Under the New Moon

Chapter 10

Blue Moon

All these mixed emotions

we keep locked away like stolen pearls

Stolen pearl devotions we

keep locked away from all the world

"You're kidding!"

"Not even. So then I said--"

"Black!"

Remus and Sirius paused and glanced up. Snape stood over the table wearing an expression of anger and intolerance. He looked so out of place at the bar that Sirius laughed, and the Firewhiskey came out through his nose.

"I'm glad to see you're having such a good time," Snape said irritably.

Remus handed Sirius a napkin across the table and hid his smile in his mug. They were sitting at a booth at the Three Broomsticks, celebrating, having finished the most recent batch of exams.

Sirius recovered and pulled himself upright. "Hey, Snape. Moony," he said, hitting Remus on the arm harder than Remus would have liked, "have you met my new cousin?"

There was an awkward pause and Sirius snorted out some more Firewhiskey with a long and obnoxious giggle.

Snape audibly rolled his eyes. "Spare me your inebriated antics. I just came to find out if you were finished with the master mark sheet for the letters A through C."

Sirius rummaged in his pocket for something. "In the top drawer of my desk," he said, and thrust two keys into Snape's hand.

Snape looked at them. "What are these?" he asked blankly.

"The big one," Sirius said, pointing too far too the left, "is the key to my quarters -- room 22 -- and the smaller one unlocks the desk. Just slide them under the door when you're done. I know the special Accio that I can get them with."

There was another pause.

"You want me to go into your room and get it?" Snape asked.

With some effort, Remus focused on Snape's face. It looked surprisingly not irate and, had Remus been sober, he might have gone so far as to say taken aback.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Er -- nothing, nothing." Snape recovered and readjusted his ubiquitous glower so it fit. "I'll see to it."

Sirius watched him walk away and turned to Remus with what was clearly amusement.

"Are you sure that was wise? Trusting Snape with your keys?" Remus said.

Sirius smiled lazily. "Yeah, he doesn't hate me nearly as much as he wants to anymore. After the war, we all have so much more to hate."

Remus looked away.

"No, Moony, I didn't mean you--" Sirius said putting a hand on the back of Remus's neck. "Shit. I just meant no one has the energy anymore. Look at how mellowed the Gryffindors and Slytherins have been."

"That's just because Harry and Malfoy have been breaking up fights all year," Remus said quietly, trying to ignore Sirius's hand.

"Yeah?" asked Sirius placidly. "I always thought Harry would have gotten out of that business after everything that's happened."

Remus shrugged.

Sirius sighed. "You have to let things go, Moon," he told Remus.

Remus glanced over at him. "Moon?"

Sirius flopped his head onto Remus's shoulder. "Moon," he repeated.

"Let's get you home, Sirius," Remus said and Sirius was suddenly angry.

"No!" he shouted. "You always want to do what's right, what's responsible."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Why don't you ever just have a little fun?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm having fun now," Remus said, indicating his drink.

"Then leave it alone. Do what's right for you for a change, instead of anybody else."

Remus sat back against the seat and laughed softly. "Alright I will, then."

"There's nothing wrong with being a bit hedon-- hedoniss--" Sirius paused. "Remus, I think I need to get to bed."

Remus laughed. "I'll help you."

"I know."

They made their way out of the pub and back up to the castle. Their progress was slow because Remus was swaying slightly, too.

"You should see what I got Snivellus and Narcissa for their wedding--" Sirius said as they made their way across the lawn under the waxing crescent moon.

"You can show me some other time," Remus said, his hand pressed firmly against Sirius's back, supporting him.

The continued on in silence.

"I bet you'd love to move your hand a little lower," he said, and Remus froze.

Then he laughed. "You're nuts, Padfoot. I don't know why you drink so much."

Sirius pushed himself a little bit away from Remus so they were no longer touching. He turned to face him.

"Do you love me, Moony?" he asked.

"Of course I do," Remus replied, irrational fear gripping him.

"That's not what I meant."

"What do you mean?"

Sirius took a step closer, and then another so he was breathing against Remus's lips. He leaned down slightly and looked into Remus's eyes. Remus thought his heart had stopped. Then Sirius laughed and staggered backwards.

