The Temple of Le Fay

Chapter Seventeen: Harry vs. Hermione

The next few days were some of the longest of Hermione's life. She spent the rest of that Saturday sitting with Ginny and Ron, for once unable to focus completely on her work. Her mind kept flashing back to the image of Harry, lying angry and defiant on the floor of the hospital wing. Each time she shivered, until Ron got up and put more logs on the fire. She gave him a small smile as he sat back down, but he was looking instead at Ginny, who in turn was staring blankly into the fire.

"Ginny, Harry will be fine. He was hurt worse in the first year, and he's a lot tougher now," he said.

Ginny blinked, and turned to look at her brother. "Sorry, Ron, were you talking to me?"

Ron shook his head, a little sadly. "No, just thinking aloud," he said. "Can I get you anything? Food, drink, anything?"

"No," she said vaguely. "I'm alright."

Hermione's heart ached as she watched her friend suffering. She looked at her watch. It had been over three hours since they had left the hospital wing.

How much time is Harry going to need? Ginny needs to be with him so badly. Does Harry even know how much she cares for him?

She stood abruptly. "I'm going back to see Harry," she said. "I'm not going to just wait here. Harry needs his friends around him. Even if he's trying to push us away, that doesn't mean we should let him.

Ron grinned tightly, and nodded. Ginny managed a small smile. The three of them made their way back to the hospital wing.

To their surprise, Harry seemed quite happy to have visitors.

To their greater surprise, he already had one.

Cho was sat on the end of Harry's bed, the two of them caught up in a complex discussion of Quidditch, and Cho's performance in the match just completed. Ron coughed just loudly enough to announce their presence, and both looked up in slight surprise. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence.

"I should be off," Cho said, standing up. "I'm glad you're awake now."

Harry stretched and yawned. "I almost wish I weren't."

"See you later," she smiled.

"Bye Cho," he said. "Thanks again for the sound stone. I really think it helped."

"I'll tell Justin when I see him," she said, and walked off. "Hi," she smiled at the others. They nodded in return.

"Well, you're a lot happier now," Ron said as they sat around Harry's bed. Hermione noticed that Ginny was holding back from any overt sign of emotion, and felt slightly saddened by this.

"I s'pose," Harry said. "Sorry about before. I know I acted like an idiot."

"We just want to help," Hermione said.

"Yeah, I told you I'd help you with that Boggart," Ron said. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"Thought I could take on a Dementor by myself," Harry said, tiredly. "Got that a bit wrong. Listen, I don't want to be rude, but I'm really tired. Would you mind if I got some more sleep?"

"Of course not," Ginny said. "Shall I stay here?"

"No," Harry said shortly. "Head back with Ron and Hermione. I. . . I'll probably just sleep through until tomorrow morning now, anyway."

"Oh, okay," Ginny said, looking even more put out. "I'll come by tomorrow?"

"That'd be good," Harry said.

But he didn't look at her as he said it.

*

Ginny disappeared straight up to her dormitory as soon as the Fat Lady's portrait swung closed behind them. Ron looked after her in concern, and would have followed her if Hermione had not laid a hand on his arm.

"Don't, Ron," she said. "Besides, you can't, remember?"

Ron smiled weakly as he remembered the sirens and wildly flickering torches that had greeted Seamus' attempt to visit Lavender in her dormitory late one evening the previous year.

"Yeah, I keep forgetting that," he said. "One of these days, I'll find a way past that charm."

"And just what are you planning on doing when you get past?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied, airily. "Just be incredibly smug that I beat McGonagall's spell."

They shared a smile, before their expressions turned serious again. They sat down on the sofa, and Hermione curled up against Ron.

"Harry's not well, is he?" Ron asked.

"He's gone through a lot in the last few days," Hermione said. "In the hospital wing twice, then meeting the Dementor, plus finding out about Sirius. It's bound to have an effect on him."

"Yeah, but he seemed happy enough to see Cho, didn't he?" Ron said. "And I reckon Ginny noticed that, too."

"She probably just tired him out," Hermione said. "It looked like a very lively conversation they were having. And you know what Harry's like about Quidditch. He wouldn't have thought about his health once he got caught up in hearing about the match."

