If In The End

Chapter One

Sirius Black had just sprinkled brown sugar over his oatmeal when a heap of white feathers collapsed on his kitchen table. "Long flight, Hedwig?' he said, barely looking up. The owl hooted softly. Sirius spooned a little oatmeal into a saucer and gave it to her. As she ate, he took the small scroll of parchment off her leg.

Dear Sirius,

How are you? I'm assuming that you're at Professor Lupin's right now but if you're not I'm sure Hedwig will find you. I just got an owl from Hermione...it sounds like her visit with Krum is going wonderfully. News from Ron too- his brother Bill is getting married to this Egyptian witch he met at work. Her family is wealthy, apparently, and they've paid for Ron and his family to fly out for the wedding. Unfortunately the Egyptian wizards are only paying for the family, and I can't attend. Dudley reckons he'll have some friends of his from Smeltings over the week before school starts, so I was wondering, do you suppose I could spend that week with you? I mean, if it's convienent and everything. I hope you've managed to contact "the old crowd" and that all of Dumbledore's plans are going right.

Harry

Sirius looked up from the parchment and saw that Hedwig was fast asleep on the table. He finished his oatmeal, turned into a dog, and walked into the bedroom.

Remus Lupin was curled up on the bed...or, rather, Remus Lupin in wolf form was curled up on the bed. The moon had become full the night before.

Sirius put two paws up on the bed and barked softly to wake up Remus, who opened one sleepy eye. Sirius nuzzled him until he was fully awake.

An owl from Harry just came,

said Sirius, his voice coming out as a series of quiet barks that only he and Remus could understand. He wants to stay with us next week.

Remus yawned. And for that you wake me up early on the morning after my transformation?

Well, I expect he'd like the owl back right away and I have to go to work.

Tell him he can come, of course, said Remus, his eyes fluttering sleepily. Have a good day at work. The Polyjuice Potion's on the kitchen counter.

Sirius licked Remus goodbye, turned back into a man, and headed for the kitchen. Hedwig had woken up, and cocked her head at him. "You're coming to work with me, just as soon as I take this potion," said Sirius.

He added a few of Remus's hairs into the potion and gulped it down. It tasted sweet, just like Remus's mouth. It's a good thing I always got high marks in Potions, though Sirius, because between this and the Wolfsbane Potion, Remus would go mad. He's always hated the things. I remember in our fifth year when we were working on poison remedies and Proffessor Brew- But he snapped out of his memories when he realized that his hair was turning brown with gray streaks.

On his way out the door, Sirius glanced at himself in the mirror. He was glad to see that it looked like Remus had gained a few pounds.

After a ten minute walk, Sirius stopped at a squat brown building whose sign read Tellery Public Library. Taking out his wand, he tapped the letter B.

Suddenly he was in a bustling, busy room filled with books. "Ah, Remus!" cried the witch at the front counter. "I've got loads of books for you to reshelve....got a letter to write, have you?" she asked, glancing at Hedwig. "Well, you can do that at lunch."

After he left Hogwarts, Remus Lupin had moved to the village of Tellery and gotten a job at the Tellery Magical Library. Just as he had run out of excuses for why he was ill every month, Sirius had arrived and offered to go to work in his stead on the days when the moon was full. Although Tellery had five wizarding households, Remus was the only one who knew Sirius was there.

At lunch break, Sirius got a quill and parchment and began to draft his letter to Harry.

Chapter Two

Dear Harry,

Yes, I'm at Remus's, and yes, you are welcome to visit. I think Mr. Weasley would put your fireplace on the Floo network again , so you could get to

He almost wrote "our", but decided on "Remus's".

Remus's house that way. Say "720 Anise Street" as you step into the fire. Yes, I've gotten in touch with the old crowd, and that's all I'll say on the subject right now. I'm glad to hear that Ron and Hermione are having good summers, and tell Ron to tell Bill I said congratulations.

He paused and stared at the end of his quill, trying to think of what to say next. Or, rather, how to say it.

Harry, there's something I have to tell you. I don't know how you'll take this, so you might want to sit down. You know that Remus and I were friends at Hogwarts. Well, he's more than just my friend. Since the beginning of the summer, he's also been my lover.

We fancied each other back when we were in school, but we were too scared and shy to do anything about it. Your father knew, of course, I was always horrible at hiding things from him. "Padfoot," he used to say, "will you two just get over it and snog already? You could cut the tension in this dormitory with a knife." He was so happy with your mother, and he wanted Remus and me to be happy too.