"I knew it," he said, and began weaving his way back up towards the castle.

Remus watched him go for an instant before the blood came rushing back. He dashed after Sirius, grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly around. Then Remus crushed their lips together and a voice in his head was saying something about fighting for what you want.

"You're an idiot, Sirius," Remus breathed when he pulled away for an instant. Then he was kissing him again and his hands were on Sirius's arse and Sirius was kissing him back until...

Until.

Sirius moved backwards to look Remus in the face. Remus smiled stupidly and tried to kiss him again.

Sirius moved back.

"No," Sirius said. "No, this isn't what I want."

The world stopped and there would be no Obliviating this time.

The last thing Remus saw before he Disapparated was the grin re-appearing on Sirius's face.

***

Draco was avoiding Harry a few days later in much the same way that Remus was avoiding Sirius, although neither of them knew it.

So when Draco and Remus ran into each other in the men's toilets in an effort to hide out for a few minutes, the situation was confusing, to say the least.

"Oh!" said Draco when he saw Remus. "I didn't know anyone else was in here."

Remus smiled stiffly. "Hello, Mr. Malfoy."

"Er, hello."

Draco waited expectantly for Remus to move from his position of leaning against the wall. When he showed no signs of doing so, Draco moved into one of the stalls.

After ten minutes, he realised he would have to come out again.

He did so and found Remus still standing there.

"Er ... Professor?" he asked.

"Yes?" Remus asked pleasantly.

"You're missing lunch," Draco pointed out, feeling ridiculous.

"As are you," replied Remus.

"Right..."

They lapsed into some silence.

"What ... er -- what are you doing here?" Draco finally asked.

"Avoiding someone," Remus replied truthfully.

Draco exhaled in relief. "So am I."

Remus cocked his head to one side. "May I ask who?"

Draco shrugged. "Harry Potter."

"Why's that? I thought you two were friends now."

Draco looked away from his teacher and glanced at his reflection in the mirror. It didn't help his resolve when he caught sight of the diminished boy who couldn't fix the stupid cabinet and who fell too deeply for the enemy.

"We ... weren't friends," he admitted. He knew that Harry would hate him for 'ruining' the Black/Lupin plan, but nothing had come of it, so he might as well speak his mind. Also, the fact that this would upset Harry made him smile, just a little.

"You appeared to be," Remus commented, sounding confused.

"We were more than friends," Draco said. "But after we had sex, Harry still didn't want things to be ... how I wanted them."

The expression on his professor's face made skipping lunch entirely worthwhile, in Draco's opinion.

"Are you kidding me?" Remus asked.

"No," said Draco. "We've been keeping it a secret all year."

Then Remus coughed and began walking towards the door. "I'm not sure if this is an appropriate conversation for a professor to be having with his student."

Draco shrugged. "You weren't my professor anymore, as of this morning," he said. "We finished the Transfiguration exam."

Remus paused. "Ah, well." He looked uncomfortable. "I think the person I'm avoiding has surely gone by now. Best of luck, Draco."

"You too, Remus."

Remus blinked.

"If I might ask," Draco continued, "who is it you were avoiding?"

Remus smiled weakly. "Sirius Black," he said, and walked out the door.

Draco smiled properly for the first time in days. "I thought so," he said to himself.

***

Harry was sitting with Ginny the next morning under a dewy morning sun studying for his last exam.

"I will be so glad when this is all finished," he told her as she continued moulding a cat out of clay.

"Ready to put all of Hogwarts behind you?" she asked.

"More than ready," he said absently.

"It must be nice not to care about anything," she said lightly.

He looked up at her, but she wasn't paying attention to him. "I don't have to care about Voldemort or the war or all the death anymore, Gin. Just leave it alone."

"Ok," she said and continued sculpting. "Hand me that spoon?"

He handed it to her. "I mean, it's over," he said. "I'm just trying to have a little fun here."

She smiled briefly at him. "Right you are, Harry."

Harry sighed and put down his notes. "You want to hear a song?" he asked, pulling out his guitar.

She shook her head. "You know I love your music, Harry, but then I couldn't see this," she said, indicating the feline.

"Right."

He picked up his notes again, opened his mouth, and then closed it.

