The Temple of Le Fay

Chapter Thirty-One: How To Apologise

Apologies to Long Term Friends who you've Really Hacked Off

Wormtail suggests: Be honest, be sincere, and tell the truth. If you're in the wrong, admit it. Stand by for your actions: If you've messed up, then have the decency to admit it. Your friends will find it a lot easier to forgive you if you're prepared to admit that you were at fault.

Harry awoke feeling incredibly stiff all over. Bright sunlight shone in his eyes and birds sang in the trees outside the window behind Ginny's bed. Ginny herself was still sleeping, although she had rolled onto her right side, taking the weight off her wounded shoulder.

Behind him, Harry heard the doors to the hospital wing open. He quickly shoved the Invisibility Cloak and Marauder's Manual into his bag, and stood nervously, eager to leave before Ginny awoke.

Unfortunately or otherwise, the new arrivals in the hospital wing were Ron and Hermione, bearing several heavy looking textbooks before them.

The three of them stood by Ginny's bed, looking uncomfortably at each other. Hermione chewed nervously on her bottom lip. Ron looked at the floor for long periods between looking up briefly.

Eventually, Harry said: "I'm sorry."

Hermione looked at him. "Sorry for what?" she asked quietly.

"For being a git these last six months," Harry clarified. "I was wrong. I was scared. I thought, well, I thought I had to make you stop being my friends. I thought I couldn't trust you, thought I couldn't care for you. I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Hermione and Ron looked at Harry, the surprise evident on their faces. They were having understandable trouble in taking in what Harry was saying.

"You're sorry?" Hermione said at last. "You admit you've been wrong all this time?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I know it doesn't sound like much, but I swear I'll prove it. I'll do-"

He was interrupted by Hermione pouncing on him, and throwing her arms around his neck.

"Oh Harry," she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "It's good to have you back. We missed you so much. We forgive you."

Harry could feel his own tears welling up, so affected was he by Hermione's display of emotion.

Then Ron cleared his throat.

"Er, we forgive Harry?" he said, arms crossed across his chest. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Hermione wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly.

"No," she said. "Of course you don't. Ron, be honest, you've been missing Harry as much as I have."

"Yeah, okay," Ron relented, with a deep sigh. "Look, if Hermione's prepared to forgive you, Harry, I guess I am, too, 'cos you hurt her a hell of a lot more than you ever hurt me." He paused. "But I'm not happy about what you did to Ginny. I know you have to deal with a lot of stuff, and I can cut you some slack, and that's fine. But you can't keep doing this sort of thing, Harry. You can't just say that you're sorry if you're going to keep on hurting people. Especially not Ginny."

Harry hung his head.

"I know. I've been a git, I know that. I'll find a way to prove I'm genuine. I had a big shock when I fought that Boggart. It really confused me. I didn't know what to think for a long time. I didn't know who I could trust. I didn't know if I could risk being with anyone. In the end, I just decided it was better to push people away.

"I saw Sirius and Remus last night. They talked some sense into me," he admitted. "They made me see that, even when times are bad, especially when times are bad, I should rely on the people I care for, not push them away."

"Idiot," Ron said, not unkindly. "That's what been making you act like a prat for the last six months?"

"I was..." Harry looked at the two of them, and his gaze fell to the floor. "I was scared that if people I cared for joined Voldemort, then he'd send them after me. I didn't want to have to fight people I cared for."

Harry paused.

"I didn't want to care for people I might have to fight."

Hermione gulped, and Ron looked halfway torn between anger and sympathy.

"You-Know-Who couldn't turn us," Ron said carefully. "I suppose he could use the Imperius curse on us, but that's really hard to keep going all the time. You can only really do it one person at a time, anyway, or else how do you think we managed to beat him last time? You don't need to worry about him turning us against you, Harry. It'd take too much effort, and his attacks so far have been more about maximum impact for minimum effort then the other way around."

Hermione grinned. "You're spending too much time with Dedalus Diggle," she said.

Ron broke into a grin of his own. "It's true, though. Look, Harry, I know that Voldemort hates you, but he hasn't made a move for you in nearly a year. It seems like he's got other things on his mind right now."

