Killing Me Softly

Chapter Ten
Beautiful Reality

"Love is the difficult realization that
something other than oneself is real."
- Iris Murdoch

*****

Although it wasn't until around past midnight that Tom finally fell asleep, he was fully awake by morning. He raised his head to check that Harry was asleep on the sofa chair, then he got up, fetched his day robes, and headed straight for the bathroom.

He quickly showered, and when he was done, he stole a quick look inside the bedroom. Harry was still asleep, but Tom didn't want to face him once he woke up.

Descending down the stairs, Tom headed for the library.

***

Harry woke up sometime later on. It took a minute for his thoughts to return to him as he recalled everything that happened the night before.

"Tom..." Harry said softly under his breath. He turned around, but Tom wasn't in bed. He lightly touched the spot on his lips where Tom had kissed him.

Turning around, Harry stared out the balcony window for a few moments before jumping out of the couch. He pulled on his day robes and headed out the room. He had to speak to Tom, but the very thought of looking at him in the eye frightened Harry. What was to happen between them now?

Before Harry could answer that question, he found himself in front of the library. He smiled faintly. Of course, I always know where to find him, Harry thought. He peeked inside to find Tom sitting on a sofa chair, his back turned towards Harry. From his posture it seemed like Tom was deep in thought.

Harry's heart constricted. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

***

When Tom entered the library, he saw that Grindelwald and Aderyn were asleep in one corner of the painting. Aderyn leaned against Grindelwald as she slept, and Grindelwald had an arm around her.

Tom sat down on one of the sofas. Pieces of parchment lay scattered on the table in front of him. He picked one up and took a good look. Etched all over the parchment were tic-tac-toe games and little note exchanges between Harry and Ron. Tom traced his finger over Harry's writing, smiling, remembering when he first felt Harry write in his diary...

He was just a spirit trapped in a book, and instead of reading or seeing any words on the page, Tom felt the words all over his phantom body. He closed his eyes and imagined himself on a bed, and Harry was writing all over his naked body, smiling in that slight mischievous manner of his, his eyes intensely locked into Tom's eyes...

Sighing, Tom opened his eyes again. What was this emotion running through his body? A mixture of fear, excitement, and confusion filled him. In one moment, he wanted to laugh as loud and as insanely as he could; in the next, he was terrified at the intensity of what he felt.

I must be going mad, Tom thought.

There was a sudden knock on the door, startling Tom.

"Tom?" Harry softly called.

Tom's heart beat heavily. He wasn't sure how to handle the situation. Harry was surely going to ask him about what he had done, and Tom didn't have an adequate response planned. He quickly grabbed a quill nearby, dipped it in the ink bottle, and began pretending that he was writing on the parchments scattered before him.

"Tom?" Harry asked. He was standing behind him, just a few feet away.

"I'm working right now," Tom said in a business-like tone. "What do you need?"

"Nothing," Harry said. "I was just wondering if you're feeling okay."

"I am feeling fine. Thank you for asking."

"I want to apologize again about my behavior during the visit."

"I already told you that you don't need to apologize." Tom heard Harry take a step forward; he tightened his grip on his quill.

"I'm happy that you took me back in the room," Harry said. "It shows that you're feeling empathy." He took another step forward.

"Is that what it is?" Tom said. "Then empathy is a selfish emotion. I brought you back in only because I remembered how I felt in a similar situation."

"No, it's not selfish," Harry said gently, taking another step. "It means that you sympathized with my situation. It would have been selfish if you knew what I was going through but done nothing. You care about me." He took another step forward. He was getting so close...Tom's hand shook, but he refused to turn around. "Tom, look at me."

"I have a lot to do this morning," he said, refusing to look at Harry. He felt Harry get even closer. He was over his shoulder now.

"Tom, what are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Writing," Tom said as calmly as he could.

Harry laughed. "You're not even doing that." Tom took a peek at what his hand was doing. The ink had run out from the quill a long time ago, and he had been just scratching the parchment haphazardly.

Tom laughed lightly, letting the quill slip from his fingers. Harry crouched down next to him, and Tom looked in the other direction away from Harry.

"Can I ask you about what you did after you took me in?" Harry asked, and for the first time, there was nervousness in his voice. Tom was sure Harry could hear his heart pounding.

"It's like you said," Tom replied, determinedly keeping his face away from Harry. "I care for you." And then he felt Harry's lips pressed against his cheek. He gasped softly, and finally, he turned around. He looked at Harry questioningly; Harry simply smiled.

"I never had the chance to return the kiss last night," he explained shyly. Without another word, he turned around and left, leaving Tom alone in the library.