"Would you like to say something, Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, I just don't want to think about the war anymore," he said angrily.

"I wonder what the Dark Lord's real name was," Draco said. "I mean, it couldn't have been V-- you know."

"Yeah, who knows," replied Harry as they walked through the colourful fallen leaves on the ground.

"I bet it was something crazy, like -- like Harold!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry looked at him.

"That would have been a little weird," Draco amended.

"You think?"

"Maybe it was Epimetheus," continued Draco. "I've always wanted a Dark Lord named that. When I was a boy I used to say to father--"

"Draco, shut up!" Harry said in exasperation and tackled him into the leaves.

"Who's talking about the war?" said Ginny and started humming a little tune. Presumably to see better. Or to annoy Harry.

"I liked him because he was so different from anything before the war," Harry said. "Before the war I never would have been interested in Draco. I hated him."

"That would be you, I guess," Ginny murmured.

"But I just wanted something new, you know?" continued Harry. "And I just wanted to stop thinking about all the death and shit."

Ginny sighed and turned to face him. "Did you ever think that it's the death and shit that makes the rest of this so worth it, Harry?"

"Huh?"

"Like, it reminds us, in a way, that what hasn't gone to shit yet is still ... around?"

Harry laughed suddenly. "No," he said. "Can you please stop talking about the war?"

"Like the time you nearly got me killed in the Forbidden Forest?" Draco was saying.

"Oh come off it. You outran the danger by a mile. Check."

"I'm white, Harry."

"What?"

"I'm white. You're black, remember?"

"What?"

Draco sighed. "You said you wanted to be darkness for a change?"

Harry blinked. "You've been letting me play your pieces this whole time?" he asked bemusedly.

Draco blushed. "Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't really been paying attention either..."

"Why don't you just go talk to him?" Ginny suggested.

"I think he's hiding from me. I saw him in the exam yesterday, but he left too quickly after."

Ginny made a movement that suggested to Harry that she had just rolled her eyes under the sunglasses. "Don't you have a map of sorts that could help you find him?"

Harry sat up straight. "Of course!"

Ginny shook her head.

***

Draco watched as Blaise and Millicent pointedly took chairs on the opposite side of the common room, opened their books in unison, tossed a glare at the other, rustled their papers twice, and proceeded to burn holes through their pages with their eyes.

Pansy caught his eye and grinned. Draco smiled back.

"What are you doing, Pan?" he asked.

"Just making sure I have all the things I need for the blue moon tomorrow night," she said. "We're having a bonfire at eleven when the moon is at its fullest."

"Shouldn't you be studying?" he asked.

She gave him a look. "It's Charms. I've almost done better than Hermione this year. I can afford to spend a few minutes not studying."

"Hermione?"

"Granger," Pansy said quickly. "Herimone Granger. Merlin, maybe I do need to study."

Draco laughed.

"I don't see what's so funny," Blaise snapped.

Draco and Pansy looked at him. Millicent bared her teeth at her book.

Blaise glanced up, looking surprised. "Sorry, Draco, I'm just ... stress. There is stress, you know."

Draco exchanged a look with Pansy.

"Why don't we all get some dinner," she suggested brightly.

Draco hesitated. "I'm not hungry."

At this, Blaise put down his book and stood up. "You can't avoid him forever, little one," he said wisely.

"And you should eat," Pansy added.

"I don't want to see him," Draco said crossly.

"Yeah," Blaise said, grabbing one of his arms. "We know."

Pansy grabbed the other one. "And we really don't care."

***

Harry was looking at the doors when Draco entered, propelled forward by Pansy and Blaise.

"I'm going to go talk to him," Harry said.

"Has anyone else noticed Sirius and Lupin?" Ron asked, nodding at the head table. "They seem a little..."

Harry and Hermione turned and saw the two of them sitting on opposite sides, studiously ignoring the other.

" The full moon is tomorrow," said Hermione worriedly.

"I'll fix it later," Harry said absently, and headed towards Draco. Sirius was in the room, but that didn't mean Harry had to avoid Draco altogether. He just had to be -- he grimaced as the word came to him -- subtle.

"Draco, can I talk to you?" Harry said in his ear.

Draco's head snapped around. "No!" he shouted. "Leave me alone, Potter!"