"Yeah, I know," Harry said. He smiled slightly. "I guess I really need to start thinking more, don't I?"

"It might help," Hermione smiled. "Friends?" she said, offering Harry her hand. He took it and clasped it tightly.

"Of course," he said. He looked up at Ron.

Ron hesitated, and then laid his hand on top of Harry's and Hermione's.

"Someone has to keep you two balanced," he said, although he didn't meet Harry's eyes.

Harry smiled slightly, remembering Sirius' words the night before.

"Will you stay?" Hermione asked, when they had released hands. "We're still researching Morgan Le Fay, and another reader won't go amiss. I'm sure Ginny will want to talk to you, and thank you."

Harry glanced at Ginny, still lying asleep in her bed. She grunted slightly as she rolled onto her healing shoulder.

"I'll be back," he said after a long pause. "I don't know how I'm going to begin apologising to Ginny. I have other people I want to see first."

"Well, Madam Pomfrey says Ginny can leave this afternoon," Hermione said. "Will you be around at all today?"

"Yeah, I will," Harry said. "Don't know when, though. I'm not sure how long I'll be with the other people. Listen, will you do me a favour?" he said as a new thought occurred to him. "Don't tell Ginny, okay? I don't want it to seem like you're apologising for me."

Ron looked unhappy with this, but nodded. "Only until tonight, though. You've got to apologise to her, and if she weren't lying there asleep, I'd thump you for not going to her first."

Harry nodded. "Don't worry. I've been avoiding Ginny long enough. I promise that we'll talk tonight."

*

Apologies to Close Acquaintances you've had a Fight with

Padfoot suggests: If it's another bloke, just say that things got out of hand. The best thing to do is make a bit of a joke of it. Challenge him to a rematch sometime. If it got really out of hand, and someone was going to get hurt, it might be an idea to go beyond the apology to say that you're sorry. Do them a favour, help them with work, fix them up with that girl they've had their eye on or something. Lads, on the whole, are pretty forgiving.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up from his Potions essay and nodded to Harry.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Harry asked. Dean gestured for him to take a seat.

"I'm sorry about last night," Harry said.

Dean looked at him curiously.

"It got out of hand," Harry said. "I lost my temper with you. I was confused after the Quidditch match yesterday, and it just seemed like everything you said was designed to wind me up more and more. Eventually I just lost control. Yesterday," he said, "was not a good day for me."

Dean set down his quill carefully, making sure not to spill any inkblots on the parchment.

"The last six months haven't been very good for you, Harry. At least not the way I see it."

"You're right," Harry said. "I know I've been acting like the world's biggest idiot - and then some - but I want to make up for it. I've already apologised to Ron and Hermione. I wanted to say sorry to you, because you could have been really badly hurt yesterday."

Dean grinned. "You're not that good with a sword," he said.

Harry didn't return the grin. "There were a couple of times, when we were fighting, that I came really close to hexing you. Ever since I started doing magic again, well, it seems a lot stronger. I could really have hurt you."

"Harry, you didn't hex me," Dean said. "That's the important thing. Can I be honest with you about something?"

"Of course," Harry said.

"Promise not to hex me?" Dean said, his eyes twinkling.

Harry drew his wand and handed it do Dean.

"Okay," Dean said, setting the wand off to one side. "If we're being honest about thoughts we've had, I fancied Ginny."

Harry rocked back in his seat, momentarily speechless.

"I don't, not anymore, not really," Dean said. "I was trying to help her get over you, just being a friend to her. It just sort of happened that I fell for her. I didn't do anything though, so it doesn't count for anything. Ginny's a great girl, Harry. I started having feelings for her without even noticing."

Harry nodded slowly. "You're right. You didn't do anything wrong. I can't exactly blame you for fancying her, can I?"

Dean grinned self-consciously. "Yeah, I guess not. Anyway, nothing happened, like I said. I've spent my time since Christmas trying to get the two of you back together. We're just friends."

"She's lucky to have a friend like you," Harry said. "Me too," he added, extending his hand.