"Yeah, you're right," Ron said. "Harry's not daft enough to deliberately hurt Ginny. Not after all the fuss we made about them getting together."

"Has Harry forgiven your family yet?"

"No. He says he won't until he gets a decent chance for some revenge."

"Harry taking revenge? He doesn't have it in him."

"You reckon?" Ron laughed. "Do you remember what he did to their brooms last year? And you've never been at the Burrow over the summer, have you? Harry goes mad at Fred and George. You should have seen what he did when they spoiled a picnic he put together for Ginny one day."

"What did he do?"

"Well, he couldn't use magic, right? Instead, he got some itching powder, got into their room-"

"Oh no," Hermione grinned.

"-how he got past their guards I'll never know- and coated their beds, their shirts and their, well, their, er. . ."

"Underpants?" Hermione giggled. Ron's ears went pink, but he nodded.

"They went mad before they could clean it all up. And then they found out what it was he'd done to their Wheezes ingredients. . ." he tailed off.

"Oh no. Do I want to know?"

"Well, you know what happened when we chucked that firework into the Swelling Solution?"

"Oh no. Really?"

Ron nodded, his face struggling under the twin weight of sympathy and amusement.

"That sort of thing. It was a pretty big bang, too. Of course, we're used to hearing explosions from their room, so no one mentioned it until dinner when they didn't come down."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's really, really hard to reach the doorknob when you're eight inches tall," Ron said.

Hermione laughed.

"Harry got into quite a bit of trouble over that," Ron admitted. "But Mum wouldn't turn the twins back to their right size until bedtime, so it all turned out okay."

"And the twins stopped trying to get Harry?"

Ron grinned. "No way, they just upped the stakes after that. They had a proper little war going on, and of course Ginny joined in on Harry's side, but Mum stopped it after a while."

"How come?"

"Dad walked in on one of the tricks Harry had left."

"Oh no."

"It wasn't a bad one, but he had his dress robes on."

"Oh no."

"Yeah. Mum wasn't pleased."

"Oh dear."

"They were washing dishes, by hand, for the rest of the holidays after that."

"Well, they sound like they deserved it," Hermione said piously.

"Oh, they did. Why do you think I didn't get involved?"

Hermione smiled, and curled up tighter under Ron's arm.

"Harry will be alright, won't he?"

"'Course he will," Ron said. "I mean, it's Harry. What could some stupid Dementor do to him?"

*

Saturday passed into Sunday. Ginny came down from her dormitory just before teatime on Saturday to have one more try at visiting Harry, but she returned quietly, telling Ron and Hermione that he had been in a deep sleep.

Sunday dawned, just about. A grey day, it matched their moods as they made their way down to the hospital again. Harry was lying on his bed, and didn't seem to have moved since the previous day.

"He was just like this last night," Ginny said. "How bad is he?"

Hermione and Ron shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't something they had ever discussed, even briefly, but they were well aware of it nonetheless.

Harry was a very powerful wizard. Deep down they suspected that he was capable of things they couldn't imagine, things they'd never be able to achieve. He had a lot of power.

So for Harry to have had that power depleted so completely would be devastating to him, far more so than it would be for almost anyone else.

Trading a glance, they knew without speaking that Ginny didn't see it that way. To her, Harry was Harry first, and anything else was a distant second.

That's why she's so good for him,

Hermione knew. Even Ron and I know that there's something different about Harry. We try not to treat him any different, but sometimes it's difficult.

Hermione felt guilty about it at times, especially when Harry caught her and Ron acting differently around him. Looking at Harry now, lying listlessly on his bed, it was hard to imagine him as he normally was; Vital, and full of life.

For Ginny, though, it was as if nothing had changed. She pushed through the doors and strode up to Harry's bed. Ron and Hermione followed at a discreet distance, letting Harry and Ginny have a moment alone.

"Alright Harry? Should we bother sitting down, or are you going to kick us out again?"

"Ron!" Ginny said.

Harry smiled wearily. "You can sit. I won't kick you out. I can't promise I'll be very good company, though. I just don't seem to be able to go more than thirty minutes without falling asleep."

