Harry Potter and the Horrible, Awful, ... Very Bad Plot!

A/N: Oh, geeze. Tip, don't write a fic when you're half asleep... I don't care if it is a challenge. It's still not a good idea... Speaking of challenges, this is for a New Year's Challenge (if you couldn't tell). They gave me a reason to write another chapter to this insanity!!!

Disclaimer: Figure it out yourself. I don't own any of this 'cept maybe the fudge, but that I made myself.

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Harry Potter and the Horrible, Awful, Terrible, Atrocious, Ghastly, Repulsive, Very Bad Plot!

By: Liz Swarthy

Chapter Three: New Year's Party in the Gryfindor Commons!

It was New Year's Eve and every one was ready to party like it was 1999! WHOO! YEAH! CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT! Anyway, so every one was ready to party-hardy and so they did. There were even people there from other houses! Even Slytherin! One that caught every one's attention was Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. They were on the couch in the corner surrounded by a few other boys and girls from various houses playing a version of spin the bottle because they had nothing better to do than eat the chocolate fudge that had been made by the author.

It was Draco's turn to spin the bottle and Harry (Who has come back to life) watched intently as it spun 'round and 'round. It landed on him. "Alright," Draco groaned, "what do you want me to do?"

And evil grin crept across Harry's face and he leaned in close and whispered something into Draco's ear. Draco looked utterly disgusted, but then shrugged, took a swig of the spiked punch that Fred and George snuck in, and hurried off to do his dare.

He came down half an hour later dressed in a tux and he started to sing and dance.

"It's astounding;

Time is fleeting;

Madness takes its toll.

But listen closely...

Not for very much longer.

I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time warp.

Drinking those moments when

The darkness would hit me

And a void would be calling...

Let's do the time warp again.

Let's do the time warp again.

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the right.

With you're hands on you hips.

You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time warp again.

Let's do the time warp again.

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.

So you can't see me,

No, not at all.

In another dimension,

With voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded,

I see all.

With a bit of a mind flip

You're into the time slip.

And nothing can ever be the same.

You're spaced out on sensation.

Like you're under sedation.

Let's do the time warp again.

Let's do the time warp again.

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the right.

With you're hands on you hips.

You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time warp again.

Let's do the time-warp again."

Draco ended his song and sat down, a smile on his lips as applause exploded in the Common Room. He turned to Harry. "You turn."

Harry spun the bottle.

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Fred, George, Angelina Johnson and Lee Jordan were all standing around each other in a corner, very drunk. They were all dressed up for no apparent reason. Angelina was an anime character, (A/N: yes, she watches anime? Why? Nobody knows. It's one of them unsolved mysteries... ::Twilight Zone music plays:: Doodoodoodoo doodoodoodoo doodoodoodoo) San from Princess Mononoke, to be exact, Fred was a dog and George was a cat and Lee was a fluffy pink faerie.

Lee looked around the room and hiccupped, swaying slightly. He shouted out, "I'm so drunk, a Slytherin would look good. See, That Draco lad is looking really fine right now!" George burst in to laughter.

"Are you drunk, Lee?" came Professor McGonagall's voice from the portrait hole.

Lee walked over to her, pointing a finger to her and swaying slightly. "I 'snot," he said, and then he turned around, tripped over his own foot and fell. McGonagall clicked her tongue. "I'm going to have to confiscate the punch." And she did so, walked to a corner, and guzzled it down. Why? Nobody knows. ::Twilight Zone music plays::

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The party went back to normal, and more spiked punch showed up from a never-ending supply in the author's cupboard. Suddenly, Dobby the House Elf rushed in and started to hump Harry's leg. Nobody noticed.

Lee shouted out, "Firewhiskey is good for the soul!" And then he began to dance around and cried out, "I AM A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!"

For some strange reason that no one could explain, a bucket of ice appeared over his head and dumped itself on him.

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Draco jumped up. "Eureka! I've solved it!" And he ran from the room.

Harry would have said something, but he was busy dying Ron's head purple. After he was done, he said some magic words, "Quiero noveciento pollos por favor!" (A/N: You know, I don't even know what that means... I take French...) and purple fireworks began to explode from Ron's head. They set his hair ablaze and he was again a redhead, but no one paid any attention.

McGonagall jumped up and shouted out, "BY MERLIN, MY POOR SNAPPIE-POO WILL BE ALL ALONE TONIGHT!" She ran from the room, but nobody noticed.

Harry picked up Dobby, who had still been humping his leg, and transported him to a Voodoo Tribe in Africa, which took him for a rare delicacy and ate him.