Killing Me Softly

Chapter Two
Blood, Seed, and Venom

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
-"Change" by Deftones

*****

While Tom Riddle was still a student at Hogwarts, the Dark wizard Grindelwald led a reign of terror in the magical communities all over Europe. His actions mirrored those of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini's regime. He maintained that Mudbloods were walking all over the wizarding world. They were snatching jobs right from underneath the purebloods' noses, he claimed, and what with the already deteriorating economy from the Great Depression, the idea of reserving jobs only for the pureblood race was appealing.

Tom had the honor of meeting Grindelwald during the summer of the year 1943, the summer after Tom's fifth year. Tom had finally opened the Chamber of Secrets and murdered his father by that time.

Dark witches and wizards had heard of Tom's name from his classmates. Tom was, after all, the top student in Hogwarts. He was highly skilled in magic beyond his grade level, and his pursuit of the Dark Arts had not escaped the Slytherin dormmates' attention. Many students were attracted to Tom by his intelligence, charisma, and good looks, and their high praises about the enigmatic orphaned wizard had eventually reached Grindelwald's ears.

The Dark wizard grew an interest in the boy from the stories he heard. Tom Riddle was clearly a very gifted young man, and his interest in the Dark Arts made him a high candidate to become part of Grindelwald's army. The only problem was Tom's age. He was too young for Grindelwald to accept him, and he was certain that the boy did not want to attract attention from his teachers. Grindelwald highly valued education, so he wanted the boy to continue on with his schooling.

Nonetheless, he invited Tom to his manor for a fortnight. Tom was pleased to learn that he would be spending two weeks less in the orphanage. As he unpacked his trunk in the guest room, he made a mental note to reward Lestrange, Avery, and Black for their work. He realized that he could use them to help him get anything he wanted.

Grindelwald's manor was located deep within the Galloway Forest Park. Various spells and wards were set up around the manor to ensure that no one could find it. The manor was immensely important to Aurors of that time. It was common knowledge that Grindelwald was an inventor, and many of his magical inventions were sold in the black market. One could only speculate what other spells, potions, and little gadgets the Dark wizard worked on in his manor.

Tom did not get a chance to look inside Grindelwald's workroom, but he did get a chance to glimpse a very interesting spell in one of his notebooks. It was during the second to last day of Tom's visit. The living room in which he and Grindelwald sat was cozy. The curtains were halfway drawn, and the sunlight shining in cast a soft orange glow on the cherry wood table and bookshelves lining the walls.

"Is it true you taught a class once?" Grindelwald said. The Dark wizard was tall and slightly hunchbacked due to many hours of constantly working on potions, and his small, beady eyes made him resemble a hawk. He watched Tom, who was enjoying the gentle breeze sweeping in from the open window, closely.

"Yes, sir," Tom said. "Professor Merrythought and I had a little quarrel in class." He casually traced little circles on the couch arm with a long finger. "I disagreed with her on how to handle a kappa. She challenged me to go teach the class if I were so inclined to share with them my views, and I took her offer right away. She was surprised by my actions. I daresay she was only joking about me teaching the class." Grindelwald chuckled.

"A true Slytherin," he commented.

You have no idea, Tom thought. His eyes gleamed. I am the decedent of Salazar Slytherin from my mother's side.

"I hear that the Chamber of Secrets was opened this year," Grindelwald continued. "It is not a myth after all."

"Yes sir," Tom replied, trying his best to hide a smile. "It is unfortunate that the attacks had to stop. From the rumors I heard, the school was close to being closed. It would be unfair to prevent the pureblood students from continuing on their education. At the same time, it is unfortunate that only one Mudblood was murdered."

Grindelwald nodded slowly, an amused look on his face. "Always speak your mind, do you?" he said. "Intelligent, witty, cunning…you would have made any pureblood family proud. You are certainly better than my own son."

He shot a distasteful look behind Tom. He followed Grindelwald's gaze and found a figure hidden in the shadows in the far corner of the room. Grindelwald's son appeared to be mumbling to himself.

"A Squib," Grindelwald informed Tom. "I have not detected any magical ability in him, and he has not done anything remotely magical in his life. And he is insane. People his age normally have jobs and children by now."

