You Don't See Me

CHAPTER FOUR: The Hardest Thing

I almost spat out my hot chocolate. `So that was Harry´s announcement?´ I thought to myself. Unfortunately, it shocked the wits out of me as well. If it weren´t for my family, I might´ve rolled my eyes right there and then. I looked around. Everyone at the table - except for my parents - was choking on their food as well upon hearing Harry´s words. It took us all a good few minutes before we could digest Harry´s message. Most of my family took it rather well. But Ron, Hermione and I were quite the opposite.

"You´ve really lost it this time, Harry!" Hermione blurted out. We had just finished breakfast then, and the four of us were seated at a bench in the garden.

"Getting hitched so soon? After only nine months?" Ron scoffed. From his reaction, it was obvious that my brother didn´t know of Harry´s plan. He was just as shocked as we were... too shocked if I may add. He couldn´t believe Harry kept that plan a secret from him.

"It was a mutual decision," Harry stated. "Cho and I decided the right time has come for us to settle down." "Settle down, my arse!" Ron angrily spat. "Harry, think twice okay? You´re still nineteen... great things are still waiting for you out there. You don´t want to get married, trust me."

But Harry wouldn´t listen to any of our objections. If there was one word that could describe Harry perfectly, stubborn would be it. Once he set his mind on something, no amount of persuasion could make him back out. I could only stare at him right then. He really had no clue how much he hurt me with that announcement. It dashed all my hopes of ever ending up with him someday. My little dream has finally come to an end.

"Gin, a little support here please?" Harry pleaded.

"Huh? Me?" I snapped back into reality. Harry was asking me to support his decision to marry Cho Chang? Talk about insensitivity. I think Harry must´ve made it a trait of his during those ten months we didn´t see each other.

"Don´t involve me in this, Harry. You´ve made your choice." I missed those times when Harry would run to me for support whenever Ron and Hermione ganged up on him. I was his pillar of strength then, but I doubt if I still am right now.

"Gin, please?" he asked again, pleading.

"Oh what do you want me to do, Harry?!? Flash my best smile and say that I´m happy for you and your bride-to-be even though I´m just as shocked as they are?" I pointed to Ron and Hermione.

Blood rushed through my veins. I was already losing my temper, in addition to the fact that I was appalled by Harry´s display of insensitivity. I couldn´t say anything more. My throat swelled. My eyes stung with fresh tears, and my lips started to tremble. I couldn´t believe we were talking this way. Harry had really changed, and he was more distant than he was when I was hundreds of miles away at Hogwarts. My brother and Hermione eyed me closely. My facial expression clearly gave me away. I wasn´t taking it well. At that moment, all I knew was I had to get out of there before I embarrassed myself - and my family - any more.

I headed upstairs to my room and almost bumped into Mum at the staircase. Luckily, she was too busy bringing some sheets into Ron´s room to press for details on why I was acting strangely. She had absolutely no idea her daughter was seconds away from total disintegration. The truth was, I was simply on the verge of a major self-pity fest. I was too exhausted to explain what was wrong and too exhausted to pretend everything was fine.

Pillow. That was all I wanted. A big, fluffy pillow to hug. I was trembling by the time I reached the last step to where my room was. The second I reached it, I flopped down on my bed and cried. My breakdown went on for a few minutes until...

"Gin?"

I lifted my head and saw Hermione hovering over me, a look of concern creasing her features. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Never been worse," I groaned and buried my face in the pillow.

"Ron asked me to come after you. He was concerned about why you suddenly ran out on us down there," Hermione explained, pushing her bushy hair behind her ears and crossing her arms over her chest.

"And Harry?" There I was again, still curious on his reaction.

"Honestly Gin, he´s much more concerned with planning that upcoming wedding of his right now than dealing with our reactions," Hermione mumbled. "He´s still pleading his case with Ron downstairs. You know, I really feel guilty about this whole thing. I wish I´d never encouraged you in that crush you had on him."

