Windmills of Time

Do you know where you're going to

Do you like the things that life is showing you

Where are you going to

Do you know?

-- From "Mahogany"

Chapter One - The Way We Were

21^st June, 1978

A light, hazy breeze sifted through the trees, gently rustling the leaves and providing a welcome waft of cool air in the midst of a balmy summer's day. The weather had been superb so far - bright sunshine, clear skies, with barely a hint of showers.

On this day, a young man was pacing the grounds of an old stone church. There was a hint of anxiety in his brisk step, and he was seemingly oblivious to the beautifully manicured gardens with its neatly trimmed lawns - its grass young, green and tender - and the brightly coloured flowerbeds lining its borders.

For James Potter, today was the most important day in his life. It was a day he wouldn't have given a moment's thought to at eleven; wouldn't have dreamt truly possible at fifteen; and didn't dare hope could ever come about even as recent as the beginning of the year.

It was the day he was to marry Lily Evans.

Just the thought of her name caused James' heart to skip a beat. Lily never failed to produce such an effect on him. It was a miracle in more ways than one that today had come about. At the (surely very grown-up) age of eleven, James had paid no attention whatsoever to the opposite sex. Girls, he had thought most assuredly, were purely made to giggle, and their sole existence on this earth was to annoy the hell out of the (very much more mature) male population.

James sniggered at his pre-pubescent precociousness as his thoughts drifted a few years onwards along the memory lane. He smirked as he saw himself at fifteen. He had noticed girls by then. Oh yes. But they, at least the one he had showed an interest in, had hated him with a vengeance. What was it she had said? 'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.' Yeah, that was it. Looking back, James grudgingly agreed with her. Of course, she is always right. He supposed he had been a bit of a jerk back then.

Fast forward a couple of years, the pictures of him and Lily Evans as Head Boy and Girl at Hogwarts floated before him. By then, the girl who had preferred the giant squid to his pathetic existence had mellowed out regarding him. Remus, dry and curt as he always was, had constantly remarked the change had occurred more on James' end, when he had finally attempted to pare down his swollen ego following six years of strutting about the school corridors.

Upon finishing at Hogwarts however, it had not been the lack of love or romance which had stilted their hopes for a wedding. Times had rapidly become darker, tenser. The continued rise of the much feared Dark Lord Voldemort had quelled any hopes for a normal family life. People avoided much personal commitment for fear of hurt and loss should one die, leaving loved ones behind with a hollow in need of filling. Those who did treasure commitment barely found the time to rejoice and indulge in it. For the rare couple who did procure a wedding, they were hesitant about starting a family, not wishing to bring a future generation into a harsh uncertain world.

Times were bleak, and people lived in fear. The promise of a warm, loving, stable family was but a distant improbable dream for all.

Despite the fragile state of hope and peace amid these times, James and Lily had decided to seize the moment, this chance they had, and to relish in the fact that happiness and love could exist even in the gloomiest of times. Or perhaps, happiness and love existed so strongly because of these dark times. James hazarded a guess that he appreciated his luck much more now he had learnt of just how precarious human joy and life was.

The groom glanced at his watch. Twenty past eleven. He had only been pacing for ten minutes. It had seemed like an eternity. There were still twenty minutes - twenty l-o-n-g minutes - before the ceremony was scheduled to begin. Nerves eroded the lining of his stomach as he tried to still his hands from wringing involuntarily. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a throng of Lily's friends and relatives noisily making their way up the stone steps to the entrance of the chapel. Their loud laughter and joyous exclamations rang clearly through the air and across the grounds to where James stood. James was debating whether to be a polite host and head over to greet them when a shout cut across his thoughts.

"So there you are! You've been hiding from us then, Prongs?" There was a trace of cheeky amusement in Padfoot's voice.

James turned to find Sirius, Remus and Peter slipping out of the back door of the church and striding across the grounds to meet him.

"We were wondering where you'd gone, mate," said Peter. "You gave us the slip."

"Poor bloke probably wants to have some alone time, away from three jealous, mischievous Marauders," offered Remus calmly, but his eyes were twinkling.

James flashed a quick grin and nodded. "Of course," he replied, finding his voice now he was surrounded by familiar faces, ones which did not belong to she whom he was about to marry. "Anyone would need a break from you lot."

Sirius and Peter looked highly affronted.

"Hey!"

"Jealous? Us? Why would we be jealous of Prongs wedding a gorgeous red-haired, green-eyed beauty who could hex you into oblivion?"

