Killing Me Softly

Chapter Four
Infinity

"It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary,
and so universal as death, should ever have been designed
by Providence as an evil to mankind."
- Jonathan Swift

*****

The first thing Harry became conscious of was a dull throbbing in his head. He moaned at the little pain, and he moved his arm to touch his head. His arm felt odd. In fact, his entire body didn't feel right. It felt different somehow. He wriggled on the bed and felt silky fabric brush against his bottom.

Harry opened his eyes slowly. He was looking at the inside of a canopy, but this wasn't his bed at Hogwarts. The events from last night slowly returned to him...he lowered his head. His eyes bulged in shock. He was completely naked, and there was drying blood on his stomach.

"W-What!" he yelled as he jolted up on the bed, his eyes still staring at the blood on him. A high, cold laugh caught his attention.

"It was worth the wait!" Tom Riddle laughed as he clapped his hands. He sat across from the bed on a comfy sofa chair, and he wore fancy black robes. Behind him, the balcony window gave view of a mid afternoon sky. Harry briefly wondered how long he had been unconscious.

"What did you do to me?" Harry screamed angrily. His body was a little bigger than he remembered, and there were some unpalatable tastes in his mouth. His eyes trailed down from his stomach to his private parts, and his expression turned from shock to that of disgust. What was that? Tom followed his gaze and smirked.

"I had to make you a few years older in order to collect a certain liquid," he explained smugly. "I needed it for a spell. The potion should have worn off by now, and you should be back in the body of a twelve year old. The only explanation I see for this is that the spell freezes the body at the current age. We both will never experience a gray hair. Just be glad you will not be spending an eternity as a child and that your voice is not cracking. I do not think I would have been able to handle your whiny voice. But do not worry; that's not your blood on your stomach. It's mine."

"What spell is this?" Harry demanded. He was confused at Tom's words. He brought his knees up to his chin to hide as much of his body as he could. The sides of Tom's mouth curled. Harry was breathing heavily; how he wished he could punch that smirk off his face!

"Immortality," Tom replied happily. Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

"Immortality?" he said.

"Yes, Harry," Tom said. "Our souls are attached to our bodies in three areas: the brain, the heart, and the reproductive organs. This spell seals the soul in those three areas. Nothing can tear the soul out. Not even the Killing Curse. Yes, there's a Killing Curse, Harry."

"So nothing can kill us," Harry said slowly. "Not even if our hearts explode or something? What if we were torn limb from limb?"

Tom's eyes twinkled dangerously. "Would you like me to experiment?" he asked. He pulled out Harry's wand and pointed it at him.

"No thank you," Harry said as he eyed the wand. How was he ever going to get it back? "There really is a spell for immortality?"

"Yes, but it was not known to the public," Tom said. "I was honored to see it before Grindelwald died."

"Grindelwald..." Harry said under his breath. The name sounded familiar, and after a moment, he understood who the wizard was. "Dumbledore defeated him!"

"And this is his manor we are in," Tom added.

"He gave the manor to you?"

"No, but his son was the last member of the family to live here. That is, until we arrived early this morning."

"You killed his son?" Harry gasped.

"Grindelwald's son was insane and old," Tom explained in a mockingly gentle voice. "I was only doing him a favor by ending his suffering." A chuckle escaped Tom's lips.

Harry raised his eyebrows. How could anyone murder so easily and talk about it so calmly? Are you human? Harry wondered.

"So you just go in to people's homes, kill them, and then take their places?" Harry asked, seething. His eyes burned into Tom's face, but his angry expression did nothing to intimidate Tom.

"Yes, that's basically it," Tom said casually. "Now we must get down to business. You are not allowed out of this manor. I took the time while you were napping to ensure that you do not get away. I have placed wards all around the house. They will only affect you. This room and the bathroom are the only places you can enter on this level. The first floor is completely out of bounds, and you will only be able to access certain rooms on the second floor, such as the dining room, and only on my command. Don't bother trying to escape from the balcony." He pointed at the window behind him. "I have placed wards over it as well."

