The Chosen

Chapter 3: Fear of Flying

Classes were just as Lily and the others had imagined them, complicated. There was so much to take in. There was Astronomy in which they had to study stars, and planets, and memorize all sorts of names and charts, and in Herbology they had to learn many different plants, caring for them, and their magical uses. There was also a class called Defense Against the Dark Arts in which the students assumed they would learn how to defend themselves against the dark arts, but the teacher didn’t show up. Then came History of Magic, which had everyone asleep on the first day. Sirius would later comment that Professor Binns looked as if he would drop dead one day and not know it. Lily seemed to really take to Charms. She had been the only one to perform successfully on the first day, but then again Jean seemed to perform successfully in everything else. This everything also included Potions, which just seemed to be one of those classes that just gave people trouble by simply existing. This was also the first class the Gryffindors and Slytherins had together. When Lily walked in Narcissa instantly greeted her. "Lily!" she said loudly, "I haven’t seen you for so long!"

"I know," Lily said sadly. This whole business of making friends was annoying her. Of course there was Jean, but she was often off with the older students or reading complicated books, and Remus seemed to be rather nice. But two friends? It was so depressing, and the sight of Narcissa gladdened her. She sat down next to her.

"So, maybe we could meet on Friday and talk?" Narcissa suggested. Lily was a little confused though, considering she didn’t know Narcissa that well and Narcissa was acting like they were old pals.

"Sure," Lily agreed a little hesitantly. Just then Professor Pearson came in, her black eyes glittering. She was head of Slytherin house and it showed. Although she had that ‘first day of class’ smile, she still managed to look somewhat sinister.

"Now class, welcome to your first year of potions," She began and lectured a whole period away about different sorts of potions and their uses in a cold voice. She had Severus Snape on the edge of his seat, and some others seemed interested, but everyone else was jolted out of their sleep when Sirius started snoring rather loudly. Lastly there was Transfiguration, which appeared to be the hardest, it even gave Jean trouble. Professor McGonagall seemed to be one of the strictest teachers in the whole school. No one in the class dared to even nod off for a second. She gave a great deal of homework on top of it all.

* * * * *

On Friday Lily met Narcissa out on the grounds, still a little apprehensive about it. Narcissa had been talking to an older boy who looked somewhat like Gretchen when Lily approached. "Lily!" she shouted, "This is Lucius." Narcissa pointed at the older blonde boy. He wore a shiningly arrogant smile, and his smug face looked as if he was instantly judging everything he saw.

"Hello," Lily said lightly. Maybe she was judging him in a way as well, but she got a sudden feeling that she didn’t like him at all.

"And Lucius, this is Lily."

"Charmed," Lucius said coldly. He looked her over and nodded at Narcissa, before walking away. After he did so, Narcissa promptly squealed.

"He’s perfect isn’t he? A sixth year! A prefect! And good looking too…"

"Narcissa, isn’t he a little old?"

"Oh maybe, but none of the boys our age are mature enough. Admit it. Most of them probably don’t even know that we’re girls."

"I guess you’re right, but those that do…"

"Think we have cooties." Both girls started laughing. This laughing attracted some stares from the other students, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin laughing together? The blasphemy of it all!

Narcissa glared at some passing Hufflepuffs who were staring at them. "So do you like it here so far?"

"To tell you the truth, I keep expecting to wake up one morning and be back home, waiting to go to that hell they call Greenwood."

"Really?" Narcissa said laughing. Lily smiled weakly at her reaction. Several other students passed and stared at them. "What is everyone’s problem?"

* * * * *

Back in the Common Room, Jean Caldwell was rereading her Transfiguration text in high hopes of figuring out Professor McGonagall’s impossible essay. "I don’t think I’ll ever figure this out!" she said rather loudly. A boy spun around in his chair to look at her.

"Transfiguration?" he asked gloomily.

"Yes," Jean wailed slightly, she had never had to work so hard in school before.

"Maybe we could work together. Two heads are better than one," the boy said with a laugh, slapping himself on the head, "I’m Frank Longbottom."

Jean smiled, picked up her stuff and went to the table Frank was sitting at. "I’m Jean Caldwell," she said.

* * * * *

During the next week a message was posted about flying lessons and suddenly a fever of wild and somewhat ridiculous stories started around the school. Arabella was telling everyone that would listen a story, about almost crashing into a helicopter, which changed every single time she told it. Everyone was like that, with the exception of a few Muggleborns who’d never seen a broomstick, much less had the opportunity to ride one. Jean confided to Lily that since her family had lived in town she had never even been near a flying broomstick.  "I always wanted to learn how though, it should be fun," Jean told Lily. Lily on the other hand could only picture herself falling off the broom and plummeting to her death.

