Taboo

Draco Malfoy entered his sparsely furnished apartment. He excused the lack of furniture by calling it "modern." It wasn't that he couldn't afford to buy furniture--he just didn't have the need to. He conjured a glass of water and gulped it down. Now that he was an Auror, he had to stay in shape. He was frequently sent out to work "in the field," as his boss liked to call it, so he had to be prepared for anything. Just a over two years ago, he had been shot by some crazy Muggle who refused to let him onto his property to investigate. Lacing up his sneakers, he jogged down the cement steps and out onto the street, his feet pounding rhythmically on the pavement.

The best thing about his evening run was that few people noticed him. As the years passed, he found himself slipping into obscurity. He'd learned to dress and act like a Muggle well enough that he blended in with them. Occasionally, he'd catch young women staring at him, no doubt noticing his well-toned body. Or maybe he had toilet paper trailing from his shoes? He couldn't really tell.

He jogged past a newspaper stand, a café, and two pizza places. He paused to look both ways before crossing the street, wiping the sweat from his brow. The light changed, and he wove his way through the cars and the people toward the familiar path to the park. His feet made indents in the gravel as he worked his way up the hill. Feeling tired, he decided to stop and rest. He saw a bench underneath a shady oak tree near the playground. He sat down gratefully and watched wistfully as the children bickered over whose turn it was to go on the swings.

He was twenty-seven now, still unmarried, and currently without a girlfriend. He'd recently dated a girl named Laura. He'd thought he was in love with her and even considered transitioning to a more serious relationship, when he found out that she had been cheating on him--with two other men. Poor bastards, he thought, shaking his head. I bet they never knew.

He'd dated several other nice girls, but they were never anything more than just that: nice. He subconsciously compared them all to Hermione, but none of them ever me this standards, and they eventually drifted apart. He knew that he wasn't really looking for a lifetime partner; he was just trying to fill up the empty space Hermione had left. He'd never quite recovered from their breakup. In fact, he frequently found himself thinking of her, remembering her gentle touch and the way she fit into his arms so perfectly.

His thoughts were interrupted by the pitter-patter of a child's footsteps. He looked up and saw a little girl with brown pigtails run past him, a boy chasing after her.

"You can't catch me, Riley!" she giggled, bounding ahead.

"Can so!"

Suddenly, her foot caught on a tree root, and she fell forward onto the gravel. Sprawled in the dirt, she burst into tears. The little boy stood next to her, unsure of what to do. Malfoy rose from his bench and hurried over.

"Are you hurt?" he asked. The sight of a stranger only served to make her cry harder. Seeing his playmate so upset, the boy began to cry too. "Don't cry," cooed Malfoy, helping her up. Her dress was torn, and her knee was bloody.

"What are you doing to my children?" came an angry voice from behind him. It sounded slightly familiar.

"She fell," he explained, turning around. His jaw dropped. "H-Hermione?"

"Draco," she whispered, her hands flying to her mouth. "Oh my God."

"Mummy?" The little boy tugged at her skirt. "Cassie has a boo-boo."

"Come here, Cass," said Hermione, scooping the girl into her arms and setting her down on a bench. Malfoy and the boy trailed after him. "Tell me where it hurts." She whimpered and pointed at her knee.

"Are they both yours?" He sat down next to Hermione on the bench. Both children had stopped crying and were now staring at him curiously.

"Yes," replied Hermione, taking out some antiseptic wipes and a bandage from her purse. "Riley's six now, and Cassie turned four yesterday."

"Daddy's taking us to dinner at my favorite restaurant," said Cassie, smiling shyly at him as Hermione placed the bandage on her knee.

"There," she said. "All better."

"Nuh-uh. You have to kiss it first!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but bent down to kiss her daughter's knee. "Now run along and play until Daddy gets here. Riley, watch your sister and make sure she doesn't get hurt again." Both children ran happily towards the playground.

Malfoy shut his eyes and listened to them fight over the see-saw. It seemed like it was only yesterday...

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Does that really make it better?"

"Oh, Draco, you're so gullible..."

"Draco? Are you alright?"

His eyes snapped open. "Oh...yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking." They were both silent for a moment.