Harry simply stared at him. "What am I going to do here in the meantime?" he finally spoke up.

"Stay here until I find my older self," Tom replied.

"Your older self?"

"Yes, Harry. What did you think I was going to do with you for an eternity?" Tom said, and his sinister eyes flashed with amusement. "I have to put up with you for quite a long time, so I might as well use you for anything that will benefit me."

"You're not letting me go, ever?" Tom laughed again.

"Oh, absolutely not, little Potter!" Tom replied in a high-pitched, sardonic tone. "I enjoy your company so much that I absolutely cannot give you away. I must have you all to myself!"

Harry wanted to kick himself for asking such a stupid question. "What happened after I passed out?" he asked.

"I let the basilisk loose in the school," Tom responded happily.

Harry felt a chill run down his spine that had nothing to do with the fact that he was naked. "Ron," he gasped under his breath. Losing Ginny was hard enough. What if he also lost one of his best friends?

Tom continued to observe his worried face until he was satisfied. Then he stood up. "I assume you would like to wash yourself off. You're a mess," Tom said. "The bathroom is right across from this room. When you are done, you can pick out robes from this closest. I doubt Grindelwald's old robes will fit you, but you might find something fitting from his wife Aderyn's collection." He smirked at the thought of Harry wearing a woman's robes. He left before Harry could retort.

Harry stayed where he was for a few minutes to make sure that Tom was really gone from the room. Then he quickly got up and dashed for the bathroom. He almost tripped on himself a couple times on his way there. He was not used to his new height.

From the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door, Harry observed his new body. He had grown a few inches, but he was still shorter than Tom. How old was his body? Fifteen? Sixteen? He couldn't tell, but he grudgingly had to agree with Tom that at least his voice did not crack when he spoke.

He traced his hand over the smear Tom had left of his own blood. He recognized the symbol from his past classes: infinity. Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine his life up to this point and having to repeat everything over and over and over...

He imagined living in this manor, waking up every morning and knowing that he was caged inside with only a balcony window to look out of and watch life go by. He imagined being dragged to Lord Voldemort, having his innards taken out, his body used for anything the bastards wanted from him. Day in and day out he would lay on a corner, torn apart but still alive and conscious of every wave of excruciating pain. In the meantime, the two Dark Lords would laugh and give another toast to their job well done after conquering the wizarding world...

Harry turned the bathroom door lock and headed to the shower. He was breathing heavily, and his body was shaking with fury. He turned on the water, grabbed a bar of soap nearby, and for one second, he contemplated throwing the bar at the mirror with all his might. But he held on to it; even if the door was locked, Tom could easily magic it open, and Harry had very few objects to defend himself.

He kept one eye on the door. There was no telling what else Tom Riddle was capable of doing, and Harry didn't want to be attacked while showering. While he vigorously scrubbed the mess off himself, Harry tried his best not to think of Ron, Ginny, and what danger Hogwarts was in. He tried his best not to think about how much better death would be compared to living an eternity in pain.

When he was done showering, Harry was faced with a new problem. In his anger, he had forgotten to ask for a towel to dry himself with. The only towel in the bathroom was a washcloth that could not wrap around his waist.

What does it matter? Harry thought grumpily. He's already seen me down there.

He did more than see, a voice in the back of Harry's head reminded him. He shook the thought away and ran back to the master bedroom. Thankfully, Tom was not in there, so Harry dropped the towel and rummaged through the closet. He found one of Aderyn's old robes and threw it on.

There was no way of telling that Harry was wearing a woman's robes; that was one small mercy, at least. It was black and plain except for a simple design on the collar made of miniature onyx jewels. The robe was a little too wide at the waist, so Harry hunted for a sash to put around himself.

"I see that you are done dressing."

