Harry Potter and the Movie Craze
- Story Summary:
- Sequel to "Harry Potter and the Muggle Toy Store". What would happen if Harry Potter found out about the "Harry Potter" movie? What would happen if everyone thought he was Daniel Radcliffe? Cameos by Darling Little Elsie and her mother, Mummy! A barrel of laughs!
- Posted:
- 02/15/2002
- Hits:
- 2,250
Harry Potter and the Movie Craze
(Sequel to "Harry Potter and the Muggle Toy Store")
"Quick, Ron! We'll be late for potions!" yelled Harry Potter, down the
corridor, in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, on November 16, 2001.
"Hurry up, Ron!" shrieked Hermione Granger, in the same anxious tone.
"All right, all right, keep your shirt on," he said, running past
crowds of gossipers and prefects.
"Ron! How dare you!" said a wide-eyed Hermione, ready to slap the boy
senseless.
"Herm, you know what I mean!" he said, exasperated, "Come on, lets
bloody go so Snape doesn't chop our bloody heads off."
"Someone is in a bad mood," said Hermione. Harry laughed and
hugged her.
"I hate it when you both gang up on me," said Ron, pushing his hair
back, which was tangled and matted, unlike the smooth, combed locks that they
usually were.
"Bad morning?" asked Harry.
"Very bad," replied an utterly annoyed Ron.
The bell rang.
"And it just got worse."
The trio ran down the corridor, jumped onto the moving stairs that
lead to the dungeons, and careened down the dungeons hallway. They opened the
door, breathless. The whole class, a mix of Slytherins, Gryffindors, and Snape,
stared back at them.
"Potter, Granger, and Weasley," said the harassed-looking Potions
Master, "You are to report to Headmaster Dumbledore's office immediately. Not
points will be taken off." Snape's tone turned a little sour on the last
sentence.
Harry closed the wooden door, and Hermione and Ron gave a sigh of
relief.
"Saved by the Headmaster!" muttered Ron.
"No bad points on my record!" squealed Hermione.
The other two paused, waiting for Harry to say something.
"I don't think it's good at all," said Harry as they started walking
up the passage, "When Dumbledore wants to talk to you, it's not necessarily
good."
"He needs to sort out his priorities," said Ron, "I would face a full
grown dragon if I could, instead of going to Potions."
Hermione had a blank look on her face.
"Hermione?"
"Sorry," she said, "I just had a strange feeling of de-ja-vous when
you said 'sorting out priorities'"
The two boys shook their heads as they continued to walk.
"Here it is," said Harry after a few minutes, "Now all we need to do
is say the password. Dumbledore always names them after some kind of candy."
"Hmm....I got one! Er...Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans?"
Nothing happened.
"Chocolate Frogs?"
"Drooble's Best Blowing Gum?"
"Licorice Wands?"
Nothing.
"Salisbury Steak," said an old, light voice behind him. The stone
gargoyle that had been blocking the entrance jumped to the side.
The trio turned around, and stared at Headmaster Dumbledore himself.
Ron and Hermione then glared at Harry, who grinned sheepishly.
"It's nice to have a change every so often," said Dumbledore, "Please,
go into my office. We can discuss our little problem there."
Harry gulped at the word "problem"
The four made their way up the winding staircase and into Dumbledore's
office, a marvelous room filled with devices, portraits, and a small cage,
containing a bird that had only grown half of it's feathers.
"Fawkes doesn't like to be seen with only some of his feathers, so try
not to stare," said Dumbledore, gesturing at his pet phoenix, Fawkes.
"Please, sit down," voiced Dumbledore, who made three large, squashy
armchairs appear out of thin air. The trio did so.
"I have something very important and very grave to tell you three-"
started Dumbledore.
"Is Voldemort attacking us?" asked a nervous Harry.
"Are O.W.L.s being canceled?" squealed a horrified Hermione.
"Are Potions being called off?" asked a hopeful Ron.
"No, much worse than any of those things," said Dumbledore solemnly,
"It puts all three of you in absolute danger, so that you will have to be
guarded at all times."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on the edge of their seats.
Dumbledore took in a deep breath and said, "They've made a 'Harry
Potter' movie."
"No!" yelled Harry.
"How could they?!" squawked Hermione.
"Smashing!" whooped Ron.
The other three stared at him as if he had gone slightly mad.
"I'm a superstar," explained Ron, squirming under their gazes and
feeling slightly embarrassed.
"As soon as you leave for the Summer Holidays, you will all have to be
kept under close watch," revealed Dumbledore, "Ministry Officials will escort
you everywhere when you step even a foot outside your homes, and you will most
likely have to wear invisibility cloaks-"
"Headmaster that's a load of tosh!" said Ron, surprised by his
boldness, "We probably don't look anything like the actors who played us in
that cheap movie! We're fifteen, and we can take care of ourselves, thank you
very much!"