"Why not just dispose of him?" Tom asked. He continued to watch the Squib for a little while before turning back to Grindelwald.

"He might come in handy," Grindelwald explained. "There is a very slight chance I may need his assistance in a spell I am currently working on, one which will grant immortality."

"Immortality?" Tom said. He kept his face straight, but he leaned slightly forward in his seat. "But aren't Horcruxes used for this purpose?"

He didn't want to waste his five years worth of effort hunting for the Chamber of Secrets. He had come across the word while pouring through Dark Arts books, and he had deeply considered making one … or more. The idea of preserving a part of one's soul in an inanimate object was appealing, and preserving parts of himself into more than one inanimate object could provide him the maximum strength. However, Grindelwald was frowning.

"I do not recommend it," Grindelwald said. "Horcruxes can be destroyed, and the soul inside the Horcrux is forever shattered. Unlike most deaths that occur, the soul from a Horcrux does not move on to the afterlife. It disintegrates."

"But if the Horcrux is safely kept and guarded with many magical wards, then there is no fear of losing the soul," Tom argued.

"Do you wish to gain immortality?" Grindelwald asked. His eyes bore into Tom's face. "You appear to have given this a lot of thought."

"I am fascinated by the study of the Dark Arts," Tom simply said. A tense silence followed between the two wizards. Grindelwald continued watching Tom closely for a while. He suddenly stood up.

"Wait here," he said. He left the room and did not return for about five minutes. In his hands he held a thick notebook. Without saying anything, he flipped to the correct page and handed it to Tom.

"These are the notes for the immortality spell I am working on," Grindelwald explained. "There is still much work to be done, but I feel this will be the better alternative for many dark witches and wizards who wish to seek immortality."

Tom skimmed through the notes. Only the description of the spell was written down, but from what Tom read, there appeared to be no risks, unlike the Horcrux or Philosopher's Stone. Apparently it was to be an easy spell to perform, and the realization that he was holding the object that would easily grant him immortality excited Tom.

"This is an amazing invention, sir," Tom said. His hands shook as he held the leather bound book. He looked up to meet Grindelwald's eyes again.

"You will need a partner," Grindelwald said, "and I have already chosen mine."

"Partners?" Tom repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"I recently discovered this during my research," Grindelwald said. "I haven't written it down yet, but from my experiments, it appears that this spell requires the participation of two individuals that share a bond." Tom pondered the words in his mind.

"How strong must the bond between the individuals be?" he asked.

"Very strong," Grindelwald said. "You will be living for an eternity, so who you wish to bring into eternity must be considered deeply. People around you will eventually die; keep that in mind. The person you wish to immortalize must be someone you want to live with for a very, very long time, and you can only bring this one person. Surely you have a close friend or lover? From what I hear, many people admire you."

Tom was indeed admired by many classmates and teachers. Many of his dormmates had proven to be useful, but he could not see himself spending an eternity with any of them. They weren't as smart as he was by a long shot, and although he never made it public, he was annoyed by their presence on many occasions. If it weren't for him, none of his classmates would be able to pass half their classes. And a woman…he could not imagine dragging one of those nagging, whiny creatures along with him.

"There is no chance I can be your partner?" Tom asked. "You cannot undergo the ritual twice?"

"No, I can't," Grindelwald said, and he suddenly looked a little tense and uncomfortable. "I'm sure there is someone you can partner with."

"I will think about the matter," Tom said a little bitterly. He didn't have to ask who Grindelwald had chosen. As Tom handed back the notebook to Grindelwald, a short, stout witch entered with tea. For the remainder of the afternoon, Tom eyed Grindelwald's wife as he sipped his tea. A very useful spell was gone to waste thanks to her influence on Grindelwald, but it did not matter. Tom had other ways to achieve immortality, and he was going to use every spell imaginable to guard his Horcruxes…

***

Not everyone had approved of Grindelwald's mission. He had been defeated and killed in 1945 by none other than Albus Dumbledore, three days after Hitler had committed suicide. Grindelwald, unfortunately, had not yet made himself immortal.

