La Vida Loca

Ethelina rocked back on her heels. She was extremely tired from setting wards all around Santa Maria de los Milagros, something she'd been doing for the two days since she arrived. Viola and Don Hernandez had helped with some of the basic ones, and were teaching the villagers how to set them up for themselves. It had taken the pressure off her slightly, but she still had to perform the more complex guarding spells by herself.

Many wizards and witches of her parents' generation were great at defensive spells. Back in the time when Voldemort was at his most powerful a set of decent warding charms and active runes on a house could give a family time to escape. She'd had one such survivor for a housemate in Slytherin. He was a small boy who'd been thrust into the fireplace with a handful of Floo powder while the Death Eaters beat down the door. His parents had not had time to follow him. Nowadays, though, most British wizards hadn't bothered learning them, and with The Thousand Jaguars to defend them, the people of Santa Maria de los Milagros had abandoned their old protective magic.

Dedalera was keenly interested in the protection spells. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at a sequence of spiky shapes that Ethelina was laboriously chiselling into the doorstep of a house, muttering a lengthy incantation with each tap of her little hammer.

"They're runes, an old Norse way of writing."

"Why are we using Norse?"

"Because that's what I'm best at. These first three are the symbols for a family, danger and a barrier."

Dedalera scratched some symbols into the dirt beside the step with her fingertip. "These are the Mayan symbols for those things. Can we use them too?"

"I'm not sure. The thing is, all runes and symbols have layers of meaning. Even things have layers of meaning - like water, for example. Water is just water, but sometimes it symbolises life. If it's a river or moat, it could be a barrier. Carve it in the wrong place in a sequence and instead of making a barrier, you could simply give energy to the person coming through the door. I don't know enough about Mayan to be able to use the symbols. I dare say if you go to Hogwarts your teacher will work on your Mayan ones with you."

Dedalera nodded. She liked learning from this stern witch. Viola taught her things that would probably be more useful day-to-day, like Scouring and Summoning Charms, but they wouldn't be much help in a fight. Ethelina's magic was fiercer. Ethelina had even begun helping her to 'train' her jaguars; she'd been helping Dedalera make them do things like check people's scent to see where they might have been or what they were carrying. She remained silent and watched Ethelina continue her carving.

Meanwhile, Viola and a team of villagers were using verbal spells on the doors and windows of Don Hernandez' house. Doña Hernandez, a little recovered from her sickness but still weakened and under a curse, sat in her chair and watched them. "They are just simple spells," she said mournfully to Viola. "They'll only last a few weeks."

"Most of us can't do anything more complex. Even those who are powerful enough haven't studied the incantations for the tricky ones, and Eth says it's best if we set basic ones around town for now, and she'll back them up with heavier spells later. There are so many to cast... just doing the simple ones will take ages."

"Dedalera wishes to go to Hogwarts."

"We've explained to her, she has to come and live with you now. You'll take care of her."

"No," Doña Hernandez sighed. "She is a gifted child, and should go to school. Hogwarts is a very safe place, and we wouldn't have to worry about her there. When all the wards are in place, we will consult someone from your Ministry to see if they will accept her."

"There are good schools here - the Galician one is world-famous for its study of South American magic."

"It is also not very well hidden. The people who wanted the spell could easily take her from there."

"Well, she's your child now," Viola agreed. "Bert and I could keep an eye on her for you while she's in Britain." It felt strange to have a boyfriend again; she'd been single for several years. It also felt good. The one thing that worried Viola was how their relationship would fare when they returned to England, she to her flat just off Diagon Alley and he to his restaurant in Muggle London. They bickered a lot - she suspected Bert enjoyed the falling out and making up as much as she did herself - but she'd realised there was something wrong when she started coaching the villagers and Bert said nothing. He hadn't even commented.

That evening, as Bert cooked dinner in the Hernandez cortijo kitchen and Don and Doña Hernandez marked off the completed levels of protection on a map of the village, Viola dragged Ethelina into the orange grove. "Eth," she blurted, "why is Bert so mad at me? He's barely talked since you arrived. Is it because you mentioned Tonks and he realised he still prefers her?"

Ethelina laughed. "You're asking me about romance? I know sod-all about it. Bert... Bert's probably feeling useless. Before I came, he could memorise the spell. Now all he can do is cook, and he can do that at home."