The Marauders drifted a little when we left Hogwarts. Your father had just gotten married, and you know that Remus and I began to suspect each other of being spies for Voldemort. Then, of course, I spent all those years in Azkaban.

If there's anything good that came out of my time there, it was my realization that life is short. With that in mind, I asked Remus if we could pick up where we left off.

I hope you take this well, and still want to visit next week.

Sirius

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Dursleys had gone off to buy Dudley school supplies, and Harry was in the house alone. He'd received Sirius's letter four days ago, and in that time he'd spoken with Ron on the telephone and gotten an owl from Hermione.

Mr. Weasley had bought a Muggle cell phone, and Ron occasionally called Harry on it. He'd called the day after Hedwig returned.

"Sirius? Really?!" he had exclaimed.

"Yes, Sirius, really," Harry had said.

"Him and Professor Lupin... wow. Neither of them really seems the type."

"Well, not all gay men go around in women's clothes, you know," Harry had retorted.

But after the initial shock, Ron had taken it quite well. Harry picked up Hermione's letter and read it again.

Dear Harry,

Well, really, I don't see what all the fuss is about. There's been lots of gay witches and wizards before....I counted seventeen in Hogwarts, A History, and there were probably more who weren't open about it. Tell Sirius and Professor Lupin that I'm glad they're happy.

Viktor says to tell you hello and that he hopes you're having a good summer. We're having a wonderful time, and I've been to three Quidditch matches- Bulgaris vs. Sweden, Bulgaria vs. France, and Bulgaria vs. Spain. They lost to Spain but beat the other two.

Love from Hermione

Harry pulled out his quill and started to write.

Dear Sirius,

I don't mind if you and Professor Lupin are lovers. I hope it's all right that I told Ron and Hermione. Ron's fine with it and Hermione says she's glad the two of you are happy. OF COURSE I still want to visit.

Harry

Chapter Three

Remus was pouring himself a cup of tea when Harry climbed out of the fireplace. He was about an inch taller that Remus remembered him and his face looked more adult. "Harry!" he exclaimed, "Good to see you. Would you like some tea?'

"Good to see you too," said Harry, smiling nervously. "Yes, I'll have some tea, Profess-"

"You can call me Remus, Harry," said the other man, smiling warmly. "Sirius!" he called, "Harry's here!"

Through the door came Harry's godfather, looking happier than Harry had even seen him. But that wasn't all that was different. "You've had your ear pierced!" Harry exclaimed.

"Remus did it for me," said Sirius, fingering the small silver hoop in his ear. He sat across the table from Remus and Harry took the seat between them.

"So," said Sirius, as Remus poured a cup of tea for Harry, "how's the summer been going?"

"Horrible. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon added on to the house, and now they have room to throw all these huge parties all the time. Of course, I'm under strict orders to stay in my room, which is all right because I can get my homework done. Snape's the only teacher who gave any, though- four rolls of parchment on sleeping potions."

"Leave it to Severus to worry about summer homework when Voldemort's risen again," said Remus.

"Um," said Harry, "Could I ask you two something?"

"Certainly," said Sirius.

"What exactly is it that Dumbledore's having Snape do? And what are you two-"

"I'm afraid we can't tell you that, Harry," said Remus gravely. "Voldemort and his followers could do all sorts of horrible spells to make you tell them, if they ever captured you. It's better you don't know."

An ominous silence fell over the room. Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. "Well, we'd better all be getting to bed," said Sirius, rising from his chair. "I'll show you your room, Harry." He picked up Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage and proceeded into the hallway.

Harry followed him up a winding staircase. The walls were covered with moving photographs. Many had people in them he didn't recognize, but one caught his eye. The photograph had been taken in the Gryffindor common room. Standing in front of one of the tables were four boys. All four had mischevous looks in their eyes. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," Harry whispered.

Peter Pettigrew, when he was in school, had been a short round boy. In this picture he stood a little apart from the others and looked rather uncomfortable.

Next to him was James Potter. His hands were on his head, trying to get his hair to lie down flat.

Next to him were Remus and Sirius. They were looking at each other apprehensively. Remus reached out a hand and touched Sirius's shoulder, but Sirius pulled away.

