This Present Darkness

Chapter Two

"A friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

Proverbs 27:6

It was lunchtime when Hermione had finished in Dumbledore's office and she went of search of her friends in the Great Hall. Sure enough, they were at the head of the Gryffindor table with the other Prefects. Ron and Harry spotted her as she came towards them and they stood up and rushed over to her immediately. Both of them crushed her in a bear hug.

"Hermione!" Harry said, obviously relieved.

"We've been worrying ourselves sick about you!" Ron said anxiously.

Hermione's eyes filled with tears which she tried to blink away rapidly. She hated crying in public and had never done so at Hogwarts. "Do you know....?" She began hesitantly, overwhelmed with gratitude to see her friends.

"Yeah, 'Mione. McGonagall told all the Gryffindors last night after dinner. We were asking about you when you didn't show up," Harry replied, his face still wrinkled with concern.

"I suppose it's stupid to ask if you're okay," Ron said wryly, escorting her back to the table where curious Gryffindors were kindly trying not to stare too hard.

"I'm okay," Hermione sniffed and pulled out a hanky she'd taken from the room Dumbledore had given her. "I feel a bit... I dunno... disconnected from it all," she explained hesitantly. "I guess it still doesn't seem quite real."

"Shock," Ron said, nodding knowledgably.

"Yeah probably," Hermione said with a weak smile.

They sat down again. Ron with Hermione on his one side and his girlfriend, Padma sat on the other. Harry sat on Hermione's other side with his girlfriend, Ginny on the other. Both Padma and Ginny smiled sympathetically at Hermione.

"So, what now Hermione?" Harry asked gently, taking Ginny's hand and looking keenly at his friend.

"I'm going home at the end of the week, along with everybody else. As you probably know, Padma will take over my Head Girl duties for now. Thanks Padma," she said to the pretty, dark haired girl.

Padma smiled back. "Hey, no problem."

"Then, I'm going to have to sort out the will and what to do about the house and their belongings and so forth," Hermione continued.

"Won't you need some help with that?" Ron asked, forking some mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Yeah. Dumbledore has appointed a guardian for me," Hermione mumbled, beginning to dish up some lunch for herself.

"Who?" Harry asked casually, dabbling a bit of roast beef in his gravy.

Hermione was silent. Four pairs of curious eyes fixed on her, suddenly suspecting something was up.

"Er... Professor Snape," she finally said in a rush, going red for some reason.

"Professor Snape!" Ron practically yelled. "You must be kidding! Why would Dumbledore appoint that great, slimey git?" All four of them stared disbelievingly at her.

"He said no one in my family could do it and that none of the other teachers were available," Hermione said miserably. "He's no more keen on the idea than I am, that's for sure," she added almost petulantly.

Harry looked flummoxed. Ron looked ropeable. Padma looked thoughtful and Ginny looked speculatively at Padma, as though she suspected that the other had the same thoughts as her.

"Well, look on the bright side Hermione. You and Professor Snape have a lot in common," she said reasonably. This time three pairs of disbelieving eyes focused on Ginny. Only Padma looked unsurprised by what Ginny said.

"What?" Ron actually did yell this time. "What on earth does Hermione have in common with that greasy bastard?"

"Well," Ginny said defensively, "both of them are really smart, right? Practically geniuses. They both like nothing better than to study and experiment. They both spend a lot of time with books rather than other people. I mean, at least they'd be able to talk at each other's level." She looked appealingly around at the group for support. Ron looked at her like she was crazy. Harry looked thoughtfully confused. Padma looked speculative.

"I do not have anything in common with Professor Snape," Hermione said through clenched teeth. "He hates me and I hate him. It's really very simple!"

"Maybe away from school and classes you can start relating to each other like a pair of adults rather than a student and a teacher," Padma suggested sensibly.

"He hates me because I'm a Gryffindor and a friend of Harry's, Padma. It goes beyond the student/teacher thing," Hermione said flatly.

