Cinderella (A Hogwarts Production)

Cinderella (in Hogwarts)

A Hogwarts Production

Featuring Harry Potter as "Prince Charming" and Hermione as Cinderella

Ron: Harry, you need a girlfriend.

Harry: Why?

Ron: BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR SAID SO! *Looks around* I mean because it'll be good for you...

Harry: Ok but how do I get one?

Ron: We hold a ball!

Harry: A ball? Ron, I think you've fallen off your broom to many times.

Ron: Of course a ball! With flowers, dancing, and we'll even do something with your hair and...

Harry: Dumbledore just made his third ball this month last week... come to think of it I don't know what it was for though. He seems to keep making them for no reason since The Yule Ball. Wait, what's wrong with my hair?

Ron: So, it's settled! We'll make you one! Oh, I need to call my party planner and the hairdresser!

Harry: WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HAIR!

* * *

Ginny: Hermione! My mirror has a spot on it!

Hermione rushes in, spits on spot on mirror and wipes away using Ginny's hair.

Hermione: All clean!

Ginny: My hair!

Luna: Hermione! I need someone to test my wart potion! Can you come here for a second?

Hermione: Oh! I think I here my step-mother calling me! *runs downstairs away from Luna* You called step-mother?

Mrs. Weasley (don't ask why she's the step-mother): Um, no I didn't...

Hermione: Of course I'll spit clean your shoes, Stepmother! *yells loud enough so Luna can hear*

Mrs. Weasley: What! When did I say that! *Hermione shrugs and starts to walks away* Wait! My shoes are dirty! Clean them! *gives shoes to Hermione who spit cleans them and gives back to Mrs. Weasley* What is with you and spit...

Ding dong!

Mrs. Weasley: Hermione! Get the damn door!

Hermione: *pulls door off hinges and hands to Mrs. W* Here you go!

Neville (standing where the door once was): *clears throat* His Royal Highness, Harry James Potter requests that all eligible bachelorettes come to a magnificent ball. One of the fine dames present at said ball, shall be chosen as Harry James Potter's new girlfriend! *runs away from the madhouse*

Luna: His name is James! *Rolls on the floor laughing*

Ginny: Harry is sooooooooo dreamy! *drools*

Mrs. Weasley: Since when was Harry "His Royal Highness"? Wow! Talk about a big ego!

Hermione: I guess I can't go to the ball since my step-mother won't let me...

Mrs. Weasley: What are you talking about! When did I say that! Of course you can go!

Hermione: I guess I'll just stay home by my lonesome while you have a wonderful time at the ball...

Mrs. Weasley: Are you deaf? I said you could go!

Hermione *whispering*: Stick to the script!

Mrs. Weasley*whispering*: But Hermione! The step-mother is so mean! I can have a little change of character!

Hermione *out loud again*: I'll just be in my tiny room with nothing but the house elves... *sobs and runs away*

***

Narrator: The night of the ball Cinder... I mean Hermione watches as Luna, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley ride away in a beautiful vomit green carriage.

Hermione: I want to go to the ball! *bursts out hysterically crying* It's impossible!

A little ball of blue light floats down from sky. A loud fart is heard and Lord Voldemort appears in periwinkle gown with sparkly wand in hand.

Hermione: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! He's returned!

Voldemort: Shut up! I'm your fairy godmother! *mumbles* stupid community service...

Hermione: *stops screaming* Oh, cool. Can I call you Voldi?

Voldemort: NO! I've come to tell you... Um, wait I know this...LINE!

Director: *screaming from backstage* Nothing's impossible!

Voldi: Oh right! *turns to hermione* Don't worry! Nothing's impossible!

*bursts out into singing*

Impossible, for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage

*points to Hagrid's pumkin patch with sparkly purple wand. The pumkin becomes a golden carriage*

Hagrid: Ahhhhhhh! My pumkins!

Voldi: Impossible, for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage

Hermione: Country bumpkin! Excuse me! What is that supposed to mean!

Voldi: And four house elves will never be four horses

*points to four house elves and turns them into horses*

Hermione: *falls to knees* Noooooooooooooo! Not the house elves! *throws knitted hats at the house elves/horses hoping the hats will miraculously help them*

Voldi: Such fol-de-rol and fiddledy dee of course is, Impossible

Hermione: USE PROPER ENGLISH! FOL-DE-ROL AND FIDDLEDY DEE ARE NOT CORRECT ENGLISH LANGUAGE PHRASES*

Voldi: But the world is full of zanies and fools

Hermione: What's that supposed to mean!

Voldi: Who don't believe in sensible rules

Harry(somehow he got his voice heard from his castle/dorm room): That's me! ..... wait, that means I'm a zany! *cries*

Hermione: ZANY IS NOT A PROPER NOUN!

Voldi: And won't believe what sensible people say

And because these daft and dewy-eyed dopes

Harry: *cries even louder*

Voldi: Keep building up impossible hopes
Impossible things are happening every day!

*ends song*

Hermione: Name one! All you just did were simple first year spells!

Voldi: Um... well, anyway! Here's your dress and glass slippers... *points at Hermione and she is wearing a beautiful white dress and glass slippers*

Hermione: *interrupts* Wait, this is the same dress I was just wearing! Ow! These slippers hurt! What idiot invented glass slippers!

Voldi:... and globs of hair potion....

*points to hermione and her hair is automatically straightened*

Hermione: Thanks! Hey, wait! Why globs? Are you trying to say something about my hair!

Voldi .... and off to the ball! Just be home by midnight!

Hermione: Why midnight?

Voldi: *shrugs* That's what the script says. Goodbye, darling! *waves and poofs away in a dusting of periwinkle fairy dust. Hermione is already riding away in her carriage*

* * *

Narrator: At the ball Hermione is seen on top of beautiful sweeping staircase.

Harry: It's beautiful! It looks as though it were a beautifully selected marble and cut out by an angel! The girl standing on top of the stairs isn't half bad either...

*Hermione runs down sweeping stairs and into Harry's arms*