A few people around them quieted and looked to see why someone was yelling.

Harry glanced at Sirius, who was still staring deep into his plate.

"Maybe in private?" Harry asked. "Please?"

Draco looked suddenly furious. "So your precious little godfather doesn't hear?" Draco hissed. "So no one knows anything about us?"

"What are you talking about?" Harry said, annoyed. "You know it was only so--"

"Oh, yes," Draco said with a humourless laugh. "You've explained a hundred times. The only problem is it doesn't make sense anymore. So I've had it with the secrecy, Potter. If you want to talk so badly, you're going to have to kiss me first. Right here, right now."

By this time, more than half the room was listening.

Harry glanced to see that Sirius was still oblivious. Just as he looked over, Sirius raised his head and caught his eye. He smiled absently.

"Well?" Draco demanded.

Harry hesitated. "It's not the right time," he said, and watched as Draco's fury resolved into cold hatred.

"I disagree," he said, and kissed Harry on the mouth.

Harry didn't have enough time to respond before Draco had pulled back. His eyes had narrowed into slits.

"Don't ever talk to me again," said Draco, and he stormed out of the Hall, every head following him out.

Harry stood in the middle of the room, all eyes on him now that Draco had left, and looked at Sirius.

Sirius had his mouth half open and had clearly seen the whole thing. It was ruined.

Harry said nothing, turned on his heel, and left the room.

***

Draco Malfoy was waiting for him when he arrived back to his room after dinner.

"Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Oh, please," he said sardonically, "call me Draco."

"I thought we had some sort of conversation at the beginning of the year where I explicitly told you not to visit me in my private quarters again."

Draco snorted gracelessly. "Your private quarters," he said. "You wish."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"

"To show you something," replied Draco, and he began taking off his robes.

Sirius blanched. "What are you doing?!" he shouted, horrified. "Stop that!"

Much to his relief, Draco stopped.

"Then you're going to have to find some other way to pull it together, Black," Draco told him.

"I don't know what you're--"

"Lupin?" Draco said. "He wants you. You want him."

"I know," said Sirius and Draco looked stunned.

"You know what?" he asked after a moment, looking suspicious.

"Please, get out," Sirius said.

Draco stared.

"Please?" he tried again.

"Ok," said Draco in a small voice and turned to leave.

Sirius closed the door behind him and sat down on his bed. He felt tired. He felt old.

There was a knock at the door.

"Draco, could you just--"

"Hello, Sirius."

Remus Lupin stood at the door looking just as tired and as old as Sirius felt.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Sirius nodded and stepped aside.

Remus walked in and stood in the middle of the room.

Sirius waited.

"I've come to the decision that my life is not where I want it to be," Remus said at last.

"I know the feeling," Sirius said, rubbing his cheek.

Remus smiled tightly. "I'm leaving, Sirius," he said. "I'm moving to Sydney tomorrow."

This Sirius was not expecting. "Sydney?" he repeated.

"Australia," Remus said.

"But why?" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus gave him a smile that had a bit more warmth in it this time. "Because of you, Sirius," he said. "And I think we both know why."

Sirius was speechless.

Remus inhaled too quickly and turned suddenly to stare out the window. "I'll miss you," he said softly.

"This cannot be happening," Sirius whispered to himself and took a step forward.

"But it's clear that I can no longer offer you the kind of relationship we used to have," Remus was saying.

Sirius took another step forward.

"And I feel it's best that we just remember the good times now instead of dragging something out that neither of us wants, something that is fake--"

Sirius put his arms on the back of Remus's shoulders and he froze.

"Please don't touch me, Sirius," he whispered.

Sirius ignored this and moved his arms to encircle the other man. He slowly brought his lips down to the skin under Remus's ear.

Remus sucked in a sharp breath and let his head fall back onto Sirius's shoulder as Sirius sucked gently.

"You didn't let me finish the other night," Sirius breathed into Remus's ear. "I told you to stop because I didn't want it to be some drunken shag that neither of us remembered in the morning."

Remus's breathing was coming out in quiet moans and Sirius wasn't sure if he was crying or not.

"But no one's drunk tonight," Sirius said, moving one hand down Remus's chest. "In fact ... I'm feeling more clear-headed than I ever have before."

