lavender shrieked.

"Yes." The next word to appear was "giant." "This is a very tall person, usually lives deep in the forest-"

"Hagrid!" Lavender shouted. "Uh, I mean a giant," she said quickly.

"Right." Hermione would have given her a sharp look, except for the fact that they were on a time limit. The next word was "pegasus." "This is a flying creature-"

"Hippogriff!" Lavender cried.

"No, without wings it would be a horse."

"Oh, pegasus."

Another ding! sounded. The next word to appear was "leprechaun." "This is a small creature with almost human characteristics-"

"A house elf!" Lavender said confidently.

"No, they're usually associated with rainbows."

"Oh, what do you call them? Leprechaun!"

"Yes." Hermione had to refrain from rolling her eyes when the next word popped up. "Half-human, half-horse."

"Firenze." Lavender sighed dreamily. "Um, I mean a centaur."

Hermione took a quick look at the clock. Fifteen seconds and two more words to go. The next word was "dragon." "It's really big, breathes fire -"

"A Hungarian Horntail!" Lavender cried. Hermione shook her head. "Uh, a Norwegian Ridgeback? Chinese Fireball?" The sound effect indicating she had guessed right still hadn't dinged. "Common Welsh Green?" Lavender kept guessing. "Swedish Short-Snout?"

"What are they?" Hermione hissed.

"Oh." Lavender laughed, feeling silly. "Dragons!"

The ding! went off. The last word to appear was "Gollum." Hermione knew there was no way Lavender would ever get this. She wouldn't even know what to say, it had been awhile since she last read The Lord of the Rings. But before she could open her mouth, the buzzer went off. Lavender has spent the last of their precious seconds trying to guess the last one.

"And we're tied," Donny said. "Both teams now have six points. And it's back to the Americans."

This time Jimmy rattled off clues while Reiko tried to guess them. They had picked The Periodic Table and didn't do so well, only getting one right.

"Let's see how well our British team does with their next round," Donny said, speaking into the camera as he went over to Lavender, who would now be giving the clues, and Hermione, who would be trying to guess what they were. "Which category would you like?"

"Blast From the Past!" Lavender blurted out. "That sounds like fun!"

Donny laughed. "It sure does! Especially if you love the '80s. All the clues you give your partner are associated with the '80s."

Merlin help me,

Hermione though. She prayed that Lavender knew enough about that decade from her Muggle cousin. As if Lavender was reading her mind, she gave Hermione a little wink before the clock started.

"Uh...okay, she's a very famous Mug- uh, I mean she's a famous British singer."

"Madonna!" Hermione cried as the ding! sounded, not even bothering to mention that Madonna wasn't British.

"Oh, I've heard of this. It's like a square toy thingy-"

"Rubik's Cube!"

"I think this is a movie about a duck-"

A loud buzzer went off.

"Sorry, Lavender, that doesn't count, you said one of the words in the clue," Donny said. "But the clock is still running!"

"Um, okay...oh, my cousin had one of these! You put these pegs and made designs."

"Lite-Brite!" Hermione shouted.

"This is a movie, about a group of kids, very popular-"

"The Goonies?" Hermione guessed.

Lavender shook her head. "No, the kids are older, about our age."

"The Breakfast Club

!"

Lavender nodded, beginning to speak faster. "This is what people used for their hair-"

The buzzer went off indicating the time had ended.

"Good round you two," Donny told them. "Lavender and Hermione are now in the lead with ten points and Jimmy and Reiko have seven points. Can they catch up to them? Stay tuned after this break!" He pointed his finger at the camera.

"How do you know so much about the '80s?" asked Hermione.

"My cousin," Lavender explained. "She was born in 1975 and practically lived for the '80s." She shrugged. "I guess we got lucky."

They weren't so lucky the next round. The American team chose Things That are Red for their final category and got all of them right, giving them a total of 14 points. All Hermione and Lavender needed were five more points to take them to the Winner's Circle. They were left with the last category, Things That Start With the Letter T with Hermione giving the clues, and unfortunately Lavender had no idea what a tractor, telegram, or tyrannosaurus rex was. She had never heard of Tennessee and didn't know what transsexual meant. The only word she did get right was "tea leaves" because Hermione had used the key word "divination."

"I'm sorry," Donny said after the buzzer sounded. "You only got one right and that gives you a total of eleven points, which means that Jimmy and Reiko are going to the Winner's Circle!"

