Little Norton Church Hall Presents

Little Norton Church Hall, October 14th, 1981

Sirius wasn't sure, but this could have been the most idiotic thing he had ever agreed to, and that included charming McGonagall's fur tartan. He soon decided, as he had done then, that it was all Remus' fault. If it weren't for Remus' extensive knowledge of tartan and of failing bands, they would both have been back at the flat by now, indulging in the sort of extracurricular activities that Hogwarts most certainly did not offer, and desperately ignoring the fact that Remus could be betraying them all, and that in two weeks, Sirius would be in hiding.

Instead Sirius was about to take on the mantel of little-known folk rocker, Stubby Boardman. Bloody, heartbreaking Remus.

"Honestly, Sirius," the werewolf had said, amber eyes shining with amusement. "Can't you understand it from Stubby's point of view?"

Stubby, it transpired, was a short, chubby, dark haired Hufflepuff whom Remus had tutored back in fifth year. He had a very nice tenor voice, but had suffered trauma to his vocal cords recently.

"And he has a band called the Hobgoblins?" Sirius had asked, wondering whether Remus was playing an elaborate joke.

"Yes." Remus had replied, straight faced.

"And you want me to pretend to be him?"

"Sirius, don't look at me like that!" Remus had caught one of his hands. "Stubby really can't sing; I've never seen such a well aimed carrot. It would be such a help if you could just impersonate him a bit."

"But I don't look like him!" This point had been worrying the animagus for a while. "Do I?"

"Sirius!" Remus had said, exasperated. "Don't be so narcissistic. Yes, you are slightly taller, but Stubby wears heels on stage anyway. But you are rather similar in looks. Please, Padfoot," He had smiled at Sirius and pressed one hand to his friend's inner thigh, stroking the skin through the thin fabric of Sirius' new robes.

Now, about to go on stage, Sirius reflected that he'd had no choice but to agree. Besides, it didn't hurt to live a little.

There had been a frenzy of activity leading up to this moment: costume fittings, hair and make-up (Sirius had silently delighted in the camp levels of glitter in his short hair and eyeliner applied and reapplied to his face), frantic sex, less frantic rehearsals with the band (half of whom Sirius knew, and whom he had to admit, weren't bad) and numerous phone calls to James, Lily and Peter ensuring that they would be no where near the Little Norton Church Hall that night. He'd earlier found Remus sneakily informing Sturgis Podmore and Dorcas Meadowes that Sirius would be making his musical debut, though Remus had compensated for his actions nicely, so Sirius hadn't been too bothered.

"Sirius!" a voice hissed at his elbow. "You're on!" Sirius gathered his dignity about him and haughtily strode onto the makeshift platform that was acting as a stage.

A small crowd of bored looking witches and wizards clapped politely. Sirius caught sight of Remus, Dorcas, Sturgis and Caradoc Dearborn grinning at him from the back of the hall, before he turned his attention to three wildly squealing girls who had positioned themselves at the front of the crowd, and who were wearing more glitter than Sirius.

Grasping the microphone, Sirius glanced at the band. Elphias Doge, wearing a truly disgraceful hat, beamed and waved at him from behind the patched up drum kit. Sirius waved back, before turning back to the crowd and yelling into his microphone:

"ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...!"

The band burst into life behind him. Sirius pranced sultrily around his microphone stand and lowered his lips to it as the intro ended. As he sang, he watched Remus, who was smiling and waving at him, looking happy and relaxed. Confidence, not that he was lacking it in to begin with, swam through Sirius at the look on Remus' face. He twirled on the stage, much to the excitement of the teenage witches, and galloped exuberantly into the chorus:

"I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh! Guitar!"

Sirius stepped back as Benjy Fenwick raced towards the edge of the stage, strumming his guitar with the enthusiasm he usually reserved for stealing Moody's fake eye at night and playing wizard tennis with it. Caradoc was suddenly squealing along with the witches at the front, surprising Remus, who exchanged amused glances with Dorcas.

As the performance proceeded, Sirius began to enjoy himself. He pranced, span, and twirled happily, imagining how the glitter in his hair must be sparkling. He was halfway through the last song when a plump witch near the front of the crowd fell over her own feet. The turnip she was clutching slipped from her hand, flew through the air and struck Sirius hard on his right ear, knocking him backwards. He fell hard into Benjy, who howled as his guitar splintered and in turn fell onto Elphias' drum kit, which collapsed to the ground with a groaning sigh. Sirius had the unfortunate luck of hitting his head loudly on a cymbal as the two men went down.

The hall was silent, until the witch, who Sirius recognized as his cousin Andromeda, yelped "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" After that, chaos reigned as the three squealing teenagers decided that, as security was so lax at this point, it would be safe to clamber onto the stage and attempt to touch their heroes.

"I'm Doris Purkiss," one squealed into Sirius's tender right ear. "I love you, Stubby!"

"Sorry," Sirius replied drowsily, "I've always preferred wand work."

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Doris sobbing.

***

"Sirius? Sirius? Padfoot, can you here me?"

Sirius groaned. "Moony?"

He heard Remus sigh, and opened his eyes blearily. "Hello, Moony," he muttered, peering up at the werewolf, who smiled and stroked his mate's forehead.

"Hello, Padfoot. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, fine," Sirius had said, his voice growing stronger with every word. "What's going on?"

"Well," Remus paused. "Stubby's not too happy. Apparently you lowered the tone of the band. You also broke the heart of the fan he's been drumming up the courage to speak to for the last six months. But apart from that, everything went well."

Sirius grinned hazily up at his friend. "Where am I?"

"Backstage. You've been out for about half an hour. Andromeda wanted me to pass on her apologies, and wants you to meet on Sunday for tea with Ted and the Nymph."

"Right," said Sirius, sitting up and waiting for the room to stop spinning. He leant forwards to speak to Remus. "You know, I think what would help me most right now, would be some nice, healing-"

"Back to the flat?" said Remus eagerly, grinning at him. "But only if you're up for it, Padfoot."

"Of course I am!" Sirius said indignantly, and then, as though just remembering the troubles surrounding the wizarding world, tightened his hold on Remus' hand. "But don't forget," he said quietly "we've got to go and see Dumbledore with Jamie tomorrow."

Remus paused, and then sighed.

"I haven't forgotten, Padfoot," he replied and gently pulled Sirius to his feet.