Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts

(or The Real Reason the Shack Was Shrieking)

It was just another full moon for all of them. It had been one year James, Peter and Sirius had managed to become Animagi, and by now they were all accustomed to their once-a-month routine. At first it had been a bit hectic, especially since it had taken a while for Moony to trust them and recognize them as friends. The first night, Peter had been so scared that he had hidden into a hole as Wormtail for two days before James managed to coax him out of there.

Like always, the four boys crept out of the castle, James and Remus hidden under James' Invisibility Cloak, while the two other Animagi scampered in the direction of the Whomping Willow, Wormtail comfortably settled on Padfoot's furry back. In summer, Sirius had to wait for all the students hanging around the lake to go back to the castle before he could go out, but in the cold winter everybody was safely inside right after dinner.

So they had all crawled to the Shack, and the three friends had waited (all in animal form) in a room while Remus went through the changes. He would never let them see him turn into Moony, despite Sirius' strong (and repeated) wish to be there. Sirius thought nothing could feel worse than the howling sound, half-human and half-beast, which resonated in the whole house during Remus' metamorphosis. But try as he might, the door had always been shut in his face. And even if the mouldy half-broken doors weren't hard at all to open, even with a paw (which Padfoot always had to do, once it was clear the wolf was there), Sirius didn't dare ignore Remus' implied order.

Therefore, after the mandatory howl from the wakening wolf, Padfoot had gotten the door opened and they had joined Moony, all ready to go back through the Willow, back to the Forest. Like always, the wolf had been quite aggressive at first, something keen to the way Remus would be snappish and brutal an hour or so before his transformation, and like always Padfoot had jumped on it, and they had rolled around, biting each other and barking playfully.

But then things had been different from usual. Usually, Padfoot would have pushed Moony to the trap leading to the underground passage. Then Wormtail would have followed, then, after two minutes, James would have gone too, turning back into Prongs as soon as he was out of the tree.

Padfoot wasn't supposed to suddenly stop fighting with Moony and start sniffling him, in places James would rather not think of. And Moony was surely not supposed to do the same thing, after another bite or two. And what had happened then was something James refused to think about. Something he had tried his hardest to forget ever since dawn had risen, and he had had time to, during the two hours till it was breakfast time. They never slept on the full moons, except in summer, where they could manage to steal three of four hours between dawn and their first lesson.

He was sitting on his bed, in their dormitory, trying vainly to concentrate on his Transfiguration notes; but his eyes kept rising up and over the parchment, to Sirius' bed, where the latter was sprawled on his back, looking grim.

"Hey," James finally said, admitting defeat. Sirius had only been in the room for fifteen minutes and already James' instinct was kicking in. He wasn't his best friend for nothing, after all, and Sirius sure looked like he needed to talk. Or maybe to drown himself. James wasn't exactly sure.

"Hey," Sirius replied, staring at the ceiling of his bed.

James rolled his eyes. "Do you want to talk?"

There was a silence, then Sirius said, not looking at James: "Are you sure you want me to talk?"

The truth wouldn't do, so James replied, "Yes."

With a heavy sigh, Sirius sat up, but still his eyes avoided his best friend, focusing instead on his own hands, in his lap. He opened his mouth, but then realized he didn't have a clue about what to say.

James hesitated, then cautiously asked: "D'you remember what happened?"

Sirius glared at him, and James offered him a sheepish smile before fishing for some more intelligent question. "...Well, then...maybe you could explain to me what happened..." he offered, dreading another glare from his friend, which, indeed, came his way immediately.

"You were there," Sirius said very unhelpfully, "you saw it!"

"Yes," James said, getting annoyed. He was making the effort of talking about it, so the least Sirius could do was act grateful, couldn't he? "But I'm not sure I understood! What came over you?!" he asked, a little more loudly than he intended to.

"I don't know what came over me!" Sirius snapped, getting up from his bed and pacing the centre of the room. "He just...I don't know, he...he just smelt so good and I lost it, there!" he finally exclaimed angrily, throwing his hands up. Then he seemed to realize what he had just said and flushed imperceptibly, before slumping on the edge of James' bed.