Still stunned by the kiss, he stared up at the sleeping couple in the painting. Grindelwald still had an arm over his wife, his fingers entwined in her hair. Tom blinked, and suddenly he was seeing himself up there in the painting, and sleeping in his arms was...

"Harry!" Tom called out as he dashed out the library. Harry, who was midway through the hallway, stopped. Just as Tom curled an arm around Harry's waist, Harry turned around, and as though both had been waiting for this moment, their lips met. Harry brought his arms around Tom for a hug as they kissed, and before Tom broke away, he brought his hand up to Harry's cheek.

"Harry, what is this?" he asked softly. "What kind of love is this?"

Harry laughed, lifting Tom's spirits. How he loved that laughter! "I...think it's the same kind of love my father felt for my mother," he said.

Tom moved in for another kiss. It was the first time either of them had ever kissed, and so they missed or bumped each other's noses during their first few attempts. Finally, while both of them laughed at the new experience, they found a comfortable position. Tom moaned happily at the sensation. He massaged Harry's back while they gently rocked. Getting too enthusiastic, Tom's grip on Harry tightened; he swiftly spun around, and they crashed against the wall.

"Harry! Are you okay?" Tom asked, embarrassed at his clumsiness.

"Yeah," Harry replied, laughing. He gently poked Tom's belly. "Take it easy with me. I'm not made of iron."

Tom helped Harry up. Harry turned away from Tom, looking as though he were about to walk away, but then, without warning, he spun around and quickly kissed Tom on the lips again. Harry laughed at his own impetuousness.

Tom smiled. He looked down and saw that they were holding hands. He didn't remember reaching out for Harry's hand; it had happened as though it was the most natural act in the world.

"Harry, how did this happen?" Tom asked. Powerful emotions were filling inside him, frightening and exciting him all at once. None were negative emotions, but this was nothing like Tom had ever felt in his life. He wanted to do something spectacular and very dangerous, and the thought of doing such a thing alarmed him.

"How did what happen?" Harry asked.

"You...me...this," Tom said, motioning to their entwined fingers and all around them.

Harry chuckled. "I don't know. Do you think there's a reason for everything?"

"This is what you meant before," Tom said. "That science books cannot explain this." He was stunned. Harry bit his lower lip, suddenly worried. Tom looked dizzied as he frantically tried to understand everything.

"Don't think too hard about it," Harry said gently. "Scientists fall in love all the time, but they don't try to dissect it to the bone."

"They should," Tom said.

"I'm sure they've tried for many years," Harry assured him. "They found nothing, so they gave up. If they did find something, people would know more about love. There wouldn't be so many divorces." He laughed, giving Tom a tight hug. "You know, you're really adorable right now," Harry teased him. "Mr. Young Dark Lord, with power enough to destroy an entire country, is lost and confused about his own heart's emotions."

"Is this the first time you've felt something like this?" Tom asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "I like this emotion, and I like..." He broke off then, blushing again. Tom didn't to ask him to finish his sentence, knowing perfectly well what the last word was.

Harry's eyes bore into Tom's, twinkling. Warmth filled inside Tom's chest, swimming throughout his body.

Warmth...I'm growing warm, Tom thought, enjoying the sensation. He smiled down at Harry and moved closer for another kiss. Harry, what are you doing to me? Never has anything made me feel this happy. Harry's lips parted slightly, and Tom delightedly kissed Harry's lower lip.

A dull sound beat in his ears...Harry's eyes flashed open, and he took a step backward.

"Did you hear that?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Tom said, surprised. "While kissing you, I thought I heard your heart beating."

"That's what I thought I heard!" Harry said, laughing. Taking his hand, Harry led him quietly out of the hallway, and they soon found themselves in the kitchen.

"Do you think this has something to do with the immortality spell?" Tom asked. "Our minds are connected. Perhaps we are connected in other places as well."

"It makes sense," Harry said, squeezing Tom's hand.

Tom wanted to stay holding Harry's hand, but there were more important matters at hand at the moment.

"Are you hungry?" Tom asked.

"A little," Harry said, now stroking Tom's hand softly.

"I'll make something," Tom offered, breaking away from Harry's hand, "to make up for my behavior last night." He motioned for Harry to sit down.

"What are you going to make?" Harry asked as Tom pulled out ingredients from the refrigerator.

"Something that includes eggs," Tom responded.

Harry laughed. "I don't trust your cooking, Tom," he said, grinning.

"There is nothing wrong with my culinary skills," Tom said defensively, breaking an egg against the bowl.

"You just dropped some of the shell into the bowl," Harry pointed out, smirking. "I don't like my eggs crunchy, Tom."

Tom's face burned as he tried to find the shells. "As if you're a better cook!" he snapped.