"The villagers did look slightly embarrassed when he explained why he wasn't helping with the spellcasting..."

"How do you feel about him not being able to do magic? He's going to be much slower at doing some things than you are. He won't be able to do some things at all."

"Neither of my husbands were much use, even with wands. I like Bert. He listens. He cares about people."

Ethelina sighed. "Yes. Yes, he does. Just ignore him being prickly; he never stays grumpy for long. When he's grumpy, it's usually because he feels inadequate. Listen, I've got to get Dedalera's codex back to England, to a safe place. Do you think she'll let us have it?"

"I'm not sure. She'd probably be more willing to trust us if we could get her into Hogwarts. Doña Hernandez actually seems keen on the idea."

"Hmm. I'd better petition Dumbledore, I suppose. Did you finish the basic wards on the cortijo?"

"Yes, they're all in place."

"Good. I've finished medium-scale work on Dedalera's house and the Esteban house. To do much deeper work we'd need to take the places apart and embed spells in the walls; I don't have time for that. I thought of doing the church next - it's by far the largest building around, but everyone can fit inside if need be."

"Hmm. It might make sense to spend time on the one place everyone can hide at once, rather than on a few more homes."

"Exactly." Ethelina patted Viola's shoulder. "Look, Vi, Bert's a good chap, and you can probably make each other happy. Don't worry about him; he's basically a cheerful person."

"Yeah. Hey did you know that when you were kids he..."

"VIOLA! ETHELINA!" Dedalera came pelting towards them. "They are here!" The child broke down into sobs. Viola hugged her close.

Ethelina squatted down. "Who is here, Dedalera? Who is here and where are they?"

Dedalera was panic-stricken. "The strangers. The ones who kill. My jaguars tell me... the strangers have hurt Enrique!"

"That's the bar owner," Viola said, with a start. With her talent for gossip, she already knew the life stories of half the village, plus a few tasty nuggets of scandal. "What about his wife?"

"She got away," Dedalera sobbed. "Help him, help him, Viola."

"I need the Mayan book," Ethelina told Dedalera. "I will keep it safe for you, but that is why the men are here. May I take it?"

"To the devil with it!" Dedalera screamed. "A girl died centuries ago because of it, and my family are all dead because of it, and now Enrique is screaming with pain because of it. Take the book, I don't want it!"

Ethelina looked straight into Viola's eyes. "I'm going for the codex. Get Don and Doña Hernandez to the Esteban house. It's the safest place in the village right now."

Viola nodded. "You know they'll kill you if they catch you."

"I know the way to the house, the Death Eaters don't. They shouldn't be able to get in too easily, either." With that, Ethelina turned and ran, while Viola dragged the little girl back to the house.

Luckily, the moderately protected Esteban house was between the Hernandez cortijo and the bar. Bert and Don Hernandez took it in turns to carry Doña Hernandez who, despite her frailty, seemed quite heavy after a while. All three grown magic-users had their wands out - Doña Hernandez was fully prepared to use her remaining strength to go down fighting alongside her husband and Viola. Dedalera would occasionally look blank-faced as she took charge of her strange, ethereal jaguars.

"I would like to kill them all," Don Hernandez muttered.

"So would I. They killed my family," Dedalera told him.

"They've killed most of mine too with their curse," he replied. Dedalera looked at him with kindred feeling, and took her new adoptive father's hand for the first time.

"How many are there, Dedalera?" Viola asked urgently.

"Five. Three in the town, and two going up to my house. Ethelina is ahead of them, though."

Viola looked at Bert. How fragile he is, she thought. He can't cast an attacking spell. He can't cast a defensive spell. He can't even heal himself or Apparate out of here. Bert noticed her watching him. He knew what she was probably thinking. "Last summer I, plus two other Squibs and two part-humans, took on three Dark wizards and won. We didn't even have wands. I can take care of myself."

What? Viola thought incredulously. He'd already fought people like this? "They should have taken you apart," she said, and regretted it. She didn't mean to dishearten him.

Bert shrugged. "You'd be amazed at what you don't need magic to do."