Tom's voice startled Harry. He whipped around, but Tom did not curse him like Harry had anticipated. Instead Tom traced the doorway with his wand, and a thin trail of fire trailed behind the wand's path. Harry tensed; was Tom planning on burning him? Time passed, but the fire did not spread. It vanished, and the doorway looked normal once more. "I am locking you in while I head out for a while."

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Harry said, glaring at Tom.

"Just sit and wait," Tom replied, as though that was the most obvious answer in the world.

"You're just going to trap me in here whenever you want?"

"I do not see any other alternative."

Harry screamed, grabbed one of the trinkets from the nearby drawer, and threw it at Tom with all his might. The object hit an invisible barrier in the doorway, bounced back, and slammed Harry squarely on the nose. Harry cursed loudly.

Tom laughed. "Take care not to break every bone in your body. I might need one of two of them later on."

And with that, he left. Harry ran to the doorway and pounded on the barrier. It didn't budge. What if a real fire starts, and I'm trapped in here? Harry thought. He briefly imagined an eternal life as a pile of ash.

He turned to the balcony window and tried opening it, but that yielded no success. All he could do was pull the curtains open to let some sun into the grim room. Dozens of trees greeted his eyes. The manor was surrounded by them. Where was he? From what Harry could see, there was no way any human would pass by, no person for Harry to send signals to for help.

He fell to the floor, and he hunted frantically for a loose floorboard. He pounded on the floor in hopes of finding a way to crawl to the second level. It was a crazy thought, but anything was worth it if it meant escaping. He could find nothing, and a nagging thought in the back of his head told him that he was never going to get away. Tom had made sure of that; he was several steps ahead of Harry.

He pulled out ever drawer in the room and dug for anything he could use to protect himself against Tom. He searched frantically in the closet, in the bedside cabinets, and under the beds. All he could find were clothes and other normal objects every bedroom had, none of which could cause damage. What if Tom has taken away anything in the room that could be used against him? Harry wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

Harry pulled out an old cleaning rag. He sighed and stared at it for a couple of minutes. There was nothing else to do, so he vigorously wiped away at the dirt in the room.

When Harry got tired of cleaning, he threw the rag away. He stood up, flopped down on the same sofa chair Tom had been sitting on not too long ago, and stared at out the window to a world he might never see again.

***

Tom found a fat mouse scampering about in the kitchen. He Stunned it and stuffed the critter into his right pocket before leaving the manor. After taking a breath of fresh air, Tom spoke into the wind."Come to me," he said in Parseltongue. "I am here. Come." He waited. A slight slithering sound reached his ears, and he looked around him. A grass snake was making its way towards him.

"Hello," said the snake while it looked at Tom curiously. "I have never met a human who could speak my tongue."

Tom smiled and crouched down next to the snake. "I am a very special wizard," he said. The snake's tongue darted out, sniffing the air. Its head tilted towards Tom's right pocket. "I would appreciate your assistance, if you are willing to help me." The snake turned its attention back to Tom's face.

"What is it you wish from me?" it asked.

"I want to locate someone," Tom explained. "His name is Lord Voldemort, and he too can speak your tongue."

"What does this human look like?

" the snake asked. "Where does he live?"

"How he looks does not matter

," Tom said after a while. He wasn't certain how Lord Voldemort looked after the incident with Harry last year. "I do not know where he is either. If you ask the other snakes, I am sure you will eventually find him. He adores snakes, so there would be many out there who have spoken with him. He is not feeling well these days, and I sure he will be close to snakes to keep him company."

"I must ask around until I find a snake that has heard of him," said the snake. "It's an easy enough task. There are not many humans out there that can speak to snakes. I will do my best to find your friend, and I will get back to you as soon as I get any information."

"Thank you," Tom said, giving the snake another smile. He produced the mouse from his pockets. The mouse was stirring from the Stunning Spell, and it squeaked loudly and tried to escape when it noticed its situation. Tom showed the mouse to the snake. "Here is a token of thanks for your help."