Since Hermione and Lavender were no longed needed in the studio, they were ushered out with a parting gift of a t-shirt and hat.

"Well, I guess we'll see who's going to be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch later this evening," Lavender said to Hermione who nodded.

"May the best witch win," she answered.

* * *

"Allo, and welcome to ze final judging," Fleur said to Hermione and Lavender as they stood before the her and Cyra. "You two 'ave come a long way, but zere can only be one winner."

"One winner," Cyra whispered.

"Because we know you ze best, zere weel be no guest judges," Fleur continued. "We 'ave been weeth you zroughout zis competition and we are ze ones 'oo know you best."

"We're practically your best girlfriends!" Cyra exclaimed.

"We're going to be evaluating all of ze challenges you 'ave participated een seence day one, so we'll start weeth ze first one. Zis was when you had to take a test about 'Ogwarts' 'istory. 'Ermione, unsurprisingly, you got all ze answers right. Lavender, you scored 'igh enough zat I am confident you 'ave somewhat paid attention in your 'Istory of Magic classes.

"Your next challenge was ze make-over. "Now, 'Ermione, while you won zat challenge, we were equally impressed weeth you, Lavender. You really know 'ow to take care of your new 'air and you 'ave always looked fantastic at each judging. 'Ermione, you can be a little...stiff een zee way you dress sometimes. Remember, a Top Weetch eese a trend-setter. She eese setting an example of Cyra and myself as well.

"Ze zird task involved ze nonverbal task. 'Ermione, you did ze best, but Lavender, you also did very well and I zink you could get better eef you practiced even more. Zen you 'ad ze next challenge. Now, 'Ermione, ze Quidditch challenge was probably your worst one."

Hermione nodded in agreement. "I'm not very athletic."

"Zat's okay, as long as a Top Weetch eese enthusiastic about ze sport," Fleur said.

I'm not that either

, Hermione thought.

"Lavender, you weren't ze best player out zere either," Fleur went on, "but at least you went up 'igher in ze air and you stayed een ze game longer zan 'Ermione and you could easily catch ze balls zat were zrown at you."

"Well, I did take Ballet on a Broom," Lavender said, trying not to look smugly at Hermione.

"Ze challenge after zat was when you 'ad to perform at ze Magic Shack. Lavender, you won zat challenge. A Top Weetch must be spontaneous, and you are very spontaneous."

Lavender smiled.

"Hermione, you looked a little nervous up there on stage," Cyra said.

"I was," Hermione replied, hoping she didn't sound snippy.

"Zen we 'ad ze Weetch-Sees 'Ermione, you won ze challenge weeth seven points, ze most out of anybody else. Lavender, you were een ze bottom two zat week weeth only four points. You were lucky to stay een zat week since Luna only got zree points."

Lavender cast her eyes down. This time Hermione found it difficult not to be smug.

"Ze next challenge - and probably your most difficult - eese when you helped slay vampires een Sunnydale weeth Buffy Summers. She was very impressed weeth you, 'Ermione. She said you were a quick learner. Lavender, you weren't too shabby yourself. You did manage to kill two vampires, one weeth some 'elp, but not an easy feat, nevertheless.

"Ze next task wasn't really a challenge, I 'ad a one-on-one weeth each of you Both of you 'ad great zings to say. Lavender, I especially liked 'ow you said you wanted to be a role model for ozzer young weetches and I was very flattered zat you zink of me as a role model."

Ah, so that's why she won that challenge,

thought Hermione.

"'Ermione, you are a very intelligent weetch and eet clearly shows. I admire you for wanting to show people what you can do on your own and not relying on knowing ze great 'Arry Potter. And finally, your last challenge was just for fun, somezing you two can remember for ze rest of your lives," Fleur finished.

Hermione doubted she wouldn't even remember being on The $25,000 Pyramid five months from now, but decided to keep that piece of information to herself.

"You both did very well considering the circumstances," Cyra agreed.

"Now, eef you excuse us, Cyra and I 'ave to deliberate. Eet eese very vital to go over every piece of information, so eef you weel please wait outside until you are called back een and zen we weel announce 'oo weel be 'Ogwarts'. Next. Top. Weetch." Fleur blinked as she articulated each word.

Hermione and Lavender nodded and exited the Judging Room.

* * *

"We should make a cake for Hermione," Ginny said to Ron and Harry as they helped Molly clear the table after dinner. "She's coming home tomorrow. And she'll be wearing the crown declaring her Hogwarts' Next Top Witch!"

