The Door to Chaos

Chapter 6 - House-Elf Pandemonium

"You." Riddick repeated. He felt strange, light-headed. And a strange electric and prickly sensation was running down his arm, as if there was something alien in his body. Something alife. And that something that was ... stretching? He looked at his hand and his arm seemed to rise of its own volition. Words hissed out of his mouth that he had not meant to speak.

"Traitor. How dare you spy on me! Did you think I wouldn't recognize your stench anywhere? Do you know what happens to bad house-elves that betray their families, Kreacher?"

Riddick watched astonished as his own hand shook the creature so hard that its ears flapped back and forth and its already bulbous eyes nearly popped from their sockets. Kreacher's mouth opened and closed, but all he managed to get out was a frightened croak with the voice of a panicky bullfrog.

"A house-elf!" exclaimed a delighted but astonished Slughorn. "But what has a house-elf to do in the Great Hall? Shouldn't it be somewhere hidden and doing some useful work, like, I don't know, cooking in the kitchens or cleaning or whatever house-elves do? It seems you know this creature. Is it yours?"

He watched Riddick with great interest, who in turn was ignoring Slughorn completely, pulled the struggling old elf very close to his face and growled.

"Yes Kreacher is mine, isn't he? What were you doing under my table, Kreacher?"

"Put him down! Err... I mean leave him be please, sir? He's my house-elf. I'm sorry if he bothered you. He is supposed to help in the kitchens, he should not be around here..."

The hell I'm going to do that!. I don't care for people spying on me, and I'm going to know what this... whatever can tell me.

Harry Potter had jogged up to the teachers' table now, and stared with something like mixed hate and pity at the shaking old elf. Kreacher was trembling so hard and his old body felt so bony and fragile in Riddick's hand that he half expected him to make a noise like a castanet . Riddick loosened his iron grip a little.

At Harry Potter's remark, Kreacher seemed to get his voice back. He muttered

"Kreacher is not a filthy half-blood's elf, oh no. The Master is back and Kreacher has to listen to him. Kreacher can smell the Master's pure blood even if Master has a new face."

And with a sort of horrified admiration the elf added, "Kreacher would like to know how the Master got back. He must be very powerful, nobody of the Noble and Most Ancient Hou-"

With growing anger and something like dread, Riddick watched his own hand move like a striking snake, clap over the elves mouth and muffle him.

What the fuck? I want to hear what its going to say. It was just going to tell me. I know who you are, you're this Sirius Black guy. Well I got some news for you. This is my body. And I'm not the sharing type. Get. The. Hell. Out.

Riddick struggled for control, he was so angry that he felt the furian powerflare igniting on his chest, the handprint burning under his skin. But still, even now, his head moved yet again and the stranger used his mouth for a whisper into the left bat-like, hairy ear.

"Finish that sentence and I kill you. You will obey Harry and you will not tell anybody what you know or what you guess. None of your tricks. This is a direct order, Kreacher."

Riddick let go of the elf, who fell on all fours and scrambled backwards to Harry Potter's side. Riddick did not care. He had more important things to do. Like getting the control over his own body back. He felt dirty, violated. He had not felt that bad since the first time he was sent to Slam. And he was more than angry. He was furious. The powerful spirit of Sirius Black retreated before that blazing fury as if burned. A lingering thought sat in Riddick's head like a message. *I don't like this anymore than you do, man. Consider this - if not for me, you wouldn't last one minute against a Death Eater, as your own, not inconsiderable talents, have never been trained.*

Riddick closed his eyes and grabbed his head with both hands, willing the stranger to leave. Just leave me the hell alone. He opened his eyes again and saw Harry Potter frowning down at Kreacher, who was now huddled at his feet and staring at Riddick with a sick mixture of longing, revulsion, admiration and terror.

"Go back to the kitchens, Kreacher. We will talk later."

The elf hesitated and looked at Riddick for confirmation. Grinding his teeth together, Riddick nodded.

Just great. Come back from the dead, have some fucking ghost hitch a ride and fool around with your head, and pathetic creatures with overlarge, hairy ears will think that you're the best news since the invention of laser-blasters.

With a loud cracking sound Kreacher disapparated. Or more to the point, most of him did. Whatever the reason - perhaps the elf's advanced age, or his current confused mind... anyhow, the elf's head was now rolling on the floor and it was still staring at Riddick.

A shocked Harry Potter watched the elf head wobbling from side to side before his feet. Horrified he looked up to the remaining two teachers.

"Oh no! He's splinched! I didn't know that house-elves COULD splinch. I mean, they're the only ones I know of that CAN apparate on the school grounds. What should I do now? Perhaps Madam Pomfrey...the nurse I mean... could..."

Slughorn looked down at the elf. "How very disgusting." He did not sound disgusted at all. He looked fascinated, Riddick thought. To tell the truth, he was fascinated as well and, well, kind of amused too. The hairy head with its bat-like ears and the rolling eyes had something.

Two other loud popping sounds announced the arrivals of yet two more house-elves. One of them had huge, green, tennis ball-sized eyes and a long thin nose like a pencil. The top of his head barely reached to Potter's navel. He was wearing a rust-brown pullover, something that looked like a tea-cosy and several socks on each foot.

The other one was even smaller, obviously female, with enormous brown eyes and a nose like a small tomato. Her fashion sense seemed not quiet as awful as the one of her companion though, as she was wearing a neat little pleated skirt and a prim white blouse.

Both of them had scarves around their tiny necks that Riddick only now and drawing on Sirius Black's memory recognized as strips of tea towels stamped with the Hogwarts coat of arms.

"We are really sorry, Harry Potter, sir..." started the green-eyed elf

"...Yes very, very sorry. Good house-elves don't go to the Great H-h-hall. Kreacher has been a bad, bad elf...Dobby and Winky will take him away right now, Harry Potter sir," Tomato nose squeaked.

"Don't worry, Harry Potter, sir," Tennis ball eyes again.

"...We house-elves know what to do when an old elf splinches. He'll be as good as new in no time, and Winky promises that she'll tell him never to bother any great wizard in the Great h

Hall again."

Tomato nose sniffed proudly and gestured to the other elf.

They grabbed one hairy, grey ear of Kreacher's head each and with another loud 'pop!' they disapparated. This time nothing was left behind, unless you want to count Harry's and Slughorn's gaping mouths and Riddick's grim frown.

Bloody madhouse.