The room was silent.
"Sorry, sir," said Ron, whose face was turning a bright shade of
magenta.
"No," said Dumbledore, "you're probably right. You can take care of
yourselves." Dumbledore said these words, though he didn't look as if he
believed them.
"You are all excused."
They filed out of the room, stunned.
Seven months later...
"Ron! Stop looking at those toys in the window and come over here!" shouted
Hermione in Ottery, St. Catchpole, where Harry, Hermione, and Ron were spending
another delightful summer vacation.
"But they move! And without a wand, as well!" he squealed, pointing at
a TechnoKitty.
"Ron, people are starting to stare at you," said Harry, exasperated
and rolling his eyes.
One person, in particular, continued to stare.
"MUMMY!" screamed a high, voice.
"Does that sound familiar to you?" Harry asked his companions.
"No, it isn't..."
"It couldn't be..."
A small, snobby girl, dressed in a dress with too many frills to
count, took her mother by the arm and proceeded to pull her in the direction of
the trio.
"Little Elsie!" moaned Harry.
"It's you!" screeched Darling Little Elsie. She let go of her mother's
arm. Harry could see five, small, little red marks steadily darkening on it.
"Er..." they all said simultaneously.
"I've seen you before! But I was only a kid then, Mr. Radcliffe!"
Harry thought that Little Elsie had gone slightly demented since he
had last seen her.
"I thought you were Harry Potter! But Mummy took me to this really
nice lady who said he doesn't exist. She let me lay on her nice couch and
talked to me. But I know who you really are!"
She had gone demented.
"Er...and who am I?" he asked, slightly dazed.
"Daniel Radcliffe!"
"I am?"
"Of course you are! And you're Rupert Grint!" she said, pointing at
Ron.
"Of course we are, Dan!" he said, prodding Harry with his elbow. He
mouthed the word "movie" to him, and Harry finally understood.
"Oh, yes...of course I am!"
"Mr. Grint, can I have you're autograph?" asked Darling Little Elsie
politely.
"Er...okay." Ron answered.
"Mummy, give me a piece of paper!" screamed Elsie. Her mother promptly
handed her one.
"Who did you say I was, again?"
"Rupert Grint!"
"Oh, yes, that's right."
Ron scribbled the name down on the sheet of paper.
"Can I have your autograph, Mr. Radcliffe?" asked Darling Elsie.
"What about my autograph?" snapped Hermione.
"I don't like you."
Hermione pointed her nose in the air, clearly miffed.
Harry glanced at the large clock in the middle of the town centre. It
was half past three, and in ten minutes, Hermione, Ron, and himself were due
back at the Weasleys. It was either face the wrath of Mrs. Weasley or the wrath
of Darling Little Elsie.
"Er...sorry, we really must be going," said Harry, pulling his friends
along with both hands, "maybe some other time..."
A great change overcame Elsie. Her face started to darken, until it
looked like a small storm was taking place on it. She seemed to grow bigger
than her regularly small stature, and she inhaled a huge blast of air before
screaming:
"YOU BETTER GIVE ME AN AUTOGRAPH OR MY MUMMY WILL BEAT YOU UP!"
Harry was certainly more scared of Elsie, rather than her mother.
Immediately, the whole town centre grew quiet, all of them turning to
stare at Little Elsie, Harry, Hermione, and Ron.
A light seemed to click in their heads all at the same time.
"It's Daniel Radcliffe!" a little boy shouted, clearly astonished.
Almost immediately after, the whole town of Ottery, St. Catchpole ran
after the trio, with Darling Little Elsie leading all of them.
Shouts of "Can I have your autograph?" "Smile for the camera!" and
"Give me an interview!" echoed throughout Harry's mind. He wondered what would
happen if the crowd caught up with them.
The trio rounded the corner, and out of the corner of his eye, Harry
saw a dark, abandoned alleyway.
"Jump!" he screamed, flinging himself, Ron, and Hermione into the dark
haven.
The crowd, unaware that the trio had done this, kept on running.
"Phew," said Ron, "that was a close one."
"Maybe all that security was a good idea after all," said Hermione
mournfully, "Why don't I ever listen?"
Harry, still dazed, said nothing.
"Well, look on the bright side, Harry-" started Ron.
"Don't!" screamed Hermione and Harry simultaneously.
"-at least they're not making a sequel," he ended.
"Ron," moaned Hermione, dropping her head into her hands.
Harry banged his head on one of the surrounding walls.
"Here we go again."