James was looking at him as if he had grown a second head. "He...smelt good?" he stammered, eyes wide. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted to discuss it in the first place.

"Yes," Sirius said to his feet, clenching his hands around his knees. "Y'know, dog-sense of smell and all that."

James impersonated a goldfish brilliantly for a minute or two, then finally managed to squeak: "But you...you never did that before!"

"I know that," Sirius said darkly, glaring at James, who had the decency to look embarrassed. "But last night," he continued before he could think about shutting up, "he smelled different...stronger, somehow..."

"Okay, Padfoot, I think it's safe to say I really don't want to hear about that."

Sirius looked back up at him, looking surprised. "Oh. Sorry." Then, as if he had just realized something was missing: "Where's Peter?"

"Peter's in the Prefects' bathroom, I think. Probably still trying to rub the trauma away from his skin." James cracked a smile and Sirius smiled back, relieved.

"And..."

"I walked Remus to the hospital wing, since you had disappeared," James immediately said. "Fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. Or maybe he faked it...y'know how much he hates Pomfrey's medicine."

"Have you talked to him?" Sirius asked, looking slightly nervous.

"No. I figured you might do that yourself. I'm not even sure he remembers anything, actually. He always tells us he doesn't really know what he's doing when he's transformed."

James couldn't have said if Sirius looked relieved or disappointed by that reminder.

* O * ° * O * ° * O *

They had double Transfiguration and Arithmancy that morning, so Sirius waited until lunch to run to the hospital wing, his stomach empty and his heart hammering in his chest. He had spent the whole of Arithmancy thinking about a way to casually bring the subject up with Remus, much to Peter's dismay, who was used to copying Sirius' notes (he himself did listen to the class, but somehow he always ended up missing entire sentences).

James had insisted to sit alone that day, because Lily's best friend was sick and he had been hoping she would end up obliged to sit next to him. She had sat beside Julianne Thistle instead, who everybody avoided in classes because she was extremely nerdy and would snap at you if ever you looked at her parchment or asked to borrow her ink. James had been mortified; but even through his inner dilemma, Sirius himself hadn't missed the way Lily had smiled all class long, making a show of putting her hair away from her face, so that James had a perfect view of her profile from where he sat.

Sirius stopped, panting, in front of the door, and carefully pushed it ajar, not knocking.

Remus was sitting in his bed, back against two pillows, tranquilly filling out the weekly Daily Prophet's crosswords. His lunch-tray was beside his bed, yet untouched, but Madam Pomfrey must have been down in the Great Hall already. She ate in her office when the students were severely sick; this morning, though, the ward was deserted but for Remus.

He looked up from the newspaper and turned his head toward the door, smiling brightly when he saw who the intruder was. "Hey there," he said in his usual quiet manner. Sirius often wondered how Remus did to always be so composed, when he felt compelled to scream every time he got too happy or too sad, which was often.

"Hey!" Sirius replied, and in comparison his voice was loud, almost too loud, and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. But Remus smiled to him, folding the newspaper and sliding it under the tray, silently beckoning for Sirius to come sit on his bed.

He doesn't remember a thing... Sirius thought as he walked closer, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment - if he was to be honest with himself (which he didn't intend to be), the disappointment was far bigger than the relief. He pulled his robes off, too hot from his run, and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at Remus' lunch with undisguised envy. He was hoping Remus would say "Help yourself", but he didn't, so Sirius averted his eyes from the steaming food, instead looking at his friend. Then he felt his heart beating faster again and he wondered if he could go back to the plates without looking suspicious.

"I came to check on you," he said, and he didn't know why but right then he thought it sounded like the biggest lie of all times, and Remus would surely laugh in his face and refuse to talk to him any further.

But Remus kept smiling, and gently said: "I'm fine, thank you. Poppy already fussed over me this morning." He had managed to say this without making it sound like he didn't want Sirius fussing over him, which once again made Sirius resentful, as he could never manage to convey such hidden things. Unless they were dirty hidden things, in which case nobody at Hogwarts could beat him.