"Here, let me help you," Harry offered, still laughing.

"You'll only make it worse!" Tom argued, playfully slapping Harry's hand away from the eggs.

"At least I know the difference between shell and yolk!" Harry pointed out teasingly. He grabbed another egg and broke it neatly. Tom pouted.

He watched Harry stir up the eggs before he bent down and said, "You'll make a fine woman some day, little Potter."

Harry shot him a dirty look; Tom took the chance to land another kiss on his lips.

"You snake!" Harry laughed, lightheartedly hitting Tom.

"You're going to drop the eggs!" Tom shouted, tipping the bowl backwards before it spilled onto the floor.

"Thanks," Harry said as he turned on the stove and poured the eggs in the frying pan, pretending that he wasn't affected by Tom standing so close to him that their bodies touched.

Tom slowly wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, lowering his head until his chin rested on Harry's head. He could see a trace of the smile on Harry's face.

So this is the same love that his father felt for his mother, Tom thought, watching Harry's hands as they worked on their breakfast. But Harry is a boy; can I feel this love for another boy? Is this also the same kind of love my mother felt for my father? Tom raised his head and pulled away from Harry, confused.

"Harry, do you think my mother felt this emotion?" Tom asked.

"Yes, she did," Harry said.

"Although my father did not love her back?"

"Sometimes love does not go both ways, Tom."

Tom frowned. "I think I'm starting to understand the pain my mother must have gone through after my father left her."

Harry turned around. "What do you mean?"

"What if you did not feel the same way about me?" Tom asked.

Harry turned back to the eggs. "Well, let's imagine that for a second. How would you feel?"

"Hurt," Tom said. "The same kind of pain I felt yesterday when I thought you did not want to be with me anymore." He took a step backwards. "I think...I would even have killed you if it were possible."

Harry smiled, unsurprised by Tom's answer. "Yes, you are the kind to kill someone who has hurt you," he said, tilting the frying pan over a large plate. "Just like what you did to your father."

"How would you feel if I did not feel the same way?"

"I would be very sad," Harry said, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I can imagine the pain vividly, having been denied love all my life. But I would move on." He set the plate down on the table and settled down. Tom sat next to him.

"I keep thinking," Tom said, "what if I had killed you in the Chamber and then began to feel this way many years later on. It must be maddening to feel this love but not to have the person you love next to you."

Harry smiled sadly. "I understand the feeling," he said. "I was never held or shown any love in my life, yet I was always full of love inside and always ready to give love to anyone who showed kindness to me. That's the problem with me, Tom. I'm in love with love, but up until I met Hagrid, I never had a friend."

"I don't want to hurt you," Tom said, still looking confused and a little scared, "but that's what I would have done if you had rejected me. If you were still a mortal, I would murder you without a second thought. Doesn't that frighten you at all?"

"You've had many chances to do that," Harry pointed out calmly. "Don't worry about it, Tom. Obviously there's something inside you that's not allowing you to hurt me." Tom, however, still looked unconvinced. After a long stretch of silence, Harry added, "If you did have a chance to kill me, would you do it gently?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Tom quickly replied. Harry patted his hand sympathetically.

"So, what's going to be our lesson today, Professor Riddle?" Harry asked.

"We're going to take this day off," Tom announced. "I really want to make it up to you. I want us to take the day off and just spend it together."

Harry cocked his head to one side. "Are you asking me on a date?" he asked, smiling deviously.

"Is that what I just did?" Tom asked, raising his eyebrows.

"It sounds like something I heard in Hogwarts last year," Harry said, grinning.

Tom chuckled. "It certainly went more smoothly than what Avery used to try when he asked a lady out. Once he ended up stumbling down three flights of stairs and breaking a tooth." His eyes widened. "Harry, the feelings I have for you...you said it's the same kind of love that your parents had for each other."

"Yes," Harry said.

"But you're a boy," Tom pointed out. "This love...shouldn't it only be between a man and a woman?"

Harry shrugged. "There are more boys out there who like other boys."

"Did you ever see anyone like that before?"

"No, not really," Harry confessed. "But I know we're not the only ones. You're asking someone who had his first kiss just last night. This side of love is new to me as much as it is to you." He smiled. "All I know is that I like this feeling."

"We kissed...just like a married couple would," Tom said, still in contemplation. "But we can't have a child together."

"Sorry I didn't come with a womb," Harry said a little bitterly. "It wasn't my decision, and I'm not going to change myself because of you."

"I'm not blaming you for anything," Tom said quickly. He sighed. "This entire subject...it's boggling my mind."