"That is kind of you," the snake hissed contently. Tom dropped the mouse, and the snake constricted its tail tightly around the doomed rodent.

Tom stood up and walked away from the snake. He took his time walking to the nearest Muggle town so he could enjoy the scenery around him. As he reached the town, Tom observed the men passing by. He pointed the wand at himself and his robes morphed into modern clothes similar to the ones the men wore.

The Muggle town looked different compared to the last time Tom had been in town. The automobiles were designed differently and painted in many vibrant colors. The women wore pants all the time like the men. Tom thought this was a very peculiar and unnatural thing. Did men start wearing skirts and dresses in this age?

Muggles were still in their love affair with electricity and electrical devices. There were even shops solely dedicated to these silly gadgets.

Ahead of Tom was the library, and he could not resist taking a peek inside. He spotted a few peculiar objects known as computers. What are they used for, he wondered.

As he pondered this, he made his way to the science section. He pulled out books about recent scientific studies and browsed through them to see what the Muggles have been up to in the past fifty years. Under the computer section, he found a book on BASIC language.

He snorted as he skimmed through the pages. The silliness Muggles occupy themselves with these days! Tom laughed to himself. He put the book back in its shelf.

A child's crying averted Tom's attention when he stepped out of the library. A small boy was sitting with his family outside a nearby restaurant, and the boy was whining to his parents that he did not want to eat his meal. Tom raised an eyebrow. Had that boy lived during the war, he would have devoured all the food in sight.

Must there be war for the little brats to be appreciative of what they have? Tom thought a little bitterly.

The aroma was very alluring, so Tom inched closer to the restaurant, slowly making his way to the back. His stomach grumbled. He decided that he would have whatever this restaurant had to offer. After checking that no one was around, he pulled out his wand.

***

The setting sun was sinking below the horizon when Harry heard a door slam a couple stories below; Tom had just entered the manor. Harry stiffened in his chair. He turned around and faced the doorway to make sure that Tom would not hex him from behind.

"Missed me?" Tom said mockingly as he undid the magical ward around the doorway.

"I missed you so much I didn't know what to do with myself," Harry grumbled.

"Good," Tom replied coldly. "I have prepared dinner, if you are interested."

With all of his worries about Ron and escaping the manor, food hadn't crossed Harry's mind. He was a little thankful he would not be starved, at least not tonight. He left the room and looked to his left. There was an entire hallway there, but when he went to explore, his face smashed against the invisible barrier. He was blocked from that entire section of the house. Did that mean that he would be sleeping in the master bedroom?

He turned back around and made his way cautiously down the flight of stairs. Was the entire house this dark? With an outstretched hand, Harry felt his way around the house. Tom was not there to guide him, so he was on his own. He bumped into more invisible barriers before his nose finally caught the aroma of the meal.

He entered the dining room. Tom was already eating, paying very little attention to Harry. Harry's plate was waiting for him across from Tom. As he took his seat, Harry could feel Tom's eyes on him.

The meal before Harry seduced him; he hadn't realized how hungry he was until now. However, he didn't pick up his fork.

"How did you get this?" he asked Tom. "You don't have money to pay for all this." When he saw the sides of Tom's mouth curl, his anger rose. "You didn't kill someone, did you?" Tom just laughed and continued eating. Harry wanted to throw his plate at Tom's face, but when he looked down, his stomach protested. It was best to put that food in his stomach instead.

He grabbed the fork, then hesitated. He looked up at Tom again.

"I didn't poison it," Tom said casually. "Are you going to eat at all?"

"I'm not hungry," Harry said stubbornly. His stomach protested again, begging to be filled. Just one little bite, Harry thought. Nothing more. He cut a small piece of his steak and put it in his mouth. He savored the rich taste. Before he knew what he was doing, he was already cutting up another piece. Just one more bite, he promised himself. He ate another piece, then another, then another...