Remus reached up and placed a hand against Sirius's neck. Then, slowly, he turned and looked Sirius in the eye.

"You're serious," he said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Of course I am."

Remus laughed softly and leaned up and kissed him.

Sirius kissed him back until he could kiss no more.

***

The morning of the blue moon was bright and beautiful. The only two to witness it were two very pleased old friends who fell asleep promptly after seeing the first of the sun's fire reach the horizon.

Everyone else was in a state of panic wondering how they were going to get though their last exam.

Somehow, they did. Not everyone passed, but not everyone did poorly either, though sunset that evening had everyone discussing anything but their exams.

"Have you seen Professors Black and Lupin?"

"Melanie saw them snogging near the dungeons today."

"I didn't think it was possible at their age."

"I think it's kind of sweet."

"I wonder what kind of activities they'll get up to on the full moon tonight."

"Blue moon."

"Should be spectacular."

Draco strolled down the hall with Pansy and Blaise feeling smug and superior. And not at all heartbroken or jealous.

"You're in a good mood, Draco," Pansy noted.

"Hmm?" said Draco. "I aced the exam. Not a problem."

Blaise laughed. "Right," he said.

Draco smiled, pleased. "Well if you must know, I set up the professors last night," he told his friends as the last of the sun's rays dipped below the horizon.

"What?" asked Pansy.

"I was in Professor Black's room last night and I might have done a little striptease to get him to finally admit he's attracted to men," Draco said. "As I was leaving I saw Professor Lupin on his way to Black's room and ... well, I must have put him in the mood."

"Shocking," Blaise said, only half sarcastically.

"Isn't it?" Draco said.

"Professor Black was so straight, it seemed," Pansy said.

Draco laughed. "Baby, I can get anyone in the mood, as you might recall."

Pansy laughed and hit him.

"You are so full of shit," she said.

Draco laughed too. "Maybe," he agreed. "But that doesn't change the facts."

***

"Have any plans for tonight?" Sirius asked as he toweled his hair.

Remus laughed. "I thought I might head into town, check out that new Indian restaurant," he said.

Sirius laughed. "If only James could see us now."

"He can, Sirius."

"I think he knew long before we did, you know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I can hear him now: 'I'm not surprised. Of course, I knew all along...' The git," he said affectionately.

"Indeed."

"What about you?" Remus asked. "Staying in?"

"I was going to see what Harry was up to," Sirius said. "I'm worried about him. Malfoy kissed him and..."

"Sirius," Remus said. "I think Harry and Draco have been dating for a while."

"You're kidding."

Remus shook his head. "Draco told me a few days ago. It seems they didn't want the same thing and it ended badly."

"That's ... why would he keep this from me?"

Remus smiled. "Why don't you ask him?"

Sirius nodded. "I will."

Remus stood up. "I'm going to go see Snape and get the potion," he said.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't we?" Sirius asked.

Remus glanced at the clock. "You're right. How could I have gotten so distracted?"

Sirius grinned. "Beats me," he said and pulled Remus in for a kiss.

Remus kissed him back, but broke off before long. "Will I see you in the morning?" he asked.

Sirius smiled. "Every morning, if you want."

"I want." Remus grinned shyly at him.

"Night, Moony."

"Night, Padfoot."

***

Hermione was pacing back and forth in her room. The other girls had gone to Pansy's party, but she couldn't leave the room.

It was too much. She was tired of being afraid all the time. Where other people felt the need to celebrate it, the blue moon scared her. She had read that anything was possible on this night, and after the last two years, Hermione didn't want anything to happen. Nothing.

So she stayed in her room and paced, waiting for the moon to wane again.

***

Remus was walking towards Snape's office when he heard Sirius's name.

"I set up the professors last night," Remus heard Draco Malfoy say.

He glanced around the corner and saw the three Slytherins walking down the corridor.

"I was in Professor Black's room last night and I might have done a little striptease to get him to finally admit he's attracted to men," Draco said. "As I was leaving I saw Professor Lupin on his way to Black's room and ... well, I must have put him in the mood."

"Shocking," said Blaise Zabini.

"Isn't it?" Draco said.

"Professor Black was so straight, it seemed," Pansy Parkinson said.