"Since when did love make sense?" Harry asked, taking a sip of orange juice. "Look at your friend Avery. Was he ever sensible whenever he had a crush?"

Tom laughed.

When they were done, Tom made straight for the front door.

"You're staying here," he said when Harry followed him.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"I want it to be a surprise," Tom said. His eyes were lighted energetically. "I want us to have a good time today."

"Ah, that romantic date you're planning," Harry said, smirking. "Just please don't get me a shrunken head for a present. I don't find that romantic."

"I won't," Tom promised, smiling. Their eyes locked for a few seconds. Harry ran up and gave Tom a quick hug before Tom left the manor.

***

Once the door closed, Harry sighed and his face fell. He flopped down on the closest sofa, one hand resting on his chest.

I'm in love, Harry thought in shock, his eyes darting around the ceiling and his heart beating quickly. I think I'm in love. Why else would I have kissed him? Only people in love kiss each other. So, I really am in love...but how did this happen? Should I even be falling in love with someone like him? He's an awful person most of the time, but...I love him, every part of him...

Harry sprung up from the couch. He wanted to write a letter to Ron and Hermione, to tell them that everything was fine. He wanted to write to them about Tom, but he knew that it would annoy Ron.

You think about him too much, Ron had said.

What would Ron think? Harry wondered a little guiltily. Tom killed Ron's sister...but...that was back then. I think Tom is changing; he won't kill any more people now that I've taught him about love. He smiled at his reasoning.

I must have been slowly falling for him all this time, Harry thought. I didn't even know what was happening until he kissed me. He picked up a quill and parchment. Should I tell them that I kissed him? He was as nervous and confused about this emotion as Tom was. He was also angry at himself for not having good answers ready for Tom's many questions.

I'm sorry, Tom, Harry thought. This is new for me as much as it is for you. We'll have to learn about this together. A new thought struck fear in him. What if I end up hurting him? We're so excited over this, both of us, but what if he ends up getting hurt the same way his mother was? I don't want to hurt him, but what if I do something stupid and I end up hurting him? He stared at the quill and parchment until the image became blurry.

"Tom," Harry said out loud, blinking, the quill just a notch away from the parchment. "Tom..." Harry sighed. I love the sound of his name, even though he hates it.

Harry wrote I love Tom in the air above the parchment and sighed again. He set the quill and parchment aside, too anxious to write. For the first time in his life, Harry was just as lost on the matter of love as Tom was. I have to be strong for Tom. I don't want to disappoint him.

He got up from the desk and made his way to the shower, desperately needing to clear his mind.

***

"I'm sorry, master," Wormtail said. "I did not get the chance to see your younger self in person. However, I have listened to the story the Weasley boy and the Mudblood girl told his parents."

"Tell me what it is you heard," Lord Voldemort commanded. Wormtail told him all about their visit, and by the end, Voldemort looked more confused. "My younger self leaves the Potter boy alone for hours with his friends? He lets Potter's Mudblood friend leave the house alive?" He tapped his fingers on his wand. What's going on in there? he wondered angrily.

"Wormtail, I want you to send for me a couple of more of my servants," he said. "Just because my younger self apparently does not seem interested in helping me, it should not stop me from enacting my plan..."

***

When Tom came back, Harry's heart leapt with relief. His thoughts had been torturing him ever since Tom left, and the shower had done nothing to calm his nerves.

"I missed you!" Harry said, giving him a quick hug.

"Why did you miss me?" Tom asked, surprised.

"I just...wanted to see you," Harry said. They looked at each awkwardly for a moment before Tom nodded.

"I understand," he said. Smiling, he added, "You're just as helpless as I am right now."

"I'm sorry, Tom," Harry said. "I want to help you with this, to make you understand everything, but it's something new for me too."

"I like watching you all lost, confused, and pathetic like a puppy thrown out into the rain," Tom teased.

"I'm not pathetic!" Harry argued, playfully hitting Tom on the shoulder. "What did you get?" he asked.

"I'm not telling you," Tom said playfully, pushing the bags away from Harry with one hand while the other stopped Harry from getting nearer.

"Tell me!"

"No!"

Harry gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Tell me."

"Later, I promise," Tom said, tapping Harry's nose with a finger. He quickly put everything in the refrigerator before turning back to Harry.

"It's not a shrunken head, is it?" Harry asked.

"No, just pickled frog hearts," Tom teased him. "Let's take a walk outside," he suggested after a while.

"All right," Harry said. He became aware that he took a couple steps closer towards Tom. Their fingers brushed against each other. Smiling shyly, he took Tom's hands in his own.

***

Harry's nervousness disappeared as the two of them strolled around the forest. They alternated between small conversations and just walking in tranquil silence, enjoying the springtime weather. They found a comfortable spot near a river, and they settled there.