The day of the lesson was breezy and warm, not a cloud in the sky. The Gryffindor girls walked over to the 20 brooms laid out on the lawn. Practically everyone else was already there. "There you girls are," said an exasperated Madam Hooch, a young teacher with short hair and yellow eyes, "Get by a broom, hurry up." The girls took their places quickly. "Now," Madam Hooch commanded, "put your right hand over your broom and yell UP."

"UP!" the entire group yelled. Lily scowled as her broom stayed rooted to the ground, it hadn’t even moved. Some of the boys, namely James and Sirius, had their brooms jump straight to their hands and Arabella’s was wobbling a inch from the ground, but Lily’s just sat there.

"Don’t be so scared," hissed the Hufflepuff boy next to her. Lily nodded and noticed that now only she and Christine Grant hadn’t managed to move their brooms. She tried not to think of falling off and to her surprise when she had finally pushed it out of her mind the broom jumped to her hand.

Madam Hooch showed them how to properly mount and grip their brooms "Now, when I blow my whistle I want you all to kick off the ground hard, rise a few feet and then come straight back down. Ready? Three…two…one." The whistle sounded and the group kicked off.

Arabella was grinning ear-to-ear, "The air has got to be better up here," she shouted to no one in particular. Jean felt that she agreed, and jabbed a nervous Lily and pointed to James who was currently doing loop-the-loops and getting shouted at by Madam Hooch.

Lily looked at Christine who was right across from her. The look on her face was very frightened, but it didn’t come close to the look of sheer terror on Lily’s. Her knuckles had begun to turn white from gripping the broom handle so tightly when everyone started coming to the ground.

 "That wasn’t that bad was it?" Madam Hooch said eyeing them all. The lesson continued like that. Lily was just starting to feel comfortable when she almost fell off. If Jean and that Hufflepuff boy hadn’t grabbed her arms and steadied her she would have. Even Christine was looking at Lily sympathetically. 

When the Gryffindor/Hufflepuff lesson ended the Slytherins and Ravenclaws were waiting for theirs. "You know," said a brown haired Slytherin boy loudly, "They say that a fear of flying is caused by deep-seated emotional problems." This caused most of the Slytherins to laugh.

Narcissa grinned, but slapped his shoulder. "Ryan," she said in a chastising voice and Lily past her.

"Is it really?" Lily asked Jean when they had pasted the Slytherins.

"Maybe, but what does he know he’s just a Slytherin." Then the other Gryffindor girls caught up with them and started talking madly about flying.

Fiona O’Flaherty suddenly put her hand on Lily’s shoulder. "It’s okay," she whispered

"I wonder how long little red is going to hide her natural talent?" Arabella said sarcastically making Lily’s face go red as her hair. Jean shook her head as if to say, "Don’t". This caused Arabella to roll her eyes, but she didn’t pressure the matter.

* * * * *

That night Lily found it hard to fall asleep. Even after the other girls had stopped trying to explain Quidditch she kept hearing Ryan’s voice in her head, "They say that a fear of flying is caused by deep seated emotional problems." While worrying about what deep-seated emotional problems she could possibly have Lily drifted off into a strange and troubled sleep. She dreamed that she was alone in the forbidden forest, or at least that’s where she assumed she was, considering she had never been there in real life. She kept hearing all sorts of different voices, some male, some female, but they all said the same thing, "It’s coming."

* * * * *

After awhile at the school most of the first years started settling into the little cliques that would affect the rest of their lives.  A rag-tag group was formed from the Gryffindor boys, excluding Frank, who seemed to think, like Jean, that older students make better friends. The Gryffindor girls had also become close, aside from Jean’s obsession with annoying the prefects. The fact that Lily was close to a Slytherin didn’t do too much for her popularity either, but the others accepted her with small amount of distrust. Those and other little groups of friends sprung up all around the school.

One morning at breakfast Lily received her first letter from home. Her mother wrote almost ecstatically.

Lily,

Darling, I am so pleased that the trip to your school went well, and I was delighted to receive your letter by owl the other day. It’s simply amazing, this whole world I was practically unaware of. Everything here at home has been going rather smoothly. I only hope we can get Petunia off to Greenwood without a hitch, she sends her regards. Oh and another thing, what do you think of the name Daisy? Just bouncing things off of you, can’t tell you why yet. Your father’s still desperate to keep it a secret, well, he won’t be able to much longer, I’m afraid.

Please write back, this owl post thing is simply delightful,

Mother

"Oh, Mum," Lily sighed after reading the letter.

"What did she say?" Fiona asked.

"Oh she’s just a little too excited by everything."

"Is she a Muggle?"