Padma shrugged as though she didn't really agree but couldn't be bothered arguing further. "If you say so."

Hermione picked at her food and the conversation shifted to the safe topic of Quidditch for a while. "Are you coming out to the Quidditch pitch with us this afternoon?" Harry asked Hermione at the end of lunch.

"No thanks, Harry" Hermione said with a smile at him.

"What are you going to do?" Ginny asked sensitively.

"Dumbledore has given me a private room and I might go up and just read for a bit or take a nap. It's been a bit of a roller coaster for me the past 24 hours," she replied honestly.

Harry nodded and they waved as they headed out into the sunshine of the quadrangle. Hermione headed back up to her room and lay on the bed, trying to think and clear her mind to make plans but her head felt as light and empty as a balloon. Once more, she lapsed into a time warp and before she knew it it was way past dinner time and lights out.

* * *

That night, she went for another late night swim in the huge bath next door and collapsed tiredly into bed. Without sleeping potion, she couldn't get to sleep so she climbed out of the bed again and put on a robe and slippers she found in the room. She thought about heading to the top of one of the towers. They were generally occupied by snogging couples most nights but there was one on the far side of the castle away from the dormitories that was usually free of people due to it's distance from the inhabited areas of the castle.

She decided to fly up there as it was quicker than walking and she was less likely to get caught. She was a good flier, she just was hopeless at Quidditch. In fact, she was hopeless at any team sport. Her mind was too one-track to ever succeed at the multi-tasking that team sport required. She took her broom from the pile of her belongings that someone had thoughtfully brought to her room - probably one of the house elves.

She landed softly in the cool night air on top of the tower. The view of the night sky was breath-taking and she wondered why they didn't hold the Astronomy lessons up here. She took a deep breath. On the rare nights she couldn't sleep during her seven years at Hogwarts, she had always come up here. She had discovered the place early on during her stay at Hogwarts but had never shared it with anyone. She only came up here maybe once or twice a year anyway. She usually had no problem getting to sleep.

Snape watched her through narrowed, resentful eyes. Every now and then she did appear up here to invade his space. It wasn't every often but so far he had always managed to conceal his presence. He shrunk into the deep shadows next to a wall and waited for her to leave - she usually only stayed an hour or so. This was the one place that Snape could be in the fresh air and not feel exposed or vulnerable. No one could see him in the unlit night air on this tower and no one disturbed his solitude. He treasured this place as his own and disliked her intrusion intensely.

It was a cool night but with no edge to it. Summer was definitely near and her robe was too heavy. As she was wearing a full length cotton nightie under it, she didn't feel self-conscious taking her robe off. Snape was alarmed. He hoped she had no intention of taking anything else off. As it turned out, she didn't and he relaxed reflecting that she looked like a ghost in the almost Victorian style nightie. She stood so still for so long that Snape began to worry. Was she in her right mind? He hoped she wasn't planning on throwing herself off the tower. He didn't think he'd be very good at talking round suicidal teen-agers.

Finally she went and sat down next to the battlements, curled in a ball and with her face turned away from him. It wasn't long before she was fast asleep.

Well - this is just great, Snape thought irritably. Now what did he do? He couldn't just leave the child here to freeze when it cooled down in the early morning hours which weren't that far off. On the other hand he couldn't wake her up and tell her he'd been inadvertently spying on her for the past goodness knows how long she'd been up there. Snape railed over his predicament and methodically cursed her, Dumbledore and everyone else he could think of. Why couldn't Potter or Weasley come and find their little friend, damn it?

Finally, he pulled out his wand and using a gentle levitation spell he carefully lifted her into his arms. He would have levitated her all the way back to her room but the spell was exhausting - more so than if he'd just carried her as he planned to.