Grindelwald's wife, Aderyn, had been the Secret Keeper for the location of his manor. She had died shortly after Grindelwald's defeat after being taken for investigation; before the Aurors could force the information out from her mind, she had killed herself. The secret of the manor's location was kept safe.

Tom assumed that the manor's location was still a secret. From his readings, he had not found any information about the manor having been searched by Aurors.

Love is a delusional force that blinds people to what they can achieve, Tom thought bitterly as more of the memory resurfaced in his mind. I could have helped Grindelwald had he chosen me. I could have helped him perfect the spell easily! He would not have died two years later! He tightened his hold on the boy in his arms.

Love is only for fools and the weak, he thought angrily. Tom had pushed the memory away from his mind, but he was glad the memory had returned to him now. He had found a person he did not mind dragging into eternity with him, even if that person was a little brat. He had other uses in mind for little Harry.

The Thestral arrived at their destination. Tom looked up at Grindelwald's manor, grinning. Tom had worried that he would not be able to see the manor after all these years, that Grindelwald may have added more protection after Tom's visit, but he encountered no difficulty. The manor was still visible to him, and he was certain no one from Dumbledore's side had known about the home's location. Dumbledore would have destroyed the manor had he known where it was. Tom could almost feel the protection around the manor. Situated on a hill and surrounded by tall trees, the beautiful manor was still Unplottable and protected by the Fidelius Charm.

Tom settled Harry on the Thestral's back before dismounting. "Thank you," he whispered to the Thestral. He lifted the Disillusionment Charm off the Thestral, but kept the spell on Harry and himself. "Go back now. I will not need you from here on." He cast Mobilicorpus once again on Harry. He made his way to the manor, but stopped once he reached the entrance door. There were soft noises within; someone was still living here.

He crept to the nearest window and peered inside. There was an old man walking about on a limp. Tom realized that this must be Grindelwald's shameful son. He was still alive.

The old Squib was shaking his head as though irritated, mumbling under his breath. Crazy old fool. From the state of the dark house inside, Tom assumed that the Squib was alone. But even if there were others inside, Tom could deal with them.

With a flick of his wand, Harry fell onto the ground. Tom ran to the entrance door, flung it open, and ran in right in front of the mad old man.

"Who are you?" squeaked the Squib. His eyes popped open as he looked around madly for what had just burst in.

"Your fairy godmother, of course – Avada Kedavra!" The Squib didn't have a second to react; his body hit the dusty floor with a thud. Tom listened intently for any sound in case someone had heard him yelling, but no one was there. He pointed his wand at himself and his body's true colors returned.

Tom crouched down to examine the old man's wrinkled face. This was the first time he had ever taken a good look at Grindelwald's son. He vaguely remembered the insane man having dark hair like his mother, but now it had gone mostly white. He must be around his seventies if he had been middle-aged fifty years ago.

"It's been a while," Tom muttered to himself. Tapping the tip of his wand against the Squib's forehead, Tom muttered a spell, and the man turned into an old brown shoe.

"Wingardium Leviosa." He took the shoe outside, used another spell to dig a hole in the ground, and buried the shoe. The sky was gradually turning lighter and bluer; Tom supposed it must be early morning right now. Tom turned to the still unconscious Harry. He lifted the Disillusionment Charm off Harry before floating him back inside the manor.

Aside from the dust and cobwebs gathering inside, the manor was just how Tom remembered it from when he had visited Grindelwald. The first floor was composed of a sitting room, laundry room, storage room, and laboratory. Tom ascended the stairs to the second floor to examine the living room and kitchen. Somewhere far from the stairway was the library. He ascended the next flight of stairs.

The landing led him to a dim hallway. The master bedroom was on his left, the bathroom on his right. The hallway extended a little bit after that before taking a turn to the right, leading Tom to a hallway with many doors. The room he had stayed in before was behind one of those doors.

But Tom walked into the master bedroom instead. From the dust and cobwebs that greeted him, he could tell it was not used by the son. There were still little trinkets lying around that were previously owned by Grindelwald and his wife. He set Harry on the master bed.

