Depressed Decisions

**~**Chapter Two**~**

Diagon Alley

In which Harry gets his school supplies and receives a letter.

**~**~**~**

The only interruption to the endless bouts of self-pity and self-criticism was when he went to Diagon Alley for all of his school supplies about three days before the beginning of term.

He had ventured off alone, and no one stopped him. They didn't want to bother him any more than he already was and they knew he was prone to snapping these days. Harry was glad about this. He hated the concerned stares that were always aimed towards him. He hated Lupin's useless attempts to tell him he understood what he was going through. Stupid idiot. Lupin had no idea. He also hated how Ron and Hermoine would always try to include him. Why did he want to be a part of there snogging sessions?

As Harry left Gringotts, he heard the familiar drawling voice of Draco Malfoy right behind him.

"Sod off Malfoy,"he said. Harry was not in the mood to deal with the other boy's childish jabs at the moment.

"Well, I see you're very good at dealing with loss, Potter. I thought you would be, having lost that mudblood whore to Weasley and getting your parents killed."

Malfoy has a point you know it was you who sent Voldemort after your parents-NO NO NO! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
"I'm not in the mood for this, Malfoy"

"Awwwww! Did I make ickle Potty sad?"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!" He had said he didn't have time for this. Malfoy should have listened.

"Bit touchy aren't we Potter? My father wanted me to give this to you." With that, Draco passed Harry a silky envelope and sauntered off into Knockturn Alley.

Harry turned the envelope over and studied the Malfoy crest, which was set into alternating green and silver wax, and keeping the parcel closed. Slowly, he broke the seal.

The letter was written to him in small, curvaceous handwriting, and signed T.M. Riddle. Harry almost dropped the letter, but thought better of it and decided to read on.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Your potions professor has informed me of a certain journal you keep in your possession. In the said journal, you happen to state quite a few views that I coincidentally share. Do not mistake me, I don not wish for a truce or happy friendship between us, but I am simply wondering what keeps you on you side of the war (more commonly known as the light side, although who is to decide what is light and dark). You would be an interesting, partner, shall we say, though I would not go so far as to call you valuable. You may think it weak of me to calmly write you a letter but we Slytherins often think of all possibilities before we act, and are not foolishly brave enough to believe everything we see. Then again, Severus tells me you were almost placed in Slytherin...

T.M. Riddle

Harry folded the letter again and put it in his pocket. He looked up to see Lupin coming towards him

"I thought I saw Malfoy give you a letter. What did it say?"

"Nothing." Lupin's face hardened determinedly.

"I'm afraid nothing isn't going to be good enough this time, Harry. I know you found Sirius's journal, and I know that you keep one of your own. Snape told me it was none to pleasant either. Now, what did the letter say?"

Harry knew Lupin wasn't giving in this time. Maybe if he handed over the letter, Lupin wouldn't say anything about the journal. Harry gave the other man the letter, and he slowly opened it up. When he was done reading, he looked up. His face was as white as a sheet.

"What the hell did you write?" He asked more in awe than in anger.

"Mostly just about how much I miss Sirius. I wasn't counting on Snape looking through my personal artifacts. Where is that son of a bitch anyway, I can't believe he would go snooping and tell Voldemort all of my secrets."

"I looked through Sirius's journal when I cleaned out his room. If yours is anything like that, I can see the meaning of this letter. Do you still have his journal, because those aren't facts I relish you knowing, or anyone else for that matter."

"I didn't read the whole thing and I burned it anyway."

"Oh. Okay. Now lets go get your school supplies. Ron and Hermoine are waiting for you at Flourish and Blots." Harry and Remus walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Right before they reached the bookstore, Remus took Harry off to the side of the road. He whispered in his ear: "you're going to have to make your own choices. I'll leave the letter with you." And with that he left Harry at the door.

When Ron and Hermoine saw him, they rushed over and started an attempt to make conversation. They had obviously been discussing what they were going to say before he entered the shop.

"I saw you and Lupin talking, was it about Quidditch?" Oh God! He usually never had anything to hide, and people ignored him then, but the second he finds out something private, no one can wait to hear about it.

"Uh, yeah, that's what we were talking about, Quidditch, yeah." God, he was a terrible liar. Any second now, Hermoine was going to pat him on the shoulder and tell him he didn't need to talk if he didn't want to. Then Ron would chime in with 'we're always there for you, mate.'

Surprisingly, no one said anything at all to this, but after a few moments silence, Ron started to ramble on about the Chudley Cannons and Hermoine stood there and humored him.

"I'm gonna' go get my school books guys, bye." Harry dismissed himself quickly and headed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts section for his new textbook. Tonks was the teacher this year. He picked up the needed item and walked over to the accompanying section- the Dark Arts.

This area was much more interesting. Some of the books looked quite old and were written in Parseltongue. He picked up a particularly interesting tomb called Dark Lairs of the Wizarding World.

He also picked up Basic Spells Grade Six, So You're Taking N.E.W.T. Charms, Advanced Transfiguration, and Astronomy for the Upper Grades. He had gotten a high enough grade to be allowed in N.E.W.T. potions, but Snape refused to teach him. He had a feeling that Dumbledore allowed him to do so because it would deny Harry the privilege of becoming an Auror, and therefore 'keep him safe.'

He had written awful letters to both Snape and Dumbledore for that, but he burned each of them.

After getting more ink and parchment, new robes, and an ice cream at Florean Fortescue's, Harry went to his favorite shop in Diagon Alley: Quality Quidditch Supplies.