"Many times today I've wondered how this happened," Tom started after a while. "I didn't realize what kind of love I had for you until this morning. If you asked me about how I felt about you a few days ago, I would have said that you were a close friend to me."

"That's how I would have answered the question too," Harry said.

"What's the difference between this kind of love and friendship?"

"I...don't know, Tom," Harry said.

"How do you feel about me? You have other friends to compare me to."

"I care for all of you," Harry said. "Honestly, there's no big difference in the way I feel about you and all of my friends...except our friendship is very intimate. You've seen parts of my past Ron and Hermione may never see."

"Then how can one differentiate between friendship and this love?" Tom asked, confused.

Harry laughed. "I don't know, Tom!" He rested his head on Tom's shoulder. "You look tired."

"I've been up all night trying to make sense of my actions," he said, smiling.

"I didn't sleep at all last night either," Harry said. Tom lowered himself on the ground, taking Harry down with him. They both looked up at the passing clouds, then at each other. They shared a smile. Harry rested his head again on Tom's shoulder, and before Tom knew it, Harry was asleep.

"I...love...you," Tom whispered the words so low only he could hear them. He repeated the words again, digesting the meaning of every word, fearing and enjoying the meanings of each at once.

Tom didn't know when he fell asleep, but he was glad to have awakened in time to see the sun descending over the horizon.

"Harry," Tom said, gently shaking him awake. "We've slept through the afternoon!"

"Uh?" Harry moaned as he sat up. He yawned. "It's sunrise!"

"It's sunset, idiot," Tom said. His stomach grumbled. "Come on, we need to head back home. We missed lunch."

"Is that all you ever think about?" Harry laughed. "I'm surprised you're not bigger than Dudley." At that moment, his stomach grumbled too.

"What were you saying, Cousin of Dudley?" Tom teased.

"Shut up!" Harry said, laughing. He sprung to his feet and ran; Tom chased after him, but he was not as fast.

"Come back here!" he called out.

Harry laughed, but then he tripped over a tree trunk. Before he could stop himself, Tom tripped and fell on Harry.

"Got you!" Tom yelled. He ran his fingers all over Harry, tickling him mercilessly. Harry wrestled with him, his laughter ringing throughout the forest.

"Ow! You're crushing my liver! Stop!" Harry begged, tears of mirth running down his cheeks. Tom finally let go, but before Harry could stand up, Tom picked him off the ground and swung him over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" Harry ordered Tom.

"Never," Tom said. "I'm never letting you go, little Potter." He gave him a playful slap on the bottom. "Let's go home now before I decide to have your crushed liver for dinner, shall we?"

As much as Harry enjoyed teasing Tom throughout the entire trip back home, he was happy to be back on his feet once they reached the front door. He blew a raspberry at Tom before entering.

"Saucy brat!" Tom called out, laughing. He looked up at the sky before going in. There's going to be a storm tonight, he thought.

He followed Harry into the kitchen, and moving quickly before Harry could go near the refrigerator, he stood before it, blocking the door. Harry's eyes narrowed, a look of curiosity on his face.

"So, what are we having for dinner?" Harry asked, looking through the cabinets.

"Anything you can cook without burning down the manor in the process," Tom said, smirking.

Harry shot him a look. "Then let's make pasta," he said, pulling out a package of spaghetti. "Will you give me a hand here? And peel some garlic for me, will you?"

Tom's jaw dropped slightly. "Garlic? You want to eat garlic?"

"Yeah, why not?" Harry asked. "It's part of the dish."

"How am I supposed to kiss you afterwards?"

"Tough luck," Harry said after realizing what Tom meant.

Sighing, Tom fetched a clove of garlic and began to peel it.

They prepared their dinner in silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other.

"Harry, I have some more questions," Tom finally broke the silence.

"Ask away," Harry said, checking up on the spaghetti in the pot.

"I was thinking of one of my school friends, Avery," Tom said. "He always acted odd whenever he fancied a witch, which was every other week actually."

"You mean he acted odder than usual?" Harry asked. "What were some of the things he used to do?"

"He wrote some of the most nauseating poetry I ever encountered in my life," Tom explained. "He would sit in class as though under a trance, and drool would be dripping down his collar."

Harry laughed. "There are many kinds of romantic love then, I guess," Harry said. "I for one would never write a crappy love poem about you - oh, wait, I just thought of a brilliant one." Grinning, he turned around and circled Tom. "My tall, dark, handsome lover, your beauty and deliciousness far surpasses that of a large chocolate cake topped with fudge and cherries."