The dust and cobwebs were almost unbearable here. He wrinkled his nose and covered his face with his hands to prevent more dust from coming near. He had already coughed several times before he managed to cast a spell to clear the dust. He wasn't able to clear everything away, but it would do.

How could the Squib stand living in this place? Weren't there any house-elves still living in the manor? Tom didn't see any on his way to the bedroom; the last one that had lived here must have died a long time ago, he figured. He cast a Sedative Spell on Harry and swiftly left the room.

Tom made his way back to the second floor. He had a hunch he knew where Grindelwald had kept his notebook. He ran to the library and was greeted with more cobwebs and dust, so he cast another cleaning spell to clear them out as best as he could. His eyes scanned for any little indication of a hidden small compartment. He was quite certain Grindelwald would hide the notebook away in such a manner. The notebook, after all, did contain a lot of Dark Arts material.

Tom felt around the library, paying close attention to find any strong bit of magic, such as a Concealing Charm. He used his wand on any thing on the wall, no matter how small, that looked as though a small compartment could be hidden behind or around it. After finishing with the wall, he examined the floor, then finally the ceiling.

"Alohomora!" he said as he pointed his wand at a suspicious-looking area of the ceiling. The flap fell down, but no book fell out from the hidden compartment. Tom swore under his breath. Was the notebook discovered? No, Grindelwald must have relocated it.

He ran out the library and continued his search aggressively throughout the house. He took so many hours searching every nook and cranny that he even had to go back to the master bedroom to redo the Sedative Spell on Harry.

One hour afterwards, Tom finally found the notebook in the laundry room. It was hidden deep underneath the floor, wrapped in a special casing that protected it from any water damage. Hands shaking, Tom produced the notebook from the casing and held it in his arms. He had finally found it!

Tom sat on a sofa in the living room and skimmed through the pages until he found what he was looking for. Some of the notes were vaguely recognizable, and others must have been written down after Tom's meeting with Grindelwald.

This ritual guarantees immortality to those who seek it. It must be performed between two individuals with a special bond, Tom read. Of course he and Harry had a special bond. The brat had crossed paths with Tom and his older self on several occasions. The protection around Harry had nearly killed his older self. How much more special could a connection be?

Following these steps will bind the soul to the body of the witch or wizard in three areas of the body. Unlike Horcruxes, the soul cannot be torn away from the body. Even the Killing Curse will not destroy the witch or wizard because it cannot rip out the soul. The soul is sealed inside forever. Tom squeezed the sides of the notebook. The steps for the ritual followed. There were only three ingredients needed. However, Grindelwald had not made himself clear about what they were. Obviously he didn't need to be clear because this was his notebook, thus he knew perfectly what he was writing about. Instead of a list of ingredients, he wrote out only the phrases that Tom needed to chant during the ritual.

From your partner and yourself, fluid flowing down a branched river
From your partner and yourself, nectar from the source of life
From your partner and yourself, a thought mingled with the offering of an intelligent beast

The first line was easy. A branched river resembled the veins inside a human body. For the first step, he needed to use blood from both himself and Harry. Nectar from the source of life…was Grindelwald referring to the heart? That was impossible because the first line already referred to blood.

He frowned and closed his eyes. In his mind, he scanned down the human anatomy, searching for any other organ that was a source of life. And then it hit him.

The source of life referred to not the organ that gave life to the individual, but the organ that would produce the next life – the reproductive system.

But Tom was faced with a problem. Harry was only twelve, and from his looks he was certainly not an early bloomer.

"I will have to give him an Ageing Potion," Tom muttered to himself. Where was he going to get the ingredients? The Squib would not have replaced the magical plants and herbs, and the nearest apothecary was many miles away. Tom glanced at the last line of the chant. He decided to deal with the potion problem later.

From the many scratch-outs and rewritten notes on the margins, Tom could tell that Grindelwald had had trouble with the last line. One thing was clear: the final line referred to using the spell wizards used when retracting a thought before placing it into a Pensieve. How else was he going to retrieve a thought from Harry? The line didn't leave any indication of what kind or how much of a thought had to be taken out, so Tom assumed it would be all right to use a small amount. But what did Grindelwald mean by an offering of an intelligent beast?