"Not hungry, he says," Tom said, chuckling to himself as he watched Harry devour his dinner.

***

Harry stayed in his seat long after he was done eating. He felt stupid just sitting there. He wasn't sure what to do next. Many places in the manor were sealed away from him; was there any other room he was allowed in?

He finally decided to explore around. He left the dining room and banged into something he could not make out in the darkness. How the hell could Tom see his way through?

He's used to the darkness, Harry thought. He lives in darkness. He is darkness. Minutes later, after banging into more objects and invisible wards, Harry finally saw a small ray of light being emitted from between the cracks of two huge doors. When he got closer, Harry realized the doors belonged to a library; the contours of an engraved open book on the door could be vaguely discerned in the hallway. The floor beneath his feet creaked.

Before Harry could try opening the door, it slammed open. Tom stared down at him with dangerous eyes. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. The spacious room inside was lit by numerous candles.

"I just wanted a book to read," Harry said bitterly. "I can't even do that now?"

Tom sighed impatiently as though Harry was taking away precious time from whatever Tom was doing. He stretched out his hand and muttered "Accio fiction book." Without even looking at the cover, he thrust the novel at Harry and slammed the door closed.

"How am I supposed to read this in the darkness?" Harry yelled. The door opened and a lit candle with its holder flew out. Harry caught it just before it fell to the floor. The small fire was not extinguished.

Must be lit magically, Harry thought.

He made his way back up to his room without as much difficulty as before. The balcony windows gave him a view to a summer night sky dotted with many stars. Harry could tell that they were very far from any Muggle towns since the stars were so easily visible without streetlights or light from houses to obscure them.

Harry settled back on the sofa chair and looked at the book cover. It was titled The Enchantress and the Unicorn, and the cover showed a beautiful maiden with long wavy hair wearing a simple white dress. She was merrily playing with her hair while a unicorn nearby was grazing on the grass. Harry blushed slightly. It was a feminine book, something from Aderyn's collection.

Harry doubted Tom would agree to give him another book to read, so he flipped to the first chapter and began to read. The story wasn't bad, but Harry wasn't interested in stories about young maidens and their loyal pets going on sugary adventures. He was repeatedly reminded of the girly cartoon shows Dudley constantly made fun of.

Harry's lips trembled slightly. How were his relatives going to take the news of his abduction? He had never thought he would wish this, but Harry wished he could go back to his relative's place instead of being here. He had finally found a place he hated more than the Dursley's residence.

He continued reading. It wasn't until he reached the third chapter that Harry realized the story was not as innocent as he had originally perceived it. The narration went on to detail activities that, after taking a closer look at the words, Harry realized were not innocent at all. He looked back at the front cover and gasped. What's she doing to that unicorn's horn?

He threw the raunchy book aside, blushing. He had had enough of reading for tonight. He got up and threw himself down on the bed. He covered his eyes with his arms and tried to forget the activity he had just read about. How could anyone be so vulgar with unicorns?

Grindelwald and Aderyn were a Dark wizard and witch he answered himself. They had sick interests.

He heard footsteps, and he lifted his arm from his eyes. Tom had entered the bedroom, and he was resealing the ward in the room. Harry quickly sat up.

"What are you doing here?" he said. Tom looked at him.

"It's my house," he said. "I can do whatever I want."

"It's my room," Harry retorted. Tom smirked.

"It's my room, little Potter," Tom corrected. Harry's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Where's my room then?" he asked.

Tom gestured around the room. "I will allow you to sleep here," he said.

"Here? On the same bed?" Harry said, not believing this. He wanted to be as far away from Tom as possible.

"The bed is very big, in case you haven't noticed," Tom said coldly. "Be grateful I am not forcing you to sleep on the floor or the sofa like the dog that you are. I've bothered myself with you enough already."