"Deliciousness?" Tom repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Every time I see your shining face, my heart fills with warm blood and dances the waltz with all my arteries," Harry continued, barely constraining laughter. "Angels must have sculpted your body with milk and snake venom..."

"Enough with the purple prose!" Tom said, pushing Harry away. Harry bounced back and fell into Tom's arms, both guffawing.

"I think our dinner's done," Harry said, his face red from the laughter.

"I'll set up the table," Tom offered. He magically sealed the refrigerator door shut, and he winked at Harry before leaving the kitchen. Harry smiled, excited.

It's going to be an interesting night, he thought.

***

When Harry entered the dining room, he was greeted by lit candles. Tom had set out the best silverware in the manor.

"You're really getting into this," Harry commented after setting the large bowl of pasta down and settling next to Tom.

"I'm recalling everything I've ever seen couples do," Tom explained. "I want this to be, well..."

"Romantic," Harry said, tracing the design on his fork. "So this is what it must have been like whenever Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia went on these dinners." He smiled.

He was too excited and nervous at once to concentrate on his dinner.

"Do you remember the time when we shared food off our plates?" Harry asked, trying to break the tension.

"Yes, I remember," Tom said. "Back when love was such a mystery to me." He laughed. "It's still a mystery."

Harry lifted his fork to Tom's lips. Taking the hint, Tom took the fork into his mouth. He did the same with Harry, and soon the two boys spent the remainder of the dinner feeding each other.

Harry drew closer to Tom, watching his dark eyes and his mouth. He traced Tom's mouth with one finger, wishing to taste it. He opened his mouth to kiss him, but Tom pushed him away.

"Why?" Harry asked. Tom brought his wand to Harry's mouth. After he muttered a spell, Harry felt a fresh-scented gust of air blow through his mouth. Tom did the same to himself, then gave Harry a kiss.

"Because I don't like the smell of garlic, that's why," he said.

"You must be a vampire," Harry said teasingly. "Is it time for dessert yet?"

"Yes," Tom said. With his wand, he cleared the table. "Go to the living room," he told Harry.

"Why?" Harry asked, grinning mischievously.

"Just do as I tell you," Tom said.

Tom brought the two packages with him to the living room. Harry watched Tom from the couch as he opened the first package and pulled out what appeared to be a miniature fountain. He set it on the coffee table nearby.

"It's a chocolate fountain!" Harry said when Tom got the small fountain working.

"Correct," he said. He sat next to Harry and gave him the other package. "I hope you've saved space for this," he said.

Harry eagerly opened the package, and his jaw dropped at the sight of the large, richly red strawberries.

"I definitely have enough room for this!" Harry said, grinning. Tom took one of the strawberries and held it to the chocolate fountain. He brought it up to Harry's lips, and Harry licked some of the chocolate before taking a big bite.

"What do you think?" Tom asked.

"It's delicious," Harry said after he swallowed.

"More delicious than me?"

Harry laughed. It was Harry's turn to dip a strawberry and bring it up to Tom's lips. As Tom nibbled on the strawberry, Harry's eyes were glued to a line of hot chocolate that dribbled down Tom's lips.

Surprising Tom, Harry licked the chocolate off Tom's lips before nibbling on it. He pressed his lips to Tom's, tasting the chocolate from his lips and kissing him at once. Tom opened his mouth slightly to allow Harry more space to eagerly taste and lick.

"Ouch!" Tom pulled away quickly.

"Sorry," Harry said, embarrassed. "I didn't mean to bite you!"

Tom rubbed his lower lip gently, smearing a thin line of blood on one finger. "Are you a vampire and forgot to tell me, Harry?" he asked, a smile creeping on his face.

Tom dipped another strawberry into the fountain, waiting until it was completely smothered in hot chocolate before offering it to Harry. Harry opened his mouth, but instead of slipping the strawberry into his mouth, Tom shook the chocolate over Harry's head, spraying his face with the warm liquid.

"TOM!" Harry cried out. Tom chortled as he ran the strawberry all over Harry's face. Harry struggled, but Tom pushed him back until Harry was lying down on the couch. Abandoning the strawberry, Tom kissed and licked Harry everywhere on his face while Harry playfully tried to shove him away. Their laughter carried out of the living room.

"Stop, that tickles!" Harry shrieked. "Ow, don't bite my nose!" His face flushed from laughter, Tom let go of Harry's face and kissed his neck.

"How'd you get to be so scrumptious, little Potter?" Tom asked in a low, husky voice. He bit Harry's neck. "I should put you in the oven right now, but not before I garnish you with honey and pecans."

"No!" Harry yelled, giggling as he tried to push Tom away.