"You know you love it," he replied teasingly, glad that this time it sounded like it ought to sound.

"Well, you have to admit she's far from ugly..." Remus said with a small smile.

Suddenly Sirius felt his body go rigid with anger; what did he care about Pomfrey, uh?!

"Sirius, are you alright?"

Sirius started, then tried to smile. "Yes!" he said, again too loudly. "Why?"

"You were biting down on your lip like you wanted to rip it out..." Remus said softly, looking amused.

"I'm hungry," Sirius replied flatly.

Remus laughed, and Sirius felt goosebumps on his arms. Maybe he should put back his robe on, then...

"I'm tired, too," his mouth suddenly decided to say, to Sirius' surprise. "C'mon, scoot away," he added, jumping from the bed and raising the sheets.

"Pomfrey will kill you if she finds out..." Remus said with an amused smile as Sirius crawled under the covers, settling himself down. The bed was only meant for one, so he ended up half-lying on Remus, who didn't object. They were used to lying on the same bed for hours on sleepless nights or lazy evenings, with Sirius babbling on and on and on and Remus listening, laughing appreciatively from time to time. But the dormitories' beds were bigger. Here, the tension filling the space around them couldn't be mistaken for friendship or even nerves.

Sirius only fully realized it when Remus started blinking his right eye, on which Sirius' breathing was softly falling. Then he finally acknowledged that his legs were trapping Remus' right one, clothed in striped pyjamas, between tense walls of denim. And that Remus' mouth was so close Sirius only had to tilt his head down to kiss it.

"D'you remember what we did last night?" he asked abruptly, then mentally (and very nearly physically) slapped himself.

There was a blank, then Remus bit on his lip and silently nodded, looking much less composed than before.

"I thought you never remembered a thing!" Sirius gasped, looking affronted.

Surprisingly enough, Remus smiled, then muttered: "That would have been hard to forget, even if certain parts of my body didn't ache so badly..."

Sirius found he didn't know what to say to that, and hoped he wasn't blushing as badly as he thought. Sirius never blushed. That was something he was proud of, but somehow Remus could always manage to make him lose that ability and turn into a ripe tomato.

Remus didn't add anything, looking at Sirius with almost pleading eyes. After a while, the latter took in a shaky breath and asked: "What d'you think about...about it?" His left hand was gripping the iron bed rail, just above Remus' head, and he felt the urge to let go of it and stroke Remus' hair, but he didn't dare.

"I don't know," Remus replied truthfully, shrugging. Sirius shifted and his thigh came pressing down on Remus' groin, making its owner gulp down, his eyes getting slightly wider. Sirius didn't realize what he was leaning against and only stared at Remus, wanting some other reply. Any reply.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, shifting his leg a bit and not noticing the way Remus' body tensed.

"Mno...no, why...why should I..." Remus breathed, his voice squeaking and his eyes looking as if they were about to fall from their sockets. Sirius frowned. Remus gave him a strained smile, then shyly said: "Sirius, d'you mind putting your leg some place else..."

Sirius raised the covers and looked down, then blushed and quickly stretched his leg away, which in turn forced his chest down on Remus'. He let go of the railing and pushed his hand down on the pillow, propelling his upper body away from Remus' warmth, before asking again, as if nothing had happened: "D'you think it meant anything?"

Remus, who had managed to put his thoughts back into order, looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, what if our animal forms knew better than us?" Sirius said, leaning closer to Remus' startled face. "You still smell good," he murmured against his ear, taking a deep breath. The familiar smell invaded his body and his instincts kicked in, his brain irrevocably closed to any protest or question.

Remus didn't say anything, and he was quite sure no sound would have made it out of his mouth anyway. His eyes fell closed as Sirius' lips grazed his forehead, his body tensing then going lax in less than a second.

"There's one thing dogs can't do though," Sirius said, extraordinarily calm, against Remus' cheek. "And I don't know for you but I think that it's a real shame..."

Remus opened his eyes, ready to ask what Sirius was talking about, but he had barely time to see Sirius' jet black eyes before soft lips were shyly pressed against his, in a question more than a kiss, despite Sirius' boldness.