"It´s not your fault," I said softly. "I got myself into this predicament. I was a fool to think he would actually notice me after all these years." My voice broke, and a new round of tears streamed down my face.

Just then, Hermione leaned towards the bed and added, "You know, you could always look out on the bright side."

I raised my head and narrowed my eyes at her. "Bright side?"

"At least you´re now free to explore other things. See the world and marvel at its beauty," Hermione quipped. "This is the real world now, Gin. Away from the confines of Hogwarts. Time to establish your mark with whatever is it you´re good at." Hermione was really good at pep talk, and it boosted my ego as usual.

"Yeah, you´re right," I replied, sitting up and pushing my tangled hair out of my eyes. "I´m not wallowing over Harry Potter anymore. It´s time for little Ginny Weasley to get a life this time." I boldly said.

"That´s the spirit!" Hermione stood up and began to rummage through my closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Finding you something suitable to wear," she replied. "The two of us are going to Ottery St. Catchpole to unwind. You´ve done enough wallowing for today," she explained. "Besides, you´ve still got a party to prepare for tomorrow."

Yeah, the party. I almost forgot. My broken heart almost got in the way of one joyous occasion I was supposed to share with my family. I had to shape up that instant and went to help Hermione with the wardrobe decision.

****

By the time we got back home, Ron and Harry were chummy once again and I knew that my brother had finally accepted his best friend´s decision. Ron never stayed angry with Harry for long. Both of them knew each other´s company was far too precious to lose over petty arguments. Hermione and I sighed, it looked like we had no choice but to follow suit. As Ron helped Hermione with the stuff we bought, Harry moved towards me. I had to face him now, and get this over and done with.

"Hey, Ginny!" he called out. "Just the person I was looking for."

"And why would that be?" I asked him, maintaining my cool attitude.

"You still angry at me? C´mon Gin. How many times do I have to apologize?" he pleaded with me.

"Look. I´m sorry too if I´ve been a little cranky today." I explained. "I must´ve got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." I knew I sounded stupid, but I didn´t care. Might as well go through with this act I was doing.

"I can´t promise I´ll never hide anything from you, Ron or Hermione from now on, but I will try to be more honest in the future," he swore. It was nice to hear he was dead serious about that statement.

My relationship with Harry can really be confusing sometimes. One moment we are close friends, and the next thing you know, we´re avoiding each other like a plague. But I would gladly choose our friendship over many things. And if that meant giving up whatever I feel for him, then I´d do it wholeheartedly to keep our friendship.

"You´d better keep that promise Mr. Potter. Or I´ll make sure that next time, you´ll end up with broken bones for deceiving us again," I laughed nervously. Harry enveloped me in a hug and a whole new feeling of freedom washed over me that moment. But I didn´t know how much I would come to regret the next thing I would say...

"You should invite Cho over for tomorrow night. You know, have her spend time with your friends." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back for causing my own misery again.

I might have accepted Harry´s decision, but I wasn´t so sure I was prepared to meet Cho face to face already. But I had made the offer, and I couldn´t very well take it back, for the sake of goodwill between Harry and myself.

"Really?" Harry´s green eyes sparkled with excitement. "You serious about that, Gin? I mean, it´s your party tomorrow. It´s your call on who you want to invite."

"It´s okay, Harry," I assured him. My stomach suddenly felt empty. "She´s your fiancée, remember? I guess it´s only proper that we get to meet her as well."

"Thanks, Gin! You don´t know how much it means to me." He gave me another hug so tight that it almost crushed me. "I´m sure you´ll all love Cho. She´s been dying to get to know all of you as well," he said. "I´ll go tell Ron and Hermione the good news, okay? Thanks again." He then disappeared into the kitchen like a young kid with a new toy for his birthday.

"Yeah, no problem," I sighed. Now if only I had an idea of how to get out of this mess I´d created.

(To Be Continued...)