"Oh, would you prefer if I barbequed you? I would greatly enjoy licking the sauce off your grilled body."

"You sick bastard!" Finally succeeding in pushing Tom off him, Harry sat up. Tom took one look at him, snorted, and laughed hysterically.

"What are you laughing at?" Harry demanded, but he had a sneaking suspicion he knew what it was. He ran his hand over on cheek. "Oh, son of a - I'm cleaning this off!"

"No, you're not!" Tom said, grabbing his shoulders. "I want to see you looking like this!"

"Let me go!" Harry yelled at him, laughing. He jumped off the couch, but Tom grabbed his arm and tried to force him back down on the couch. Breaking free from Tom's hold, Harry ran out the room and up the stairs. He could hear Tom not far behind.

"No!" Tom yelled when he reached the bathroom too late. "You destroyed the chocolate-coated Potter!"

"Good riddance!" Harry spat before splashing more water on his face. He felt Tom enter the bathroom, but Harry couldn't open his eyes from the water still on his face. He felt Tom inch closer and pat a towel against his cheek.

Smiling, Harry allowed Tom to dry him off, feeling a little tingling feeling deep in his belly whenever Tom's fingers brushed against his skin.

"Do I look human yet?" Harry asked after a while. He opened his eyes and checked himself in the mirror.

"My chocolate-frosted Potter is gone," Tom said sadly.

"Now you just have a raw, salty Potter," Harry teased him. He sensed that Tom was about to touch him again, so he hopped out of the bathroom. Turning around, he gave Tom a mischievous smile.

"What do we do now?" Harry asked him, playfully avoiding any touches or kisses from Tom.

"I have an idea," Tom said after a while. "Follow me."

"The bedroom?" Harry questioned, looking confused.

"It's getting late, and..." Tom smirked. He gathered the pillows and blankets, and to Harry's surprise, he threw them all onto the balcony.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, stepping out to the balcony.

"Well, what does it look like I'm doing?" Tom asked.

"Looks like you're making a bed."

"Exactly."

Harry laughed. "You're making a bed outside?"

"Yes," Tom said. "You find some strange things romantic. I find this...well...nice."

"You're having trouble saying that you find it romantic," Harry said, smiling. "Say it, Tom."

Tom sighed. "I find this romantic," he said determinedly. He rolled his eyes. "That had to be the most ridiculous thing I ever said in my life!"

Harry laughed. "You poor creature," he said before heading back into the bedroom. As he was kicking off his shoes, Harry heard Tom come in.

"Let me help you," Tom offered as he clasped Harry's robes. He helped Harry out of his robes, and whenever his fingers ran through his naked skin, Harry felt the same pleasant sensation in his belly. He looked up at Tom, and both shared a smile.

After Harry got into his night robes, he helped Tom out of his robes. A blush burned on Harry's cheeks whenever he touched Tom's body. A part of him wanted to keep his hand on Tom's naked waist, to feel Tom's stomach, but another part of him felt too shy and embarrassed. Tom had a small smile on his face the entire time.

He must be enjoying the feeling as much as me, Harry thought, smiling.

Once Harry was done, Tom pulled him close. The kiss was rougher this time; Harry could hear Tom's heart pounding in his ears. When he finally pulled away, Tom led Harry to their bed on the balcony. Harry settled down, Tom right across from him.

Tom waved his wand around them and muttered, "Impervius."

"What's that spell for?" Harry asked.

"Just in case," Tom said, putting the wand in a safe place. He snuggled under the blankets alongside Harry.

"It's going to feel different sleeping side by side from now on," Harry said after a while.

"How?" Tom asked. Harry shrugged. "Is it because we kissed?"

"I guess so," Harry said.

"So from now on, we'll be doing this more," Tom said, and he kissed Harry again. Harry chuckled.

"You're never going to get tired of this, are you?" he asked.

"How can I when you still taste like a strawberry?" Tom said, and without warning, he pinned Harry to the ground.

"Not again!" Harry laughed.

"I'm being careful," Tom said. "See? I'm not crushing any of your internal organs this time."

"You weigh a ton, Tom! Are you sure you're not magically concealing the way you really look?"

"I'm quite sure of it, little Potter."

"So if I wave my wand around you, you won't reveal yourself to be the size of a hippopotamus?"

"I promise you, I won't." He nibbled on Harry's ear.

Both grew silent. A corner of Harry's night robes pushed upwards, revealing a naked leg. He ran his leg against the inside of Tom's robes, rubbing against his leg. He laughed lightly at the surprised look on Tom's handsome face.

"Did you like that?" Harry asked.