"So what do you think?" Sirius asked, barely opening his eyes. Remus' own eyes, which had been as wide as cauldrons, slowly shrank back to normal as he smiled.

"Well, I knew that if my wolf form had decided to let you...to let you abuse of my innocence," he said with a dramatic voice, before grinning at a puzzled Sirius, "then it only confirmed my suspicions. But I'm glad you feel the same," he added softly, before kissing his now gaping friend, with much more assurance than Sirius had shown. And since his mouth was so welcomingly opened already, Remus' tongue thought it would only be polite to come say hello. Judging from Sirius' strangled moan, he was very glad of the intrusion.

Time decided to go have a drink while the two friends kissed, alternating between lazy and frantic, discarding the need to breathe altogether for much more pleasant sensations. Sirius' hand made its way to Remus' clothed waist, the fabric moving in time with his caresses, while Remus scientifically decided to see if Sirius' hair, about which the owner was always so proud, was the trunk of pleasure it was built to be. He was quite disappointed when his tangling fingers didn't draw out any satisfying moan from Sirius, and moved his hand to Sirius' neck, getting a much stronger reaction.

After its martini, Time came back and the two boys had to separate at last, both pleasantly out of breath, their lips pink and swollen. Sirius opened his mouth, then decided against talk and to explore Remus' neck instead. His inner four-legged self was beating its tail happily. This was better than a rainy autumn week-end, when he and James would go wander the Forest. This was even better than the night before, when Padfoot had suddenly picked up the entrancing smell emanating from Moony, opening the door to an even more pleasant kind of play.

"Why do you touch me as if I was going to break?" Remus asked after a few seconds, a bit cross; Sirius' hand had been caressing his side and his hip, but much too carefully to his liking.

Sirius looked up from Remus' (now drooling) neck, then softly admitted: "You do look so fragile..."

"But I'm not," Remus objected, his voice an admirable mix of stern and tender. "You should know it by now."

"I know," Sirius immediately whispered, then smiled brightly, the way only Sirius could smile. He slipped his right arm under Remus' back and pressed the other boy roughly against his chest, sealing his mouth on his once again.

Remus' nails pressed into the skin of Sirius' shoulder and he bit down on Sirius' lip, before breaking the kiss. "I'm not fragile at all," he whispered against Sirius' parted lips, with eyes so intense Sirius suddenly felt weak.

"I'll keep that in mind," he stammered, licking his bruised lip repeatedly. Remus' hand crept along his neck, up to his cheek and temple, tracing precise patterns around his face, as if slowly reshaping Sirius' features.

When Remus talked again, it almost caught Sirius by surprise. "You look tired," he said, looking pensive, his fingers going back and forth along Sirius' lips.

"Well, I had a bit of a trouble sleeping last night," Sirius answered with a sexy grin.

Remus grinned back, but his thoughtful expression quickly settled back in. "You look more tired than you usually do..."

"I'm okay though." His smile faltered for a second, and he reluctantly added: "I'm a bit worried about...last night..."

Remus' fingers left Sirius' face. "Worried? What about?"

"About what...what I might have done to you," Sirius said. "Y'know, when we...I was kind of rough..."

Unexpectedly, Remus smiled. "Yeah, I do remember rough. The wolf liked that. Definitely."

But Sirius didn't look reassured.

"Look," Remus said gently, with his conciliator tone. "I always hurt myself, and we've always fought during the full moon. I don't have much more injuries than I usually do."

"But you do have more..." Sirius said, and then his hands were on Remus' shirt, unbuttoning it quickly. The skin revealed was almost covered in bruises, not to mention the ugly scar spreading in a circle around Remus' left shoulder. Most of them were as good as scratches, given Remus' natural healing abilities and Pomfrey's remedies, but Sirius suspected a few would turn into lifelong scars, thin lines of pearly white on Remus' fair skin.

"It's nothing..." Remus whispered faintly, his voice going up one or two octave and his lips stretching into a silly smile as Sirius' fingers touched the skin, softly tracing the patterns he himself had carved on his friend's body the night before. Sirius peaked up at Remus' face, delighted at the elated look he saw there, before turning his attention back to Remus' stomach, the smile quickly disappearing from his lips and eyes.