"I thought you said the winner doesn't win a crown." Ron grinned.

"Well, metaphorically speaking, of course." Ginny grinned back.

"A cake is a great idea, Gin," Harry said. "We could also make a banner to hang up. It could say "Congratulations, Hermione!" Or "Congratulations on becoming Hogwarts' Next Top Witch, Hermione!"

"I like the way you think, Potter," said Ginny.

"You should really be in the final two, Ginny," said Harry. "Words can't express how wrong it is that you're not there, but Lavender still is."

"True," agreed Ginny, "but the way I see it, it's a blessing that I'm still not in the competition."

"It is?" said Ron. "Why?"

"Because then who would you root for, dear brother? Your girlfriend or your favorite sibling of all time?" Ginny grinned.

"Hmm, that's a tough one, let me think about it," Ron replied in mock pondering.

* * *

After fifteen minutes of waiting, Hermione and Lavender were summoned back into the Judging Room.

"Welcome back," Cyra greeted the girls. She was smiling, but Fleur was wearing a solemn expression, her hands folded on the table in front of her.

"Cyra and I 'ave been discussing zis very meticulously," she said, as though she were talking to a council of important world leaders instead of two teenaged girls, "and we both agree zat ze decision was very difficult. While you both 'ave ze zest and qualifications to be 'Ogwarts' Next Top Weetch, remember zat zere eese only one winner."

Lavender took a deep breath.

"'Ermione, zere eese no doubt you are one of ze smartest weetches to ever attend 'Ogwarts', eef not ze smartest one 'oo 'as ever attended 'Ogwarts'! And eef zis was 'Ogwarts' Smartest Weetch, you would no doubt win zat title. You won an impressive five challenges. 'Owever, just being a bright weetch eesn't everzing. You lack self confidence. Lavender, you 'ave a lot of zat and I 'ave loved your enthusiasm zroughout ze competition. While you are a smart girl, you could stand to brush up on your skeels." Fleur produced a crystal ball. "Een ten seconds, ze face of 'Ogwarts' Next Top Weetch will appear een zis orb."

A few seconds later, a blob started to appear and that blob quickly coagulated into an image of Lavender.

"Lavender, congratulations, you are 'Ogwarts' Next Top Weetch!" Fleur announced with a huge smile.

"REALLY!" screamed Lavender. "I WON?"

Fleur nodded.

"I WON! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"Me neither," Hermione muttered. Everyone had thought she would win, even Lavender had assumed Hermione would win.

"Lavender, you emulate what a Top Weetch should be. You 'ave ze drive, ze passion, ze enthusasim, ze want to make ze magical world a better place for weetches!"

Lavender turned and hugged Hermione. She was crying. Hermione patted her back. "Congratulations, Lavender."

* * *

"Congratulations!"

As soon as Hermione entered the Burrow, Ron, Harry, and Ginny had leapt in front of her, huge smiles on all of their faces. There were red and gold balloons and streamers scattered behind them. A banner hung across the room with the words "Hermione is Hogwarts' Next Top Witch!" no doubt created moments before her arrival with a magic paintbrush, although somebody forgot to use a drying spell for gold paint was dripping down the letters. Ginny was holding a chocolate cake that had "Congratulations, Hermione!" written in red icing.

"Welcome back, Hermione." Ron leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek.

"Wow, you guys did all this for me?" Hermione asked.

"Of course!" said Harry. "We wanted to give you a proper greeting. So how does it feel to be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch?"

"I don't know," Hermione said as she pushed past Ron and Harry, "why don't you ask her?" She plopped down onto the middle cushion of the couch.

Ron, Harry, and Ginny swiveled around to face her, the smiles on their faces replaced by completely different expressions: confusion for Ginny, shock for Harry, and outrage for Ron.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"I didn't win," Hermione replied simply. "Lavender did."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Ron.

"But how?" said Ginny.

Hermione shrugged. "That's just the way it is, I guess."

"'That's just the way it is'?" Harry repeated. "Hermione, you are one of the most - no, scratch that - you ARE the most competitive person I know. And all you have to say is, 'That's just the way it is'?"

"Oh, I was upset at first, and I still am a little," Hermione admitted. "But I'm not that surprised. Fleur told me that if it were Hogwarts' Smartest Witch, I'd win that without any question. Lavender was the girl she was looking for to win the competition. Fleur liked that she was the most enthusiastic about it. And you know how large Fleur's ego is." Hermione looked at Ginny. "When we had the one-on-ones, Lavender told Fleur that she was her role model."