"So, have you seen Lily yet?" asked Remus, ignoring the mock indignation of the other two.

James shook his head. "No," he replied, glancing at Lily's Muggle parents standing by the chapel entrance, their faces alit with happiness and laughter, cheerfully shaking hands with family and friends alike as the wedding guests made their way into the church. There was a thin, sour-faced lady alongside them however. Petunia Evans looked as if she'd rather be attending a funeral.

"No," he repeated, turning back to Remus. "Those Muggles have this funny tradition that the groom must not see the bride before the wedding. It's supposed to bring bad luck or something." He shrugged.

Sirius raised his eyebrows so far up they disappeared into his fringe.

"But surely Prongs, you and Lily are anything but traditional, even by wizard standards. If I recall correctly, you proposed to Lily after having your skull split open by a Bludger, just after Erin had been sick all over her at the sight of your blood."

"Well, it wasn't ideal, I guess," admitted James, grinning sheepishly. He hoped the others wouldn't bring up the fact that he had been less than coherent that day either, due to that head injury.

"Lily did say she found it strangely romantic," he added uselessly at Peter's scoff.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "She was just saying that to protect your delicate ego, Prongs."

"Lily doesn't try to protect James' ego, Sirius," said Remus. Then he caught sight of Sirius' and Peter's looks. "Except that sometimes she does do that," he finished solemnly, without a flicker that betrayed he had originally thought otherwise.

"Stop bullying Moony into agreeing with you!" James commanded Sirius and Peter. "Remus, you know better than to let them change your mind for you," he said accusingly.

"I know better than to go against someone who can make my life a living hell through the application of practical jokes," answered Remus.

"Oh, you mean Wormtail?" said Sirius brightly, at once.

"Yes, Padfoot. Of course," Remus clipped dryly. "No one could never implicate you in that respect."

At that moment, Mr and Mrs Potter joined them. The two were dressed in their best, and smiled at the four friends in a friendly manner. But James could detect a hint of anxiety about them, so different to the image of Lily's parents. It was an air people acquired when they had been exposed to the horrors of war, the tension and fear that stemmed from a waging battle. Beneath the smiles and kindly exteriors, James could see his parents looked pale and drawn. Creases lined the features of their faces, and strands of grey could be seen threading through Mr Potter's black hair. Yes, the war weighed heavily upon all wizards. Lily had confessed to James that she had told her family virtually nothing about the war against Voldemort and the Dark Side. She didn't want to worry them over something they couldn't do anything about, in a world they did not really belong to.

"Son, you ready?" James' father asked. "It's about to begin."

James felt a lurch within the mid-regions of his stomach. He was ushered by his parents and friends into the chapel. The organist was already playing the prelude music - Pachelbel's Canon in D - and excited chatter was filling up the church. As James and Sirius, the best man, made their way up to the altar, the hum of nattering died down abruptly. James cast a nervous smile at his parents as they seated themselves in the front row.

The organist then skillfully merged from Pachelbel's Canon to Mendelssohn's Wedding March. At this point, Remus and Peter, acting as groomsmen, joined them, up near the altar. Glancing at those gathered inside the chapel, however nervous he was, James couldn't help feeling extremely proud, extremely contented and extremely thankful that he could experience such an occasion. He was to finally wed Lily, and could share the moment with his family and best friends. The fear and darkness that had shrouded the wizarding world for the past eight years was forgotten for the moment, and in its place was a feeling of pure joy and hope. He felt a shiver trickling down his spine, and goose bumps crawled all over his skin as he saw Lily, being led by her father, walking down the aisle. James felt fit to burst, despite a quivering which threatened to cause his legs to give way from underneath him. It was an excitement, an eagerness and an anxiety akin to that of an adrenaline rush before a Quidditch final. But amplified over a thousand times.

It was indescribable.

When Lily reached him (it felt like both an age and a blink of an eye at the same time), they made their way up to the altar together. The priest looked at them and smiled. A hazy mist engulfed James' mind as the words of welcome were spoken. It cleared just in time for him to hear the words, "Wilt the love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

James swallowed hard to prevent his words, albeit all of two syllables, tumble over one another.

"I will."

The priest then turned to Lily and asked her the same question. Looking directly into James' eyes with her own emerald ones, she stated firmly, "I will."

James' heart was beating harder than the wings of a struggling Snitch in a Seeker's grip. He willed his voice to steady.

"I, James Tobias Potter, take you Lily Kathryn Evans, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love.

I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

I will trust you and honour you.