Harry began to understand. Tom had indeed taken the time to make sure he took out anything in the room that might have been used against him. He didn't want to waste his time cleaning out another room. And that was why Harry was allowed dinner; Tom didn't want to hear Harry's stomach.

Anything that makes me uncomfortable is fine with Tom, even sharing the same bed, Harry thought. "What if I have to use the bathroom sometime during the night?"

"Hold it in until the morning," Tom answered.

That's stupid! Harry thought angrily. "I'll pee on the bed!" he warned loudly. Before he knew it, Tom pointed the wand between Harry eyes.

"If you are idiotic enough to do that," Tom said threateningly, "I will cut off everything down there! Your penis and your testicles!" Harry instinctively crossed his legs.

Tom then did something that surprised Harry: he threw the wand on the bed. After taking some clothes from the closet, Tom left for the bathroom.

Harry stared at his wand. It was just a few inches away from him. How could Tom be so careless? He reached out his hand. He gave a little scream when his fingers brushed against the wand, and he yanked his hand away. The wand was extremely hot, as though it had just been taken out of a furnace. Harry blew on the little burn wound. Now he knew why Tom had thrown the wand towards him, the bastard.

Tom returned wearing a long nightshirt. With one look at Harry, Tom understood what had just happened. He laughed lightly, and Harry shot him a filthy look. Tom ignored him as he settled on the bed and placed the wand on the bedside cabinet next to him. Harry edged as far as he could away from Tom without falling off the bed. Thankfully, Tom did not talk to him; his back was turned towards him.

Harry looked down at his own robes. Although it was a simple outfit, it was not appropriate to sleep in. He wasn't sure if he should risk getting up and disturbing Tom. Instead, he wiggled under the sheets, took off the sash and robe, and rolled them into a ball. He kept them close by so Tom wouldn't steal them the next morning. He took off his glasses and placed them on the bedside cabinet next to him.

Hours passed, and Harry was still awake. His mind was too aware of the situation he was in: abducted, naked, immortal, his friends in danger, his enemy sleeping a couple of feet from him...

Tom was sleeping perfectly fine. He had no worries about Harry hurting him. He had taken away every possible weapon from Harry. Harry was a prisoner in this grim house.

He listened to the slow rhythmic breathing from the sleeping Tom. Soon the breathing was all he heard. His eyes began to droop. Tom's breathing rocked him gently to sleep.

***

Harry was sitting on a simple grey bed with thin sheets. A book lay open on his knees, and his attention was absorbed in the pages. The words were blurry, but Harry somehow knew that the story was interesting.

A voice averted his attention, and he looked up. A woman, blurry around the edges, was standing in the doorway. She was telling him something he could not comprehend, but Harry nodded his head. It felt like the most appropriate action.

The woman left and an old man stepped in. Harry gaped slightly at the sight of a young Albus Dumbledore smiling at him. His long hair and beard was auburn, and he wore a suit made of plum velvet. The colors of his hair and suit clashed vividly.

Harry's eyes returned to Professor Dumbledore's face. He was talking, but the words did not reach Harry's ears. Professor Dumbledore stretched out his hand, and after hesitating for a moment, Harry took it.

***

Harry woke up right away, grinning. Had he just dreamt of a Dumbledore fifty years younger? What was that plum suit all about?

He would wear something like that, Harry thought dreamily. What a silly dream! Nonetheless, it made him a little bit happier than he had been a couple of hours ago.

The wall before him was basked in a dark blue light. It was early morning, and Harry had a few hours left before the day started. Still smiling, he closed his eyes and reentered sleep.

***

At that same moment, Tom opened his eyes. Where did that dream come from? He had been dreaming of when he had first met Dumbledore, yet there was no alteration or exaggeration of the actual events as there tended to be in dreams. It was almost like he was reliving the past...

Tom snorted and closed his eyes. It's just a stupid dream. There's no significance whatsoever to this. He went back to sleep.