The Estebans welcomed the family in, and were astonished when Don Hernandez explained what was going on in the village. "We have to get more people here where it's safe," Don Hernandez told Viola.

"I can do it," Bert said. "I'll go and get the villagers."

"You can't take on three Death Eaters alone," Viola told him.

"If I don't get out there and start something, they'll leave town and Ethelina will have to take on five," Bert said. "She's a good duellist, but I reckon two should be enough for her. Dedalera, can you split your jaguars and control two sets?"

Dedalera shook her head. "No, I am still learning to."

"Can you send them all with me, then? Eth's strong, but I don't have any magic. Doña Ana, you'll have to stay here to organise the villagers. Don Hernandez, we need you to go round the houses to get people to safety."

"I could come with you," the handsome nobleman said.

Bert shook his head. "The people will need you if Viola and I fail. You're the strongest wizard in the village. Viola, coming?"

Viola grinned. "Sure." As they left the house, trying to look as though they had no idea that there were Death Eaters in the village, she said, "I'd never have expected you to take control like that."

"Wait until you see me in my restaurant," he replied.

"I'm looking forward to it," she told him.

Sweating nervously and hearts thumping, they managed to saunter casually towards the local shop. Bert was terribly tense as he and Viola walked down the back street. The entrance to the village shop faced the main plaza - as did the entrance to the bar, where the Death Eaters were torturing Enrique, the bartender. Bert couldn't imagine what Enrique must be going through. Thanks to Dedalera's spiritual jaguars, they already knew that two of the Death Eaters were heading for her house, so Enrique must have told them where Dedalera had lived - of course, Enrique knew Dedalera was now part of the Hernandez family and would not be at the house. The Death Eaters who remained were simply playing with him to kill time.

While they were approaching the door of the shop, wails that sounded more animal than human echoed across the plaza.

As soon as they were inside the shop, Bert explained to Julio the owner what was going on. Julio and his wife, Rosa, were taking care of their infant grandchild for the day, so he was very alarmed. "We should all go out the back door," Julio said. "That way they won't see us all heading for the Esteban house."

"We have to help Enrique," Bert decided.

"Carlos the donkey-keeper went in earlier when the screaming started," Julio said. "He hasn't returned either. I stayed here hoping the wards would hold."

Viola shook her head. "They'd give you a couple of minutes, nothing more. You have to get the baby out of here. When they can't find the codex, they'll be really angry."

"In that case," Julio said, "we need to get everyone else to the Esteban house too. I'll start with the Culebra family."

"I'll distract them," Bert announced, rummaging through one of the spice bins that lined the walls of the shop.

"Bert, you can't! You don't know any magic," Viola protested, "and this is no time to be thinking about cooking."

"I'll call them out, and then Dedalera's jaguars will protect me. I need you to cast a decent wind spell - can you manage that?"

"Why on earth could I cast one of those?" Viola protested. "I don't need that sort of thing."

"Rosa can do it," Julio butted in. "She uses it to dry the laundry. If she helps you, will she have time to get away with Little Julio afterwards?"

"Definitely," Bert told him. He held a scoop of spice in his hand.

Like in a western movie, time seemed to slow dramatically as Bert stepped into the dusty plaza. Even Platero the donkey appeared apprehensive. "Death Eaters!" he called in English. "Scum! Come and face someone who knows how to deal with filth like you."

The doors of the bar swung open, and three masked figures walked out. "Who are you?" the tallest one called. "You're no wizard of any bloodline I know."

Bert strode forwards to get them in range. "My name is Bert Hawley. I'm a Squib, and I live among the Muggles."

A short, dumpy Death Eater began to wheeze with laughter. It sounded feminine. Bert dropped his hand, and as Rosa's wind spell caught up with him, he let the large scoop of hot paprika fly. The breeze carried the ground pepper powder straight to the Death Eaters and through the eyeholes of their masks. As the Death Eaters shrieked and began rubbing their eyes in pain, Julio darted out of the shop to find and help his neighbours. Bert ran towards the Death Eaters, hoping Dedalera's jaguars were beside him. Viola slunk along one edge of the plaza, aiming to get behind the Death Eaters and take them unaware.