"You fool," whispered Sirius, "you don't know what you're missing." He stared for another second, and then blinked. "Come on, Harry."

A few stairs up was a photo of Remus and Sirius. It had been taken very recently, because Harry could see the hoop in Sirius's ear. The two of them were kissing passionately. Sirius's hand was on Remus's shoulder.

"Does it bother you," asked Sirius quietly. Harry thought for a second.

"No," he answered truthfully. "I mean, I'm not used to it yet, but I don't think it's wrong or anything." He paused. "You know, Sirius, I was thinking...if your name is cleared and I get to live with you, I'll be living with Remus too, right?"

"That's right. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course!" said Harry. "If I could live with anyone, it would be with you. Or else maybe the Weasleys," he added, "but they've got enough people in their house already."

"I'm honored to hear that," said Sirius quietly. "Now we'd better keep going, or we'll never get any sleep."

At the top of the stairs was small room with a wardrobe and a bed. All of it looked quite old, but Harry didn't mind. Next to the bed was a nightstand with another picture on it. "Remus found that for you," said Sirius. "It's yours to keep." Harry sat down and picked up the picture.

His mother was sitting in a rocking chair. In her arms was a baby, so new he was still red. The baby had tufty hair and was fast asleep. Standing behind the rocking chair was his father. He was leaning down to kiss Lily's cheek, and she smiled, her eyes wet with tears. Harry realized some were forming in his own.

"Sirius," he said, his eyes still fixed on the photograph, "I don't think I know how to thank you and Remus."

He felt Sirius's hand rest on his back. "That's all right, Harry." His hand squeezed. "Now get some sleep." Harry heard the door close, and Sirius was gone.

Chapter Four

Remus was lying in bed, wearing blue pajama bottoms and nothing else. In the soft candlelight, Sirius slipped into his own night things and got into bed next to his lover. He rested his head on Remus's chest and sighed.

"How's he doing?" asked Remus, stroking Sirius's hair.

"Fine. You should have seen him when he saw the photograph. He told me he didn't know how to thank us."

They lay silently for a while, and then Remus sat up a little to blow out the candle. Sirius turned over and faced his lover.

They gazed into each other's eyes for a second, and then both men reached out their arms and held each other. "Remus," said Sirius in a trembling voice, "you know, when I was in Azkaban, I could hold on to some happy memories longer than others, because they were stronger. The last memories the Dementors took from me were all the times I spent with you." Remus felt Sirius's tears fall on his shoulder. After a few minutes, Remus felt Sirius's body relax, and he knew his lover was asleep.

Remus awoke with a start to the sound of screams. His heart leapt to his throat, and he began to shake Sirius awake. "Sirius, wake up love, it's all right, oh God..."

Sirius's eyes flew open, and he began to sob. Remus held him, wishing desperately that he could hold Sirius forever and no harm could ever come to him.

"I was dreaming that I...I was back in Azkaban, and the Dementors...'

Remus took Sirius's wand off the nightstand. Sirius grabbed it from him. "Expecto Patronus." Silver flowed from the wand's tip.

Remus handed Sirius one of the chocolate bars the two always kept on hand. Sirius devoured it as though he hadn't eaten in weeks.

"What's happened?" said a voice from across the room. Both men looked up and saw Harry standing in the doorway. "I heard screams and..."

"Come in, Harry," said Remus, smiling a tense smile. "I'm afraid Sirius had a nightmare."

"Sit down," said Sirius, patting the corner of the bed. Harry sat. "The dreams are getting stronger...ever since Voldemort became alive again, they're much more vivid."

All three of them sat there silently- Remus with his arms around Sirius and Harry at the edge of the bed looking uncertain and apprehensive. "We're doing all we can to fight him, love," said Remus. "He has been conquered before, he can be conquered again."

"That's right, Sirius," said Harry. Remus could tell the boy wanted to be comforting but wasn't quite sure what to say.

Sirius looked up. There was pure determination in his eyes. "Even if Voldemort wins-"

"Don't even think that, Sirius-"

"Let me finish, Remus. Even if Voldemort wins, I will die a happy man. Even if my name isn't cleared and even if I never have the chance to fully live the life I want. I will be happy because the two people who I care the most about-" He looked at Remus and then Harry "will know the truth and know that I love them." Harry reached over and took Sirius's hand. I think I'll die happy too, Harry thought. Because even if I never get to live with them, I'll know I have a family who loves me.

The End