Dean shook it without a moment's hesitation. Unfortunately, in doing so, the sleeve of his robes caught his bottle of ink and sent it splashing over his parchment.

"Bloody hell," Dean barked, jumping up to avoid the wave of ink spreading across the table.

"Scourgify!" Harry yelled, grabbing his wand and aiming it at the ink flood. The ink vanished, but Dean's parchment was completely blue-black. Dean let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Two hours that took," he said, sitting back down and pulling a fresh roll of parchment from his bag with marked reluctance. "I mean, it was total rubbish, but at least I would have handed it in on time."

"Do you want a hand?" Harry asked.

Dean looked at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah. This is the one on the use of Gillyweed, right?"

"Yeah."

"Right, well, I finished that on Thursday night. I'll just grab my copy of it, and we'll get yours done in no time."

"I don't need to copy yours," Dean said quickly.

"I wouldn't let you," Harry said. "I'd have Hermione's voice in my head the whole time having a go at me. But you can at least have a look at what books I used, right?"

Sure," Dean said gratefully. "Thanks, Harry."

"What are friends for, right?"

*

Getting Girls to Like You after you've Really Wound Them Up

Moony suggests: This won't work on girlfriends. This is just for those colleagues of the fairer sex who have no interest in you other than in a strictly platonic sense. Friends, in other words. Or, at least, they would be friends if you hadn't managed to annoy them. So, how to make amends?

Well, a good start is, as always, just admitting that you were wrong. General apologies will go down better than you might think, although they're often met at first with stony blankness. Don't be deterred. Women are strange creatures, and they're often a lot softer on the inside then you might think.

Once you've laid the groundwork, it's time to move in for the kill. You don't have to be grandly eloquent, nor publicly demonstrative. In the experience of your authors, however, you do have to be right. And we mean absolutely spot on. If you don't know what you're apologising for, you may as well forget it. If in doubt, ask mutual friends about why she's mad with you. Only in the most extreme circumstances should you just hope for the best in this situation. Oh, and it should go without saying by now, but really, and we mean REALLY mean what you're saying.

Harry sat in the Quidditch stands, watching Cho and the rest of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team messing around on their brooms, clearly still in a celebratory mood after their victory the day before.

While he sat, he wondered exactly what he had to apologise for. He'd stood his ground for his beliefs. Although those beliefs had subsequently proven to be mistaken, he didn't feel that Cho had any right to be mad at him.

Maybe she'll just be grateful I've seen the error of my ways? Harry thought hopefully.

As the Ravenclaw team began to descend to the ground, Harry made his way down the stand to pitchside. He waved to Cho as she brought her Nimbus 2001 down to land.

"Harry," she said guardedly.

"Cho," he said, trying a friendly smile. It met with no response. "Dean Thomas said to say hello. I didn't know you two were friends."

"It appears that there's quite a bit you don't know about friendships, Harry," Cho said.

Harry's shoulders sagged. "I suppose I deserved that," he said. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?"

"What for?" she asked, glaring at him and hefting her broomstick in a manner that had Harry's Defence Against the Dark Arts-honed combat reflexes screaming at him to defend himself.

Harry sighed.

"For being a git. For ignoring you when you tried to help me. For rejecting every good, sensible bit of advice you tried to give me. For being an idiot, and too dumb to realise that a seventh-year Ravenclaw would know more than a sixth year Gryffindor."

Cho glared at him, and then walked off. Harry vaulted the barrier between the spectators' area and the pitch, and chased after her.

"What?" he said as she headed towards the players' tunnel, peeling off her pads as she went.

He was met by silence and the sight of her disappearing into the changing rooms. He scowled, and leant against the wall, waiting for her to come back out.

*

Twenty minutes later, she re-emerged with Su Li and Lisa Turpin. Cho's team-mates looked at him curiously as he moved to block their path.

"Cho, I'm sorry, okay?"

"You don't even know what you're apologising for," Cho said flatly, pushing past him and leaving him to scratch his head as the three girls made their way back to the castle.