Grindelwald had owned many birds. Tom remembered the many cages that had lined the walls of the hallways and the inside of the living room. There had been an Amazon grey, several crows and ravens, dozens of other wild and exotic wild birds, and one very exuberant budgerigar. Even his wife had resembled a bird. Grindelwald had also had a canary that always sat in a cage next to his favorite couch; the two had appeared to have a special bond.

A canary...their yellow feathers held magical properties that enhanced mental capacity.

Tom blinked. Mental capacity. That is what Grindelwald had meant by an intelligent beast! Most probably Grindelwald had been going to use the canary's feathers for the spell; he had picked an animal he'd had a connection with. What animal that Tom had a connection with had the ability to enhance mental capacity?

The answer was quite simple. Tom could speak to snakes, so he needed an offering from a snake that could increase mental capacity. His eyes roamed the living room and landed on the curtain tassels. The morning sun's rays shining on the tassels gave them an orange glow, and the rings of shadow across the length of the tassel looked as though they were bands. Black bands on orange, like a runespoor.

The runespoor egg held the ability to increase mental capacity. It was unfortunate that they were only sold on the black market, and in his current position, Tom could not buy them. However, runespoor venom could also affect mental agility if properly handled, and their venom could be bought from any apothecary.

He was back to the problem of getting the ingredients. The chirping outside from the local birds gave him an idea. He left the room and located a piece of parchment, quill, and bottle of ink. There was little ink left in the bottle, and it had dried up over the years. He magically refilled the bottle and wrote down several ingredients. Every now and then, he would pause to remember what else he needed, or he would go to the library and retrieve a potions book, or hunt for coins to pay for his purchase.

When he got his list ready, he went outside and scanned the trees surrounding him. He caught sight of several sparrows, bullfinches, and other little woodland birds. They were all too unreliable to deliver the letter due to their low intelligence and small size. Luckily he found a suitable bird nearby. It was a pigeon. His eyes focused on the bird.

Don't move, he commanded it. The pigeon did not fly away when he approached it. He stuck out his hand, and the pigeon obediently flew to him.

"Take this to the nearest apothecary," he told the bird as he showed the sealed envelope to it. The pigeon cooed, and Tom frowned slightly. While owl delivery was not uncommon, Tom didn't want to draw any attention to the bird, so he tapped his wand on the pigeon and it transfigured into a barn owl. It hooted, and Tom nodded, satisfied. He wrapped the note to its leg, and it flew off right away.

The owl did not return until about two hours later. Although it was mid-morning, Tom had not eaten. He kept going over Grindelwald's notes, rehearsing the lines in his head over and over. The page following the spell's description and chant contained a few sketches. Grindelwald had not made any note that these sketches were part of the spell, but on closer examination, Tom concluded that they were part of the ritual. He had to draw certain patterns over Harry's and his torsos before drinking the blood.

A hoot nearby roused him from his deep thought. The owl was looking at him from the living room window.

"Good girl," Tom congratulated softly as he took the basketful of potion ingredients, change in coins, and a small note from the apothecary thanking him for his purchase. There was a little popping sound, and the pigeon returned to its true form. It looked a little dazed at first, but it cooed and flew back to its tree.

Tom made his way to Grindelwald's workroom, his excitement slowly mounting with each step. The entire preparation took a couple of hours. He finally gave in to his hunger and wolfed down a slice of bread from the kitchen. The Squib did not have many food items in the kitchen, and Tom would have liked to make his first meal after leaving the diary extravagant. He decided he would bring more food in from the local town. Maybe he would sneak off meals from a fancy restaurant in celebration of becoming an immortal.

Harry was wriggling and moaning when Tom entered the bedroom. He cast another Sedative Spell upon him, and Harry stilled. As entertaining as it would be to watch Harry wake up in the middle of the procedure and see what was being done to him, Tom did not want to be disturbed.