"I knew it!" Ginny cried. She glanced down at the cake and said, "I'm going to fix this"

and headed to the kitchen.

Harry and Ron each took a seat on either side of Hermione

"So Lavender won because she sucked up to Fleur?" said Harry.

"Well, that was part of it," Hermione replied.

"I still think it's bullocks," Ron grumbled as Hermione squeezed his hand.

"Think of it this way," said Harry. "Anyone can be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch, but not anyone can defeat the Dark Lord!"

"But that's not true, Harry," Hermione said, frowning at him. "There can only be one winner of Hogwarts' Next Top Witch as Fleur has reiterated again and again.And I'm not the only one helping you to deafeat You-Know-Who, you know. You have Ron and Ginny and the rest of the Weasleys, Remus and Tonks, the Order..."

"Okay, okay, okay, I know!" Harry interrupted her. "I was only trying to make you feel better."

Hermione smiled. "I'm sorry, I know you were. Tell you what: I'll give you a do-over."

"Thank you." Harry cleared his throat. "As I was saying, anyone can be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch, but not anyone can defeat the Dark Lord, right?" He held up his hand.

"Right," Hermione replied with a grin as she gave him a high-five.

* * *

Where is the moment when needed the most?

:::clip of all ten girls grumbling as they hand their wands over to Fleur:::

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

:::clip of the girls gasping in horror as they realize Professor Crunk is one of their judges:::

You tell me your blue sky's fade to grey

:::clip of Susan looking annoyed as Luna opens Horace Hufflepuff's cell:::

You tell me your passion's gone away

:::clip of Ginny screaming "Shut up!" to Susan on the bus:::

And I don't need no carryin' on

:::clip of Susan being the first girl eliminated from the competition:::

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

:::clip of Hermione looking indignant at the idea of getting a make-over:::

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

:::clip of Lavender and Pansy screaming from the chemicals being put into their hair:::

You tell me your life's been way off line

:::clip of Hermione looking revolted as Ginny and Luna show her a pink hoodie and rainbow belt she should try on:::

You're falling to pieces everytime

:::clip of Ginny throwing a remote at Pansy while playing Truth or Dare:::

And I don't need no carryin' on

:::clip of Parvati being the second girl eliminated from the competition:::

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down

:::clip of Pansy finding her mutilated brownies and freaking out:::

You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie

:::clip of Pansy accusing Ginny of writing in her brownies and Ginny screaming back:::

You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie

:::clip of Cho pointing to RESPEITO on her shirt:::

You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

:::clip of Romilda being the third girl eliminated from the competition:::

Well you need a blue sky holiday

:::clip of Cho looking incredulously at Ginny's Gushi Chiaki:::

The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

:::clip of Hermione being the first eliminated from Quidditch Dodgeball:::

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around

:::clip of Dean Thomas falling off the ledge of the commentator's box:::

You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride

:::clip of The Sultans of Swing victoriously celebrating their win over The Black Mambas:::

You had a bad day
The camera don't lie

:::clip of Padma being the fourth girl eliminated from the competition:::

You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

:::clip of Pansy looking offended at being the elephant for the interpretive dance exercise:::

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing it turns out wrong

:::clip of Cho trying to get across the room as a snake during the interpretive dance exercise:::

You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

:::clip of Hermione spotting Ron and Harry at the Magic Shack:::

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

:::clip of Lavender giving Ron a lap dance:::

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down

:::clip of Pansy being screamed at by Fleur and being the fifth girl eliminated from the competition:::

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

:::clip of Hermione and Lavender both trying to get to Transfigurations at the same time

for the Witch-Sees:::

You say you don't know

:::clip of Ginny just barely beating Cho to Charms for the Witch-Sees:::

You tell me don't lie

::clip of Hagrid telling Luna to leave his cabin during the Witch-Sees:::

You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day

:::clip of Luna being the sixth girl eliminated from the competition:::

You see what you like
And how does it feel for one more time

:::clip of Cho in slow motion being captured by a vampire:::

You had a bad day

:::clip of Cho tossing holy water at a vampire, but missing:::

You had a bad day

:::clip of Cho being the seventh girl eliminated from the competition::::

Had a bad day

:::clip of Ginny being the eight girl eliminated from the competition:::

Had a bad day

:::clip of Hermione being the ninth girl eliminated from the competition::

THE END