"A what?" Lily remembered someone saying that word before in reference to her mother. Mrs. Snape, but the way she said it made it sound like a swear word.

"A non-magical person." Fiona said in a hushed voice, misreading Lily’s puzzled look for one of absolute disgust.

"Oh, that she is. I wonder what she’s talking about." Lily folded up the letter and looked down the table at the others.

* * * * *

"Is there something about that girl that I’m missing?" asked the cold drawl voice of Gretchen Malfoy to her friend Narcissa.

"Who?" Narcissa answered, she was staring off into space again; imagine herself dancing with Lucius on a cloud.

"That Gryffindor, your friend…Rose?"

"Lily."

"Whatever, why are you her friend?"

"I don’t know. She…er… seemed nice." Gretchen rolled her eyes and Narcissa slipped back into her daydream.

* * * * *

It took what seemed like ages, but the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor had finally arrived. Professor Fletcher greeted the class with a flippant, arrogant air. He seemed to think that he knew everything that there was to know. "Well good day class, I’m sorry for the delay. There were some things that simply couldn’t be avoided. I am Professor Fletcher and I will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts."  Several people giggled as someone made an unheard comment in the back of the room.  Professor Fletcher glared in the direction the noise had come from, and then turned to the rest of the class. "Open up your books. I’d like you all to read chapter one to yourselves. We will have a discussion when you’ve all finished." 

The class went on like this. Professor Fletcher sat behind his desk reading even after half the class had finished reading chapter one. The other half hadn’t even started, they were just goofing off. Then suddenly when class was just about over Professor Fletcher stood up and cursed one of the goof-offs, this one in particular was Peter Pettigrew. The whole class turned to him shocked. "Now, that is what this class is about. I’m here to teach you so that that would never have happened. You’re Peter right?" The boy nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. "Go immediately to the hospital wing. The rest of you, class dismissed." Everyone started rushing for the door so quickly, afraid the last one left would be cursed that practically no one heard the Professor’s last words, "Experience is the hardest teacher. Remember that."

* * * * *

The Gryffindor first years were all in the common room when a bewildered Peter finally arrived. "That man is scary," he said taking an open spot on the floor.

"Yeah," Sirius said frowning.

"He didn’t really teach us anything," Jean spat, "well, except not to goof around in his class, but otherwise he had no right to do that!" Some of the others nodded in agreement.

Arabella put her arm around Peter. "We won’t let him do that again, will we?" she asked. There was some shaking of heads. They spent an awfully long time that evening complaining about Professor Fletcher from the fact he just showed up to some random thing about how unfashionable his hair was. Lily didn’t join in though. She just sat nearby listening to everything they had to say, but not commenting. She still wasn’t comfortable enough around any of them.

"I’m going to bed," Jean said around 9, "got to be rested for class tomorrow." Lily followed her upstairs without so much as a ‘goodnight’ to the others.

As Jean was getting into bed she turned to her friend, who was sitting in bed writing in the little green notebook she had gotten over the summer. "Lily, what’s wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily replied without even looking up from her notebook.

"You haven’t said that much lately. Are you homesick?"

"No."

"Okay." Jean shrugged and crawled into her bed. Lily looked over at her and frowned. How could she tell anyone, even her very best friend, that she was scared of making a fool of herself, that she was nervous that no one would like her, and that she had been having horrible nightmares since that first flying lesson? "Maybe I am a little homesick" Lily thought turning back to her writing.

That night Lily had another nightmare. She woke up with a start and looked around the room. As usual it took her a little while to figure out where she was. When she did she decided that getting up and walking around might clear her head. After pacing the room for a while, Lily went down the stairs to the common room with her copy of The Standard Book of Spells Grade 1.  When she got there she sat in a chair and began to read, eventually she became aware that she was not the only one in the common room. "Hello?" she asked softly turning in her chair to see the form sitting by the fireplace. "Is that you Remus?" There was an awkward pause in which no one spoke for a long time.

"Yes, it’s me," Remus said finally.

"What are you doing awake?"

"Thinking, what about you?"

"Same. What about?" Lily got up from her chair to sit closer to Remus, but he moved away.

"Just life."

"What’s wrong?"

"Like I said, life." He got up and went toward the stairs casting a glance toward the window.

"Remus, please tell me," Lily pleaded getting up to follow him.

He looked her over, almost sizing her up, then he spoke, "It’s just my parents. They’ve been fighting a lot and I worry about them. Things were getting really hectic at my house before I left. I haven’t heard from either of them since I arrived here at Hogwarts." He didn’t look Lily in the eyes as he said any of this he just kept staring out the window. Then he went up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory. Lily watched him go before going up to her own dormitory hoping for a dreamless sleep.