"Well, you were knackered before you got knocked out," Ron grinned. "And knowing you, there's plenty more sleepless nights to come. Your body's probably just taking the chance to get a bit of sleep for a change, mate."

Harry smiled, but Hermione could see that he'd been telling the truth. His eyelids hung heavily over his eyes, and his head was drooping noticeably lower as she watched.

"We won't stay for long anyway," she said briskly. "We just wanted to say that we'll make sure to take lots of notes in classes while you're in here. You already have a lot to catch up on."

Tired as he was, Harry managed to look faintly alarmed.

"Er, I don't think there's much chance of me doing much work like this, Hermione. I can't even use a wand."

"That doesn't matter," Hermione said. "You can still learn the theory. We'll come in tomorrow evening."

Harry looked alarmingly sleepy now, so much so that even Ginny didn't object to their short visit. The three of them took their leave, and Harry was left alone again.

He watched the doors for a long time, before muttering "Damn."

*

Sunday passed into Monday. No one seemed to know how long Harry would be in the hospital wing. Throughout Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, Ron found himself snatching glances at the students who were a partner short, wondering whether Harry would have enjoyed the lessons. He took exceedingly detailed notes in both classes. Hermione smiled to herself when she noticed.

Monday evening came and went. Harry had been right the day before, there didn't seem much point in his studying when he was so weak. Without magic, nothing seemed to go right, and when Hermione told him that they would keep practising "Because it's still important to learn the theory" his shoulders slumped. Hermione didn't seem to notice.

The week carried on. Hermione and Ron worked as hard as possible in their lessons, and even Ginny perked up when Harry's wand spat out a single spark on Thursday night.

On Friday night, however, everything fell apart.

Harry had been irritable and snappish all evening. Now that he was able to stay awake for several hours at a time, he resented being kept in the hospital wing all the time. He was also coming to resent the way the others were treating him.

"Hermione, I get it, okay?" he snapped as she went through a Potions ingredients list for the fourth time. "Just shut up, will you?"

Hermione, Ron and Ginny looked at him with slight expressions of shock. Hermione opened her mouth, but Harry raised his hand to stop her.

"Yeah, I know, you're just trying to help. And I should be grateful, I suppose? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not. In fact, if I had any magic in me, I'd hit you with a Silencing Charm just to get you to shut up. Really, Hermione, I'm sick of hearing you going on and on, like you're perfect. Well you're not, right?"

"I, I never said-" Hermione tried to say, but Harry cut across her.

"If you were perfect," Harry went on, glaring at them all, "you wouldn't keep on trying to make the house elves do something they don't want to. Did you know that Dobby's got to do the work of four elves because none of them want to come up to the tower? I bet it never crossed that over-full mind of yours that you're doing more harm than good, did it?"

Hermione's lip quivered, but her eyes narrowed.

"And I suppose you know all about elf rights, do you?" she asked.

"I don't need to. If something I was doing was making people miserable, I'd stop doing it."

"Really? What about all the times you've hurt people, Harry? All the times you've ignored Colin Creevey, or Ginny, or-"

"That's hardly the same thing," Harry sneered. "I was trying not to encourage them to act stupidly, you're trying to get the elves to rebel. I looked up some stuff about the elves, Hermione. They're treated a damn sight better here than anywhere else. It's like trying to convince Death Eaters to start making daisy chains. It's not going to happen, and you're just getting in the way of other people with more important things to do."

"And you have more important things to do, do you?" asked Hermione, her voice so cold that Ron shivered.

"Yeah, I do, as it happens. Everyone seems to think that I'm the one who's going to stop Voldemort, I'm the one who's going to duel with the Death Eaters, I'm going to stop everyone from stubbing their toes. . . If I'm going to do that, I don't have time to go chasing after house elves."

"So tell them to talk to me!" Hermione said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "That's what I want them to do."

"They don't want to talk to you!" Harry roared. "You embarrass them, you're making Dobby's life miserable, and if there is an elf revolution, it won't be because of you, it will be against you."