"So many," he whispered, his fingers gradually going lower, along with the sheets, until he casually undid the knot holding Remus' pyjama pants, intent on seeing just how low the scars were spreading. He didn't notice the gasp escaping Remus' lips as he pushed the fabric down an inch or two, uncovering Remus' hips, but his eyes did register the small mop of hair peaking out from the now half-opened fly. He stared at them, transfixed, for a second or two, then blinked and forced his eyes to travel north, back to one particular scar, which marked a diagonal path from Remus' lower stomach to his hip, climbing on his left hip bone.

When Sirius' fingers traced it, Remus' body reacted all on its own and he arched up, head pressing down on his pillow, biting on his lip to stifle a moan, little Remus instantly stirring to attention. Sirius arched his eyebrows, feeling warmth sipping from his fingers to spread through his entire body, and caressed the scar again, eliciting the very same reaction from his (suddenly panting) friend.

"You should say to Poppy not to heal that scar," he said with a cocky smile, before brushing his fingers along its length one more time. Remus gasped, then Sirius' lips were on his again and he felt his pants being tugged a few more inches down more than he registered it.

When Sirius' fingers skimmed along his hardening length, Remus thought for a delirious second that he was dreaming; but Sirius' hand slowly wrapped itself around it and Remus moaned into Sirius' mouth, his brain going into overdrive for a second, then blacking out completely.

Sirius' mouth left his own, much to his disappointment, and they looked at each other for long seconds, eyes wide and gleaming. Sirius' hand slowly started moving and Remus unconsciously arched up to meet its downward strokes, not blinking.

"Yet another thing dogs can't do," Sirius whispered with a tender smile. Remus' lips stretched into a grin but it was broken by a moan as Sirius increased the pressure of his hand, enclosing Remus in warmth and strength.

Sirius made a point to go slowly, liking the way Remus' features tensed and relaxed imperceptibly with each stroke, the way his eyelids sometimes closed ever-so-slightly, only to spring back open as another gasp sprung past his lips. Remus' right arm curled up and he gripped Sirius' upper arm. He licked his lips and Sirius couldn't resist the invitation, bending down to greedily kiss Remus' mouth, gladly swallowing his low moan.

After two more minutes, and a gradual acceleration of Sirius' heavenly rhythm, Remus' breath was coming out in quick puffs, much similar to an eager dog's breathing, and his fingers tightened more on Sirius' shoulder. His body gave a single jerk, tensed, then, after a few blissful seconds, went completely boneless. Sirius' hand slowly stopped and warm lips were pressed on Remus' forehead.

A few minutes passed in silence, Sirius sneakily wiping his hand clean on Remus' thigh, tracing small circles and watching as some of it penetrated the skin. Remus' breathing was lazily settling back to normal; he kept his eyes closed and his lips were permanently stretched into a silly smile, and when he heard Sirius chuckling close to his ear he had to use all his willpower to mumble a sleepy "What?".

"You're cute when you're spent," came the amused reply.

Remus frowned, waited one second, then asked, a hint of reproach in his voice: "Cute? I thought I was handsome."

Sirius chuckled again, then corrected himself with a smile. "You look handsomely cute, then."

"Better." Remus yawned, then, finally, agreed to open his eyes. He was feeling deliciously elated, free of any awkward or confused feeling. Sirius' eyes were smiling at him and Remus experienced a strong urge to kiss those inviting lips but right then leaning up was looking like the most tiring thing he had ever had to do, so he just smiled back (not realizing he had never stopped smiling in the first place), sighing contentedly.

"Do you know you were sniffling me?" Sirius finally asked, grinning.

Remus looked genuinely surprised. "Did I?"

"Yes. Just before you ca--"

"Must be instinct," Remus hastily interrupted, blushing slightly. Sirius did smell good, a mix of sweat, the pungent scent of his anti-dandruff shampoo, and the sweet smell of sugar quills (he usually ended up forgetting it wasn't his real quill and started rubbing it against his neck, before swearing and looking for the feathery one). It was a very manly smell, sugar discarded, and Remus loved it. He therefore buried his head up against Sirius' neck, taking a deep breath of its scented warmth.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out suddenly, laying his head back on his pillow.

