Ginny's Smiles

Ginny's Smiles

Pray God you can cope

"How long do you think it will take?" Lily asked her husband. This was going to kill her baby.

"An hour," James muttered.

Never a very optimistic one, Sirius chimed in: "Maybe less."

He was so proud of Harry for how far he had come. And now, it was all going to be shattered by fate.

I stand outside this woman's work

Harry grinned as he saw Arthur and Molly half-running down the hall of St. Mungo's. The rest of the Weasley clan was already standing in the waiting room with him. He could barely contain his excitement. Ginny had gone into labor just over thirty minutes ago to prepare to give birth to their daughter.

Hugs were spread as Molly and Arthur reached the crowd.

"Hello, Harry," Molly said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "How is she?"

"Hi Molly. Last time we heard, she was doing fine," he said, reaching a hand out to shake Arthur's. After the marriage, his new parent-in-laws had insisted to be called by their first names.

"And have you both decided on a name?" Arthur asked, beaming as he sat down on one of the benches.

Practically bouncing on the balls of his feet Harry replied proudly, "Yes. We're going to call her Marie." It had been Ginny's idea. When she had found out that Lily Potter's middle name had been Marie, the idea had stuck with her.

This woman's world

Lily could not have been happier when she heard the child was going to bear her name. Harry's child was going to bear her name.

"Oh, damn," James said. The healer was walking out of the delivery room, a defeated look on his face.

This was it. They all braced themselves.

Ooh, it's hard on the man

Now this part is over

Now starts the craft of the father

"Mr. Potter," Healer Johnson said, "can I speak to you privately for a moment."

Fear washed over Harry at the tone and expression of the healer. He was aware that Remus and Hermione and the Weasleys were all staring after him. As if in a trance he walked to an empty room off to the side.

"Is the baby alright?" he asked worriedly.

The healer nodded. "I'm sorry Mr. Potter...we tried everything...but Ginny...she's had a hemorrhage...she's not going to make it. I'm very sorry."

Harry gripped the wall. No! Not Ginny. He didn't know how to live without her. The thought was preposterous. They had planned to have children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They were going to live and grow old together.

"And the baby?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion. So many emotions. Fear, depression, denial.

"The baby will live and be healthy. It is almost out. It was an easy birth, but your wife..."

"Can I see her?"

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

Lily entered the delivery room. It was too chilled with worry in the waiting area. James and Sirius had understood and let her go alone. Healers were rushing around everywhere and she could hear the gasps of the poor girl. Death was ripe.

She walked around the curtain. Ginny looked horrible. Her eyes were half-open and had extremely dark circles under them. Her chest shuttered with ever breath. The child, barely twenty-five years old, was losing the battle for life. Lily laid her hand on the girl's forehead. She had strength, perhaps enough to fight.

I should be crying but I just can't let it show

Harry walked over to the bed that Ginny was laying on. She smiled through tears and pain as he kneeled next to her. He wanted to cry, sob, scream. But he had to be strong for her like she was being for him.

"Sorry...about the way I look," she murmured.

He shook his head. "Don't say you're sorry."

"You're right. That's your job," she teased.

Harry gave a strangled laugh. Her last joke. "Yea. Besides, you look as beautiful as you ever did."

"Don't forget me," she whispered.

I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things I should've said, that I never said

Lily kneeled down next to Harry and put her arm around her own baby and sent some comfort his way. Tears came to her eyes. She laughed at herself. 'Angels don't cry,' James used to say. She couldn't help it. Harry would never get to experience the joy of having a real, full family.

All the things we should've done that we never did

"Guess this means our camping trip is off."

Harry's eyes filled with tears. Just a week ago the two had been talking about taking a camping trip. Ginny had wanted to go then. Harry said they could go after the baby was born so all three of them could go together.

"Take her," Ginny said. "Let her know me." Her breath hitched. One of her last.

"I can't," Harry murmured. "Not without you."

Ginny gave a short laugh.

All the things I should've given but I didn't

"Harry," Ginny whispered. "Look in my closet. There's something I was going to-" She gave out a painful gasp- "give you for your birthday. I want you to have it."

He let out a dry sob and laid his head down next to hers. She smiled at him. "I love you," he said, kissing her forehead. She nodded.

"I know."

Oh darling, make it go

Make it go away

Lily walked back into the waiting room. All of the people had been expecting a new mother and child. Now with grief, they would celebrate the child and death of mother on the same day. James was staring out at the other crying newborns displayed behind the glass, some mother holding theirs proudly.

"So much death," he muttered.

"We can't stop it. Everyone has to die eventually."

James shook his head. "I would have killed myself if you had died like this. No one should die like this."

Give me these moments back.

Give them back to me.

Give me that little kiss.

Give me your hand.

Harry stared at his wife for a long time. Every memory came back to him. He wanted to remember it all before it slipped through his fingers like water. Their first date, laying out under the stars, swimming in the lake, laughing for life, their engagement, their wedding, moving into their house, living...

"Can I have one more?" she asked quietly.

As if he knew what she meant, he leant forward and lightly kissed her lips. She closed her eyes. Weakly, she managed to bring her arm up a bit. He moved his hand over and grabbed hold of hers.

"Don't leave me. Please." he sobbed. Her eyes connected with his and she gave him one last smile.

He felt one squeeze before her hand went limp in his.

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

Lily, James, and Sirius watched as Harry walked out of the delivery room. Tears were streaming down his face but he didn't make a noise. He stood there staring at everyone. Ron's eyes were opened wide and he was shaking. Molly was already sobbing on Arthur's shoulder. George and Percy had left and Fred, Charlie, and Bill were slumped on the ground, their faces buried. Remus already had his arms around Harry.

Sirius stared at his godson and the pain on his face. He had never wished more than he did right then that he was still alive, to comfort him and help him with the burden of grief.

There was nothing more the three of them could do. They had come down for one sole purpose and it was completed. With one more glance back at the room, the three friends took Ginny and led her back.

I should be crying but I just can't let it show

Harry stared at the wall of his and Ginny's room. Pictures decorated the walls. In the dead silence, he could hear the soft breathing of his child. He wanted break down and sob and scream. It wasn't fair.

His beautiful young bride had been taken from him. The grief had made him silent. He had to be strong for the Weasleys. He had to be strong for his daughter. He had to be strong for Marie Virginia Potter.

I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things we should've said that were never said

As Ginny had promised, there was a present waiting for him- a collection of pictures from their life. He opened it whenever he felt particularly lonely. Flipping to a random page he found her smiling as she flashed the engagement ring he had presented her with. He ran from nowhere into the picture and took her up in his arms and spun her around.

Harry let out a sob.

All the things we should've done that we never did

"Harry?" she whispered, brushing the hair from his face.

He opened his eyes and stared at her. "Hi," he said.

Ginny lay down next to him. He had been sleeping so peacefully but she had to talk to him.

"I see you found my present."

Harry smiled, looking at the abandoned photo album on the empty side of the bed.

"Are you ghost?" he asked.

All the things that you needed from me

All the things that you wanted for me

"I had to talk to you. But I'm not a ghost," she admitted.

"I miss you," he said tearfully.

All the things that I should've given,

But I didn't

"I'm so sorry," said Ginny. She put her head on his chest her took his hand in hers. "I've been watching you. And Marie."

"She's so big. Always asks about you. And it hurts so much to not have you here too."

She kissed him, wiping away his tears. "I'll always be there. Just let her know that I love her. And Harry?"

He looked down at her, savoring seeing her again. "Yea?"

"I love you."

Oh, darling, make it go away

Just make it go away now

"Love you too," he said to the emptiness.

Ginny smiled.