After his brush with the evil de Laceys the previous summer, Bert had decided to develop some Muggle skills. He was still just a novice at boxing and judo, but wizards and witches rarely learned any form of hand-to-hand combat, and he was able to land a good few blows on the tall Death Eater. Viola ran in to help him - and ran into trouble. Bert's pummelling took the tall Death Eater down, but the other two grabbed Viola and twisted her wand arm painfully. She dropped her wand, and the dumpy female trod on it. There was a faint snapping sound.

Bert looked round on hearing Viola's squeaks. He's got his hand over her mouth, but she's still trying to scream, he thought admiringly. He grabbed the tall Death Eater around the throat and pulled him to his feet.

"If you hurt her, I'll hurt him," Bert told them. Where were the jaguars? Why wasn't Dedalera helping them?

"We're not going to hurt her," the dumpy female said. "We're going to kill her."

A voice echoed across the square. "If you're going to kill her, do it. Don't stand around talking about it."

In the heat haze at the other end of the plaza, where the road led away to Dedalera's farmhouse, stood Ethelina with the Codex under one arm. Wherever the other two Death Eaters were, they weren't with her.

"Shut up!" Bert yelled at his sister. "They'll really do it."

Ethelina twirled her wand carelessly. "I doubt that. I've got something they want. They have something I want."

"We have two things you want," the Death Eater who'd been silent until now pointed out. Viola frowned, and Bert wondered what she was thinking.

"Really?" Ethelina looked put out. "I ought to do something about that." She ripped the codex in two, then cast a Levitation Charm on one fragment. "Let's swap. I'll trade this for Viola."

"Don't you want your brother?" The Death Eater holding Viola sounded surprised.

Ethelina shrugged. "What use is a Squib?"

The Death Eater pushed Viola forwards, and she stumbled across to Ethelina as half of the Codex floated in the opposite direction. Bert had one of those rare moments when he felt as though he and his twin were thinking the same thoughts. As the Codex landed in the arms of the Death Eater, Ethelina hit the dumpy one with a nasty hex and Bert proved what use a Squib was by punching the tall one in the kidneys, then running for cover. The mostly-silent Death Eater Disapparated with a loud crack. His comrades sent a volley of curses and spells towards the two women, but something seemed to get in the way of the spells: Dedalera's jaguars were ripping them apart before they could reach Viola and Ethelina.

One of the Death Eaters turned and ran towards the bar, but the grouchy donkey, Platero, standing outside had had enough of strangers running past him all day, and headbutted the Death Eater straight in the stomach, knocking him into a wall. For good measure, as the Death Eater tried to straighten up, the donkey took a good bite out of the end of his wand. It munched the wood defiantly; glaring at the interloper in a way that suggested the Death Eater should be grateful his fingers weren't on the menu - yet.

As the female Death Eater made moves towards her, Ethelina stood up and cast Incendio on the remaining portion of the Codex. Realising they had failed, both the Death Eaters Disapparated immediately.

Viola poked at the ashes falling from Ethelina's hand. "Sod it, we've lost Dedalera's codex. That thing was priceless."

Ethelina shrugged. "She said she didn't want it any more. And from what she's said, and the portrait of her grandfather has said, I think they remember all the important stuff, so can teach others. Only the book is lost, not the knowledge." They ran across the square to the bar, where Bert had taken refuge. They edged carefully round the donkey, which watched them with glittering eyes as they passed him. Inside the bar, Bert was patting Enrique the bartender's shoulder. Enrique was curled into a tight ball and making a strange, high-pitched keening noise. Carlos the donkey-owner was ashen, and had helped himself to a large glass of excellent Spanish brandy.

"Help him, Eth," Bert pleaded. "He's not responding to me."

Ethelina and Viola joined him beside Enrique. "I can't," Ethelina replied, utterly at a loss. "I don't know how."

Viola took Ethelina's wand, pressed it against Enrique's head and uttered a few words. Everyone looked at her. "It's a dulling spell," she said. "Dad did things under the Imperius Curse years ago. When the curse was broken, he went to pieces because he realised what they'd been making him do. He couldn't sleep, wouldn't eat - it got to the point where all he did was cry all the time. Mum and I both learned this one then. It doesn't alter what happened, it just puts the pain aside while you learn to accept that the thing that's upsetting you is in the past."