I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully.

Through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy.

What may come I will always be there.

As I have given you my hand to hold,

So I give you my life to keep. So help me God."

James dared not look up into the faces of his parents, nor at his friends standing a few feet away from him at the altar. He could sense the emotion thickening inside the chapel without gauging anyone's expressions. He tried to clear his mind of the mounting sentiments welling up through him as Lily returned her vows in the clear voice he had grown to love. As she neared the end, James took a deep breath, and fighting to placate the tremor in his voice, he joined Lily.

"Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you,

For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay

Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried.

May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me."

As they finished their vows, James stole a peek at those close by. His mother had tears shining in her eyes, a look of fierce pride in her face. As did his dad. Even the strain brought on by the ongoing war could not dampen the pure joy and fulfilment at seeing their son being wedded. On this day, in this moment, however briefly, the lines of worry on their faces melted away to be replaced by an expression of utter contentment. Turning his gaze to the side, he saw Peter hastily brush away a tear. Remus and Sirius looked pretty choked up with emotion themselves.

James' hand shook as he slipped the wedding ring upon Lily's finger. The priest's words echoed in their ears as the two moved in for their kiss.

"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and inspired messages are only partial; but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear."

A huge joyous roar erupted as the couple sealed their vows with an intense kiss. As the procession made their way out through the doors of the church, a familiar figure made its way towards the newlyweds.

"My heartiest congratulations to you, James and Lily," said Albus Dumbledore sincerely.

"Professor!" cried Lily in delight. "So glad you could come. We thought you were away in Spain to deal with the Minster of Magic there."

"Still polite and respectful after leaving Hogwarts I see," chuckled Dumbledore. "Albus will do, Lily. We are working together on the Order after all. And yes, I am supposed to be in Spain, but I did not wish to miss today. I just wanted to offer you my blessings before I dash off. Good day, Mr and Mrs James Potter."

And with a wink, the headmaster Disapparated silently before Lily's Muggle relations even noticed the wizard's presence.

"Well, well, well, Mr and Mrs James Potter. You do attract the most distinguished guests," teased Sirius as he strolled up to the couple, with Remus and Peter in tow.

James and Lily exchanged amused looks.

"Yes," concurred James. " I guess we do."

~ * ~

March, 1979

Easter was approaching, but life was far from the theme of renewal the holiday symbolised. In fact, there wasn't even to be a holiday for Sirius Black. Being an Auror during times of war meant you had to sacrifice your personal life. Sirius had been working twenty-hour days ever since he had completed his Auror training a month ago. Under normal circumstances, the training would have taken at least half a year more, but with the dire situation the Light side currently was in, the severe shortage of Aurors (especially with numerous members being victims of Death Eater attacks each week) combined with Sirius' natural aptitude for the profession, he had been awarded his license ahead of time.

It was dark as Sirius slinked along one of the dark alleyways that snaked through the labyrinth of unkempt, dilapidated buildings which populated the inner city slums of the poorer part of London. The putrid melange of scuttling rats, dirty stagnant water, the stench of urine and damp rot was overpowering. Sirius tried to smother his nasal passages with a handkerchief as he hastened his pace in his ardent urge to get away from the gloomy atmosphere. He dared not Disapparate as he knew there were Death Eaters lurking within the filthy maze, and the popping sound, as silent as he would try to make it, would alert them to the presence of an intruder. No doubt if he was heard, the Aurors would be on the receiving end of another unexpected ambush. They had just lost seven of their kind in the past week, in two different raids. Among them were Gideon and Fabian Prewett, two valued members of Dumbledore's underground network - the Order of the Phoenix, who had heroically fought off five of Voldemort's most subservient minions, one of them being the formidable Antonin Dolohov.

Once out of detection range from the shadows roaming the warren of derelict housing, Sirius Apparated to the Potters' home just on the outskirts of Cambridge. Knowing that Lily was fanatical about stationing protective wards around the house, Sirius stood out at the gates and hollered at the top of his voice.

"Hey, Prongs you ole git! Let me in here, will you?"

Sirius saw the light come on in the hallway, and a moment later, James' head poked out the front door.

"Padfoot! Geez, keep that racket down will you? People do live around here, you know." But he was grinning.

He disabled the wards his wife had cast around the house (it took the good part of five minutes) and beckoned Sirius into the hallway. Lily appeared out of the kitchen and gave him a warm welcome.