Thank goodness she didn't snore and was small, he thought with aggravation as he set off for her room in Dumbledore's tower which he'd been told about as her guardian. He cursed his luck when he came across two young Hufflepuffs sneaking their way back from one of the more popular towers. "Ten points each from Hufflepuff," he said swiftly, as though it wasn't at all odd for him to be carrying around a seventh year in just her nightie at 2am in the morning. They stared wide eyed at him, for once more interested in what he was doing than in the fact they'd just lost 20 points for their House.

Right on cue, the sleeping girl sighed and snuggled against his chest as though seeking warmth. The two Hufflepuff's eyes got very big at that point. "Are you waiting for me to take some more points from your House?" he hissed at them. They scurried off towards their common room and he looked grimly down at Hermione. Was there any need for her to press her face against his chest like that, he wondered or for her to have slipped her arms around him? He could smell her hair again with the added freshness of having been out in the night air. He hurriedly stepped up his pace as he approached Dumbledore's tower. He knew she wasn't heavy for a girl but she felt heavy. After all, he was a slender man himself and wasn't used to lugging people around. Besides, she kept snuggling closer to him and it was discomforting him badly.

He placed her carefully on her bed once he reached her room. Of course, she would choose that moment to wake up. He froze just as he was about to stand up, his face inches from hers. She blinked a bit and looked at him hazily. Then her eyes got very wide. "Snape? What are you doing here?" she said, beginning to sit up and readjust the neckline of her nightie.

He gratefully retreated to the other side of the room and averted his eyes from the creamy skin exposed around her neck and shoulders. "I was bringing you down from the tower where you'd obviously decided to freeze to death," he jeered scornfully.

She frowned and pushed her hair out of her face. "Of course, I remember going up there now. How did you find me?" she asked, a bit suspiciously.

"I was already up there, minding my own business and trying to get some fresh air," he said, turning away from her with his characteristic sneer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were already there? I would have left - immediately!" she replied sulkily.

"I was hoping you would leave anyway, without my having to give away my presence. I use that tower to get some much needed solitude. I didn't want students knowing I went up there," he explained icily.

"I wouldn't have thought you needed to go that far to find all the solitude you wanted," she muttered under her breath.

He heard and drew in his breath sharply at the cruelty underlying that careless remark. "What were you doing up there, Miss Granger?" He demanded stiffly.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted with a sigh.

"Well, you managed it on the tower," he said mockingly, his voice hard.

"Yes," she said on another sigh and got up to dig out another robe as it had suddenly turned cold.

He watched her coldly. "Do you want some more sleeping potion?" he asked suddenly.

She was tying on another robe and looked at him, surprised. "Yes, I probably will need more," she admitted with a shrug. Then she did something that Snape had seen her do many times before. She drew her bottom lip slightly under her top lip and bit it gently. It made her look ridiculously child like and defenseless as it was always accompanied by a distracted, apprehensive look. Her top lip was slightly larger than her bottom lip as it was which gave her face a naturally ingenuous, vulnerable look at times. Her habit of biting her lower lip only made it worse. That and the fact that it then made her mouth look red and swollen like she'd just been thoroughly kissed. Snape felt the skin over his cheekbones begin to burn and he abruptly turned away again.

"Come on, then. You can come with me and fetch it," he commanded harshly.

Hermione shrugged and followed him out of the room and back towards the dungeons where he kept his potions. He kept one step ahead of her easily, due to his long legs and Hermione was damned if she was going to trot to keep up with him. On the way there, they bumped into another couple. This time the girl was from Ravenclaw and the boy was from Slytherin. "Ten points each," he said in clipped tones, not breaking his stride.

"But sir," the boy protested. "What about her? She's the Head Girl and she's out of bed after hours." He pointed to Hermione. Hermione glared back but Snape whirled around and did a far more chilling job of it.