"How long does it last?" Ethelina asked, as Enrique fell asleep, worn out by pain.

"You have to renew it each morning. Someone here will have to learn it and cast it on him."

Carlos poured out another three brandies and passed them round. They sat, sipping it, and waited for the townsfolk to join them. They knew Dedalera would be able to tell Don Hernandez that the intruders had left.

"You should have taken the Codex home immediately," Viola told Ethelina. "It might have been safe in England."

"Yeah, but it would have meant leaving people behind," Ethelina sighed. "I couldn't just abandon you all."

"I hope that spell wasn't in the half of the codex you gave to the Death Eater," Bert said.

Viola frowned. As the Death Eater had held her close, she'd recognised his voice and the musty smell of his clothes. Even as a schoolboy Severus Snape had smelled of the Potions lab. She'd never liked him, and now she hated him. She was also still worried, because it was he who had sent Ethelina after the codex in the first place. What was Severus up to? Had he wanted the codex or not?

"I ripped it across the middle of the first spell," Eth snorted. "Much good may it do him."

Viola leaned against Bert, relieved that most people were unharmed, and wishing there was a lot more love in the world.

***

Much to everyone's surprise, Viola carried on working in the warehouse when they all returned from Spain.

"I thought you'd want to get back into journalism," Cassandra, another Herbs By Floo employee, told her.

"No, this is an adventurous sort of job," Viola replied. "Besides, journalism takes me all over the place, and I quite like being able to stay in one place so I can see Bert." It also means I can keep an eye on Ethelina, Viola thought. I'm still not sure what she's playing at, but I'm going to keep her away from Snape and our old school chums.

Willy Orr nodded. "Well, it's useful having another witch around the place to do deliveries. When we had to rely on Eth doing them all, busy days were a nightmare. When's that Spanish kid coming over?"

"At the end of the summer. Eth got Dumbledore to accept her into Hogwarts - don't ask me how." Viola was planning to check up on Dedalera regularly, if only to see if the child had found out a way to remove the jade Mayan ring from her finger. (When she'd grumbled about it to Bert, he'd simply smiled and said he liked to see her wearing it.) She didn't think Severus Snape would try anything as Harry Potter had survived four years at the school without coming to harm. With Potter there to attract Snape's attention, Dedalera should be safe. Doña Ana was recovering slowly from the curse, and Don Hernandez seemed to be enjoying being village leader. By all accounts he was spending a great deal of time overseeing the laying of the defences around Santa Maria de los Milagros before Dedalera left the village to attend school. Volunteer wizards sent by the Spanish magical authorities in Asturias and Britain's Department of International Magical Cooperation were coming back frazzled from all the work he'd expected them to do. Even the teacher sent out to help Dedalera learn the basics of English was expected to do a bit of defence laying at weekends.

There was little good news of Enrique. He was mending very slowly, and Carlos and his donkey had taken over a lot of the bar work - Carlos supplied the food and drink and Platero the surly reception. Enrique spent a lot of time sitting on his steps beside his wife or in the Hernandez citrus groves, where only gentle Doña Ana was likely to come and talk to him.

Bert had introduced Viola to a whole new Muggle world. She still wasn't sure she liked most of it, although the food was great and the television fascinating. She viewed it as a foreign country in which she was a frequent traveller. After seeing Bert's Muggle travel guides, she'd resolved to do a series of similar ones for witches and wizards, beginning with Muggle Britain For Magical Tourists. She'd had another run-in with the editor of The Daily Prophet after trying to sell him her story about a few, clearly never-caught, Death Eaters being active again, thinking it would interest him as much as the events at the previous year's Quidditch Cup. No such luck. He'd handed her article back to her with the suggestion that The Quibbler might find it interesting. She was so insulted, she'd decided to focus on her travel guide for a couple of months.

Being with Bert was odd. He walked in both worlds and fitted in within neither. He was cheerful and brave, quite unlike most of her other boyfriends and husbands had been. He expected nothing more of her than that she should be herself. Well, and that she should be quiet every once in a while! What had started out as fancying him, which was where most of her relationships began and ended, had turned into love. She even had suspicions that her mother was shopping for her third set of 'mother of the bride' robes.

These are interesting times, she reflected, and I'm quite happy to be living in them.