Draco laughed. "Baby, I can get anyone in the mood, as you might recall."

Remus saw red.

Draco Malfoy? Sexually frustrated, hiding out in toilets and closets Draco Malfoy? It made sense, after all; Sirius had never before been interested. Now suddenly bloody Draco Malfoy teases Sirius and he comes running to the one person who he knows will give it to him?

A tear dripped onto the floor.

"Protect him. This is what you want. You rarely get second chances in life, so if anything comes near him, take it out."

Another tear followed, and soon Remus was staggering blindly down the hall and out the door into the night.

***

"I'm going to go build the bonfire now," Pansy announced, clearly hoping Draco would offer to help.

"So go," he said.

She sighed. "You are coming tonight, right?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"It will be fun," she coaxed. "There will be music, and dancing. Lots of dancing."

Dance with me.

"I don't like dancing."

Pansy smiled sadly at him and he wished she wouldn't. Maybe he would go so she would stop looking at him like that.

He glanced up at her. "Yes, fine, alright. I'm just going to go shower first."

She gave him a genuine smile. "Don't take forever," she said.

"Don't wait forever," he returned.

***

"Harry."

Harry turned and saw Sirius smiling warmly at him.

"Hey," he said, trying to return the smile.

"We need to talk," Sirius said.

"I know."

They walked in silence through the castle and out onto the grounds, and around the lake so they didn't disturb the party. The music could be heard from where they were, but so could the crickets.

"So you and Remus," Harry said eventually.

Sirius smiled. "Yeah."

"And that's ... new?"

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair like he always did when he wasn't feeling his most confident. "Yeah, and it's going to be..."

Harry looked at him. "Perfect?" he suggested.

Sirius laughed. "I doubt it," he said. "Remus and I have never had the best luck."

Harry shrugged. "Things change," he said and he could feel Sirius's eyes on him.

"Speaking of change..." Sirius began.

"If this is about Draco Malfoy, I don't want to talk about it," Harry said, cutting him off.

"I don't want to fight anymore," Harry said, unnerved by the shrill sound in his voice. "We can't fight like that again. Not after the war. Not after everything."

Draco recovered quickly from the shock and stared intently at Harry. "Oh no," he said softly. "We can't have that."

Draco then gave Harry a slow, considering smile and stuck out his hand towards him.

Harry took it without hesitation and Draco pulled him to his feet.

"You don't want to talk about anything real, Harry," Sirius said, almost coldly.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Painted any skies lately?" Sirius asked. "Or have you gone further away and started painting the stars?"

"What's wrong with--"

"Remember the night we dug up Voldemort's mother?" SIrius spat at him. "Remember how bright the stars were then?"

"No, I--"

"There was a shooting star," Sirius continued, "and you laughed out loud and told me to make a wish. Well, I wished for us to win the war, Harry, and we did. What did you wish for?"

"I don't remember--"

"You gave the sky the finger and shouted that you wished this could be a burial instead of an excavation."

"Maybe I was talking about--"

"And then you told me you wanted to be buried in an unmarked grave so no one would bother you like they've been doing all your life. Did I get that right? Wait, and then you lay in the grave and asked if I could take a picture of the two of you since you didn't have a good one of you and your own mother."

Harry was silent.

"You wanted to die, and I'm sure you tried your best, Harry, but you ended up with life. Your life. But you want to pretend like it's someone else's. Someone who paints stupid pictures and plays the guitar and grows a beard and dates Slytherins."

Sirius was breathing heavily now and Harry didn't want to look at him.

"But you can't escape your past, Harry. It's part of you, and you need to acknowledge it, or end up with nothing."

"I WANTED NOTHING!" shouted Harry, suddenly furious. "Fighting Voldemort was my whole fucking life and now he's gone, and everyone else has gone back to being ok with everything that happened, so why shouldn't I?"

"Nobody is ok with what happened!" Sirius shouted back. "If you bothered to look outside your fake little bubble, you'd see that people are edgy. Terrified, even! You've been breaking up fights all year and helping people rebuild. How could you have failed to notice this? No one will ever be the same, and Harry, neither will you."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Harry said angrily. He glanced at the reflection of the moon in the water and had the sudden thought that it would make a lovely painting.