"Yes but Miss Granger is with me," he said through clenched teeth. If the boy had not been from Slytherin, Snape would have taken off another 10 points for sheer cheekiness. The boy's eyes grew wide from the implications of that remark and Hermione looked with horror at Snape, only to see his retreating back. With an angry sigh, she followed him down into the dungeons.

"Wait here," he said curtly at the door to his office.

He came back less than a minute later with a large bottle of sleeping potion. "Only 3 drops are needed, Miss Granger. As you know, it's not addictive or harmful. If you have any side-effects, come and see me about it immediately," he said brusquely, looking down at her superciliously with hooded eyes. Just once, Hermione thought suddenly, she'd like Snape to look at her with something other than contempt, dislike, indifference or anger. She stared at him silently for such a long time that Snape frowned darkly down at her. "Well, Miss Granger? Is that all or are you going to impose on my time still further?" he snapped.

"It looks like I'll be taking over your life for the next few months so you'd better get used to it," she said coolly.

His face tightened with anger. "So it would seem but don't get too complacent, Miss Granger. I'm not about to start putting up with any rubbish from you simply because you are my ward," he sneered.

"How about because I've just lost both my parents?" she said pointedly. Then she turned on her heel and left, leaving a stunned and seething Snape behind her.

* * *

Snape went back into his rooms after Hermione headed back to Dumbledore's tower. His thin lips were tight with anger. He realized he was angry because she had successfully made him feel guilty for being insensitive. He wasn't usually guilty when he was cruel but being her guardian did mean he should be more careful, he supposed.

It was nearly morning and tiredly he dragged himself to bed. If he skipped breakfast, he may get as much as four hours sleep. Once there however, he tossed and turned. The evening's events played through his mind over and over. Worst of all, he couldn't rid himself of the feel of her soft skin and warm body. He could remember the scent of her hair and clothes as well as if she were lying right next to him. Colour crept up over his angular cheekbones as that picture came clearly to mind. He squashed in wrathfully. She was a 17 year old girl, he told himself. He was nearly 20 years her senior. Not only that but she'd been his student and now was a legal ward. What he just thought was not only inappropriate and unethical, it was actually illegal in the wizarding community.

He was incensed with himself. He had not allowed himself to think of women since he became a Death Eater in his youth. Women were a distraction he could never afford constantly walking the tightrope he was on. As he had no stomach for rape or prostitutes, it had been a pretty lonely couple of decades. As women had not seemed to miss him on the whole, he'd written romance off very early in life. Now here he was unable to get his mind off a mere child like he was some thirteen year old boy with a first crush. His skin burned again in humiliation. He glanced over at his clock. It was 5am - so much for getting a lot of sleep.

Back in her room, Hermione took some sleeping potion and climbed into bed. Just before she fell asleep she had the fleeting memory of Snape leaning over her earlier, a mysterious expression on his face. She fell asleep smiling.

* * *

Hermione slept all through that day, only waking in time for dinner. Hurriedly she got dressed and went down to see her friends. They were relieved to see her looking okay and she told them what had happened; to her amazement, the looked uncomfortable. "What is it?" she demanded directly, seeing their faces.

"Well," Harry looked nervously around. "There are some rumours going around," he began, abashed.

"Yeah Hermione," Ron chimed in. "Everyone is saying that you and Snape were seen around the school last night together and... and..."

"And everyone is saying that you and Snape are... you know." Harry butted in, then blushed.

Hermione stared wide eyed at her friends. "Do you believe this rubbish?" She snapped.

"Well, you and Snape were missing all day today," Ginny began uncertainly.

"But both showed up for dinner," Padma finished bluntly, nodding at the head table where Snape sat talking to McGonagall.

"He was probably doing the same as me - sleeping!" Hermione said as though it should be obvious.

"Yes but... the Hufflepuffs were saying Rowena and Mark saw Snape carrying you around in just your nightie," Ron said accusingly.

"Yes, I accidentally fell asleep on one of the towers and Snape bought me down. Then he gave me some more sleeping potion!" Hermione explained impatiently.