"Hello, Sirius. Are you off duty?" Sirius nodded. "Good. You're just in time for dinner. Lily's made shepherd's pie tonight, with roast potatoes and vegetables," James informed Sirius. "Trust me, it's as good as Hogwarts cooking."

"Ah," enthused Sirius, rubbing his hands together. "I do commend myself on my impeccable timing."

*

"You seem to have a gorgeously cosy set-up here, Prongs," commented Sirius approvingly a short while later as he eyed the furniture and tasteful décor of the dining room.

Lily bustled in with the last of the dishes and sat herself down beside James.

"All my doing," she told Sirius proudly. "Should never trust a man with this sort of work. You see that eyesore over there?" She pointed to where a small statue of an abstract subject stood in the corner.

Sirius screwed up a face as he saw the hodgepodge of vivid colours splashed haphazardly over it. The colours clashed horribly.

"Him," Lily said simply, jerking her head towards James.

"It's art!" protested James. "Muggle art. Like Picasso."

Sirius let a bark of laughter. "Picasso was a genius. His were masterpieces. This," he waved his hand in the direction of the statue, "-- is replicated junk."

James shot him a huffy look.

"To continue what I was saying Lily," Sirius went on, paying no heed to Prongs, "I have to say I am so impressed with this place! I know I haven't visited recently, due to the work at the Ministry, but still. The two of you have done a wonderful job in a short space of time."

"Thanks," said Lily happily. "My parents helped out a bit, so did James'. We are also very lucky that James, you know-- "

Sirius nodded. "I'm sure the prize money from all those Quidditch victories help a lot." He sighed theatrically. "I really should have practised as a Beater instead of volunteering to get my arse kicked in Auror training every day."

James blushed slightly, as he had come to do so each time the teasing about his Quidditch earnings came up.

"We have a good team," he conceded, "and Derek Perry coached me well back in my Hogwarts days."

Sirius dropped his fork with a clatter and stared at James in shock.

"Prongs! You're humble! Where did your ego go?"

"Oh, it's still around in full force," answered Lily airily for him, her eyes dancing in amusement. "He just keeps it in check in my presence."

James muttered something inaudible under his breath as he speared up a broccoli floret and thrust it roughly into his mouth.

"Lily's not half bad either," he said gruffly after a few moments' silence as he chomped on the vegetable. "They are well pleased with her work at the Ministry so they are. Pay her a pretty penny for those charms and wards and hexes she comes up with."

Sirius wasn't surprised to hear this. Lily had always steamrolled past any other student in Charms back in her school days, no matter how hard James and Sirius had tried to topple her from that sweet spot. They had been able to top every class save Flitwick's. And now as a worker in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, she had made her mark in casting powerful reversal spells and Obliviating charms, and her presence was often demanded throughout various departments within the Ministry.

The three friends continued their light banter over dinner. Relaxed, joking around, just like the old days back in the Gryffindor common room. They reminisced over the instances when James and Sirius had angered McGonagall to such an extent that the Professor set her glasses askew as she brandished a finger at the culprits in her fury. The memories of those much-awaited for Hogsmeade trips where they would splurge their Galleons, Sickles and Knuts in Honeydukes and Zonko's and on Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks.

"Would you want to stay the night?" James asked Sirius as they stood up to clear the table. "You can have the spare bedroom."

Sirius was sorely tempted by the proposition.

"Well..." he began.

James guessed his friend's hesitancy.

"I'll tell Longbottom you're here with us," he offered. "In case he needs to contact you."

"That'd be smashing," thanked Sirius.

Sirius followed James into the kitchen to inform Lily, who was charming the dishes to wash themselves while humming to a tune on WWN.

"Great!" she said, as she magicked the last of the dishes into the cupboard and stuck her wand back within the folds of her robes. "Well, how about a game of - "

But what game she had intended to suggest James and Sirius never found out as her sentence was rudely cut short by the piercing wail of a siren reverberating from the living room.

The three raced into the room beside them, and there, on a map of Britain that was stretched across the wall of the Potters' living room, was a bright red light flashing like a beacon.

The map had been Remus' idea. It was a spin-off of their Marauder's Map, whereby it showed a rough network of the main roads and sites around Britain, with the various locations of the members of the Order scattered throughout the country. As with the Marauders Map, coloured dots representing each Order member trickled back and forth the isle as the members went about their business. Mad-Eye Moody had then charmed each dot to emit a warning tone and blinking lights should the person it represented head into any trouble.

A dot was flashing vividly now, and the persistent screeching filled the house. Sirius peered at the map and saw that the dot was labelled 'Dorcas Meadowes'.