Ron and Ginny's heads were flicking back and forth, following the argument like a tennis match. Ginny had gone very pale, shocked by the way Harry had lost his temper so completely. Ron, more used to Harry's occasional flare ups, was turning a deep red as he watched Hermione growing angrier.

"At least I'm trying to make people's lives better! Trying to take care of the details so that you can concentrate on your precious quest."

"Precious quest?" Harry snarled. "It's just trying to stop an evil wizard from taking over the world and probably killing everyone I've ever met! Nothing for anyone else to worry about, obviously!"

"Oh no, no one else is doing anything to stop Voldemort," Hermione yelled. "Dumbledore hasn't given his life over to the attempt to stop him. Sirius is lying all alone in a hospital bed because he enjoys it!"

Even as she said it, Hermione knew she'd crossed a line. Harry could take almost any abuse, which she'd always supposed was a legacy of his miserable childhood, but to bring Sirius into what had been until then a fairly innocuous argument. . .

"Harry, I. . ."

"Get out."

It was barely more than a breath, but all the more devastating because of it. Hermione flinched. Ron, whose temper had been on the verge of explosion, turned pale. Ginny looked at Harry as though she had never seen him before.

"Get out," Harry repeated, his voice straining under tight control. "All of you. Leave. Now."

They looked at him in frank disbelief and then, as the calmly furious look on his face didn't change, one by one they stood up and made their slowly, sadly away from him.

Passing last through the door, Ron turned to look at his friend.

"I know you've been through a lot recently," he said calmly. "That's why I didn't just lamp you one. But I'm warning you, if you ever speak to Hermione that way again, I'll hit you so hard that what you're feeling now will be a walk in the park, understand?"

Without waiting for a reply, he turned on his heel and strode off.

*

By the time Ron returned to the common room, Hermione had gone to bed. Ginny sat silently on the edge of a large group that was gathered around the other members of the house Quidditch team. Ron swore softly under his breath. He headed for the sixth year boys dormitory, pausing only to exchange a weak, less than heartfelt grin with Ginny. He wanted more than anything to go to her, to comfort her, to tell her that it would be okay.

But he held back. He knew Ginny as well as he knew himself, and she would no more appreciate such an empty gesture than he would.

Instead he walked past the team, ignoring the entreaties of Seamus and Dean to join them. Making his way up to the dormitory, he drew parchment, ink and a quill from his bag and sat down. Scratching the tip of his nose thoughtfully with the quill, he wondered exactly how he could phrase what he wanted to write.

*

Professor Lupin,

I'm worried about Harry. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore told you about his collapse. He's taking it really rather badly. Today he picked a big argument with me over nothing, and he's been cold and off hand to us all week.

I know we can't expect him to be back to normal immediately after being hurt so badly, but it's most unlike Harry to take a setback this way. Is there anything you can do? If nothing else, I'm sure he'd appreciate hearing from you.

Hope Snuffles is getting better,

Thank you,

Hermione.

Remus sat back, a small sigh escaping from him. His eyes flickered to the sealed door of the isolation wing before he opened the second letter. The tiny owl that had brought it to him was perched proudly on his shoulder, and was clearly awaiting a reply.

Professor Lupin,

Any word on Snuffles? Harry's gone barmy, and I reckon a bit of news would cheer him up. He's been a moody git all week, and now he's started shouting at us. Ginny too.

He was raving on about how it's him who'll have to fight You-Know-Who, so everyone should just get off his back if he wants to be miserable and rude to us. I could probably let him get away with it if it was just me, but he's never talked to Hermione that way before, and it's not fair to Ginny for him to be like this.

I'll keep trying to get him to snap out of it, but anything you can do would be great as well.

Hope Snuffles is feeling better,

Ron.

Remus drummed his fingers on his thigh for a few moments, then picked up a quill and some parchment and began to write.

*

Ron and Hermione,

Sorry I can't be there to help in person, perhaps Professor Dumbledore can help? I don't want to leave Snuffles. There's no improvement in his condition, but the doctors say it's too soon for there to be any real change. With something this bad he'll likely get worse before he gets better. Harry's not the only one who's had to use all of his energy just to stay alive. I sincerely wish that I had better news for you.