"What where the two of you doing alone on a tower?" Ron protested.

"I didn't even know he was there! I went there because I couldn't sleep!" Hermione explained, starting to feel desperate. It did look bad, she suddenly realized.

"What was he doing there?" Ginny wondered aloud, softly.

Hermione shrugged. "When I asked him that he said he went there for solitude," she repeated. Four pairs of eyes stared at her. "That's what he said," she repeated.

"Well, everyone's talking 'Mione," Harry reiterated. "Just giving you fair warning."

She glanced around to find the off pairs of eyes fixed on her from various tables. Some young Hufflepuff was pointing at her and giggling. Hermione's cheeks burned. She glanced unintentionally at Snape and found him studying her. He sneered slightly in his typical way then began a conversation with Professor Vector.

Hermione threw her napkin on the table. "I'm going to my room," she announced and got up and walked off before her friends could protest. She didn't know it but Snape's black eyes followed her progress out of the hall and half the students watched Snape watching her with curious eyes.

* * *

Hermione went to Dumbledore's office after dinner time.

"Ah, my dear. I was expecting you. Have some tea and hot scones," he said kindly, indicating a chair to her. Her stomach was empty. She hadn't eaten much in the past couple of days. Dumbledore poured her some tea and loaded up a scone with jam and cream for her. He let her finish it before he asked, preparing another scone for her "how can I help you?"

"Did you tell the school about what happened to my parents?" Hermione asked in a small voice.

"Yes, my dear," he said gently, handing the second scone to her.

"Have you told them about my being Professor Snape's ward?" she asked hopefully.

"No. I don't think it's essential information for all the students," he said placidly as he watched her toy with the second scone.

"There are rumours going around," she blurted out.

"I know, my dear but the people who matter know the truth," Dumbledore said compassionately.

"They're saying that... that..." Hermione began uncomfortably.

"I know what they're saying, my dear but it's not true and you're leaving us in a few days so why worry?" he asked gently.

She nodded unhappily and put the untouched scone down. "Thank you Sir," she mumbled and left his office. On the way back to her room she started having an asthma attack.

Dumbledore sent for Snape.

* * *

Snape's face tightened with annoyance when he heard what Dumbledore told him. "So what have these stupid rumours got to do with me?" he snapped at Dumbledore.

"I'm more worried about Miss Granger's reaction. She's repressing her emotions and it's causing enormous pressure on her. A silly thing like this could be very hard for her," he explained patiently.

"And? This is my problem because?" Snape growled.

"Because you're her guardian now and your actions last night has caused her problems," he said inflexibly.

"My actions?" Snape said disbelievingly.

"Yes, carrying a girl in a nightie around in the middle of the night wasn't wise Severus," Dumbledore pointed out.

Snape sighed. "It was the quickest way," he protested.

"It wasn't the wisest way," Dumbledore replied unequivocally.

Snape got up and prowled around the office. "So what do you want me to do?" He finally asked, his exasperation apparent.

"Go and talk to her," he directed. "Calm her down. Comfort her."

Snape looked at him like he had started speaking Swaheli. "I don't know how to do that!" he barked.

"Well, it's time you learned," was Dumbledore's reply.

"She won't want me to!" Snape said with a hint of bitterness.

"You don't know that," Dumbledore argued calmly.

"Yes, I do!" Snape hissed, whirling around to face Dumbledore. "None of the students like me."

"You make sure of that quite deliberately," Dumbledore observed coolly.

"Yes but now, I can't just go and... go and..."

"Be pleasant? Be soothing? Be kind? Be compassionate?" Dumbledore supplied.

"Yes!" Snape retorted.

"Yes, you can. She'll learn to trust you in time. She has to. That's your job. May as well start now," the white-haired Head Master said simply.

Snape wanted to kick something but instead, stalked out of the office with his cloak billowing behind him. Dumbledore chuckled.