More Notes

Hello female Weasley.

What do you want?

I've decided to overlook the fact that your family is dirt poor and have muggle sympathies so that you can be my on/off girlfriend.

How gracious of you, but I really don't think that I want to take that wonderful privilege away from Pansy.

I said on/off girlfriend. I can't be going steady with my wonderfully handsome looks. I can't deprive the female population of that.

You have such a big head.

You have no idea!!

Don't be disgusting!! I don't even want to think about that part of you!!

You don't have to think about it, you can see it for yourself.

Are you trying to make me vomit? Why are you suddenly interested in me anyway? This is so completely out of character.

True, but for some reason your fiery red hair and beautiful freckles have started to recently do things to my lower regions.

In that case why doesn't Ron do it for you?

I don't swing that way. At least, not at the moment. So, anyway, what do you say?

As much as being part of your harem would no doubt be endless fun and full of probable stupidity, I have to decline.

This saddens me.

You'll get over it.

Probably. Can't we just have a five minute snog anyway?

This sickens me.

You'll get over it.

Doubtful. Anyway, if Ron caught us he'd go berserk. Actually, it may be quite fun just to get on his nerves anyway.

Is that a yes?

I'll have to think about it.

Well?

I can't think with you staring at me. It's distracting.

I'm glad you find my mere presence so intimidating.

I said distracting. Anyway, I'm trying to do some homework.

Can't you just get your mudblood friend to do it?

Don't call Hermione that. I would never ask for help anyway, I can do this myself.

Oh please. I don't believe that.

Fine. Well I would, I did and she said no.

She said no? What kind of friend is she then? She helps that brain dead brother of yours.

Which brother would that be?

You're amusing Weasley. You will make a great addition to my group of adoring on/off girlfriends. I meant Ron.

I know. She fancies him though doesn't she?

That is true. This also saddens me.

Why? Surely you weren't thinking of asking Hermione to join your prestigious group.

Of course. She is very fine looking these days and that is all that is required.

You are such a hypocrite. You hate her because she's muggle-born.

Jealous?

You wish.

Well, some day she will see the error of her ways.

So who else is in this harem of yours?

Do stop calling it that, you make it sound so sordid.

You have a group of girls fawning over you and obeying your every will. It is sordid.

True. Well, I have Pansy Parkinson, Susan Bones, Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil and Harry Potter.

Eh? I thought you said you don't swing that way.

I said I didn't at that moment. I changed my mind.

Well, how could Harry have joined your group whilst you were writing notes to me?

He passed by a couple of minutes ago and I winked at him. This is the code of entry.

I didn't see him. Are you sure you're not just making that up?

Of course I'm sure.

Really?

No.

So he didn't walk past?

No, I made that up. I was just dreaming of how things should be. Me ruling the world with Potter at my feet.

I don't even want to think about what he would be doing at your feet thank you.

Come my fiery haired lover. Let us leave this place of books and go frolic in the meadows.

You know, something about that sentence just doesn't sound right coming from you.

I'd have thought that something about this whole conversation doesn't sound right.

This is true. Anyway, I can't be in your har..I mean group of adoring lovers. I am with child.

WHAT??

Ok that's not true. I just wanted to startle you.

Weasley you are such a tease.

You have no idea.

I think we should test that theory.

Oh what the hell. This whole conversation is silly and unrealistic. I might as well give in to your seductive ways.

I knew I could get you to succumb to me. Let us go find a conveniently empty classroom where we will surely not be disturbed.

Right behind you Draco.

Kinky!!

Let's go before I change my mind.