He turned back to look at James, who had turned the colour of hospital sheets.

"James?"

Without uttering even so much as a word, his friend had Disapparated. Sirius and Lily stared at the empty space where he had stood just a second ago in shock. Turning back to the map, Sirius now saw a tiny dot labelled 'James Potter' hovering near where the beacon was still flickering.

"JAMES!" howled Sirius.

He and Lily exchanged tacit looks and both Disapparated in suite.

Sirius nearly Apparated on top of James, who was crouching behind a hedge that lined the front lawn of Dorcas Meadowes' house. A second later, a faint 'pop' told him that Lily had joined them.

Acrid smoke curling through the air nearly asphyxiated Sirius as he forced himself to keep from choking out loud. His eyes were getting watery from the stinging caused by the pungent aroma of the polluted air.

"What happened?" he asked as James pulled him down from the view of some shadows that were skimming round the sides of the house. "Is she okay?"

"We were too late," James answered bitterly, and he pointed up at the inky sky.

A chill swept over Sirius as he saw with a sinking heart, that suspended over the burning house was a mammoth skull with a snake slithering through it like a tongue, wreathed in a mist of sickly green smoke, glittering as if made from emerald stars.

The Dark Mark.

"Meadowes," he uttered faintly.

"Dead," came James' flat reply. "I arrived just in time to catch the green bolt of lightning zip across her living room. Just in time to hear her screams...."

The cynical feeling of defeat and helplessness flooded Sirius. A figure was moving inside the house, and from the thick swirls of grey smog emerged a tall, robed wizard. He was thin and moved stealthily with a snake-like grace.

Voldemort.

Sirius forgot himself, and in his hot-headedness, charged up towards the enemy. He could hear Lily screaming with terror in the background, and James' spluttered cry of warning. But he didn't care. Hadn't he done enough? Hadn't the Dark wizard done enough to terrorise the community? Hadn't he killed enough people to put his life payments permanently in the negative column? Hadn't he caused enough damage and pain and suffering already?

The Dark Lord was nothing if not surprised by the sudden attack, but recovered almost instantly. The wizard raised his wand menacingly, eyes glinting in a cold, maniacal manner.

"Ava-- "

To Sirius, it seemed as if everything had begun to move in slow motion. The crackling from the fire engulfing the Meadowes house dulled; the etching of the Dark Mark against the velvet sky blurred; the screams and shouts of terror grew muffled. He could see Voldemort's lips moving, but could hear no sound..

And Sirius couldn't move his legs.

"PROTEGO!" A loud voice penetrated through the haze.

Sirius fell to the ground, his wind knocked out of him. Suddenly, everything returned to its regular pace. The sharp crackling of the fire before him; the clear imprint of the Dark Mark against the sky; the frenzied screams and shouts; the thick smoke enveloping him, choking him.

James had thrown him onto the ground and had cast a protection shield over the two of them. Sirius could barely get his bearings straight when he saw the shield dissolving before his very eyes.

"Lily! Disapparate! Go!" he heard James bellow.

Then, as the Dark Lord raised his wand once more, Sirius felt himself being whisked away.

*

"Padfoot?" came a voice from far away.

Sirius blinked. And blinked again.

He was back in the Potters' living room. The map was now silent, and the dot that had once been labelled 'Dorcas Meadowes' had long since faded away.

Sirius didn't want to revert back to reality. He didn't want to face the fact that yet another member of the Order, yet another friend, was gone. Dead. At the hands of the Dark Lord. He closed his eyes again and wished he could have some of Madam Pomfrey's potion for dreamless sleep.

"Padfoot, you okay?" came James' voice once more.

Sirius mumbled something incoherently. If anything, just to stop James from asking such a rhetorical question. Of course he wasn't okay!

"You nearly got yourself killed!" James' voice was harsher now, frightened.

Sirius ignored him.

"What happened to you?" James now demanded.

Sirius shrugged. He caught James' expression and softened slightly. He at least owed Prongs an explanation for his behaviour.

"I don't know," he said finally. "I felt so... so angry all of a sudden. Like why. Why is he doing all this? What's the point? I got so worked up, I guess I just froze. Sorry," he added, after a few moments' silence.

"It's okay, Padfoot," sighed James. "At least we got away."

"You were pretty impressive standing up to Voldemort," remarked Sirius. And he meant it.

James' mouth sealed in a thin, firm line.

"And it probably won't be the last time I do," he said grimly.

~ * ~