I'll write to Harry, try and make it sound upbeat without lying to him. Harry's never been one for false hope, after all.

I know it must be hard for you to have to put up with Harry like this. I'd like to ask you to stick with him, but I won't, that wouldn't be fair to you. I don't think I'll need to ask, though.

You'll need to keep an eye on Ginny. If Harry's acting poorly, it'll hurt her worst of all.

Harry's been through a lot lately and I suppose it's natural he'll lash out at those closest to him. Try and avoid provoking him - I know, you're not trying to provoke him - because Harry does have a temper, and he could do something he'll regret.

With friends like you around, though, I'm sure he'll be okay. I don't think the Marauders were as close. I'm proud that Harry has such good friends.

I'll keep you up to date on Snuffles,

Moony

"Well, that doesn't tell us very much," Ron said. "Sit tight, don't wind him up, eat your vegetables."

Hermione smiled, but didn't say anything.

"It'd be nice, just once, if these things lined up in a nice, neat row and we got to deal with them one at a time."

"Yes, but that's not the way it works," Hermione said. "So what are we going to do?"

Ron looked over at Ginny, who was trying to do her Muggle Studies assignment but clearly couldn't concentrate. She kept looking over at the portrait hole, as though willing Harry to come through it.

"Let's give Harry a couple of days. Professor Lupin can write to him, and maybe that'll sort him out. If not, at least he'll have a bit of time to think."

Hermione nodded, and rested her chin in her hands.

"It's horrid not having Harry around."

"I know," Ron agreed. "Hey, d'you reckon this is what Crabbe and Goyle feel like now Malfoy's gone?"

"Oh dear," Hermione's face fell. "I do hope not. I don't want anything in common with them."

"That's not exactly very common minded of you," Ron teased.

"You're right," Hermione said. "But still. . . Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Yeah, can't say I exactly blame you," Ron said. "Hope it doesn't come back to haunt us. I mean, if Harry can turn on us. . ."

"Harry hasn't turned on us," Hermione said firmly. "He's just confused, that's all."

"Yeah," Ron nodded firmly. "Of course."

*

Harry,

I hear you've been having your usual peaceful year. If you can avoid getting killed, myself and Snuffles would appreciate it. I don't think it's too much to ask. I think you'd appreciate the benefits, as well.

One of those benefits is having friends. I wish I could be there to check you over and keep you company, but I'm sure that you appreciate I'm needed here.

I can't say I'm happy about choosing between you and Padfoot, but it's an easier choice than it could be. I can watch over him here, and while there's no improvement yet, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

I know you'll be okay, not just because you're at Hogwarts with Dumbledore, but because you have friends who care for you and who'll keep an eye out for you.

Don't push your friends away, Harry. They can be your greatest strength, if you're prepared to take a chance on them.

I'll owl you with more about Snuffles condition soon,

Moony

Harry finished reading the letter out and looked up at Hermione, Ron and Ginny.

"You couldn't wait, could you? Don't you think he has enough to worry about? His best friend is in hospital, and you're hassling him about me? I," Harry declared, "am fine."

He looked around at the others, daring them to say anything in contradiction to this as he lay in his bed.

"But I suppose I shouldn't expect anything else, should I? I've always been the one who has to take care of things. It always comes down to me, but I always have to protect other people, don't I? And you now what? That always makes me feel really terrible. You get pulled into things that don't concern you just because you're my friends. I'm sick of it."

He looked at the others again, but they stayed silent. They each had a horrible feeling about where Harry was going, but they hoped they were wrong. He couldn't mean what they thought he meant, could he?

"I keep putting you in danger. And you keep slowing me down. How many times have I had to save you? How many times has one of you saved me because I didn't know something that I should have done? It's not working out for any of us. Hermione, you shouldn't have to be worrying about the Temple of Le Fay, surely even you can't cope with the work we have and that kind of Ministry level research."

"Harry, I-" Hermione began, but he cut across her.

"Ron, the Quidditch team is yours. You're already the sole captain in all but name, well, here you are. The team is yours, and I know you'll make a great captain. Maybe Head Boy next year as well. At least one of us can have our deepest desire come true."

"You're giving up Quidditch?" Ron asked. Harry shook his head.