He looked at Sirius and suddenly felt the fight leave him. "What am I supposed to do now, Sirius?" he asked quietly.

Sirius smiled sadly. "That's not my call, Harry."

"But..." Harry looked around.

"If you want some advice," said Sirius gently, "I'd say that you should figure out what's important to you, and invest in whatever that is. If the crayon skies are really that important, by all means, keep them, but make sure it's what you want."

"I know what's important," Harry said, realising this was true. "I know what I want."

They could barely hear the crowd over their instruments. Harry was rocking out on the guitar when he looked over at Draco and grinned. Draco's eyes were shining in the lights and he smiled at Harry. Over the music, Harry could hear Draco's laugh somehow.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Harry looked at him helplessly. "I've done it all wrong."

Sirius smiled and put his arm around Harry's shoulders. "I think it's supposed to be done wrong."

Harry breathed out sharply through his nose and leaned against his godfather's shoulder. He watched the people dancing around the fire in the distance across the lawn, and out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of something bright. He could see Draco walking down from the castle toward the party, his blond hair shining in the moonlight.

Sirius followed his gaze and they watched Draco make his way across the lawn.

"Do you love him?" Sirius asked.

Harry felt a smile spread over his face and he ducked his head slightly, but Sirius laughed. Harry looked up into his face.

"You know, Sirius," he said slowly, "I think I do."

Sirius grinned back.

"AAAAROOOOHH!"

The smile on Harry's face faded. "What was that?" he asked, though part of him knew.

Sirius had frozen and was staring intently at the forest across the lawn.

There.

Harry's eye caught movement on the furthest edge of the forest. It was running fast, too fast.

Draco.

Suddenly Sirius was gone and a huge black dog was sprinting across the grass towards the werewolf. Harry's brain caught up and he was running as fast as he could towards Draco.

"DRACO!" he screeched.

The sound of the impact was sickening. They collided, and with the swipe of one paw, Draco was flying through the air into a tree. The werewolf was preparing for another pounce when Sirius caught up and flew at the wolf.

There was a snarling unlike Harry had ever heard and the two rolled into the trees. Then the sound of the blood pounding in his ears drowned out all other sound and Harry still hadn't reached Draco.

The party still hadn't realised, still hadn't seen, and Harry kept running.

Draco's hair was splattered with blood and his back was twisted at an unnatural angle. His limbs were all pointing in the wrong directions and -- oh god -- there was blood everywhere.

"Draco!" Harry shrieked when he reached him. "Oh God, oh God, oh God. Draco. Shit!"

Colin Creevey was suddenly there. "Harry, I saw it all."

Harry wheeled around. "Go get Snape!" he yelled at him.

Colin set off towards the castle at a run.

Harry bent down and tried to pull Draco away from the tree without injuring him even more. Was there a pulse? Where was his neck under all the blood?

He pulled Draco's head into his lap and squeezed Draco's wrist hoping to find what he was looking for. "Come on," he said frantically. "Be alive."

"Harry?" Draco said.

Harry thought his heart stopped with relief.

"Is that you, Harry?" Draco asked again.

"Yeah, Draco, it's me," he said, and felt tears start sliding down his face.

"It's all gone wrong, hasn't it?" Draco asked.

Harry choked back a sob. "No, Draco, don't worry, don't worry," he said, trying to clean some of the blood off Draco's face.

Miraculously, Draco smiled. "I'm not worried, Harry," he said. "I'm with you."

And Harry lost it completely. "God, Draco, hold on, Snape's coming, it's going to be fine, you'll be alright, I promise." His tears were cleaning the blood from Draco's face as he cradled his head in his lap.

"Harry? Harry?" Draco said faintly.

"Yeah, Draco, I'm here, what is it?"

"I -- I can't see you," he said.

Harry smoothed the wet hair off of Draco's forehead. "But I can see you," he choked through sobs. "I can see you."

Draco smiled faintly. Harry kissed his forehead, and by the time he sat back up, Draco's smile was gone.

The party raged on over the crackling fire, and the music, and the crying, and the moon.

We twist and turn where angels burn,

Like fallen soldiers we will learn,

Once forgotten, twice removed,

Love will be the death...

The death of you