*

Over lunch, Harry tried to catch Cho's attention. Hermione refused to give him any tips on what he might be missing out - "How will you learn?" - and Ron just sniggered at Harry's increasingly bewildered expression. Harry was only grateful that Ginny was staying in the hospital wing until that afternoon. He didn't want her first sighting of him to be chasing after Cho Chang and trying to get back in her good books.

As soon as the last remains of Cho's roast lamb disappeared from her plate, she stood up and started making her way towards the doors. Harry jumped up, leaving half his food untouched and hurried after her.

"I'm sorry for making you chase after me all this time," Harry said as soon as he got within earshot.

The look Cho shot him would have made a lesser man run away. Harry just stood frozen as Cho left without a word.

*

He found her in the library, thirty minutes later. He waved absently to Lockhart and Professor Skeeter as they pored over a huge old book, and then dropped into a chair opposite Cho.

"I'm trying to work," she said, frowning at her Arithmancy work.

"19^th of October, 47, Romeo and Juliet, Red Rum, the Daily Prophet, and Professor Dumbledore," Harry said, glancing at her question sheet.

"What?" she looked up.

"The answers to your homework," he said, grinning.

"Really?" she asked, frantically checking the sheet and scrabbling through her notes.

"Probably not, but at least you're talking to me," Harry said. "Look, I've said I'm sorry, what more do you want?"

Cho glared at him. "I'd like you to sod off, quit bothering me, and work out exactly what it is you're meant to be apologising for," she said.

Harry took the hint and left her alone.

*

An hour later, Harry thought he knew why Cho wouldn't accept his apology. He'd looked over Moony's advice again, and thought he knew where he'd been going wrong.

He found Cho sitting under an elm tree in the grounds. Tucking the Marauders' Map back into his pocket, he approached carefully, making sure she could see him long before he got within talking distance.

She didn't say anything or move away, so he took a seat next to her.

"I'm sorry for pushing my friends away. I'm sorry for making it seem like I didn't learn anything from Cedric's death, like it didn't mean anything to me how he died without a chance to say anything to anyone. I'm sorry for making my friends feel terrible, and for making myself feel terrible as well. I shouldn't have done it, and I've learnt my mistake."

Cho smiled faintly. "I knew that you Gryffindors couldn't be as thick as you always seem."

*

Later, Harry sat with Ron and Hermione in the Gryffindor common room. Harry was showing Ron how to perform the Bubblehead charm, something that Ron had never quite got the hang of. There was still a little tension between the two of them, but both were working hard not to show it. Hermione privately suspected that Ron would be fine as soon as things were settled between Harry and Ginny.

Hermione was working on one of the most obscure texts on Morgan Le Fay. It detailed her early life, and Hermione felt that it was worth reading in case it showed her having any affinity to a place in early life that might have led her to select it as the site of her final resting place.

"Hermione," Harry said, as Ron blundered around the common room with a four-foot bubble on top of his shoulders. "I just wanted to say thank you for working on Le Fay even when, well..."

"Don't be silly, Harry," Hermione smiled. "Of course I was going to keep on working on it. Besides, now all those Dark wizards have been taken away, Gilderoy needs all the help he can get. I know that Professor Skeeter is helping, but-"

"But I don't reckon those two are getting much work done," Ron said, popping the bubble with his wand. "Gilderoy," he muttered, too quietly for Hermione to hear.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"You mean you don't know? Blimey, Harry, this is what happens when you dump all your mates," Ron said with a laugh that only sounded slightly forced. "Hey Seamus, get over here and tell Harry what you saw when you were looking for that copy of Quidditch Through The Ages."

Seamus jumped to his feet, a broad grin on his face as he left his conversation with Parvati and Lavender to join them.

"Harry, you didn't hear yet? I went after that book nearly a month back."

"I've been busy," Harry objected. "What happened?"

"Well, I was the only one in the library, 'cept for Madam Pince. I went for a wander down the Sport and Recreation aisle, and who should I stumble across but Lockhart and Professor Skeeter, snogging and generally getting it on in a way that older people really shouldn't do where someone can see them. Anyway, I legged it out of there before they could see me."