"What in Merlin's name could you be sorry about?!" Sirius asked with a gasp, grinning.

Remus blushed, and mumbled: "Well...uh..."

"You should never be sorry without reason, Remus," Sirius said, his tone solemn. "T'will make you go soft..." He smirked, and glanced pointedly down at Remus' pants. "Not that that hasn't happened already..."

He thought he heard Remus say something along the lines of "Stupid prat", but when he looked up the other boy was innocently smiling at him.

"Yup," Sirius said, his smile both tender and mischievous, "definitely keep Poppy from healing that magic scar."

"Oh Merlin..." Remus suddenly said, putting his arm over his eyes and grinning. "What will Pomfrey say..."

"She'll say that you shouldn't indulge in such tiring activities when you're in her wing," Sirius said with mock seriousness. "Or...maybe I can erase the proofs..." he proposed, smiling in a feral way. Suddenly, tasting Remus didn't feel gross at all, he couldn't have said why. Maybe it was all because of Remus' blinding smile, or maybe because of that smell that was slowly but surely driving him crazy.

"Erase the..." But Remus didn't finish his question, for Sirius' next move was more than answer enough.

It was salty and gooey, and something else that Sirius couldn't put his finger on, but didn't try very hard to determine. It wasn't the best tasting thing in the world, far from it, but it wasn't unpleasant either, and Remus' soft moans were worth it, largely. For a second, Sirius thought about turning into Padfoot, to lap Remus' stomach more efficiently and to see if it would taste any different, stronger maybe, but he didn't want to scare his friend so soon. He stored the idea into a corner of his brain, though, with a small smile that would have effectively made Remus worried, had he seen it.

Once the cleaning was achieved, Sirius gently assured himself that Remus would be decent again, pulling the pants back up, doing the knot back, and buttoning his shirt back on, ignoring Remus' huffing at being treated like an invalid. Remus who didn't quite want to admit that Sirius dressing him up was making him almost as weak as Sirius undressing him.

Finally, Sirius pecked his friend on the lips, before hopping off the bed. He had just spotted the old clock hanging next to the door to Pomfrey's office and if it was any good, then he had less than five minutes to run to his Charms class, which, even with all the hidden shortcuts, wouldn't be a piece of cake.

Remus looked at him with slight disappointment, and smiled when Sirius relented and bent down to kiss him again, a real decent kiss this time, before standing up.

"You'll be back at the dorm tonight, right?" he asked in a whisper, his fingers absently caressing Remus' cheek.

"I will if you will," Remus said with a smile. The way Sirius' eyes travelled the entire length of his body made him shiver much more than any reply could have done.

"So anyway, I'll leave you to your beauty rest," Sirius finally said with a flourish, grinning and snatching Remus' muffin from the tray before walking to the door deliberately slowly, robe thrown on his shoulder, swinging his hips in a manner that would have looked completely stupid on most people, but somehow turned amazingly sexy on Sirius.

"Hey," Remus called just before Sirius had closed the door behind him.

"Yup?" Sirius asked, sliding his head back in the room.

"Don't take your excitement out on Flitwick, 'kay?" Remus said with a small smile. "The poor man is still recovering from last month's Pile of Books from Hell."

Sirius laughed loudly, then winked and left, without any promise made, just as Remus had expected it.

He did behave, but he was still grinning so widely when he arrived in Charms class that the poor professor Flitwick looked on the brink of a nervous breakdown during the whole lesson, just as he had on the last April's fools day, when Sirius had decided that his April fool to the teachers that year would be to not play any tricks on them, and see if they would still be afraid. They had been.

As for James and Peter, the poor boys had to be coaxed to come back by Sirius and Remus, with the promise that if they just waited outside the Whomping Willow, then the wolf and the dog could indulge in their ritual before coming out to go scamper the forest with them.

THE END.