"You know," said Hermione quietly, "I always meant to tell you that I made you their godfather, but you didn't come to the wedding..." She chewed her lip anxiously.

"They were born before the wedding?"

"No, after. But in my mind I'd always thought of making you godfather."

"I'm sorry I didn't come to your wedding. I just...I didn't think I could take it," he confessed. "But godfather? Really?"

"I'm sorry that I hurt you," she said almost inaudibly, her eyes sweeping over his face, memorizing every detail. She hadn't seen him in nearly ten years, but he hadn't changed much. He merely looked a little older, perhaps more worn out. Everything else was the same: the eyes, the lips that she used to kiss, the pale skin and hair. She looked down at his hands, which were clasped in his lap. She noticed that he didn't have a wedding ring. "You're not married." It wasn't really a question, more like a statement. A statement that made him aware of how pathetic his life had become.

"No, I'm not married," he said, shaking his head. "I don't even have a girlfriend at the moment." He looked away, his cheeks burning. "See what I've become, what you've made me?" he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't make his mouth form the words.

"How are your parents?" asked Hermione, mercifully changing the subject.

"They're dead," he said simply.

"Oh..." She didn't know what to say.

"Dad died in Azkaban when I was eighteen. Mum followed soon after." He kicked at a pebble. "I don't miss them much."

"How are you? How have you been?"

"Me?" He shrugged. "Not bad, I guess. I got my dream job as an Auror. I have a flat here in London. Dated a few girls. Sometimes I go to pubs with my buddies, play a few rounds of poker. Win some, lose some. It's not a bad life. What about you?"

"I'm a Healer at St. Mungo's, in the Children's Ward," said Hermione. "It's nice to be around children. They make me...happy. I'm married to Joseph Whittaker..." She trailed off, and something in her expression told him that their marriage wasn't going so well.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For what happened--"

"That's over now, Draco," she said softly, looking into his eyes. "That was over a long time ago. You don't need to apologize anymore. Let it go."

"You are the only person I've ever loved," he blurted. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Mummy, look! I caught a butterfly!" Riley held out his cupped hands proudly. "Want to see?"

"Let it go," she said thickly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Malfoy wasn't sure if she was talking to him or her son. Riley opened his hands and watched in wonder as it fluttered away.

"Mummy, are you crying?" asked Cassie, crawling onto Hermione's lap.

"No, I've just got a bit of dirt in my eye." She glanced over at Malfoy. "Cass, Riley, this is your godfather, Draco Malfoy."

"What's a godfather?" asked Riley.

"It's...sort of like an uncle," explained Hermione.

"You can call me Uncle Draco," said Malfoy, winking at them.

"Cool!" Riley climbed onto the bench and squeezed himself between Malfoy and Hermione. "Uncle D?" It hadn't even been a minute and he already had a nickname.

"Yeah?"

"Are you magical?"

"You mean am I a wizard?" Riley nodded. "Watch this." He took out his wand, and making sure no Muggles were looking over, turned Cassie's hair pink. Riley's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"Wow! You're magical just like my mum!"

"Your husband's not a wizard?" asked Malfoy, looking over at Hermione.

"No, he isn't," she answered.

"Mummy says that we can't never ever tell Daddy about magic," said Cassie, examining her hair. "It's a secret. Can you turn my hair purple now? That's my favorite color."

"Maybe another day." He flicked his wand and her hair resumed its natural chestnut color. "I think your dad's here."

A tall, beefy man in a suit was walking toward them. Hermione stood up with Cassie in her arms.

"Daddy!" Riley jumped off the bench to hug his father's leg.

"Hey, Riley," he said, ruffling his son's hair. He frowned when he saw Cassie's dirty, torn dress. "What happened to her?"

"She fell," said Hermione, not meeting his eyes.

"Can't you keep a better eye on the kids? They're always coming home scraped up or covered in paint."

"They're just in a messy stage, that's all," said Hermione reasonably. "They'll grow out of it."

"That's what you said last week when Riley broke the TV with my golf club. Next thing you know, he'll be ruining the car."

"Joseph, please don't do this in front of the kids," pleaded Hermione.

"He shrugged and turned his attention to Malfoy. "Who's this bloke?"