"And, of course, it's entirely their own business," Hermione said, without looking up. "I think it's sweet that they like each other. I don't imagine that Professor Skeeter has had many chances for relationships, and Gilderoy deserves a second chance at happiness."

"Agreed," Seamus said. "And I have no problem with them liking each other. I just didn't need to see it with me own eyes."

Harry and Ron laughed while Hermione shook her head.

And then the buzz of conversation and laughter died as suddenly as though a Silencing charm has been cast upon the common room. Harry looked around wildly, half expecting a Death Eater or Voldemort himself to have Apparated into the room.

In the time it took Harry to remember that Apparation onto the Hogwarts grounds was impossible - Hermione finally managed to drill it home, he thought absently - he realised that there was no enemy threat in the room.

In that short period of time, plus the time it took him to realise that Ginny Weasley had just come through the portrait hole, the common room emptied of students, and the slamming of the door to the boys' dormitories was the only sound to be heard.

Apologising to the Girl who you've Dumped by Mistake and now really want to Forgive You

Prongs suggests: Beats me. If you work it out, let us know, and we'll stick it in here. Good luck!

Harry had been both anticipating and dreading this moment since reading the complete lack of advice that his father had put down in the Marauders' Manual twenty years before.

"Hi Ginny," he said carefully.

Ginny stared at him impassively. "Hello Harry," she replied. "I suppose that you apologised to everyone. Ron and Hermione seemed very cheerful this morning when I woke up, and considering we lost the match yesterday, it must have taken a lot to put Ron in a good mood."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I apologised. I don't think Ron cares about the Cup, you know. He's happy because you're safe."

She ignored him. "So you're back?" she asked, moving across the common room and dropping her bag on one of the couches. She stood by the fire, staring at the flames, not looking at him.

"I am," he said.

She nodded, and turned to leave, collecting her bag and heading for the girls' dormitories.

"Ginny, wait!" Harry said.

She turned around. Harry's stomach twisted as she stood before him, silhouetted against the firelight.

Just like the first time I kissed her. She's so beautiful...

"I haven't apologised to you yet," he said, stepping forward.

"I noticed," Ginny said coldly, folding her arms across her chest and turning away from him.

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry," he said. "For everything. I've been a complete sod to you, and I ignored everyone who tried to put me right. I've been stubborn and arrogant, I've hurt you and humiliated you, and I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again. I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry for it all."

Ginny's fiery hair hung over her face as she bowed her head. It seemed to flicker in the firelight, and Harry fought the urge to reach out and run his fingers through it. He didn't think that Ginny would welcome the movement.

"It's been horrible without you around," she said quietly. "It took me months to stop waking up every morning and thinking that you'd be waiting down here for me. Every time I thought I was making progress, every time I thought I was getting over you, I seemed to get knocked backwards. When I heard that you'd kissed Cho at the Hogmanay Ball, I just felt numb. On top of everything else, I just felt so horrible that I couldn't cope.

"I tried to keep myself busy. I tried to teach Dean the Patronus charm, like you did with me. I wrote huge letters to my family, and I always seemed to end up talking about you. I practised Quidditch for hours, but it was like I was flying against your ghost.

"It would have been a lot easier if I could have believed you were a complete git, Harry, but I couldn't. You were giving up all your free time to teach anyone who wanted help, regardless of what House they were in. You turned losing your ability to cast spells into an incentive to work harder. You-" Ginny choked and Harry, who had been looking in shame at the floor, looked at her face. Tears were streaming down her face.

"You saved Pigwidgeon when he would have fallen to his death, and no one else even noticed, but I did, Harry. Everything you do, I notice. Everywhere you go, I notice. I don't know if it's because of this bond Dumbledore says we share, or because of how I feel about you, but it's there. I tried to get over you. I tried not to care for you. I tried so very hard to hate you for what you did to me.

"And I couldn't," Ginny sobbed. "I couldn't hate you. I couldn't change the way I feel about you. And now you come back, and you say you're sorry, and I don't know what to think, Harry. You hurt me like no one else could ever manage, and I can't hate you, and I hate you because of that."

With a slam of the door, Ginny was gone, and Harry was left all alone in the common room.

To be continued...