"Yes..." Tom said in a quiet voice, his face burning. Harry caressed Tom's cheeks, looking at him straight in the eye until Tom looked away. He continued the caresses down Tom's neck and onto his shoulders. Tom moaned softly with every touch, his cheeks burning and his eyes closed.

Smiling, Harry wondered what was happening to Tom's body. Was he feeling the same pleasant tingling feeling in his belly? Harry gently touched Tom's chest with both hands, but suddenly feeling too shy, he did not explore another further past Tom's lowest rib.

He caught Tom's eyes again and smiled. It was Tom's turn to gently caress Harry's cheeks and chest. He spread soft, quick kisses over Harry's face and neck as one hand drew circles down his back. Harry closed his eyes and softly sighed at the sensation he received with every touch.

Their mouths met once more, and they kissed each other hungrily as Tom's hands explored Harry's body. The kissed last for a long time, and as the time passed, Harry absentmindedly rocked his body underneath Tom's, rubbing his body against him...

Gasping suddenly, he pushed Tom away. An intense sensation had arose somewhere between Harry's legs, something he had never felt before.

"What's wrong?" Tom asked.

"N...nothing," Harry said, blushing profusely. He turned sideways. "I'm just getting tired, that's all."

***

Tom raised an eyebrow, but he settled next to Harry, respecting his wishes. He wondered what happened to Harry to make him suddenly push away like that.

You're a mystery sometimes, Harry, Tom thought as he observed his friend. Harry's attention was focused on the cloudy night sky.

Was I really just kissing him moment ago? Tom began to wonder, feeling awe at the reality of the day. He had kissed Harry...Harry had hugged him, kissed him, laughed with him...

"Beautiful," Tom sighed, his eyes wide.

"Hmm?" Harry turned around to look at him. "What did you say?"

"It's...you're going to think I'm crazy."

"No, go on."

"I just realized that you and everything today is...real," Tom said, looking amazed. "It's not a dream. It's not an illusion. I'm really am feeling this, doing this. Your love for me...it's real. It really exists. I was just thinking of how stunning all this is, this beautiful reality."

Harry smiled and took Tom's hand. "Do you like this feeling, Tom? Do you like to feel love?"

"Yes," Tom said, still looking dazed. "It's not going to change tomorrow, is it?"

"Of course not," Harry said, laughing a little. "Tom, I -" A clap of lightening, closely followed by a rumble of thunder, stole his attention. Looking up, Harry watched as rain poured down, but not a single drop of rain touched them. Amazed, Harry searched Tom's face.

"The spell I did earlier was in preparation for this," Tom explained. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Harry said, beaming. He stared up at the sky, watching the rain fall on top and around them. Tom slipped Harry's glasses off and set them safely inside the bedroom. He wrapped his arms around Harry, and Harry rested his head on Tom's shoulder.

In silence, they stayed in this position, waiting for sleep to take them, both feeling at peace.

***

Harry's heart beat excitedly. He could feel his strength return; soon, he would take corporal form...

He opened his eyes and glanced inside the dim chamber. He stretched out his arms and took a big breath. He was alive! With every passing second he could feel life and power returning to him.

He took a couple steps forward to the small figure lying on the ground. A sickly pale young girl looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes. Her mouth fell, about to scream...

Harry bent down and covered her mouth and nose with his long slender hand. Pressing hard against her face, he watched with satisfaction as she writhed underneath him, her face turning blue as her body was continually denied oxygen...sneering, Harry laughed...

***

Harry jolted awake in a cold sweat.

"G-Ginny," he gasped. He could still see the image in front of him of Ginny withering and dying...

"Harry?" Tom propped himself up on one elbow and reached for Harry's hand.

"Don't touch me!" Harry snapped, pulling his hand away. "You enjoyed doing that...you didn't mind killing her that way..."

"Of course I did not mind," Tom said dryly. "She had given me all the strength I needed to leave the diary. I just had to finish the process."

Harry's jaw dropped. "Didn't you, for one moment at all, hesitate?"

"No," Tom said in a bored voice. "I needed to live; that was all that mattered."

"I don't believe this!" Harry jumped up and bolted back into the bedroom. He grabbed his glasses off the floor and headed straight for the bathroom.

"Harry," Tom called out, walking back into the room.

"Don't speak to me!" Harry yelled, slamming the door.

"Are you going to stay there all night?"

"No," Harry said although he wasn't sure what he was going to do. "Just...leave me alone."

Minutes passed, and Harry heard no more from Tom. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub, his face buried in his hands.

I shouldn't be surprised Harry thought, I've always known that Tom was a murderer, but...

An ill feeling rose in his stomach. He had felt Tom's emotions, his joy and satisfaction as he, without a drop of remorse, took away a young girl's life...