"Draco, this is my husband, Joseph. Joe, this is Draco Malfoy. We went to school together. We made him Cassie and Riley's godfather, remember?"

"I was all for making Robert godfather, but you insisted." He looked Malfoy up and down, sizing him up. Apparently, he found no fault with Malfoy, as he merely grunted and looked at his watch. "We're late. Let's go." Without a backward glance, he strode towards the car parked against the curb.

"Charming bloke," said Malfoy sarcastically, as the two kids scampered after him.

"He wasn't like this when I married him," she said quietly.

"Hermione!" barked her husband. "I've got reservations! Hurry up!"

"I have to go," she said. She pulled out a business card and handed it to him. "Give me a ring sometime."

He stood there with the card in his hand, watching as she got in the car and her husband yelled something at her. They sped off, leaving behind nothing but a cloud of dust.

He began to jog home. He passed his favorite fish and chips place and decided to stop in to order dinner. Fifteen minutes later, he came out clutching a paper bag. It had started to rain, so he tucked the bag under his shirt. As he ran home, it rained harder until he could see nothing but blurry shapes through the sheet of water.

He trudged into his apartment, hair plastered to his forehead, his clothes dripping pools of water onto the floor. He set the now-sodden bag onto the table, then thought better of it and stuffed it into the rubbish bin. He wasn't really hungry anyway. He too a hot shower, letting the water soothe his tired muscles. Then he changed into pajamas and climbed into bed even though it was barely seven thirty.

He lay there, thinking about Hermione. He had never seen anyone look as defeated as she had when she had gotten into her husband's car. Why did you marry him, Hermione? Her words floated back to him: "He wasn't like this when I married him."

Somehow that didn't seem possible. Joseph Whittaker was probably one of the most despicable people he'd ever met, and that was only after talking to him for less than five minutes. He felt anger radiating from himself. Hermione deserves better, you son of a bitch. And yet again, he blamed himself for this. If only he hadn't lie to her. If only he'd been strong enough to resist his father's influence. If only...so many if onlys. What he would give to start over again, to wake up with her beside him.

But it was too late now.

He rolled over onto his side, her face flooding his mind until he drifted off to sleep.

----------------------

Some songs for the soundtrack:

Time Isn't Healing--Tom Felton

Tick tock goes the clock

Time is going so slow

And I'm supposed to be fast asleep

A couple hours ago

So I, I need to exercise

The right I've got to rest these eyes

And I, I need to knock on some doors

Then I won't have to lie here by myself anymore

Cause time isn't healing

Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling

And I, I can't help the way I feel about you

Cause time isn't healing

Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling

And I, I can't help the way I've fallen for you

I have a run to try to send me to sleep

But things aren't all that they seem

The only time I seem to spend with you

Is all in my dreams

So I, I need to let her go

Would it have worked, I guess I'll never know

And I, I need to hit the road

And find me a girl of my own

Cause time isn't healing

Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling

And I, I can't help the way I feel about you

Cause time isn't healing

Pretty sick of staring at my ceiling

And I, I can't help the way I feel about you

And I, I can't help the way I feel about you

And I, I can't help the way I've fallen for you

Why Does It Always Rain On Me?--Travis

I can't sleep tonight

Everybody saying everything's alright

Still I can't close my eyes

I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights

Sunny days

Where have you gone?

I get the strangest feeling when you belong.

Why does it always rain on me?

Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

Why does it always rain on me?

Even when the sun is shining

I can't avoid the lightning

I can't stand myself

I'm being held up by invisible men

Still life on a shelf when

I got my mind on something else

Sunny days

Where have you gone?

I get the strangest feeling you belong.

Why does it always rain on me?

Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

Why does it always rain on me?

Even when the sun is shining

I can't avoid the lightning

Oh, where did the blue skies go?

And why is it raining so?

It's so cold

I can't sleep tonight

Everybody saying everything's alright

Still I can't close my eyes

I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights

Sunny days

Where have you gone?

I get the strangest feeling when you belong.

Why does it always rain on me?

Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

Why does it always rain on me?

Even when the sun is shining

I can't avoid the lightning

Oh, where did the blue skies go?

And why is it raining so?

It's so cold

Why does it always rain on me?

Why does it always rain...