Tom set the box and the wand aside on the space next to Harry's body. He moved his hands up to the boy's collar and slowly stripped Harry down before doing the same to himself. He sneered at the boy's thin body; he could crush the boy with his own hands. Reaching into the box, Tom produced a potion vial and brought it up to Harry's mouth. He tipped the vial, and a drop fell down Harry's throat. He let another drop fall, then another. With every drop from the potion, the boy's body slowly altered. His limbs grew longer, but Tom's attention was concentrated on Harry's private parts. When he was satisfied with the transformation, he set the potion aside and moved over so that he was straddling Harry.

"From your partner and yourself, fluid flowing down a branched river," Tom chanted. Immediately, he felt a foreboding air swirling about him and Harry. He produced a small knife and made an incision into his arm. He took the blood and smeared it around on Harry's torso in the same pattern as Grindelwald had sketched. He then cut Harry's arm and did the same to his own body. He went back to the cut he had made on Harry and made it deeper before lowering his head and sucking out the blood. When he was finished and had healed the wound, he did the same to himself and squeezed the blood from his arm out into Harry's mouth.

Tom gasped. Sudden pain shot out from his heart, and for several seconds the scene before his eyes blurred. The pain was gone as quickly as it had come. His heart felt stronger somehow…smiling, Tom moved on to the next stage.

"From your partner and yourself, nectar from the source of life." Tom had never been in a relationship, and he had never had any desires for anyone. But he had understood what went on down there when treated in a certain way. He had discovered this one summer in the orphanage when he was fourteen. The summer heat had been unbearable one night, so he had gotten undressed completely before going to bed. His private area had brushed against the fabric of the bed, and he had been surprised at the reaction his body had had to the contact. The sensation had been odd, but not unpleasant. Curious, Tom had explored this new sensation.

He had felt embarrassed and disgusted with himself afterwards. Soon after that night, he had heard about what his actions' consequences could be, and he had ceased repeating the activity since then.

"Imperio," he said, pointing his wand at Harry. Tom began to work on himself with one hand while the other hand continued to point the wand at Harry. He commanded the boy to do the same activity Tom himself had done on that summer night. He grinned as he watched the unconscious boy; he almost felt like reviving Harry just to see his face when he realized the embarrassing position he was in. But it was best to keep him unconscious. The next best thing would be to not clean him afterwards and watch him when he woke.

Tom pulled out two goblets from the box to collect the prizes from Harry and himself. After they were done drinking, Tom gasped painfully again. The same sharp, intense pain followed, but this time the pain was centered around that area. Tom almost collapsed; he grabbed himself down there and resisted a scream. Underneath him, Harry was withering. He, too, was feeling the pain.

When the stinging subdued, Tom took a moment to relax before moving on to the final part.

"From your partner and yourself, a thought mingled with the offering of an intelligent beast," Tom chanted. He took one of the potion vials that contained the runespoor venom. He brought his wand up to Harry's forehead and pulled out a thought as tiny as a raindrop. The drop fell into the vial, and Tom swallowed the entire vial, almost gagging at the taste. He brought the wand to his forehead and pulled out a tiny thought. He repeated the same steps, and once the last drop fell into Harry's mouth, the vial slipped from Tom's hands and clattered to the hard floor.

He screamed as blinding flash of light engulfed them. His brain was on fire, his skull was splitting into two…when the light died down, the pain also left, but Tom was feeling too weak to hold himself any longer. He collapsed over Harry, panting.

The spell had worked. Tom was sure of it. He could feel its effects all over his body. Everything in front of his eyes was sharper and more exciting to behold. Every breath of air felt refreshing. He lightly traced Harry's mouth with a long finger, smiling at the little tingles he received at the touch.

"Thank you, little Potter," Tom said, grinning madly. He slipped out of bed and looked down at Harry. He couldn't wait until he saw the look on Harry's face when he woke up.

Something was threatening to burst from inside Tom. He wiped at the blood he had drawn over his flat belly before making his way to the door.

Thankfully the old Squib had kept one of the bathrooms in decent shape over the years. It was clean and had a few shampoos and soaps ready to use.

Tom moaned happily as water droplets splashed over his skin. He ran his hands over his neck, chest, and stomach, sighing at every touch. He had never felt this ecstatic before. The thing he had been holding back erupted. He threw his head back and screamed with mirth. He had finally done it! He was immortal!