As he entered the building, he brushed past Lucius Malfoy, who gave him a very odd look. Not surprising, considering he'd probably read the letter. The sight that met his eyes when hey got into the room was the grandest thing he'd ever seen. It was the latest Firebolt model- the Firebolt Revolution and its counterpart the Firebolt Silencer. The only thing that ruined the awesome picture, aside from the amount of money the most beautiful broom in the world probably cost, was none other than Draco Malfoy, who was also looking at it.

"So, is daddy going to buy it for you?" he asked his rival.

"Wow Potter, I had some uncertainties about your sexual orientation, but I never expected you to stalk someone."

"Like I'd waste my time stalking you of all people, Malfoy."

"Anyway, Potter, about the letter. I read it before it was sent. What, exactly, did you write that was so anti-Gryffindor?"

"Just sad, suicidal, and generally pissed off thoughts that I experience constantly throughout my everyday life."

"Well, that really heightened my respect for you. I didn't know you were suicidal, you just looked depressed to me."

"That's usually the same thing."

"Are you going to send a reply letter?"

Probably, if not just to piss off the Order."

"Considering your respect for him is incredibly low, I think I should help you with that."

"Bad idea. Ron and Hermione are worried about me as it is. Imagine if you will, their reactions to seeing me sitting somewhere with you, having a friendly conversation, while writing a letter to everyone's favorite Dark Lord."

"Did you seriously think I was going to sit in public? Follow me."

Harry had some doubts about this, but why not. If Draco was taking him to imminent doom, he already knew that was an unavoidable part of his life. There wasn't anything the other boy could do that would hurt him. Harry decided he could follow, and left the shop a few feet behind Draco.

He was led down to a small twisting road. As he walked along it, the road seemed to become gloomier and gloomier. Eventually, he reached an archway with the words 'Knockturn Alley' inscribed in it.

"Are you sure that it's the best idea for me to go in here?" asked Harry.

"Put this on," said Draco, giving Harry a dark green cloak in a heavy material. He put a black one on. Harry followed his lead. "No one will notice us, its not unusual for people to be disguised. They'll probably just think you're a Death Eater or something," Draco reassured Harry.

They made their way into Knockturn Alley, and off to a small pub. Draco asked for a private booth and they took their seats. Harry took out parchment and ink and Draco supplied the quill.

"Okay, so do you agree, or not?"

"Well, yeah, I do share a couple- well, a lot- of views."

"Why are you on the light side anyway? I mean, your kinda' more Slytherin than Gryffindor."

"The sorting hat asked me which house I wanted to be in between the two. I probably should have been Slytherin. Then maybe everyone would leave me alone and not feel like they have to keep me included all the time."

"You'd have probably died in first or second year, though."

"Well I will sooner or later."

"That is an incredibly bleak outlook on life you've got there Potter."

"Did someone say Potter?" spoke an oddly familiar voice.

"Oh, its you Aunt 'Bella," said Draco. Harry scowled as the unmistakable figure of Bellatrix Lestrange appeared behind Draco... except she had bright blue-violet eyes.

"I'm not my mum, you prat, and what the hell is Potter doing- hey whose letter is that? That's my father's handwriting, how come no one told me about this?!"

"It was my business, and after you blabbed about your stepfather's convenient end, no one trusts you anymore," said Draco harshly.

"I only blabbed to someone who already knew!"

"You didn't know that at the time. By the way, this is Potter"

"Hey Potter. Oh, and, Draco, I stopped by to tell you that a certain Miss Virginia Weasley is waiting for you under the alias of Katrina Von Duren."

"Oh! I forgot I was meeting her! Shit she is gonna' be mad!" Draco quickly ran off to get Ginny, and the girl took his seat.

"I'm Lauryn Riddle, and I'm guessing your Harry Potter. Nice to meet you, and if that is your letter, does it have anything to do with the journal thing Snape was talking about?" "Yes, it is my letter and, yes, it is about a journal, my journal to be exact." Lauryn picked up the letter, figuring that if he could tell her the topic than he probably wouldn't care if she read it.

Draco came back to the table about ten minutes later with a very apprehensive looking Ginny in tow. Instead of bothering to remove the offending body from his former chair, Draco simply went over to a nearby table to get two more.

"You didn't say your aunt was coming, Malfoy," said Ginny sourly.

"I'm not his aunt, I'm his cousin, her daughter. Also, I didn't tell him I was coming, but he went on about his lunch date all through dinner yesterday, and I just had to come and see who you were, " said Lauryn. "I happen to be the reason why your idiot boyfriend even showed up to get you. He forgot and I saw you on my way in. Damn! Hide me!" she finished in a whisper, her gaze on something or- more likely- someone right behind Ginny. She dove under the table as everyone turned to look in the direction of her stare.

Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy were coming towards them, and seemed to be scanning the tables for someone.

"Draco, dear, have you seen your cousin, she said she was looking for some friends and never returned," Narcissa questioned, turning to her son. "But, apparently, you have more interesting company with you. Harry Potter and, I'm assuming your infamous lunch guest, Virginia Weasley." Draco blushed bright scarlet.

"Uh, Lauryn was here a while ago, but um, I think she went somewhere else. I uh, think she said something about Pansy Parkinson and Greg Goyle, uh waiting for her to... get something on." Lauryn leapt out form under the table like something had bitten her.

"You traitor! Don't EVER mention threesomes, Goyle, and Parkinson in the same sentence ever again! Especially with me! EWWWWW BAD THOUGHTS!!!! GROSS!!!!" By now Lauryn was bent over, and looking like she was going to throw up.

"Oh, that's where you went Lauryn! We were looking for you," said Draco innocently.