"No, but I can't be captain as well as everything else."

"What everything else?" Ginny asked.

"I'm going to ask if I can increase the Dueling Club to at least twice a week," Harry declared. "And maybe I'll see about doing some private tutoring, like Remus did with Professor Skeeter."

"You don't sound like you'll have much free time," Ginny said carefully.

"None, really," he said, his gaze faltering as he tried to meet her eyes. "I'll be working harder on my own subjects, plus everything else I'll be taking on."

"What about us?" Ginny asked, her voice as calm as she could make it.

"There won't be an us," Harry said softly. "I put people in danger just because they know me. Sirius is in hospital because of me, Cedric died because of me, Pettigrew is alive because of me. I can't do this to people I care about anymore."

"You're breaking up with me?" Ginny asked. She couldn't believe it.

Harry's expression hardened, as though he were steeling himself for an unpleasant task. "You must have known the day would come eventually," he said, his tone becoming spiteful. "As soon as I leave here I'll enter the Auror Academy. Do you really think I'll have time for a girlfriend then? And one still at school, at that?"

"Oh," Ginny whispered, her cheeks reddening as the words sunk in.

"So there it is. I'm sorry it's had to come to this, but this," he waved Remus letter, "just confirms what I've been thinking. We're working at cross-purposes to one another. You all have good lives to look forward to, but it's me who has to make that possible. I can't, I won't let anyone else be bothered by that. It's my duty. I have to take it on alone. I've been lying here all week, trying to come up with a way of saying it. The nice thing about being bedridden is that you have lots of time to think, and I'm sure that I've made the right choice."

Harry turned to each of them in turn.

"Hermione, I'm sorry I shouted at you. It was wrong of me to do it. I do think that what you're doing with the elves is valid, but I can't let myself be distracted by it. Good luck to you, and I hope that, someday soon, you'll make that breakthrough. If anyone can do it, you can.

"Ron, you've been the best friend I could have asked for, but I can't stand seeing you put yourself in danger's way for me. One of these days, it's going to be too much, and you'll take a curse meant for me. I'd never forgive myself if that happened. This way I won't have to.

"Ginny-"

"Save it," she spat, standing upright and knocking her chair over. "You don't want to be slowed down by me? You don't want to have to worry about me? Fine. Don't worry about it, Harry, you'll never even have to speak to me as long as you live."

She grabbed her bag and stormed from the hospital wing, slamming the door so loudly that Madam Pomfrey let out a scandalised "Miss Weasley!" which everyone else ignored. There was an uncomfortable silence, and then Harry spoke.

"That could have gone better," he sighed.

"What do you expect?" Hermione said, fixing him with a gaze that was equal parts anger and pity. "You just broke up with her in front of us, Harry. That's not how you're supposed to do things!"

"She'll get over it," he said lamely. "Besides, it's better for her if she does hate me. It'll be easier for her in the long run."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione sighed. She stood up, and collected her things. "Ron, I'll see you back in the common room," she said, before turning and walking away."

Harry turned to look at Ron, who was scowling at him.

"In case you didn't guess, that was Hermione's way of giving me permission to knock some sense into you," Ron said. It sounded like a joke, except Ron's tone was deadly serious.

"Ron, I've made my decision, and now I have a lot of work to do," Harry said tiredly. "Can we just skip the part where you threaten me with violence? You'd never lay a finger on me when I'm in hospital, you've got too much honour for that."

"You just broke my sister's heart," Ron growled. "Don't talk to me about honour."

"Fine," Harry said, his tone one of absolute exhaustion. "Hit me. Teach me the error of my ways. It won't make a difference. This is for the best. For everyone."

"What gives you the right to decide that for us?" Ron said. "When did we ever object to helping you?"

"It's my right to choose my friends," Harry said, ignoring the second question. "And my right to choose if I don't want any. Please, Ron, just leave."

"Fine," Ron said. "When you pull your head out of your rear end, you know where to find us."

"Yeah, I do," Harry said quietly as Ron followed Hermione and Ginny's path out of the hospital wing. "But I won't be coming to you. Ever again."

To be continued. . .